Come one, come all to the most amazing show on Earth! Not really, but if you want you can refer to it as such, good PR and whatnot...

Lostspelunker grows weary of her demanding fan base. Every single chapter means one more review! Can you guys give me some time to clear my inbox? (Note the subtle yet effective sarcasm implemented by the author.)

To own Naruto or not to own Naruto, that is the question.
To kill, to maim, the author at the end of the story and take ownership,
This is the dilemma that I face.

She blinked, and he was gone. She immediately decided that he was the creepiest one she'd met so far. With a pang, she realized that he was wearing the same cloak all the others had worn. She resolved to ask the next person she saw about it, and set off down the path to the March Hare's house.

Why does every chapter seem to start with me walking down a path? Sakura wondered to herself as she walked towards the house of the March Hare.

Because it's convenient for the author to end the previous chapter at a place that is a good stopping point, idiot, Inner said. Personally I think it's sheer laziness on her part to not come up with more interesting endings, but she insists in it.

Inner! Sakura said in surprise. Where have you been for the last couple of weeks?

I took a…vacation. Inner said uneasily, obviously avoiding the topic. (I/S/A Note: I was certainly not avoiding the topic you moron! Insulting me is just going to get you thrown out and smashed up again. You didn't throw me out! I went to a spa on paid vacation as a bribe not to steal the author's mike anymore! Hush, the readers think I'm tough. What? You lied to them and said you beat me up? …I didn't say it explicitly…But it was implied wasn't it? Maybe…Oh hells no. You're so going down. I'm sorry! Don't hurt me! Say it! INNER SAKURA IS TOUGHER THAN ME! ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE! I'M AM JUST A TOOL FOR HER TO USE TO MOVE THE STORY ALONG! Good girl, you get your Naruto plushy back. Oh thank god. Believe it! He's okay. He's okay. [At this point in the story, the author's curls up in the corner rocking back and forth and repeating the 'He's okay' use your imagination, because I don't feel like going into detail…sniff] Dude, that was harsh. What the… Iruka, what are you doing here? I dunno, I got bored; I'm never in any fanfics anymore. For a reason! Shoo! Nobody likes you! You're only for disrupting action scenes now! That hurts you know…) Sakura cleared her throat. (I/S/A Note: What?) "Can we return to the story now?" Sakura asked impatiently. (I/S/A Note: Oh right…go on)

Sakura shrugged, accepting Inners answer. She continued down the road. Before long, she started to hear loud music and a ruckus up ahead. Mentally bracing herself for more insanity, she was not disappointed to find a large table half-hazardly set up in the front lawn of a tumbledown shack. On the table was a eccentric assortment of many dishes, and platters, and cups, and maps, and books, and tissue boxes, and pencils, and pens, and cans, and calendars, and tires, and statues, and balls, and clothes, and…(I/S/A Note: Get on with it already!) all manners of objects you could possibly ever look for. All around the table were a carnival of chairs. Arm chairs, swivel chairs, tall chairs…(I/S/A Note:*Cracks knuckles*…right…)…enough to probably seat a kings entire army.

At the head of the table were two men, each sipping a cup of tea and playing racquet-ball with one hand, which was what was making the ruckus (the racquet ball, not the tea-sipping). Sakura, grateful for the rest, sank into a poufy armchair at her end of the table. One of the men glanced up and said, "There's no room for you here."

Sakura sat up straighter. "What are you talking about? There's plenty of room."

The second also glanced up and studied her. "Why is a raven like a writing desk, bitch?" He asked her with a puzzled look.

Sakura scowled back at him. "That's new, now instead of poetry, it's riddles."

"Does that mean you know the f***ing answer?" He asked her. At this, his companion, who was the Mad Hatter, Sakura guessed, due to his enormous hat, glanced up and stared at her in interest.

"I think I can guess it." She snarled, since she was rather good at riddles, plus she wanted to prove that he was wrong in calling her a bitch.

The one who spoke, most likely the Mad Hatters companion, the March Hare, continued, "Then you should have just said that right out, moron. Say what you mean."

"I did," Sakura said, defending herself. "I said what I thought at the moment, which was a comment on your riddle. Then I said that I would answer it. I always mean what I say."

"You might as well say that 'you breathe when you sleep' is the same as 'you sleep when you breathe'." A small form that had been hidden by a pile of Thesauruses, thus escaping Sakura's attention previously, said. On closer inspection, she saw that it was a young man with mouse ears and a black pineapple hairdo slumped over the table, sleeping soundly, or so it appeared.

"Then why the hell haven't you answered yet?" The March Hare asked her as if the mouse boy had never even spoken.

"Because I don't know the answer yet! You haven't given me enough time to guess!"

Do you really have to justify yourself to these insane people? Inner muttered at the back of her head. She shrugged it off and thought about the question.

"Then you don't know the answer?" The Hatter seemed disappointed.

Sakura gave a frustrated sigh. "No! I don't know the answer yet! Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"We don't know, stupid, we were f***ing hoping you would," The Hare said. "Why else would we ask you?"

Sakura moved to their side of the table, ready to give them a piece of her mind when she was confronted with a cup of steaming tea. "Have some more tea," the Mad Hatter said.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I didn't have any yet. I can't take more."

The March Hare clicked his tongue. "You mean you can't have less," He said as if pointing out something to a toddler. "It's very easy to have more than nothing."

Sakura was rendered speechless at their impossible logic. I thought that you were immune to the insanity of this world by now. Shouldn't you just go with it? Sakura nodded, taking a deep breath and accepting the proffered cup of tea.

"So, what are you doing besides playing racquet ball and finding out why ravens are like writing desks?" She asked, glancing between the two awkwardly.

The March Hare was very tall; standing, he could be at least six and a half feet in height. His skin was also very pale. The Hare's hair was a odd geryish, that was slicked back across his scalp, and his eyes were a dull pinkish red.. On top of his head were the prerequisite bunny ears, but unlike the White Rabbit, his were brown.

The Mad Hatter was shorter than the Hare, hell, anyone not in the NBA would be, but he was taller that Sakura, hell, anyone not a member of the lollipop guild would be. His hair was a bright orange, and his eyes were a grey that seemed to make rippling circles in his irises. The oddest thing about him was that he was covered in metal piercing covering his face and ear. He really is mad to shove all that metal in his face. Sakura thought. I kind of like it, said Inner.

The hatter spoke while she was staring at him, startling her. "We usually drink tea and celebrate."

Sakura, intrigued, asked, "Celebrate what?"

"We celebrate finding the answer to riddles."

"How?"

"By giving me a piercing."

"…Well, this has been fun, but I'd best be off."

The two insane people waved her off as she walked away, confounded and with a slight headache.

Thank you to all my reviewers for finally reaching 20 reviews!

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All of you guys are awesome and I love you…in a platonic kind of way…Especially those that reviewed multiple times…yeah…

In case you didn't guess, I/S/A is Inner Sakura/ Author notes.