So I think Bella is beautiful, don't get me wrong.
I just think that the average graduation robe was really not designed with the 5'2" pregnant woman in mind. None of the girls really look their best (because they are wearing big acetate robes) but she looks remarkably like a parking kiosk. Any minute now I'm expecting to see some retired guy with a library book poke his head out of her sleeve to take my ticket.
Unfortunately, I won't be able to hand the man in her robe my ticket because that would require me to step into the blazing sunshine that Forks is deciding to have on Bella's graduation day. I guess I could just pretend someone had ordered those sparkly mirrored balls for the graduation.
To be fair, it's Alice and Jasper's graduation day as well but it's Bella's first high school graduation and Alice's 6th. Not that Alice isn't still close enough from our position in the woods to hear the speaker, the president of First Bank of Forks, the long-winded and painfully boring Tom Mallory, as well as the scintillating words of Eric Yorkie, the valedictorian, who is thrilled to be quoting the edgy wisdom of both Benjamin Franklin and Ralph Waldo Emerson. Way to make your mark, Erik. It's not every man that has the guts to spew the same stuff that every high school valedictorian in the history of high school has said. Talk about the road less traveled, sport.
On an even less entertaining note, Bella's mom had also decided to show up for the graduation, with her new boyfriend, Phil, and Bella's not thrilled. Apparently her mom and Phil are staying at Charlie's house and Bella is getting tag-teamed by her parents.
Jasper and Alice and I stand in the woods watching the rest of the ceremony, wishing we could make a bunch of noise when Bella's name gets called, since that's how you measure high school popularity. There is some clapping, though, so it's not total cricket-chirping silence.
What was cool was that we actually came up with about 20 people that Bella did want to invite to our graduation party, people who had been nice to her in her time here.
The best moment actually came after the ceremony when Angela Weber told her dad that she was going to our party. The Reverend Weber had been adamant that Angela not have anything to do with the local pregnant teenager and he sputtered and turned red when his normally meek daughter told him that she was going whether he liked it or not. Jasper and Alice and I traded high-fives from our position in the forest and our estimation of Angela went way up.
We got out of there when the ceremony was over so we could get back to the house and help Esme finish setting up. Even Rosalie was helping out, although she was giving Jasper and I a hard time about which direction the streamers we put up were twisting. As if Martha Stewart was coming over and was going to notice that some were clockwise and others weren't.
At least we had gotten all of our human party issues settled before the big event. It seems we all had different ideas of what was appropriate for a graduation party, depending upon what time period we had died in and how much TV we watched in the ensuing decades. So Emmett wanted a keg, I had to be talked out of wearing a tuxedo and Jasper was told that no really appreciated a good jug band anymore. "I mean, how hard can it be to find a washboard?" he walked around saying for a few days.
Luckily Alice was able to cancel the order that Emmett made and we let him know that a woman jumping out of a cake was not what was generally done at high school graduation parties.
We get the streamers properly aligned just as guests start arriving. Bella looks so much prettier out of her robe despite the scowl she's wearing from listening to her parents all afternoon.
Even Phil, her mom's boyfriend, is getting tired of the ass-chewing Bella is getting and he wanders off to the den, which Emmett and Jasper have dubbed "The Bat Cave." They've got a flatscreen TV and a bunch of game systems in addition to all their sports memorabilia. I know Emmett's even got a Mark fucking McGuire autographed bat that he keeps up in his room. He keeps it under the bed with a bunch of stuff that I totally don't want to touch or even think about. I'm hoping he'll bring it out to show Phil so I can steal it and smash it.
Phil's a minor league ball player so we're able to sit around and talk baseball for a few minutes. I even manage to not punch Emmett in the throat when he mentions Dusty Baker being a great manager. Which he's not, by the way.
I have covered Baker's poor management of the Giants in the 2002 World Series and am starting to address his poor management of the Cubs in the 2003 World Series when Alice taps me on the arm.
Which is excellent timing because Phil is looking a little alarmed at the vehemence with which I discuss baseball and Emmett is getting ready to mention that the Cubs haven't won a World Series in 102 years and that can't all be Dusty Baker's fault.
Which would totally piss me off.
At first I think that Alice is interrupting me before I do something in a baseball-fan-frenzy like start yelling statistics or challenge Emmett to a duel but I realize that she's got something different in mind when she pulls me out to the patio.
"I don't want to explain right now but I want you to do something." She showed me in her head what she wanted and I looked at her in surprise. She nodded and I shrugged, making my way back into the house.
I find Bella talking to her parents in the living room. I could tell from her posture that it wasn't a comfortable conversation and as I tune into it I could hear her mom saying: "Honey, we just want what's best for you."
I walk over to them as Bella answers.
"I know you guys are worried but it's not like you guys didn't have me when you were teenagers. I turned out ok, right?"
"But Bella, we were married. You don't have any…" Chief Swan's words broke off as I slipped my arm around Bella's shoulders. I could feel her shudder slightly as that pulse of warmth I felt the last time I had touched her spread through me again. Either she felt it too or she was freaking out about my coldness. Oh, wait, that's right, she dug coldness. I am totally irresistible.
"You must be Renee," I extended my free hand to Bella's mom, whose jaw has dropped open at my sudden appearance. And my handsomeness, too. I read minds, remember?
Renee takes my hand and shakes it warmly but the Chief is less than pleased. Apparently, the fact that his daughter looks to be cozying up to what he thinks might be an acceptable boyfriend-choice kind of ruins his argument. If only I could reassure him of what a totally inappropriate choice I actually am. But that would be shooting myself in the foot, now wouldn't it? Metaphorically speaking, I mean. Literally shooting myself in the foot would only cause the bullet to ricochet around the room, potentially hurting people and really killing the vibe.
Bella just looks at me briefly and smiles while her dad chews on the edges of his cop mustache and mumbles: "Hello, Mr. Cullen." Charlie has always called me this, for reasons I have yet to figure out. I think he does it to be respectful or something, since we have encountered each other professionally.
"Edward, please," I say with a smile. He does something with his mouth that I think is supposed to be a smile.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Edward," Renee is actually kind of simpering at me. Which is a weird word in itself but at least someone here likes me.
"How are you doing?" I look down on Bella, rubbing her upper arm with my hand. She shivers and then gets a tiny frown on her face.
"You know, I am actually kind of hungry," she says. "Let's go get some of Esme's legendary spinach dip." She smiles at me pointedly and I could be wrong but I think I might be in trouble.
"Of course," I say and lead her into the kitchen. When she sees that it is unoccupied she pulls out of my grasp.
"What the hell was that? You realize that was a really bad time to play pretend in there, right?" I open and close my mouth a few times as she waits for me to respond. Kind of like a fish.
"I'm in there talking about how it's my decision to make and I'm a big girl and you walk up and start pretending to be interested in my pregnant ass and you know what it looks like?"
I shake my head "No."
"It looks like I'm just a Cullen charity case. Or like I've used some insta-family voodoo on you. Like I'm having this baby to trap the rich guy in town." Bella looks angry. Alice sucks.
"It's my fault," Alice's voice comes from the doorway. "I told Edward to do it and I didn't tell him what would happen." Bella looks over at Alice and sighs.
"Alice, you…" Bella sighs and shakes her head. "You better have someplace for me to stay tonight and a ton of chocolate cake because that shit wasn't cool. Charlie's all pissed off and my mom thinks Edward's gonna rescue me."
Alice smiles. "Edward, go show Bella her room." Bella looks at me sharply and I shrug my shoulders at her.
"Come on," I say, leading her out of the kitchen. I take her up to show her the room, my ex-room, which Esme and Alice have fixed up for her.
I have been relegated to Alice's former sewing room down the hall but my new "room", and by room I mean closet, doesn't have enough space for my books and all my music so they've just moved my couch and desk in there, along with my journals, which contain the scintillating details of my 100 plus years of ennui. Emmett calls it "100 years of loserdom." They've also moved some of my clothes and some of my more adolescent books. Also my complete collection of "Yes" records and the picture of me at Edgar Allen Poe's graveyard in the 1970's. I just don't want Bella to get the wrong idea about me. You know, that I'm like a dork or something.
Bella looks around the room, gasping. "This is so beautiful!" I am pleased to see her so happy and hope that she decides to stay, as Alice predicted. Bella's eyes stop at the shelves of records and my excellent stereo that I am happy to sacrifice for her comfort.
"Edward, was this your room?" she asks me, suspiciously. I nod, quickly adding: "Seriously, Bella, I don't even need it. I moved to a room down the hall. It's totally big enough." Yeah, big enough for a cat carrier, but I leave that part out.
"So that was your bed?" Bella points to the bed that Esme and Rosalie ordered for her. It is surprisingly girly, with these big iron roses.
"Of course not," I shake my head. "What would I do with a bed?" I laugh and then I realize that Bella's eyes have glazed over and she doesn't seem to be really with me.
"Hey, are you ok?" I wave my hand in front of her eyes. She shakes her head and blushes. "Sorry," she says. "Pregnancy hormones and all. We should get back to the party." Bella walks out the door, leaving me to decipher her statement. Pregnancy hormones? I'd never heard of them making you inattentive. I figured I'd have to google it.
The rest of the party goes pretty smoothly after Bella lets her parents know that she's spending the night here and Renee gives me a knowing look and Chief Swan just looks resigned.
Jasper and I go out hunting since being we couldn't go earlier and being stuck in a house full of dinner all day was sort of hard. Hard on Jasper, I mean. I have perfect control. Even with Bella staying in the house.
Jasper and I arrive back at the house to see Bella sitting on the front porch in the dark. We see her long before she sees us and it gives me a chance to examine her expression. And her, uh, nightgown? It had to be Alice's doing, the things I saw Bella wear when I was stalking her in her own home were much more demure. What she was wearing was…not. I covered up Jasper's eyes.
"What the fuck?" Jasper pushed my hands away. 'What are you doing?"
"Just because your wife has apparently discovered maternity porn or something doesn't mean you should see Bella like that." I am trying to block Jasper's vision with my body but it's making us trip over each other.
"Like you should? It's not like you're an item or anything?" To his credit, Jasper isn't even trying to see her, he's just trying to walk in a straight line without me blocking him.
"I'm being respectful!" I hiss, maneuvering my body so I continue to block his view of her. At this point we're making so much noise that she's noticed our approach, as has the rest of the house and she pulls her robe tighter over her chest.
"Evening, Bella," Jasper says as he goes into the house and I pause in front of where she's sitting.
"Mind if I join you?" I ask, gesturing to the chair next to her. She nods.
"Why are you up so late?" I ask, noticing that she has a half empty cup of tea next to her. She sighs.
"I just couldn't sleep. It was a stressful day." She is still looking out into the forest thoughtfully.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, since I am apparently really sensitive and understanding. As well as hoping that her robe will slip open again.
"It's just this stuff with my parents. And the worst part of it is, I totally get where they're coming from. It makes no sense for me to have a baby at 18. I've always thought of myself as the last girl that would get knocked-up in high school."
"You didn't know me before, Edward, but I was really smart and focused and not…not like this!" She gestures to her stomach. "I don't mean not pregnant but just not that kind of girl." She lets out a huff of frustration. "I don't know how to explain it without it sounding crazy." She continues to stare out into the woods, frowning.
"I can read minds and I've been around for a hundred years. Do you really think that your reasons for having this baby are going to sound unusual to me?" She lets out a laugh. "Seriously, I've heard some crazy shit. Have you ever been to one of those Star Trek conventions? I have and it was an eye-opener, let me tell you." She laughs again and this time she looks at me.
"Ok, but I haven't told anyone this. You have to promise not to tell anyone."
"Got it," I hold up my hand in the Boy Scout three-finger oath. She looks at me oddly for a second and then takes a deep breath.
"So I got pregnant on accident. I'd only had sex like twice and I got pregnant on accident. Worst luck, right?" I nod and gesture for her to continue.
"I don't even know what compelled me to sleep with this guy except, I don't know, it was really stupid. I shouldn't have. How was I supposed to know the guy couldn't even use a condom right or anything? So I find out I'm pregnant and I make this appointment to…get rid of it? I mean, I gave this huge persuasive speech on a woman's right to choose in my junior year. How's that for irony?" She shakes her head in annoyance. "So the night before I have this dream. But it feels really real and there's this little boy in it. And I know, I just know, that he's my baby. When I wake up, I just can't go through with it. I met my baby and I don't want to give him up."
"Crazy, huh? I'm like the least superstitious person in the world. I mean, my Mom loves that stuff, you know past lives and auras and shit. But I've always been totally logical." She smiles at me. "So then I move here, because my Mom goes totally apeshit when she hears I'm pregnant and I meet a bunch of vampires and werewolves. Funny, huh?" She looks like she's about to cry. Shit. Crying woman are totally not in my skill set. I am fucked. And yet I want so badly to be able to comfort her.
I reach over to her and stroke her arm lightly. At which point she bursts into tears. Full-on wet, heartbreaking tears. I scoot my chair closer and slip both my arms around loosely, muttering stuff like: "It's ok, Bella," and "There, there." Whatever the fuck that means. There, there? I am an idiot.
But I'm not going to lie to you. It is nice being able to touch her. Even if she weren't wearing some indecent pregnant woman thing that my sister is going to get major thank-yous for. It's also nice that she likes me enough to come to me for support.
The water works peter out and she wipes her face on the sleeve of her robe. I'm still holding onto her awkwardly across the distance between our two chairs but she pushes against me lightly and I reluctantly let her go.
"I'm sorry, I just am having a hard time today," she mutters, looking down into her lap, clearly embarrassed.
"Bella, don't apologize. I…" she cuts me off right as I'm about to tell her, I don't know, something about how I worship her or something.
"It's just that I just graduated from high school and I'm having a freaking baby in less than a month and I don't even have a boyfriend or even a place to live after pissing my dad off today." She throws her hands up in frustration. I think about volunteering for the "boyfriend" thing but it feels a little predatory after she's been crying so I try to address the other issue.
"Bella, I don't know if you realized that Esme and Rose bought a distinctly girly bed for my old room." She sniffs and looks at me with a frown.
"Yeah?" She shrugs her shoulders at me.
"They want you to move in with us. Alice predicted that you would almost a month ago." Bella mumbles something like "fucking living Ouji board" and then takes a deep breath.
"It seems like a little bit much, Edward. Not that your family hasn't been really sweet to me but I don't think I could impose." I shake my head at her.
"Don't be ridiculous. They want access to your baby. Those two are total baby whores, they would do anything to be around for this." I gesture to her stomach. She frowns at me. "Not that they don't like you," I hasten to add. "But they really want to be around your baby." Bella gets a really small, really tired smile on her face.
"I guess I could, for a while. It'd be nice to have the help." I try to keep my enthusiasm off of my face.
"Excellent," I say, getting up and extending my hand for her. "Now, you need to get to sleep." I pulled her out the chair and made sure she was steady on her feet. She was looking at me with something I could decipher, maybe confusion? I raised an eyebrow at her.
"What?" I ask, looking at her deep brown eyes as they examine me. She shook her head and laughed lightly.
"You got deer or something right there," she answered, brushing her hand across the side of my forehead.
Great. I'm thinking she's looking longingly into my eyes and really I just have food on my face.
a/n: Thanks to EverlastingMuse for betaing this. Also, thank you to the people out there pimping this thing! Ltlerthqak gave me a lovely rec in Giofogach and WriteOnTime continues to try to convince people I'm cool. Good luck with that.
I'm (cluelessly) on Twitter now so if you tell me your name I can harass you with my awkward tweets. Or you can just tell me how to use it.
What's cool is that my oldest and most obscure fic, "Edward Masen's 1918 Chicago Blues" has been nominated for a Vampie in the AU category. Which is awesome except that I'm up against some of my favorite stories so I'm not even sure I'm going to vote for myself! But you can check out some cool stories at http: / bit (dot) ly/h4HnsV and then vote for Cauchemar Vivant and Sins of the Piano Man. Thanks! JuJu