Ah, cooking.
It was and always will be one of Dent's favorite past times when he was bored. He could never understand why some hated it so much. Cooking was a grand and necessary essential to life. And really, he couldn't stomach the lists of reasons those people came up with. Burning a finger was a great pain, overheating a pot of water was what he did on his first try, somehow blowing up a dishwasher in your boyfriend's face and getting arrested for arson…well, he supposed he could understand taking a break from the kitchen for a few hours.
But, what he loved the most were the utensils used for cooking.
They were simply a work of art. Clearly done by people who had very exuberant and well-thought out tastes for the true meaning of what the skillful hobby entailed. It was only proven as he heard the minimal clanks forming a soft melody of his serving spoon against the side of the pot. The happy chatters of Ash and Iris behind him didn't falter his arm when he lifted it up to sample the liquid. It was finally ready!
"It's dining time!"
The two younger children behind him finally paused their chatter as Dent lowered three bowls of hot soup onto their makeshift table, clearly hungry. This time, he had used a few of Pansage's herbs on the top of his head in a recipe which assured all of them would recover their full strength. They needed it after narrowly escaping Purrloin and Team Rocket the other day. It was strange but no one ever thought that any of them could just squeeze through the bars, so they spent a good day or two starving to death until Ash accidentally tripped on Pikachu in his hunger-induced rage and fell right through them. Apparently the two other men had ordered an adult-sized cage.
Ash was still grumpy about it. "Thanks."
On contrary, Iris was in a good mood. "Yeah, thanks!" And dug into her meal readily.
"Um, Dento? Can I ask you something?" He looked at Ash with a questioning smile. It was strange seeing the boy's meal untouched as Iris ignored the both of them and was nearly halfway done. "This will help make me taller, ri-"
"Oops!" Iris stopped in the middle of her episode of attacking the plate when she felt the warm metal of her spoon fling out of her grasp. As much as Dent didn't like to brag, he had the reflexes of a fast and fabulous Connoisseur: quite possibly the best in the world. So as his one green eye landed on the scene before him, he was already up from the table and diving at the shiny utensil, a state of panic coursing through his veins.
"Dento, look out for-!" Ash yelled out as if it would help. Dent's hands wrapped around the spoon at the same time his head shoved itself against the table behind them. Just like a domino, the giant pot of cooling soup above him tilted, spilling all its contents over the poor Connoisseur's body.
Iris was by his side in a blink. "Sorry, Dent! I guess that was my fau-"
"Eeee-AAAAAHHH! It's BURNING!" And the poor boy proceeded to run in blind circles. They both stared at him until Ash's eyes widened.
"Watch out for that-!" He stopped at the sound of a panicked Connoisseur colliding a tree nearby and recoiling back.
"Ah, and be careful of-!" Before tripping on a rock.
"Um, and the-" And stumbling into the lake. Ash ran a hand down his face. "Oh forget it…"
"Now that," Iris pointed to the stream, "was not my fault."
TTTTTTTT
Dent was never more grateful in his life that Ash had an Oshawott on hand.
Back when he fell into lakes as a young child, Pod would throw his Pansear into the water without thinking all the while screaming something about rescuing his awesome little bro. This was always followed by him having to dive in himself after realizing that oops, fire was weak against water and oops, he couldn't swim any better than his fire monkey. While this was happening, Corn would stand on the excuse that he left his Panpour at home because Commoner lakes were too dirty for him. Pansage always ended up having to rescue all three of them, which still took quite a few hours seeing as he couldn't tread waters very well either.
He fell into lakes a lot.
"Dento, are you okay?" Ash asked him in concern right after recalling Oshawott into his pokéball and thanking him.
Said man sighed but smiled back. "It was a relatively calm lake so-" His hair fell haphazardly over his face and he lifted it back up trying not to look annoyed. "…I should be fine."
"Ah, that's good!"
Both males turned to Iris.
"…what are you two staring at?" She snapped and turned away from them in a huff. Grabbing an apple off a tree behind her, she continued. "I already apologized for dropping the dumb spoon!"
Dent froze.
Her words finally processed in his mind, and he proceeded to hyperventilate until fainting.
"W-Wait! What happened to it?" He choked out between gasps, his legs twitching.
"You mean the spoon? Well you were holding onto it when you fell in and-"
Dent ignored Ash, unable to control his body as he turned to Iris in horror. "Y-You…" He couldn't believe it! After over twelve years of priming and treating it as if it were his own child, the very first spoon he used when he was born and ate his first bite of bad-smelling Audino baby food as he sat in his pansage-shaped high chair decorated with stickers of food; it was gone. What a bitter and unappealing taste. "F…Florence is GONE!"
"Who's Florence?" The dense Ash asked densely.
They ignored him again. "You name your spoons?" The purple-haired girl narrowed her eyes.
"I can't believe she's gone!" Dent cradled his head as if it would explode. "Oh, this is such an intolerable situation! WHAT KIND OF CONNOISSEUR AM I FOR LOSING HER?"
Iris bit into her apple. "…an intolerable one."
At this, Dent directed a blank gaze to her. "You know, Airisu. A real lady would take care of her silverware and not drop them onto the floor so clumsily."
"Uh…guys?"
"I AM a real lady!" Iris spat out the words, mouth full and chunks of apple flying out.
"You can say what you want, Iris. But denial is a very unfitting taste on you."
"That's IT!" She threw her fruit against a tree across the field, effectively scaring a passing Galvantula. "Why do you always have to overreact to everything all the time? If anything, it's you who's in denial for freaking out so much over a stupid spoon! What a kid!" Without another glance, she stomped off into the forest.
Ash and Pikachu side-stepped Iris in fear, but the up-coming trainer still spared her an apprehensive stutter. "Um, Iris. There's-" But he stopped when she only gave him a passing glance and continued on her way. Ash frowned.
Dent came up behind him, bringing his attention back when he clasped a casual hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "Sorry, Satoshi…that was a very unnecessary scene for you to see. Now, what was it you were asking?"
Ash glanced over his shoulder at Dent's forlorn eyes hidden behind a smile, and it only took one second for him to choose his next words.
"No, nevermind."
TTTTTTTT
"…Dento. Are you going to…?" Ash had just gotten out of bed, but seemed wide awake. Dent was doing what he always did when he was bored. He was cooking.
"Yes, Satoshi. Did you want breakfast?"
"No. I'm not hungry." As those words left Ash's lips, Pikachu could've sworn a Munchlax died somewhere in the world. "But Iris hasn't been back since yesterday. Shouldn't we go find her?"
The other male set his pan down, sighing in slight guilt. When he awoke first this morning as usual and couldn't spot her sleeping bag anywhere, he was already driven into an internal state of panic which somehow made him look completely calm on the outside. But…he really shouldn't feel too concerned for her health and abilities. Iris was used to living in forests. She could always find food and she seemed alright travelling on her own up until whenever she started following Ash around. And eating his cooking for the past month or so didn't wane that skill in the bit.
He shouldn't worry about her.
Then again. What if a giant Pokémon attacked her? She always had Excadrill.
Then then again. What if a giant ice type Pokémon attacked her? She could always run away.
Then then then again. What if a giant ice type Pokémon as sinister as Purrloin attacked her?
In a moment, Dent was on his feet and facing Ash with a determined demeanor. "You're right, Satoshi. We better go find Airisu and see if she's alrig-" But was interrupted in the middle of his heroic speech when said girl appeared before them, seemingly jumping down from some high place around them. Dent was startled into falling on his bottom.
"Hey, guys! Check out what I found in the forest!"
Dent looked up, and proceeded to hyperventilate until fainting for the second time. "Wh-Why is that here?"
"He's our new friend!" Iris beamed proudly at the thing in her arms, petting it fondly. "Isn't that right, Purrloin?"
"Puurr!"
He looked at her in disbelief. Didn't what just happened a few days ago teach her anything about that Pokémon? "B-B-B-B-B-B-B-But Airisu…you k-k-know I'm uncomfort-t-table around Purrloins…"
"So?"
"…Wow, Iris. You're in a good mood." Ash was in a slight state of shock himself, but it didn't stop his quiet observation. Shouldn't she be storming around the campsite and flailing her arms at anyone who wouldn't get out of her way?
"Why wouldn't I be?" She sent Ash a wide smile before turning around. "I'm going to go train Axew now. Call me when breakfast is ready!"
Dent finally recovered from his state well enough to form coherent words. "Uhm, A-Airisu? Do you want me to watch your training, you know, as a gym leader?"
"No thanks." And she made her leave, Purrloin and Axew in tow.
Ash's eyebrow shot up and he scratched his head in confusion. "But…doesn't she always want you to watch her training? Dento?" He turned to the unresponsive teen who was currently sulking over his cooking pot. "…Deeeeeeento?"
Even for an A class Connoisseur such as himself, it was difficult to suppress his negative emotions behind that wall of confidence he usually had. This was different from that time when Iris and Ash accidentally dropped a leaf into his stew, or when he found out he had to work at Burger King for the week because the Striaton Gym would be closed for some prestigious party. It was very different. Despite that, Dent did what he always did when he was depressed those other times. He turned to his collection of spoons and smiled weakly at them.
"Well…at least I still have you guys."
"What do you mean by that?"
Dent almost fell out of his chair. "J-Jacklin, did you just talk?" Jacklin was his fifth spoon he received at his Uncle's funeral. A lady with a giant mole dropped it on the ground.
"No, she didn't. That's why she's talking to you."
"Karen, you can speak too!"
Jacklin sighed in the way spoons could sigh. "Nevermind that. But it looks like you got dumped by your girlfriend."
Huh? Did he miss something?
"I-I'm sorry." He could feel a slight tingle run up his spine, somehow making what he was going to say harder. "But Airisu is not my-"
It was then another voice joined in. "And who can blame her?" Dent brought his gaze up to see that it was his cloche speaking these painful words. "He can barely keep our coats clean and yet we expect him to be able to treat a lady right?"
"W-Wait a second, Dento Junior. What do you mean by that? I shine all of you perfectly well every-"
"Yeah? Then why do I have this giant splotch on my handle?"
"OH MY-I'm so sorry, Matthew! I promise from now on to-"
Dent stopped when he felt someone breathing into his ear and Ash's ringing voice. "It's too late now…" And jumped back 10 feet just to see him and Iris staring towards his confused body with smirks on their faces. Well, this was out of character…
"We've decided to travel without you." Ash said blandly, but what alarmed Dent was when he bent down towards the table and grabbed every one of his silverware he was just conversing with. "And Jacklin, Karen, Matthew, and Dent Junior all agreed."
His first instinct was to yell "it's Dento Junior, Satoshi! Don't mispronounce it if you're going to take on such a scary taste!" but Dent gently knocked his head to rid his brilliant mind from those thoughts. Then, he chuckled slightly and closed his eyes. 'T-This is all a dream, isn't it?'
"You aren't suitable to come with us, kid!"
Dent flinched, but kept focusing on his quickly dwindling laughter. 'A dream, right. When I open my eyes, I should be able to wake up…' And slowly but anxiously, his two emerald colored pupils found their way from under his eye lids.
Just to see Purrloin a centimeter away from his face.
And lick his nose.
TTTTTTTT
"EEEEEEEyeeeeeEEEEEHHHHhh! NOT AGAIN!"
"Dento! Wake up…hey!" He opened his eyes to a voice which was not Purrloin, sparkling tears brimming on the edge of his eyelids. When he saw who it was, he immediately jumped at them with arms spread out in a forceful hug.
"H-Hey, what are you doing?"
"Airisu! Please, I am BEGGING you! Frame your Purrloin at least 20 -no, 500 and possibly an extra 60 feet away from me!" He only tightened his embrace around her flustered figure.
"Huh?"
"You and Satoshi and Jacklin and Karen and Matthew and Dento Junior can all leave without me! Just please keep him away as well!" He didn't want to be left behind, but if that's what his two friends really wanted, then he would accept it for them.
"Dento, I think you just had a bad dream. There's no Purrloin." Ash, clad in his pajamas, was watching the scene from a few feet away.
"Pika…chu…"
"Oh?" Finally pulling himself away from Iris, he took in his surroundings, realizing how it was still night. Then, playing the events of the day in his head, he turned back to the girl and asked hopefully. "…all of it?"
Obviously still shocked, Iris huffed at him. "Yes, you kid! And your screaming woke all of us up!"
Dent visibly deflated.
Iris calmed down enough to look at him worriedly. "Dento, what's wr-"
She was interrupted as he broke out into light chuckles. "…Kid, hm? Not all of it, Airisu."
"Are you drunk or something?" Iris made a move to rant on about how annoying he was being, but was stopped once more when she felt his arms around her for the second time in the past five minutes. She tensed further when his breath hit her ear and he whispered the words she had been denying she wanted to hear since this morning.
"I'm sorry, Airisu…Florence means nothing in comparison to you."
Utensils were a work of art. Cooking was an essential for life. But he would never pick them over her. Did she really not trust him that much? Or did she just want to hear him say it?
It was when she started feeling a warm shiver run down her body that Iris finally called this whole thing impossible and pushed him away embarrassedly. "F-Fine." She mumbled between her sudden quickened heartbeats.
"Hm?"
She looked down. "I'm sorry too. We both overreacted."
And Dent felt happier than he ever did, maybe better, since this morning. "Thank you, Airisu."
"Whatever. You're such a pain…"
Watching from his spot by the dead campfire, Ash let out a smile in relief. "Finally…" he whispered to himself. Deciding that it was enough, he sighed and mentally prepared himself before slowly walking up to the two who were still engrossed in a comfortable silence.
"Um, guys?" He held a hand behind his head when both of their attention was on him. Then, fished a spoon out of his pocket. "After Oshawott saved you, Dento, he found this spoon wedged between two rocks further downstream and gave it to me. Good thing, huh?"
"…"
TTTTTTTT
Yes, these stories are so crack-induced.