"Forget it Jake, It's Chinatown"
So, I have this list of things that I have to talk to Bella about:
1) The fact that I watched her through her bedroom window at night for several months.
2) The fact that, if the Volturi find out about her, we'll all be in big trouble.
3) The temptation that I have to track down Thomas's father and kill him.
I have my list written on a spreadsheet on my computer since the whiteboard seems a bit indiscreet. It's color-coded, and I have spaces to fill in when I talk about each item so I can have that sense of achievement you get by checking something off your "to-do" list.
In the meantime, I have a shorter and somewhat more pressing list of things I have to do before tomorrow night's date.
1) Figure out an appropriate date activity for a new human mom and her vampire date.
2) Find whoever talked to Bella and thank them profusely.
3) Get totally anxious about my apparent lack of wooing skills.
4) Think about all the physical contact I want to have with Bella and then get totally frustrated because I'm inexperienced and a vampire and I'm convinced it's never going to work.
The tenor of this particular list started to go downhill fast, so I abandoned it and went online and ordered flowers. Which was apparently the right thing to do, because I immediately got a call from Alice.
"Nice job. She'll love them." Alice reassured me.
"Are you sure? I was going to get a bigger arrangement, but…"
"No, that one would be too much. It'd be annoying. So, there's a theatre showing 'Chinatown' in Port Angeles tomorrow night at 6 pm. You could get dinner afterwards at Bella Italia or you could get Chinese and eat it back here. I could set up a table on the porch for you guys and kick the vampires out so you could have some privacy."
"What's the better choice, Alice?" I'm not even gonna pretend to trust my own judgment on this one.
"Mu Shu Pork out on the patio. A lot more privacy, and Bella won't be as anxious about Thomas. We'll go hunting."
"Thank you, Alice. I owe you." A thought occurs to me. "Are you the one who talked to Bella?" Alice laughs.
"No, that one was all Tanya. You should thank her."
"Yeah, I will." This almost makes up for that time she took me to that party in San Francisco in 1978. Almost.
Things are strangely quiet when I get home. The cousins have gone to spend the night in Seattle with Alice so she can take them shopping, and Carlisle's still at work. I find Bella with Thomas in her room. The room formerly known as "my room."
"Hey," she says, smiling at me sweetly. I try to keep my eyes averted in case she's nursing or some shit, but then I realize she's not. She's just talking with him quietly and playing with his hands.
"What are you telling him?" I take a seat on the couch.
"I was just, uh, telling him about his family. I read this thing that said that talking to babies is really important. Something about their language acquisition."
"So you're telling him about Charlie and Renee and stuff?" I ask, in my best passive-aggressive fashion. Yeah, Bella, tell me about Thomas's family. Please.
"Well, Charlie and Renee and you guys," she says. "I hope that's not too presumptuous."
"Hello? Marriage proposals?" I hold up my left hand and point at my ring finger. "How could you be overstepping after my two marriage proposals?"
"But those weren't real," she says, her voice dropping lower when she notices that Thomas is falling asleep.
"How do you know they weren't real?" I whisper at her. "Do you think I'm just trying to get the tax deduction?"
"I think you were trying to be a gentleman, trying to take care of Thomas and I," she whispers back at me, blushing. I shake my head at her.
"You don't get that I…" I am trying to think of a good verb to use. "Worship" seems a little over-the-top. "…like you, do you?" She shakes her head this time.
"I know you think you like me, but you don't really know me that well, Edward."
I am about to rebut her argument with evidence gleaned from many evenings of stalking, but I am saved from my own stupidity by Esme coming in.
"Bella, honey, I made you some dinner. Let me hold Thomas for you." Bella hands the baby over with a smile and tells us she's going to go clean up for dinner.
I wander downstairs and out onto the patio where my siblings are sitting. They do that sudden silence thing where you can tell that they were talking about me.
"What?" I say, looking around at their faces. Emmett and Rose argue with their eyes for a second while Jasper looks at the ground.
"We were just thinking that 'Chinatown' might not be a good choice for a first date," Emmett finally spits out.
"Emmett thinks that it's not a good idea. I don't see the problem." Rose flips her hair over her shoulder. "I mean, it's one of your favorites and you want her to get to know you, right?" I nod.
"It's just so depressing and that ending and the incest…" Emmett trails off.
"I think it's an amazing homage to film noir. Didn't it win an Academy Award?" Jasper asks.
"Yeah, Best Screenplay. It lost Best Picture to 'The Godfather II'. Eleven nominations, though." I tell him. "Plus, Bella likes Jack Nicholson. She and Alice were watching "The Shining' and she said she thought he was a good actor."
"So rent 'As Good As It Gets'! I just think it's such a depressing movie for a first date."
"Ugh, 'The Shining'. That was a scary-ass movie." Jasper shudders.
"I know, right?" Rosalie's eyes get wide. "When those two little girls show up in the hallway?" Jasper nods emphatically.
"Can we get on topic here?" Emmett says. "I'm trying to save Eddie from making a big mistake! He got Best Actor for 'As Good As It Gets.' It's totally first-date appropriate."
"Who do you think will remind her of Edward more?" Rosalie asks Jasper. "The gay artist or the guy with OCD?" Jasper laughs.
"Probably the dog." He and Rosalie laugh as Emmett and I glare at them.
"What's so funny?" Carlisle steps out onto the patio.
"Edward wants to take Bella to see 'Chinatown,'" Emmett tells him, like he's tattling on me. Carlisle grimaces.
"Roman Polanski, huh? You're not worried about the whole sexually assaulting a teenager thing?"
"That was after he made 'Chinatown.'"
"Wait, what about making me get rid of my Cat Stevens CDs after he endorsed the fatwa on Salman Rushdie? You're such a hypocrite!" Jasper's the one upset this time.
"That was an excuse. I told you that because Cat Stevens sucks."
"I liked the 'Harold and Maude' soundtrack," Rosalie says, thoughtfully.
"Anyway, it was Alice's idea to go see 'Chinatown.'" I turn to Rose. "And that soundtrack's good the first time but it gets seriously annoying after that." She shrugs her shoulders.
"Alice told you to take her to go see it?" Emmett looks at me skeptically. I nod.
"Have any of you ever been on a date?" I look around at the circle of my family. "Because, seriously, I am getting a lot of advice from some people who found their life partners in morgues and stuff. No offense, Carlisle."
Carlisle smiles. "None taken. Esme must have dated her first husband. You could talk to her."
"What about me?" Emmett says. Rose huffs at him and rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, getting drunk and kissing your cousin after the big harvest doesn't count."
"Yeah, and your experience was so much better? I seem to recall…" I see what Emmett's about to say and I know I have to stop him. I grab one of the wrought iron patio chairs and, yelling, "What's that?" and pointing up into the sky, I bash him in the knees.
"Goddamnit! What was that for Edward?" I take off into the woods and Emmett follows me, fuming, pulling mangled bits of chair off his shins.
Running ahead of him, I yell, "You realize how stupid what you were about to say was? You're really going to comment on her fiancé assaulting her?" Emmett slows down as he realizes that I just saved him a ton of marital grief.
"Oh, yeah, that would have been bad. Thanks, bro." I slow down to let him catch up with me and he slaps me on the shoulder. "You really saved my bacon there."
"Yeah, no problem. It's kinda lame to have to repair the house after you guys fight. Plus, I can tell you're just trying to help me with Bella. Even if you're completely wrong and ridiculously misguided."
"Yeah, I want her to get to know you, but maybe just the cool parts first? Then, once she loves you back you can let her know what a maladjusted, emo loser you are."
"Thanks, Em,"
So the next night I decide to do the traditional date thing and knock on the front door, instead of just her/my bedroom door. Call me old-fashioned.
Bella looks lovely and she thanks me for the flowers, which were delivered while I was at work. We get in the Volvo and start to drive to Port Angeles. I'm pretty pleased with myself that I don't need to have the windows rolled down.
"Have you given any more thought to going back to school? You know that my family would be thrilled to take care of Thomas while you're in class." Charlie has been mentioning it every time he comes over to see them.
"Yeah, I think that I will, but I'll probably wait until the spring. I don't think that I want to be away from Thomas all day until then." I nod, all the while working out the logistics. If she is in school surrounded by human boys all day, what if she decides she likes guys with pulses? What about when she wants to get her Bachelor's Degree? She can only take her lower division stuff in Port Angeles at the Community College, she'll have to move farther away eventually. What then?
I figure it would be an easy sell to get my family to move closer to wherever she goes, but how cool is she gonna think it if I am following her to all her classes? Which reminds me that I haven't mentioned my nocturnal observation habits to her yet.
"Edward?" She touches my arm. "Are you ok?" I look at her and realize that I was totally sitting there mind-fucking myself. While on a date with Bella. I'm doing something that I've wanted to do forever and I'm spending the time being a neurotic freak.
"Yeah, I was just thinking about some stuff. Sorry." I smile at her. I spend the rest of the drive telling her about the movie we are about to see. Minus the parts about the director liking teenage girls.
Bella actually really likes "Chinatown", although she admits that the ending is kind of depressing. Which leads to a good conversation about what I love about film noir; the idea that even some of the worst-seeming characters can do something to redeem themselves. I think it bodes well for me.
She even let me hold her hand for the second half of the movie.
We arrive back to a relatively quiet house.
"Where is everyone?" she asks. I listen for a minute.
"Esme and Carlisle are upstairs watching Thomas, and everyone else has gone out for a few hours. There's dinner on the patio for you."
"What about…" I interrupt her.
"Esme will come get you if Thomas needs you." She nods, and I lead her out to the patio. My sister - my favorite, brilliant, perfect sister - has outdone herself. The patio is lit with candles and dinner is set out for Bella. She must have timed it perfectly, because the food is even still warm.
"So I have to ask, what did Tanya tell you that made you, you know, do…"
"Flirt with you awkwardly?" I nod. Bella bites her lip and fidgets with her food.
"She told me that she's been trying to get into your coffin for, like, sixty years and that I should, um, stop being stupid." I laugh.
"I have to admit to being a little preoccupied lately," she continued. "And you're, you know, gorgeous and immortal and stuff. Why would I assume that you were interested in me?"
"I showed up at prom and threatened your date." I look at her with my eyebrow raised.
"He was being a pig. You're a gentleman."
"Not really," I say, before I can stop myself. She laughs and takes another bite of her chow mein.
"Anyway, you can hardly blame me for being skeptical. I'm a teenage mother. I'm quiet and plain and come with stretch marks and I can't date without a babysitter. I'm not really the best catch." She smiles at me ruefully.
"You're beautiful and brave and smart and I love Thomas almost as much as I love you." There. It slipped out. She's frozen with her chop sticks mid-air. I desperately tried to think of a way to stuff the words back into my mouth or pretend I was quoting movie dialogue or had been temporarily possessed. No dice.
"I…uh…I'm…" Bella's mouth opened and closed several times in surprise. I decided that I had committed to this course of action and that I would follow it through to the bitter end.
"I know you think it's because I don't know you that well, but I actually know you quite a bit better than you think. Do you remember when you first moved here and we saw each other in front of the bookstore?" She nodded. 'Well, Emmett and Jasper had to come get me, because Alice saw me biting you, you know, drinking your blood." She nods again.
"You're what they call a 'singer'. It means your blood smells way better to me than anyone else's. So we decided that we had to keep track of you, you know, so I wouldn't encounter you on accident and eat you, and the more I learned about you, you know, from our surveillance, the more I liked you." Bella was just kind of frozen there, with a look I would describe as shocked, horrified, confused chagrin.
Fuck it, I figure as long as I've shot myself in the foot I might as well cut said foot off and set it on fire, too.
"Then I started keeping an eye on you at night, you know, hanging around outside your bedroom window."
"We also stole some of your sweaters. So I could get used to your scent."
"Which totally doesn't bother me anymore. In fact, I quite like the way you smell. And everything else about you."
The longer she's quiet, the more I seem to say.
"I know I'm making you uncomfortable but I don't seem to be able to stop talking and I'll just, uh, I'll just go away because I probably seem even creepier than I already did, you know, being an old-ass vampire and everything."
She holds up her hand and takes a deep breath. After a moment she speaks. A long moment.
"That's a lot to take in, Edward, I'm sorry I, uh, I just need to…" She puts her fork down and gets up. "I had a really nice time, but I'm having a little trouble with some of…I need some time to think about…You watched me through my bedroom window?" Her voice gets louder and she's mad. Like, really mad.
"Yeah. I'm sorry, No, wait. I'm not sorry about that." I get up to face her, because I figure this might be my last chance to explain to her who I am. "I mean, I am sorry because it was wrong to violate your privacy like that and you're clearly a very private person. But, I'm not sorry because I fell in love with you and I'm 110 years old and I've been frozen in this lonely teenager's body for like 90 years. You have no concept of what it's like to feel unchanging and alone. And my family are all mated and happy and in love and I just sit there with my books and movies and 1950's jazz. And then this pregnant teenager shows up and she terrifies and fascinates me and the more I get to know her the more I realize that maybe I don't have to be like that anymore."
Bella is frozen, watching me. I sigh and slump back down into my chair.
"So I don't expect you to love me back and I understand that you're angry and I know that this is a lot to ask but I have never asked for anything, never wanted anything for myself. And I want this. I just want to take care of you and Thomas. You two make me feel like there was some point to this whole long-ass meaningless existence. You make me feel. Period. Do you think you could let me take care of you guys and just pretend you don't think I'm a total creep? For just a little while longer?"
I stop talking and just watch her. She's got a different set of emotions running across her face and I'm certainly hoping that one of them is pity.
Then she takes a step closer.
"I'm still angry that you were watching outside my window. That's pretty unnerving." I start to talk but she holds up her hand again.
"Let me finish, OK?" I nod. "You're right, I'm not in love with you. You've had a little bit of a jump on me, you know?" She smiles, and I manage to pull my face into something that I hope looks like a smile. "I am still getting accustomed to the fact that you even look at me that way. I'm going to need some time to get used to this." I nod, because she's not saying she's leaving. That's good news, right?
"If we're going to do this you need to be honest with me, and no more weird stalking shit, right?" I nod. She said "do this"! Does that mean she's staying? I open my mouth to ask but she raises her hand again.
"You need to let me get to know you and we need to talk about some stuff, right? Like Thomas's dad and, uh, vampire stuff." She gestures to me as she says this and a blush appears on her cheeks.
"What kind of vampire stuff?" I ask with a smile. I have a feeling I know where she's headed, but I want her to say it.
"I, uh, I don't really want to be in a relationship with someone that I can't, you know, be intimate with." Her face is in full-on flames now and I stifle a laugh. I am less successful at stifling the other reactions my body is having to this conversation.
"Bella, I don't know how it works with a vampire and a human." She nods at me, wide-eyed. "But I think that, if you're willing to do a little research, we can figure it out." I may not be the smoothest undead creature in the world, but I can tell I got to her with that. I can hear her pulse speed up and her eyes get a little distant.
"You know, when you're less mad at me and all," I say, nonchalantly. She blinks at me and then smiles.
"You know, this was a pretty awful first date." She takes another step towards me.
"Yeah, I've never done this before, and Alice didn't warn me about my attack of hideous honesty." I run my fingers through my hair and stand up. I should probably walk her back to her/my door or something.
"Bad first dates really should not end in a kiss." She is still smiling at me, and she moves closer. She is doing that thing that she does when she's trying to flirt. It's pretty cute, but seems misplaced right now.
"Oh, God, no. I should actually get slapped or something, but I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Still, I think we should try. You know, for research purposes." I suddenly realize what she's saying, as improbable as it is. She wants me to kiss her. I'm not even thinking about saying no.
She steps to within arm's reach and I put my hands on her shoulders to gently pull her closer. She's standing in front of me with her face tilted up, and I think that maybe I should have done a little more research before this particular bit of research so I don't mess this up. But there's no time and I'm going to have to wing it.
"Hold still, OK?" I don't think I'm going to have any trouble with the smell of her blood, but I figure this will be easier if I'm not trying to hit a moving target. She nods and waits for me to move.
I take her chin in my hand and lean down and slowly, slower than I've ever moved, press my lips against hers. She's so soft and warm and after a few seconds she moves her lips slightly against mine and if I could die I would think I had and gone someplace way cooler than heaven, because, you know, harps and white robes are totally not my thing.
Way too soon, I feel her pull away slightly and I stand up (yeah, uh, nevermind) and look at her face. She has a thoughtful smile.
"You know, Edward, I think this might work out fine," she says to me with a wink, and she turns to go back into the house.
a/n: Lots of things to discuss here, sorry! First of all, Betham? She's the bestest beta a girl could want. Seriously. Also, I neglected to thank the lovely and talented WriteOnTime for the loan of Tanya's accent in the last chapter. Not only is her Tanya in "Breaking News" actually really likeable but WriteOnTime looks great in a sandwich board drumming up readers for this catastrophe. I have no words.
I have to shout out to the delightful ladies of the UU for inspiring the conversation about artist's personal flaws/actions and the impact that has on your enjoyment of their work. They had the patience to talk me through a moral crisis without laughing at me. (too much)
Thanks for reading! JuJu