As I walked into school last nights events played in my mind: I had ran upstairs and jumped into the shower, they had ran in after me, I had screamed, they had ran out screaming too. I came out of the shower, with a towel around me and explained, they started screaming. After a lot of fighting and 'I'M GONNA RIP HIS SCRAWNY BALLS OF HIM AND SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS NECK' sort of convocations they all started to calm down...Except Frankie. My thoughts were disturbed by Frankie chanting.
"Gonna go at him with a hacksaw, see who's the tough guy then. Gonna go at him with a hacksaw, see who's the tough guy then." Mikey and I stared at him.
"Frankie are you SINGING about KILLING someone?" Mikey asked, pushing his glasses further up as he did so.
"It a beautiful song, isn't it?" He laughed.
"Look just don't do anything. I deserved it, I through desert all over him."
"That's not the same!"
"How come?"
"He dragged you into the woods at night, scared you to death, humiliated you infront of all his friends and covered you in ketchup..."
"Look. Just forget about it. It's my fault, I take for granted the fact that no one has tried to kill me yet..."
"Bl-." I interrupted him before he said anything else.
"No Frank. Drop it. Now." I said. He stared at me, his mouth dropped open. I just shook my head between the two boys.
"I love you guys, but you can't kill him. Infact... fuck it, I'll see you in music..." I walked of and found myself a comfortably school-y room and sat down on one of the plastic chairs. I rubbed my temple with the palms of my hands. My phone vibrated.
"Can you cover shift tonight? Gerry." I sighed. I didn't have anything better to do..so I texted back saying that it would be okay. I hated this fucking school. It didn't make any sense. I hated everything about it and I didn't even know why... Do you know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and as you open your eyes you're desperately trying to think of an excuse to go back to sleep? Because the idea of having to force yourself up and keep on fighting is killing you? In WW2 soldiers with post dramatic stress disorder who refused to go back to the front lines where shot. I hate to compare highschool to a battle field, but you can see the air of resemblance. What I'm trying to say is...I'm like one of those soldiers, but I know I'll get shot if I don't go back so I'm forcing myself to and I just can't take it. My soul is being snapped in half. I know that sounds so cliché and 'cookie cutter' but it's what I feel like. It breaks you down and changes you into someone you're not. I was so humiliated from last night, I couldn't be assed with this shit anymore. The world was run by asshole.
Drafts of light filtered in through the large windows. I raised my hand up to the blinding light so it parted and seeped through the spaces between my fingers. I let my finger move around, stretching and twisting as my eyes followed them. The door opened, I flipped around to see a boy and a girl linked together, passionately kissing each other as the boy kicked open the door. They saw me and stopped.
"If your fucking is THAT important, I'll go." I sighed, getting up and walking out of the classroom.
"Be sure not to choke on his dick, slut." I spat before closing the door on the two who abruptly starting kissing again. This school, however, was run sluts. I started to feel bad about shouting at Frank and Mikey when really they were trying to look out for me. It's just that...I mean...Only around a month ago I was the loner kid with a dysfunctional family and no friends, I got used to looking after myself, but now I'm the insane kid with awesome, protective friends and no family and I'm just no used to it. I've always been better of my own.
"Blake! I need a word with you!" I heard someone call, I ground to a halt and turned on my heals to see my interrogator. This wasn't a good time and to make it worse it was Livanna, some random 'preppy, popular and anti-Blake' girl, well usually.
"You better speak fast because you have cum breath and it's stinking up my personal space." I said, her jaw tightened, but her smile stayed firm.
"It's about the boy who's been dropping you of at school recently..."
"Gerard?"
"Gerard, huh? Nice. Well, I was wondering if you could give him my number?" She said, he words cutting into me as she pulled out a card form her purse.
"I'd love too..." I said bitterly. I mean, geez, she already had a boyfriend, wasn't he enough? She turned, flashing her teeth and rejoined her group. I closed my fist around the number, crumpling it up before pushing it into the pocket of my aqua jeans.
"What did she want?" I turned around to see Mikey smiling.
"Nothing. She was wondering if I had saw her boyfriend..." I mumbled. Mikey thew his arm around me.
"Is Frank pissed with me?" I asked.
"No, he's just running around with his girlfriend like the insane, ass he is."
No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities, well I was wrong
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here.
'Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here.
I still try, holding onto silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Pain make your way to me, to me.
And I'll always be just so inviting.
If I ever start to think straight,
This heart will start a riot in me,
Let's start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa!
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this,
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
'Yeah, Gerard...Hmm...I'll be home soon, I promise. I'm just packing up now..." I said before hanging up and pushing it in my pocket as I put some boxes on the top shelf.
"Can you close up?" Gerry asked as he pulled on his coat.
"Yeah, no problem..." I said, trying to sort through the shelves of out of date candy. They door closed leaving my alone with the last to customers, one of which was now staring at my butt.
"You need anything?" I snapped. He boy smiled cheesily at me, he had thick dreads in his hair and was covered in tatts.
"I'm not sure..." He said.
"Okay out NOW!" I said as he continued to stare at my ass. He just rolled his eyes and walked out, the door chiming as he left. I started to go through the till impatiently, I really just wanted to get home.
"Sorry about my friend." I looked up to see the other customer smiling at the desk.
"You gonna guy anything?" I asked. He picked up a hellboy game card from the side and handed it too me.
"Good taste." I said as he handed me some money.
"Look, would you like to go and grab some coffee? I mean if you time..."
"What?" I asked confused.
"Why do you think I've been standing looking at nothing in this store for three hours?" He laughed. I blushed.
"I'm of now, so let me close down the door and I'm free..." I said, not sure why I was agreeing to this , "just tell your friend to go home because I'm not having him starring at my ass for the rest of the night."
"It's a deal." He said as I handed him his change and card.
GERARD
Okay, she was three hours late and I was starting to get worried.
"So you haven't seen her?" I repeated to Mikey.
"No, dude..." He stopped and I heard him whisper something to someone else 'Not since school."
"Mikey who are you with?" I asked as I heard a giggle in the background.
"NO one! I swear! By Gee!" he said hanging up hastily. I threw the phone onto the ground as I head the bell ring as I opened the door to see Blake I was prepared to hug the life out of her.
"Where the fu-." I didn't finish when I saw a guy behind her. Not A guy. The guy, well at my school he was.
"Gee this is Bert! Bert, Gerard!" She smiled between us.
"Yeah, I know you from college right?" He said.
"Yeah." I said uncomfortably.
"Wait, you know each other? You never told me you went to the SVA." She said directing her speech to Bert. What a jackass...dammit out of all the guys she HAD to pick Bert.
"You never told me you knew Gerard..." He said starring bitterly at me.
"Touché. Anyway, Bert and I just went to get some coffee, but he said he'd walk me back so..." I guessed that was my que to make haste and run of. I sighed and turned back to the living room.
I peered from the edge of the door.
"So you and Gerard, live together?" He asked.
"Well technically yes..."
"Okay, cool. I guess I should be going." He smiled.
"Oh okay, bye." She said kissing him on the cheek. He gave her a little wave, blushing and turned to the door. I ground my teeth together when she joined me in living room, eying me up as I drunk steadily.
"Sorry I didn't call." She said.
"It's okay." I said, finishing this bottle and going onto the next.
"So you know him..."
"Yep. I KNOW him." I sighed, WHY THE HELL WAS IT ALWAYS HIM? MR.I'm so cute and cool that I'm aloud to make others life a misery.
"You okay?" She asked as she pulled of her jacket.
"NO, actually I'm not. I was worried as fuck about you and then you show up 3 hours late with some guy." I said, drinking some more. All reality was drifting away.
"Well who's starting to sound like my mom, now?" She asked bitterly. I shot her a look and complete aversion, she looked surprised.
"Maybe you should stop drinking..." She muttered. That's when I went of it.
"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME TO STOP DRINKING? It's not even legal for you, but you're ALWAYS drinking and popping pills and getting high! You're just a kid!" I screamed, I regretted what I said immediately.
"Fine. Kill yourself, but don't expect me to sit and watch yourself down in your own self pity and piss." She said very stiffly, getting up and walking out of the room and ran upstairs. I breathed out heavily. I was being a shit. An alcoholic, shit. I closed my eyes and took another sip of beer before getting up and running up the stairs. I knocked on Blakes room. No answer. I sighed and knocked again.
"damn your knocking..." She muttered, I took that as a peace sign and came in. She was lying face up on her bed.
"I'm sorry." I said, lying down next to her, looking at the ceiling.
"No I'm sorry, I should have called..." There was an awkward silence.
"So, I'm drowning in a pool of self pity and...piss?" I laughed. She chuckled too.
"That explains why you stink so much." She giggled. I put my arm around he and hugged her tight up to me.
"Do you like him?" I asked, still staring at the ceiling.
"Not as much as I like you." She laughed. I felt myself blush.
"well obviously, his hair has NO bounce compared to mine." I laughed, she squirmed deeper into my arms and breathed heavily.
"You really do spell of piss..." She remarked.
"Well thanks for ruining or nice moment."
"Actually your smell did."