Chapter 18 – My Bessie Friend

The Doctor opened his eyes, the side of his head screaming in pain. He could feel blood running down his face from where he lay, seemingly in a ditch of muddy water at the bottom of a slope. He tried lifting his head, but every single remnant of energy that had ever existed in his body was completely gone. He couldn't move – and they were coming.

But then he realised someone was leaning over him, he groaned and slowly turned his head to look up to see someone dressed in full black wearing a balaclava.

"Shush," the person urged. "Quiet and still."

He obeyed – he didn't really have a choice. He laid there in the ditch covered by the figure, trying to not pass out again. The sirens were still wailing, dogs still barking, men still shouting. Where was his phone? He looked around, seeing it lying about three feet away at the bottom of the slope he'd just plummeted down.

What had happened? There'd been a shot, and blinding pain to the side of his skull... He couldn't have been shot in the head or he'd be very dead by now. But he was very sure he'd just fallen down that steep verge. It felt like he had.

Suddenly an armed policeman appeared at the top of the verge, looking around for him. The Doctor took a quiet intake of breath... but for some reason the policeman didn't seem to see them, even though he was looking straight in their direction. The Doctor frowned slightly, eyes flicking up to the figure above him. They must be using a basic local camouflage to shield both the Doctor and them. The policeman frowned for a moment, and looked again. He reached up to his collar, pressing down on his communications device.

"I've lost it, sir," he said, then paused before answering, "no, I definitely shot it in the head, I'm sure of it... It could have only gone east into the open field... I understand, sir, on my way."

And with that the man turned and jogged away. There was a few moments pause before the person above the Doctor quickly reached for their wrist and began to fumble.

"My phone," the Doctor croaked, reaching for the device. The person looked up, and quickly retrieved the phone from the ground before slipping it into their pocket. The Doctor relaxed before the person fumbled again, whacked the device with a clenched fist, and then pressed a button.

The Doctor felt the familiar jolt of a transmat device and he closed his eyes for the move, before opening them again. He found himself in some kind of metal room piled with storage crates – the cargo hold of a spaceship? The person above him in the balaclava scrambled to their feet and looked at him lying awkwardly on the floor... then began jumping up and down excitedly.

Within seconds the Doctor was surrounded by around seven other people, various aliens from entirely different planets, all looking down at him with wide eyes, talking between themselves.

"It's him!" a tall female Zylox yelped.

"He's shorter than I thought," a Panonian man mused.

"Where am I?" the Doctor croaked, still not being able to find the energy to move, with his body hurting and the cold of the ditch water he'd landed in starting to get to him.

The person in the balaclava stopped jumping, grabbed their balaclava and wrenched it off.

"Heeey bessie!" the blue man yelled, beaming broadly.

The Doctor blinked. "Yash?"

"Yeah!" Yash replied, punching the air. "I did it!"

"Out the way, out the way!" another voice yelled, and the crowd of people parted to reveal blue-skinned woman, barging towards him with a green moon medical bag in her hand. She knelt down next to him, smiling a full set of pointed teeth. "Don't worry, love," she told him, unpacking the bag. "I'm a humanoid biology specialist doctor at the Central Universal Hospital. I'll have you fixed and back to saving the Universe in a jiffy."

The Doctor looked at her through sunken eyes as she began to examine the damage, then looked at Yash. "What's going on?" he asked weakly.

"Don't worry, love, it'll all come flooding back," the woman tending his wounds assured him.

He was about to protest, when he realised that she was going to start moving his body around. He decided he wasn't going to like that, so he closed his eyes and quickly passed out.

When he woke up again he was lying in a bed in the white room of a simply equipped medical bay. He blinked and tried to avert his eyes from the shining light above him, looking to the side to see the same crowd of aliens as before now standing outside the medical bay, staring at him through the window with awe.

"Welcome back!" a voice said. It was that doctor again.

"Hello," the Doctor replied, managing to sit up on the bed with a few grunts, still glancing every so often at the crowd of people staring in through the window, nose to glass.

"Would you like to know the damage, love?" the woman asked.

"Yes, please."

"You've broken your collar bone in two places, cracked three of your ribs on the left side, not severely, you've partially torn your right knee ligament, and there are two superficial head wounds, not serious. I've given you some painkillers. Don't worry, no aspirin, Yash told me you were allergic."

"Ah good, thank you," the Doctor replied, and cleared his throat. "Umm... Sorry, what's your name?"

"Pelirthopolariuategazomaza."

The Doctor blinked. "... Can I just call you Peli?"

"Of course, love," she said kindly, laughing.

He smiled back, and then gestured to the window. "Peli, who are those people and why are they staring at me?"

Peli followed his gaze to the window where all the people were still stood, staring. She instantly moved over to them and waved her hands. "Shoo! Shoo!"

They quickly dispersed and Peli turned back to him. "They're Yash's crowd," she replied. "Doctor forums space something or other."

"Ah," the Doctor quickly realised. They were his fans. "You're not...?"

"Oh no," she replied, still smiling. "I'm Yash's Aunt. I was staying with Yash and his Mother for the week and Yash asked me to come for this."

"This," the Doctor repeated, frowning.

She looked at him for a moment. "You really don't know what's happening, do you?"

"Honestly, no," the Doctor replied, running his hand running his hair. "I met Yash for ten minutes a couple of weeks ago. Now I just fell into a ditch and he appeared and transmatted me here."

"Well, no point in me explaining, I don't know squat," she said with that permanent comforting smile again. "Would you like me to get Yash?"

"That would be great, thank you."

She nodded, getting up and leaving. The Doctor took the opportunity to check himself over – his arm was in a sling, his leg elevated and he could feel cold gooey healing gel on the side of his head. There were small cuts over his legs from running through the undergrowth, bruises on his arms from the fall and more severe bruising to his ribs. At the rate he healed he could probably be up and moving in about in five hours.

He looked up, and noticed the people had come back to the window. Then they seemed to realise that Peli wasn't in there... and took the opportunity, running in the door holding photos and cameras, yelling over each other.

"Oh Doctor, I love you..."

"Please can I have your autograph..."

"I, um, love your work, and I, um..."

"Please could you tell me..."

"Please could I take a picture with you..."

"Can I ask you..."

"Okay, okay!" the Doctor said quickly with his functioning arm in the air, and instantly they fell silent. "Maybe if you went one at a time?"

One stepped forward instantly, the overweight freckled Panonian that had called the Doctor short earlier, clutching a notebook and a pencil.

"I am President of the Doctor Appreciation Society," he began in a nasally, dull voice. "I am currently compiling a database on facts about you, could you please clarify some things?"

"Um, okay," the Doctor said slowly, staring at him.

"Question one," he began, and instantly the Doctor realised he was going to be here for a very long time. "When in your first body, it was claimed you regenerated when you were 450 years old. When in your fourth body, you were quoted as saying you were aged 759. In your sixth body, you apparently had your 900th birthday, and when your seventh body regenerated you were 1009, and then claimed to be 1012 whilst in your eighth body. Whilst in your eighth body you were trapped as an amnesiac on Earth between the 19th century and Earth year 2001, making you at least 1125. Yet in your ninth body you claimed your age as 900, then you claimed you had only aged a year between your companions Martha Jones and Donna Noble, despite the fact you spent 2¾ years searching for Martha Jones when fighting Balthazar. Please could you clarify your age?"

"No idea," the Doctor replied tiredly.

"Thank you," the President of the Doctor Appreciation Society said, scrawling something down in his notebook. "Question two," it continued, in the same droning nasally boring voice. "When your third form was exiled to Earth and joined UNIT headed by Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, your first meeting with UNIT occurred in Earth year 1979 at the earliest. Your companion, Sarah Jane Smith claimed to be from 1980 at a time when the Brigadier was still with UNIT, yet later when you rejoined with the Brigadier after getting caught in a warp ellipse, we learnt that he retired in 1976. Please could you explain how he retired from UNIT before he joined it?"

The Doctor internally sighed. "Timey wimey."

"Thank you. Question three..."

"Just out of interest, how many questions are there?" the Doctor wondered.

"187," he replied, completely deadpan.

The Doctor sighed out loud this time, lying back against the pillows and staring at the ceiling, wondering if it was possible to chew his own foot off.

"Question three..."

"Hey, hey! Clear out the way!" a voice suddenly yelled, and the Doctor had never felt more relieved in his life as Yash appeared through the crowd, beaming. "Hey bessie!"

"Yash!" the Doctor said in delight. "Please, please come and talk to me."

"Just me and the Doc, people!" Yash yelled, taking command as he herded them out of the door, the President of the Doctor Appreciation Society struggling to make himself heard over Yash, still waving his pencil as the door buzzed closed. They all instantly went to the window, and Yash hammered a button on the side, an opaque metal screen slid down to completely shut them out.

"Thanks Yash," the Doctor said genuinely. "You've saved my life twice in one day."

Yash beamed and jumped to sit on the bed, jolting the Doctor in the air, who yelped in surprise and pain.

"Oh sorry," Yash said quickly.

"That's all right," the Doctor breathed, struggling to recover. "So, I'm on a spaceship?"

Yash beamed again, and instantly started up his rant, complete with elaborate hand gestures. "Oh you'll be so proud of me, Doctor! I heard about the arrest and sentence thing, right? I went straight on the Spacenet forums and everyone else had heard it too! So I was like, 'well obviously he didn't do it because he's too awesome', and everyone was like, 'yeah I totally agree!' so I was like, 'hey you know what, let's go save him guys!' and they were like, 'what, Yash? You crazy fool!' and I was like, 'he totally taught me how to handle saving people and stuff because he's my bessie', and they were like, 'no waaay, man!' and I was like..."

"Yash," the Doctor interrupted. "Get to the point."

Yash flushed an instant red, before continuing still with elaborate hand gestures. "Sorry. Well basically we did like all that, yeah, and my Uncle bet me I couldn't even if he got me a spaceship for a night, cos he works at the spacedocks, yeah? So I took him on, right? So everyone who could get to my planet within a day came, I got my Aunt to come cos I thought you might be hurt or something, which you were, we got on the spaceship and went straight to Earth. We saw this awesome thing that I totally loved called 'CBBC' on the monitor with something like 'Newsround' on it where they were talking about an alien hiding and I said, 'that's the Doctor!' so we waited until it got dark, tracked you down, swooped in to pick you up!"

The Doctor stared at him, only just about getting any of what he'd said. "How did you track me down?"

"Lenz has a bit of tissue with your snot on it he bought off of zBay," Yash replied, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The Doctor took some time to comprehend that. "... Okay," he finally answered, and then frowned. "... Wait, you watched CBBC, you speak English?"

Yash nodded, beaming. "You're like, totally into Earth so I took Earthonomics and we learnt two languages, English and American."

"Right," the Doctor replied. "Look, I really need to get back to Earth so if you can refuel when we get to your planet and fly me in your ship..." He stopped when he saw Yash's face. "... You don't have the spaceship after this trip, do you," he stated more than asked.

"Umm... no," Yash replied, looking a bit guilty.

"You haven't thought this through, have you."

"Ummm... no," Yash repeated, looking even more guilty. Suddenly he looked as though he were about to cry... "Oh my god, I've totally messed up everything haven't I? I'm always doing that! Why can't I be good at anything? I sucked at school and I suck at work and now I can't even save you right! Mum's right, I'm totally..."

"Yash," the Doctor interrupted again. "Calm down, we can work this out."

Yash looked at him, and suddenly brightened. "I know! Tomorrow we'll sneak in the spaceport at the crack of dawn, put sleeping draft into the guard's drinks, and when they're down we'll nick their guns, clobber the attendants unconscious and fight our way to the ship!" he yelled, punching the air.

"Or," the Doctor began. "You said your uncle worked at the spacedocks?"

Yash nodded. "He does bookings and stuff."

"Do you think he can get me unnoticed on a flight to the Sol galaxy station?"

Yash shrugged. "Probably, but there's no flights until the morning."

The Doctor bit his lip. Time was wasting away, but there wasn't much he could do right now but hide. "That's okay, I'll just have to stay here overnight."

Yash beamed. "Come to my house! My Mum totally wants to meet you!"

The Doctor had to suppress a sigh. "Can't wait."

A/N: Three cheers for Yash! Hip hip, hooray!