Sorry that I haven't uploaded all week. I've been going through a 'crisis' because my BF has done one of his notorious bunkers and isn't back yet, but today I was just like...'Fuck it, Fuck him. If he's going to be all bratty I'll let him. I have fanfiction to be writing!' So here you go:

I rested my head on Gees chest. It fell steadily. The TV was still humming along, but our minds had become blank and unable to keep up with it. I let out a yawn, pulling the blankets over me and trying to get comfortable on the couch. My eyes ended up fixed on Gerard's surreal face. I wanted him so much. I wanted him more than you or I could comprehend. I wanted him so...so...much. How could I tell him though? He was my best friend! So I deprived myself to brief moments of touching and smiles. My head felt very heavy now. So did my eyes. So heavy...that I might have just fallen asleep...

9 months later *insert theatrical Oohs!*

I briefly scanned through the mail...Gerard's...Gerard's...Bills...Gerard's...Gerard's...Ooh! Finally there was a letter with my name on! Printed neatly on the white envelop, next to my name was the SVA logo. My throat went dry- this was my results. If I had got in or not... I slowly started to open it, now leant against the wall. My eyes scanned along the note 'Dear Blake Reed, We are happy to inform you that your request to join the School Of Visual Arts in Newyork has been accepted...' Oh my god...

"Gee!" I literally screamed. Gerard's face popped from around the door, his body hidden behind it in the living room.

"What?" He asked sorely; he must have still been suffering from a hang over.

"I got in! I GOT IN!" I screamed, waving the letter around manically. He came and read through the letter, a sure smile perched on his lips.

"I knew you would..." He said, still reading it before giving me a hug, "You deserve it, I'm so happy for you!" He said, beaming.

"I'm going to the SVA! THE SVA!" I said jumping around.

"It's just a shame this is my final year..." Gee said sourly.

"I know! It would have been amazing if we could have went together!" I said, still jumping around.

"Blake! Stop! Jumping!" Gee said, his arms firmly on my shoulder. Did he know? Could he feel the shivers creeping through my flesh and bones as he did that?

"I need to tell the others!" I said, lunging away from him and to the phone.

"And I'll go make some coffee..." Gee mumbled... I raised an eyebrow wondering what had brought his sudden change of mood on...

"Hey, Mikey!" I literally shouted down the phone...

"Blakkee..."

-------------------that night-----------------------------

The guys and I went out in celebration. When I say went out, I mean going to the local, cheapest, grimiest dinner and drinking god awful coffee and eating veggie burgers.

"Eww get a room!" I moaned, whilst looking over my coffee to Frank and Jamia who were almost groping each other...

"Baby, you're just jealous!" Frank laughed, I felt myself blush.

"Yeah honey, I want you..." I said, raising my eyebrow.

"and now I'm going to go throw up..." Ray muttered. I just laughed. My stomach was still twisting around inside, I felt like I was going to throw up... My cheeks were warm and red...

"Blake are you okay? You don't look to good..." Christa said, her eyebrows hitched up in a state of worry.

"Yeah...I just feel a little bit, queasy." I smiled, looking down at my fries.

"Where the hell is that waitress with our ice cream?" Bob said, looking around.

"Probably in the kitchen spitting on it..." Gee smirked.

"And know I want to throw up... again..." Ray laughed, grabbing a bunch of my fries and stuffing them into his mouth. My eyes kept flickering open and shut. I must have eaten a bad burger... The waitress ran out of the kitchen with our ice cream...

"Here is your ice cream kids..." The waitress said, I smiled gratefully as she handed me, my tiramisu icecream.

"Thanks..."

"You're welcome sugar..." She said brightly before turning away.

"Guys do you want my ice cream? I don't think I'll be able to handle it..." I puffed.

"You sure?" Bob asked with a cheeky smile...I pushed it towards him:

"Go to town on it, serious..." Without another word he began demolishing it.

"I can't believe you can eat so much..." Jamia said from over her ice cream with a smile.

"I can't believe you're so gay!" Bob retorted.

"Ahuh...yep, that made sense...any whoo..." Gee laughed "I think us guys have something to tell you..." He said instantly becoming a little worried as he looked around the table.

"What, tell them...now?" Frank asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing..." Mikey said from over the table.

"C'mon we need to tell them and we only have 2 week left guys!" Gee exclaimed to the suddenly pale looking boys who were smiling sheepishly at their girlfriends. My eyes grazed into Gees... willing him to just tell me.

"Look- Brian hooked us up with a tour and we set of in 2 weeks. I know it's short notice, but it's a real tour and we think it's going to be our break..." Ray said shakily.

"What? For how long? Where?" I heard Alicia ask Mikey.

"God knows where and god knows how long..." I felt my hand rise to my mouth and sick threatened in the back of my throat. I wasn't sure if it was the dodgy food, shocking news or the subbies I had taken, but I knew I was going to hurl. I mumbled some excuse as I ran to the bathroom, pushing my way into a cubicle and threw up all over my shoes, the floor and the toilette seat.

GERARD

We all watched as she ran off, hand covering mouth, almost tripping over our legs. I stared a second longer as she disappeared through the toilette doors...

"I'm going to make sure she doesn't...yeah..." I didn't know how to end it so I just got up and ran after her, apprehensively entering the female toilette, hoping I wasn't going to get killed for it. Luckily she was the only one in there. I found her flung over a toilette seat, sick everywhere and the cubicle door open. I tiptoed around the sick so I was behind her and pulled her hair back from her face as she was sick, rubbing her back with my other hand. I don't know what she had been 'doing' but she was just throwing up- I know it makes me sound like a pansy, but it was grossing me out a lot. Eventually she turned away from the toilette, mouth closed and a sweat on her brow. I handed her a piece of toilette paper which she wiped her mouth with.

"You okay?" I asked stupidly. She nodded, looking around at the grimy cubicle, I looked down to her ruined shoes.

"Blake..."I said, signalling down to her shoes. She sighed and pulled them of before throwing them across the floor.

"So you're leaving...to go on tour..." She said, her eyes now on mine.

"Yeah...I am." I nodded, I could see tears threatening to break through her eyes, she wiped them away. I was having to do the same.

"I'm going to miss you..." She mumbled. I couldn't help but feel touched that hard ass Blake had admitted that to me.

"I'm going to miss you too." I said pulling her into a hug.

"You better ring me every day! And...text and email! Don't forget twitter!" She told me.

"Of course!" I smiled. Shed looked at the sick covered floor of the cubicle.

"Oh damn...I'm going to have to walk out of here with no shoes on..."

"No you won't." I lifted her up in a marital style and proceeded out of the 'can'. She squirmed in my arms, giggling. As we neared our table I flung some money on it to cover our bill.

"Sorry, I'm gonna have to take her home..." I smiled. They didn't seem to mind so much so next thing I know, I'm driving back to the house wondering how the hell I'm going to live without Blake.

BLAKE

I lay on the couch, upside down, watching Gerard pack his things. So many emotions were ripping through me and coursing through my veins; I felt like I was going to explode into a thousand little, gooey, oozing pieces. It was strange how much could change in a couple of hours. Before I had been so happy, I had SVA, my friends...Gee. Now. Well, I have the SVA and some of my friends left, but Mikey, Frank, Bob, Ray and Gee were going and probably were going to forget me is a that creepy looking girl who got them drugs.

"Please remember me." I said, still upside down to Gee. He glanced at me.

"Of course I will silly..." He smiled whilst packing all of his makeup away.

"I'm serious Gerard. Please don't forget me." I said sitting up. He halted and came and sat by me, a puzzled expression on his face.

"How could I ever forget about you?" He smiled, his thumb gently rubbing over my cheek.

"Very easily..." I answered his rhetorical question.

"Blake... I hate to admit this, but you're the closest person I've got to me in world; even closer than my mom!" He laughed, I giggled too. "I'm never going to forget about my mom... So how can I forget about you; my creepy, beautiful, clever, interesting, completely insane, best friend?" He asked. I couldn't answer that, so I just perched my head in the crook of his neck.

"I'm thinking--- That it's going to be the other way round honey. You're going to become the big artist and I'm going to be a nobody." He told me sternly. I couldn't help but laugh.

"No way! You'll never be a nobody! You've got a WAY to tight ass, for that!" I smiled.

"Well..." He said with a flash of a grin.

"Now go pack! I command thee!" I ordered before sitting back upside down. Actually, it was funny how much could change in 12 months. 12 little months of my life; I'd turned 18, I'd got into the SVA, I'd lost my old family, Gained a new one, gained friends and found...Gerard. I couldn't complain could I? I had them... and that was more than I had ever had growing up.

I don't know what other people see
or what they think is love
But i know what it means to me
I fall in love so easily
And it's hard to let your guard down
Something you never wanted to
I gave you my love and if you turned away
I guess i'd be screwed, but...

I'm a hopeless romantic
You're just hopeless

Beer and wine does me fine but
it doesn't always do
When i get back up and dust off
I always come back to you.
I'm my own man with my own plan
I can't do the things you want me to
I'm kinda lazy and i kinda stink
But i'll clean myself up for you

I know I said this chapter would be longer, but it turned out the way I wanted to set this out- meant this had to be short too, BUT I MEAAAN THIS when I say the next one (which I'm half way through) will be MUUUCCHHHH longer!

You Put The Hate In My Heart