I swear listening to My Heart-Paramore whilst reading this just works- the song makes this crappy chapter slightly better! Haha. I'm dedicating this chapter to My one and only. He knows who he is and he knows how much I love him. XO

BLAKE

I spent all night awake. My eyes floating over the objects in my room. My head leaned against my wall. My heart beating strongly and my fists screwed up. The complete overwhelming emotion of regret drained through me. My knees were pulled up against my chest. Tears burning my cheeks. He'd never know. He'd never fucking know. My body shook, my lips trembling as I heard him sing softly from his room. The nights presence shook through me and mornings awaited coming threatened my sleepless state.

"Yeah... I'll see you then..." I heard Gee whispered on the phone in his room. My nails bit into the wall.

"I'm okay! I swear...no...yeah, I'll tell her...totally...bye..." He chocked out the unconnected list of words sorrowfully. The night air flooded though the open window. My skins numbing itself to the bitter coldness. I let my finger dance along my arm.

GERARD

I lay on my bed. I could hear whimpers coming from Blakes room. I couldn't bear to hear her voice. I just couldn't. I buried my head in the pillow. Tears soaking it. The phone lay abandoned on the floor. It must have been about 4 o'clock in the morning. I returned to my quiet singing. Painfully trying to block out her cries. My fingers screwed up on the frame of the bed. My knuckles clicking. I let out a sharp scream. My hand hit of the wall. I hated him. I hated him more than anything in the world. I tearfully nursed my fist. My lips tracing over the reddening skin. Why did everything have to be so fucked up? Why couldn't we just be happy? In a couple of hours time I'd have to get up and go to college and Blake would go to high school and all day her face would be the only thing occupying my mind. The built up rage and utter depression in my body was making it hard for me to breathe.

"Gerard?" I heard a timid voice say. I closed my eyes.

"Yes?" I said, un sure if I could manage any more.

"Good night."

"Good night, Blake." I spluttered, the salty tears reaching my lips.

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours
(My heart, it beats for you)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (It beats, beats for only you)
My heart is yours (My heart is yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)

(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours
(Please don't go, please don't fade away)
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is...

It was even more awkward than it had been the day after Rays party. I tried to concentrate on driving, but my eyes kept flicking back to her. I wondered what he'd done to her. If she loved him. If she'd loved being with him. I wondered where he'd kissed her...I wondered if she'd preferred our night or theirs... Dark circles framed her eyes, her hand taping on the window of the car and her other hand fiddled with her skirt.

"Did you have a good band practise yesterday?" She said, trying to break the tension.

"Yeah...okay..." I said. Silence. I coughed thinking of something to say.

"Did you have a good time yesterday?" I asked, innocently enough. He eyes skimmed over my face.

"Yes." That's it. That was our conversation before she looked back out of the window.I heard her mumble something, barely audible.

"What?" I asked confused. Her eyes opened.

"Nothing... Just- nothing." She breathed out heavily. I pulled up outside her school.

"Oh yeah, we're going to my moms tonight...Mikey and Alicia were going so our parents could meet Alicia and they wanted us to come." I informed her. She nodded her head.

"Cool. Good. Bye." Three words. Then she left. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, my eyes dropping to the floor as the door slammed shut. I couldn't understand it. All of the sudden everything was just so... complex. I pulled out, heading to the ferry, so I could make the trip to the SVA so I could get shoved and pushed to agree. About an hour later I stoof looking up at the SVA. I bit my lip. Rubbing my fingers along my jawbone and entered apprehensively. People walked around me, running to classes, joining hands, breathing deeply with utter excitement. Why couldn't I feel that? Everything about this place depressed me now. I sort of drifted through the day, my IPods headphones firmly placed in my ears. Lunch went my painfully. I trudged to my Fine Arts class. I had been dreading it all day. Bert and I both took this class. As I rushed into the class, late as always, I took my seat a couple of places in front of Bert and his sniggering friend.

I tried to concentrate on the lesson. I really did, but every time I thought I was getting into it I heard Bert whispering something or Blake would pop up in my head.

"Yeah, we did it on her couch." I heard Bert whisperer. I listened in curiously.

"Totally gagging for it; what a slut." He chuckled.

"Isn't she a friend of that Way kid?" His friends asked. Oh my god, they were talking about Blake.

"Unfortunately. It's so obvious he likes her... pathetic or what?" He laughed. That was it. I jumped up and without thinking my fist came in contact with his face.

"You fucking asshole!" I screamed. He'd fucked Blake and now he was bragging about it. I was on top of him now, his hands lashing out at my face. The class jeered, leaving the teacher in hysterics. I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back. It was my fucking teacher. Bert struggled up and spat at me.

"You're just jealous because she wanted me not you." He spat. My arms thrashed out again, but my tutors grip was firm. He pulled me out of the classroom by one hand and the other one was dragging Bet along. I found myself sitting in the 'Directors' office, glaring bitterly at see, college is just like high school except the head teacher isn't the head teacher, they're called the 'director of learning' or what ever makes them sound important, take you pick...and if you did anything you could be sure that your ass was going to be dragged to their office.

"Are you going to explain why you felt the need to hit Bert?" She said, looking through her glasses.

"He was spreading shit about my best friend!" I exclaimed.

"So you felt the need to punch him?"

"Stop being so god damn condescending, I'm not a violent guy, but I'm willing to fucking kill someone if they're talking shit about my friends and family." She stared at me in shock. Around about then I decided I should have skipped the first bit...

BLAKE

I yawned, sleepily, as I pushed my books into my locker, thankful for the end of the day.

"So you're going to pick us up? Thanks so much...okay...yeah- bye!" Mikey hung up the phone.

"He was already out so he says he'll be here in a minute or two." He informed me, his arm casually around Alicia's hips. Alicia looked worried as hell- I didn't know why though; Donna and Donald were the sweetest. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Gerard; he'd been in a funny mood all last night. High school's one of those giant bummers; you can never escape it, you're either at it or worrying about it or talking about it. You never get away, really. Frank was at my side, of course he was coming over for tea; A little after meeting the boys I realised that Donna was right- Frank was almost completely part of their family. His arm dragged around my shoulder.

"What's wrong honey?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing- I was just wondering if I could come to one of you band practises..." I mumbled. He looked a little taken back.

"Of course you can; just let me warn you though- It get's bloody." He laughed, his hands moving to mine, grabbing it.

"Where's Jamia? I haven't seen her since Rays party!" I asked.

"Her moms got her locked up in her own house, literally. She was grounded because her mom found some drugs in her room..." Frank sighed.

"Ouch- for how long?" I asked curiously.

"Like a month or two... I suppose it could have been worse." I nodded in agreement, my eyes scanning along the car park for Gerard. When I spotted him, I pulled Frank along with me and jumped into the front seat. Alicia, Mikey and Frank took the back.

"Hey Gerard..." I smiled, my eyes flicking onto is face. He watched me carefully as I did up my belt. I noticed he looked like he had scratched on the side of his face.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to touch them, but Gee moved along in his seat before I could, muttering some excuse. I could hear Alicia moaning about how nervous she was and Mikey trying to calm her down. I turned in my seat.

"Don't worry, they're going to love you." I told her sincerely. She flashed me a thankful smile, but it didn't take long for her to carry on fretting.

"I saw Bert today." Gerard said icily.

"And?" I asked confused.

"Just thought you'd interested..." He muttered. I looked out of my window. Bert was a giant mistake. A massive one. When we reached The ways house I walked in with a smile, the delicious smell of Donnas cooking flooded my nostrils.

"Hey honey!" She said giving me a hug, followed by giving Frank, Gerard and Mikey one. She smiled at Alicia.

"It's great to meat you..." She said, shaking Alicia's hand.

"It is, I've heard a lot about you." By this point I was greeting Donald, but listening in on Alicia's careful wording.

"The food smells wonderful, Donna." I noted.

"Thank you Blake! I tried out a new recipe today..." I found myself seated at the dinner table, opposite Gerard who stared at me intently. I took a spoonful of the pie. Everyone, except Gee, was looking at Alicia. She talked happily, telling them about themselves, her hand tightly grasping Mikeys under the table. That's what I wanted; someone reliable, someone who was there for me, someone who cared...

"And what did you do this weekend?" Donald asked, putting down his fork.

"Or in Blakes case, Who did you do this weekend." I heard Gerard mutter, he just said it loud enough for everyone to catch. I blushed bright red.

"Can we talk about this later, Gerard?" I asked, feeling peoples eyes burn on me.

"Or...we could take about it now Blake? Y'know how you went behind my back and screwed Bert?" Why the hell did he ALWAYS have to pick the worst times. Anger raged up inside of me. I jumped up, my finger pointing viciously at him.

"I didn't go fucking near him! I didn't and wouldn't and even if I did it's none of your effing business- I mean why do you care so much?" I barked. My eyes darted between the astounded audience.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to Donna and Donald before storming out.

GERARD

All their attention were now on me as I watched the door close, silently.

"Look what you did now you fucktard!" Mikey raged.

"Maybe I should go..." I got up pushing my chair in afterwards and walking outside calmly, suddenly regretting what I had said.

Thank you for reading this chapter (if any one did...) Please review! *cringe* Woah, I sounded desperate there... buahaa. Love you guys!

xox