a/n: I don't own it. If I did there might have been less stalking. But since there was, I'm going with it. EverlastingMuse betaed it but the content is my fault.

Rear Window

I don't know if Alice knew what she was doing when she told me that Chief Swan was going to be out of town this weekend. I found myself…worrying about her. Despite the fact that I was probably the biggest danger to her in town I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could possibly happen to a pregnant teenager left alone all weekend. She could fall and hurt her head, she could miscarry, she could be attacked by hobos. My imagination knew no bounds when it came to coming up with creative misfortunes that could befall her. Not once did her getting eaten by a moody, normally vegetarian vampire/private detective occur to me.

I obsessed on it all week before deciding that I could keep an eye on her without getting close enough to be tempted by her/creeping her out. I had no idea where this desire to protect her was coming from. I still had moments when I cursed her existence because of the anxiety it caused me. But since she did exist and Alice insisted that she could not be convinced to go away I felt obliged to protect her. I have no idea why. I was getting kind of obsessed.

Alice knew what I was doing as I slipped out of the house to go to Bella Swan's on Saturday afternoon. I could see the image of me in my sister's head, crouching in a tree outside the Swan house, fixated on an upstairs window.

I looked at her warily, not knowing how she would respond. But my sister only gave me an imperceptibly slight nod and went back to her conversation with our mom.

I lurked in the woods behind Bella Swan's house until dark and then I moved to the tree outside her bedroom window. At least I assumed that it was hers as the Chief didn't seem the purple bedspread type. She had stayed in the house all afternoon, doing homework, cleaning, cooking some pasta and eating it at the kitchen table while she read "The English Patient". I could hear the sound of her steady heartbeat and her barefoot steps moving around the house. I strained to hear the second heartbeat. I wondered when she was due; and how this had happened to her.

Around ten o'clock she went to bed, reading for a while before turning out the light next to her bed. I had found it surprisingly interesting watching her read, her face changed expression in an intriguing way as she responded to what she was reading. This was a response I couldn't recall having had to any creature before. I was fascinated.

As she switched out the light next to her bed she gave a sigh. She was quiet for a few minutes and then I was appalled and embarrassed to hear soft sobs coming from her through the window. I wanted to leave to give her some privacy, I wanted to stay to protect her.

Grotesquely, I wanted to comfort her. How exactly would I do that? Would I knock on the door, greet her casually? "Hi, It's me, Edward the Weirdo. I heard you crying and assume it's because you're going to have to get your prom dress in the maternity department. Would you like a hug? Oh, wait, I can't hug you because I might not be able to resist drinking your blood."

Not such a hot plan, Cullen.

Then I remembered Alice and before I could get my phone out it buzzed with a message from Alice. Don't worry. I got this.

A phone rang in the Swan house and Bella's light went on and she dragged herself out of bed. She found her cell phone and answered it.

"Hey, Alice….no, it's not too late. I'm glad you called." Bella sat on the edge of her bed and spoke to Alice for a few minutes about trivial things. Still, it seemed to cheer her up and by the time she got off the phone and turned the light back on she was able to fall asleep quickly without any more tears.

I watched her sleep through the window for the rest of the night. I could smell her faintly but I had become used to it enough in the past months to not feel tempted with the glass and ten feet between us. Watching her felt pretty stalkerish but it also felt peaceful. The silence of her mind and the soothing sounds of her heartbeat and regular breathing were enjoyable. She was incredibly beautiful as she slept; her dark curls spread out on her pillow, her lips parted slightly and her dark lashes feathery against the paleness of her skin. I grimaced as I realized that I would no longer have a good excuse to do this once her father returned.

It was a disorienting feeling to discover yourself hooked on watching a teenage girl sleep in addition to your other creepy habits, like drinking blood, not sleeping and reading minds.

My new hobby seemed like something Emmett would have a field day with. I have to keep him from knowing. Especially since I didn't think I wanted to stop.

I think I could have gone on forever the way things were. Working in my office during the day, reading my mystery novels at lunch, hunting in the evening before watching the local pregnant teenager sleep at night. We all have our routines, especially lonely, single vampires.

I could have continued to hold Bella Swan in high esteem for the silence of her mind and her pre-Raphaelite beauty while assuming that, were things different, she would hold me in equal esteem. She would have appreciated my love of reading, the many languages I spoke and my dedication to my family. We could have held hands while walking through downtown Forks. She could lay her head in my lap while we read the Sunday paper, she would have been impressed that I could complete the New York Times crossword puzzle in 30 seconds, in pen no less. I would have read her baby's mind to tell her how it felt. She would offer to name it after me, regardless of sex (Edwina Swan? Edwina Cullen?). Before I knew it I had gone from wincing when her name was mentioned to picking out china patterns. Not that I ate.

I had actually developed an interesting fantasy relationship for the two of us before I even realized how idiotic I was being. I spend 90 years of immortality having zero interest in women and all of a sudden I'm daydreaming about a pregnant teenager whose blood I want to drink? I wondered if it was the equivalent of a wine connoisseur admiring the provenance and label of an especially prized bottle of wine. But then when I imagined drinking her blood it was no longer with relish but with dread and sadness. As Emmett would say; "WTF?"

In a fit of masochism I decided to make a list of all the reasons that I was being ludicrous in my fixation on Bella Swan. I got out all my colors of dry erase marker so that I could color code my list of objections. The white board in the office boasted a list entitled "Reasons why I need to stay away from Bella Swan"

I wanted to eat her.

I could potentially want to eat her baby.

I lived with other vampires who could potentially want to eat her.

I was a soulless, immortal monster.

I had a body that was slightly below ambient temperature.

I belonged to a species that wanted to eat her.

I was a virgin; she clearly had experience.

I could hurt her if I wasn't careful.

I was a stalker.

She had little or no interest in me.

I was 90 years older than her.

I lived with Emmett, who was an idiot.

I could go on but what would be the point? It was pathetic. Unfortunately, I left my list up too long and Emmett saw it, doubtless when he was stealing hand sanitizer from the office supply cabinet and I had to give him free access to our supplies for a month in exchange for his silence.

So you can imagine my frustration when I heard that she was going to prom with Mike Newton. I mean, I know that I couldn't reasonably prevent her from going to her prom. That kind of thing was important to humans. And Alice. And it's not like she would want to go with me, the slightly creepy, ostensibly 20 year-old local private detective. But it didn't mean that I wasn't jealous.

Reveling in her first friendship outside the family, of course Alice and Bella got ready together at our house. And, of course I had to lurk around like a creep. Pretending to be utterly disinterested in seeing how she looked in her voluminous prom dress.

In case you're wondering; she looked beautiful.

Alice had outdone herself. She had Bella in a midnight blue, high-waisted dress which really minimized the fact that she was six months pregnant and made the most of her pale skin and dark hair. The nice thing about infallible vampire memories is you can look once and hold onto the image as if you were staring.

Ok, I might have stared a little bit too. Subtly.

Thankfully, Mike Newton didn't pick Bella up at our house but met them at a restaurant in Port Angeles instead.

I exercised the restraint necessary to not follow them because my sister and brother were with them ensuring a) she was safe and b) they would know about it and mock me if I did.

I stayed at home, playing my piano and making conversation like a non-stalker until Alice and Jasper arrived home at 10:03 pm.

At which point I wigged out.

"Where's Bella? Did you leave her there with that teenage pervert?"