Stranger in Town

Going to Arizona in the summer is not exactly an easy thing for a group of vampires to do. But then, traveling with infants is hardly a piece of cake, so I try to keep the whining to a minimum.

It was actually Bella's idea to come with us. She explained that either Renee would come here to visit, or Bella could visit her in Phoenix - and the nice thing about being the visitor as opposed to the visitee is that you could decide when to leave. I conceded to her superior wisdom, and I wanted her and Thomas to come with me anyway, so it was win-win.

So Bella, Thomas and I flew with Quil, Rosalie and Emmett down to Phoenix, which took some maneuvering to avoid the sun - including a chartered flight, timed carefully for both the sun and Thomas's sleep schedule - and some big-time tips for housekeeping at the hotel so that they didn't decide to pop in during the day and catch me sparkling next to the window.

Alice had given us enough information from her vision to know where we could find Tyler, but we thought it best to do a little information gathering anyway. Good thing we had a private detective in the family, huh?

It's funny that we have Bella's ex-boyfriend all built up to be this ultra-bad guy or mythological figure when really he's just a guy. Tyler Crowley is a 19 year-old Phoenix native with divorced parents and a Nissan Sentra. He is registered to attend Arizona State in the fall and currently works at one of those places that sell nothing but baseball caps. Who knew one of those places would get that much business? American males are not known for accessorizing creatively. Not that I don't enjoy my Cub's hat. But I usually wear it just to hide my glitter-scalp.

His DMV photo shows him to be completely ordinary. An average guy: dark brown hair, dazed DMV smile, 6'2, which means he's probably 6', right? OK grades in high school, one parking ticket and one moving violation (45 in a 30 zone) and pretty mainstream taste in music, if his iTunes purchases are any indication. His Facebook page shows that he had what looks like two and a half girlfriends in his senior year, but none of them were Bella. Interesting. Of course, not having to look at pictures of him with his tongue down Bella's throat means that he may survive my trip to Phoenix.

Of course, I get to do all this research in the comfort of my hotel room while poor Bella has to drive over to Renee's place in the Arizona heat to visit her. Poor thing. Unfortunately, Alice saw that if we invited her over here to visit, she would eventually wonder why we had the shades drawn all day. Not that she'd guess that we're vampires. Her suspicions would go more to drug dealers or porn producers.

It's just getting dark when Bella gets back. She looks miserable, sweaty, tired, and hot. And not in the good way.

"Tell me why people live in the desert?" she asks, wiping her brow and dropping the enormous bag she has to carry around in order to care for Thomas. Seriously, it makes no sense to me that she needs a bag that weighs three times more than he does.

"Because they're morons," I answer, thanking Alice silently for calling an hour ago and telling me to turn up the A/C.

"It feels great in here." I nod and take Thomas from her. She looks at me for the first time. "What are you wearing?" I look down at the Alice-approved outfit. I have a dark striped shirt and black jeans on. She also insisted I use hair gel and then Skype her while she told me how to style it.

"Alice's doing," I say, gesturing to the clothes and the hair. "It's to ambush Tyler." She nods slowly at me. I am trying to see if it's awkward for her when I mention him, but she's not giving anything away. Typical.

"You look…nice," she says. I raise an eyebrow at her as I walk into her room to find soap for Thomas. "Nice?" I say over my shoulder. Bella follows me into the bedroom.

"Yeah, uh, you look good when you brush your hair," she says with a grin, as she spreads a towel out on the bathroom counter and fills up the sink.

"Why don't you take it easy and I'll bathe Thomas?" She looks surprised but she nods.

"Actually, I'm going to take a shower," she says. Dear God, why did I get the suite with two bathrooms?

"Sure," I nod, hoping I'm hiding my disappointment when she goes to the other bathroom. Because I know I'm a pervert but she doesn't need to know that.

I get Thomas bathed and in his jammies and take him back out to the living room. I locate a bottle in the refrigerator, get creeped out for about the 25th time about breast milk, which is totally hypocritical if you think about what I eat, and settle in with Thomas.

"Did you see crazy grandma today, Buddy?" I ask while he eats. "Do you miss vampire grandma?" I am cooing at him when Bella comes out of the bathroom wearing the best argument for living in this city I have ever seen, a pair of what look like blue boxer shorts and a tank top. Less clothing than I have ever seen her in, just in case anyone who isn't me is measuring.

She curls up on the couch next to us. I hope she doesn't catch me ogling. Too much. Then I decide that some ogling on my part might be flattering to her.

"I don't really want to know what you guys are up to tonight, do I?" she asks, smiling at Thomas as he eats.

"Nope, you are totally going to be happier not thinking about what's going to happen," I reassure her.

"It's just that you look like you're going out clubbing or something," she gestures to my outfit.

"Yeah, that's where Alice saw us finding him." I like the anonymity of 'him." It'll make the process of depersonalizing him so much easier, just in case I have to snuff him.

"Oh." Bella looks away for a second and then back at me. "You are doing such a good job with Thomas. Are you sure you don't mind the whole birth certificate thing?"

"Not at all. You know how I feel about Thomas."

"It's just weird that you'll be listed as his dad when we've never even…you know." Bella waves a hand in between the two of us, which I guess is the universal gesture for "getting it on."

"Yeah, it's kind of like a virgin birth but the other way around."

Crickets.

You ever think of something really funny to say and then you say it and then realize that it would be really funny if it weren't so fucking embarrassing to you?

Yeah, I have. Just now, as a matter of fact.

"You're kidding," she says, staring at me. I stare back, frozen, until I hear the wet gurgle of Thomas finishing his bottle. Which reminds me again that Thomas has had more action than I have.

"Oh, look, I need to burp him," I say gleefully, as if this were the high point of my century on Earth. I stand up and pat Thomas on the back as if it requires all of my attention.

And then Thomas is saved from being burped to death by Emmett knocking on the door to let me know it was time to go. I give Bella a quick, quasi-apologetic smile and hand Thomas to her.

"See you later. I've got ex-boyfriends to stalk." I give Bella a wave and get out the door as fast as I can.

Alice did a pretty good job of finding the club we'll stalk Tyler in but she had a hard time pinning down a time, so we have to hang out a bit longer than I want to. And, in reality, five minutes is really longer than I want to hang out in a club. But Emmett and Quil are having a good time; Emmett by beating frat boys at darts and Quil by collecting his winnings.

I am sitting at the bar keeping an eye out for the sperm donor, keeping the seat next to me open by glaring at anyone who comes by. The mental content of this place is pretty annoying, but at least it's consistent. In the hour we are there, seven women and three men come by to try to talk to me. I politely turn them away.

Finally, Tyler Crowley shows up and, as Alice saw, he takes the empty seat next to me and orders a coke. He turns back around in his seat and looks at the crowd. I catch his eye.

"How's it going?' I say, raising my "drink." Again, I am stunned by his ordinariness; he is…so average, both in appearance and thought, that I am shocked that he dare approach my sublime Bella.

"It's alright. You?" he says, eyeing me. He wonders if sitting next to me is a good idea, whether he will appear unattractive next to someone so handsome, and then decides that he might be able to catch the attention of women that I turn down. And then he is embarrassed for thinking I'm handsome.

Then, right on cue, a young blonde with like half of a skirt on walks up to us and asks me to dance.

"No, thank you. I am completely disinterested," I answer, and she makes a huffing noise and rolls her eyes as she walks away.

"What was that, dude?" Tyler looks at me in amazement. "She was really hot!"

"I already have a girl. Would you like to see a picture of her?" I give him my widest smile. Tyler is thinking there's something wrong with me, but he humors me.

I pull out my wallet and take out the picture of Bella and Thomas that we took before we left Forks. I place it on the bar.

"That's my girl and our baby," I say with evident pride. Tyler looks at the picture diffidently and then does a double take. I can hear the confusion in his head as he recognizes Bella. He looks back at me with fear in his eyes. Emmett has made his way over to us and stands on the other side of him.

"Do you like blood, Tyler?" I ask, as he notices the gigantic man on his right, also grinning like a crazy person. He turns back to me.

"What?" he says. His thoughts are getting a little desperate and he's wondering why no one else has noticed how weird we are.

I continue talking, keeping my tone light. "Because that little boy isn't my blood, but if anyone tried to take him away…Well, I'd be furious. I frankly don't know what I'd do. Something crazy, probably." Tyler is staring at me. He's put it together now that Bella had the baby, and that she then apparently took up with some kind of well-dressed Charles Manson. Crazy vampire smile wins again! Emmett and I did spend some time practicing at home.

"We good, Tyler?" I ask, picking up my picture and slipping it back into my wallet. He nods slowly. I take another card out of my wallet and throw it on the counter. It had the address for the hotel and the conference room number where Quil and Rose will meet with him. "Tomorrow at noon. Don't be late." He nods again as Emmett gives him a pat on the back and we walk away. There is no way he's not going to show up for that meeting, where Quil and Rosalie will have him sign an exquisitely crafted document they've been working on for two days. You know, the one that makes it so he has no rights and plenty of obligation? And they say we're the monsters.

I slip back into the suite quietly so as not to wake the human but about a minute later she comes out, rubbing her eyes, still wearing her "look Edward, I'm not wearing a lot of material" pajamas. Me and my eyes try to keep it respectful.

"Why are you up, Bella? It's almost one am."

She looks at me earnestly. "I wanted to talk about what you said earlier. About never having…you know." Great. I was hoping she would have forgot. Humans forget shit, right?

"We don't have to," I say, flopping down on the couch. She comes over and curls her body up about a foot away from me.

"No, I want to. I don't want you to be embarrassed about it. I was just surprised. I mean, a hundred years is a long time." Yeah, you tell me, Bella.

"It wasn't, really. I just didn't have any interest in…you know." She frowns slightly.

"Edward, I like you. You know I do. I just don't think I could be in a relationship that didn't have any…intimacy. If you're not interested in that with me, I don't…" I cut her off before she can say any more blasphemy.

"You think I don't want to have sex with you? Are you kidding?" I didn't mean it to come out like that, but she blushes and the color drifts all the way down to her, well, you know.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I should have said "make love" or something more respectful. But, yeah, I want to do that with you. And a bunch of other stuff. I just never have before because I didn't have anyone that I wanted to do that stuff with."

She reaches out and takes my hand. Ah, Bella's hand. I remember our brief love affair in the OB/GYN's office. I have slightly higher ambitions now, but it's totally better than not touching Bella at all.

"Edward, I think it's really sweet and incredibly…" she looks down and blushes even redder, "…just really hot that I'm the only person you've ever wanted. Is that wrong?" She looks back at me, embarrassed. "I mean, I wouldn't have wanted you to be lonely all those years, but I'm really flattered that you waited for me. Does that make sense?"

I nod slowly. I have no words, only urges that seem like really bad or potentially awesome ideas right now.

"I would wish that I had waited for you, but then we wouldn't have Thomas. If I hadn't had sex with some dumbass who can't use a condom right we never would have met, so I can't really regret that, right?" I nod. The more she talks about our potential sex life the more I think it's a really good idea to either get the fuck out of here or beg her to fool around with me. I just can't seem to get the words together for an appropriate advisory warning in case she doesn't want to get jumped on at one o'clock in the morning.

"You should probably…" I manage to get some combination of words out, but she shifts closer to me. Which shuts me up again.

"Hold still," she says. "I want to try something." I am a statue. I am those steel and cement things that they use to stabilize bridges. Big-ass bridges, not some flimsy wooden shit.

She moves closer to me and presses her mouth to mine. She then takes the hand she was holding and places it on the back of her neck. She presses her lips against mine again and moves them slowly. And then she lets out this tiny, glorious moan.

"God, I love how cold you are," she says and, totally in defiance of any orders she may have given, my other hand comes over to her waist and pulls her into my lap.

She sighs and pushes her hands into my hair as she kisses me. The rebellious hands are under control for now and manage to stay wrapped around her neck and waist, respectively, but they are thinking about mutiny. The Army Corp of Engineers would be embarrassed by my inability to stay still, and I'm mixing my metaphors and I don't care.

It's sublime, having her in my arms like this, and I think about moving to the desert if it means that she will appreciate my coldness all that much more, when I become aware that the hand that was stationed on the back of her neck is making his way around to the front and she is wiggling in an attempt to get closer.

And then, like the voice of reason in a diaper and Arizona Diamondbacks pajamas, Thomas wakes up.

She groans and places one last kiss on my face and smiles gloriously at me.

"Sorry," she says, getting up and walking into the bedroom.

I follow and stop her for a moment. "Don't be sorry. We have nothing but time."

She grins at me sleepily and I'm leaving to let her feed him when it occurs to me what we need to talk about next. There is no way that I want to ever let them go. Not now, not in 60 or 70 years. And I don't know how she feels about becoming like me.

Inter-species dating is a bitch, huh?

a/n: Thank you to Betham for betaing the bejesus out of this one and all the sweet, funny, awesome reviewers who I didn't respond to. Again.

Also, somewhere around chapter 10 I told someone that this would be about 18-20 chapters long. Apparently, I lied. I would try to estimate again for you guys but I don't want to be known as a habitual liar so I won't. It will have between 5 and 45 more chapters. Probably closer to 5. That's all I got. Thanks! JuJu