I'm sorry this took me so long to update; I had one ready to upload on the 27th, it was 6,000 words long and took me around 10 hours to get perfect for you guys- obviously my computer felt the need to kill it. I then cried for about half an hour and then I started typing again, still sobbing and Listening to (Hayley Williams- Teenagers) I also want you guys, because I know you're all open minded, amazing people; to check out a band called Renfue. You WILL like 'em.
This chapter is dedicated to Bob Bryar. I'm sure all of you know that he and MCR have parted ways. It took me about...3 days to process this- but I did...(along with a lot of crying) I hope Bob has the best of futures and I can only wish serendipity upon him. He helped me turn my life around and I will always be grateful toward him for that.
Thank you Bobby.
So it's the last day of school. Tomorrow I'd be moving into student accommodation and, well they guys would be going on tour.
"Thanks for giving me a lift to school..." I said, kissing Gee on his cheek.
"It's okay...just have a good last day."
"Oh, I will..." I smiled, picking up my bag which was filled with vodka and whiskey. Obviously, he didn't know that. I closed the door and walked into the school. I looked around at people running past me, in a hurry- Kids laughing and throwing balls. I took a breath in. I hated to admit it, but I was going to miss this place.
Gonna go on living like I never met you
And it'll feel wrong at first but I think I can forget you
Ignore the fact that we sleep no more than three feet apart
I feel you now, you're all around me, underneath me
You're all around me, underneath me
Well how was I to know
That what we carved in stone
Would be so temporary
Well how was I to know
That my first crack at love
Would not be the last
Won't be the last
It's in the air now, bitter tears and broken hearts
We're teenagers, we count the years, we think we're smart
But we're not, we don't know anything
So don't ask me where I'll go
'Cause frankly I don't know
And I don't give a shit
Why must we all make sense
And I just won't make sense
For once I'm just gonna live
I'm just gonna live
Teenagers, we don't know anything
Teenagers, we don't know anything, oh
Well how was I to know
That what we carved in stone
Would be so temporary
Why must we all make sense
And I just won't make sense
For once I'm just gonna live
I'm just gonna live
I sat in the classroom, breathing deeply in. The moist air burned my lungs and clung to them. I looked down at my phone:
Congratulations x it was from my mom. What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to ring her and have a merry convocation? Ignore her? It had been a year since I had last spoke to her... A whole fucking year! I felt my finger slip onto the call back button and without knowing my phone was ringing.
"Hello?" I heard he say. I stopped, chocking.
"Mom?" I asked.
"Oh darling! You rang! I've missed you so much!" She exclaimed. What was I supposed to say?
"Blake? Are you there?" She asked after a couple seconds of silence.
"Yeah, I am mom. I've missed you too." I hadn't. Not one bit.
"I'm so glad you've rung up! Have you heard anything from your father?" She asked.
"No..." I looked out of the window and that's when I gave up on listening to her when I saw him. Him being my ex.
"Mom...I have to go." I said before hanging up. He was back. He was fucking back... He. Was. In New Jersey. Sorry, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Jason (my ex) and I broke up 5 months before I met Gee, when his parents moved him out of the state. I knocked on the window, he heard it and looked up. I smiled to him mouthed 'wait there' I ran out of the classroom, out of the school and ran so I was just a foot away from him. I stared at him in shock.
"You're back." I said dryly.
"Yeah..." He smiled, awkwardly.
"Oh god..." I said, dumb founded.
"Gimme a hug, silly!" He exclaimed. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me.
"When did you get back?" I asked.
"Just today..."
"Blake!" I heard Mikey shout from the school's entrance.
"Oh, you gotta meat my friends!" I told him, pulling him behind me to Mikey and Frank.
"Jason this is Mikey and Frank, Guys this is Jason." I smiled, pointing between them. They all mumbled 'hey's and 'nice to meet yous' between each other awkwardly.
"Jason and I have been friends, since we were like...three?" I laughed.
"Yepp, it was a sandbox romance..." Jason giggled. I blushed fiercely.
"Romance?" Frankie asked.
"Oh, we used to go out..." I mumbled.
"Actually, I was around here to ask you if you'd like to ditch and get something to eat with me?" He asked. I bit my lip. It was my last day and there was a lot of stuff I needed to do...but...
FRANKIE
--------------lunch-----------------------
Gee was not going to be happy that Blake's ex was back on the scene just as he goes on tour. You could see how upset Blake had looked when she denied going and skipping with him.
"So...Jason?" Mikey mumbled as we took our seats at our usual table in the hall.
"Yepp...Jason and?"
"Nothing...Nothing!" Mikey smiled sheepishly.
"No seriously, just get all the puns out!" She said.
"No seriously, no puns intended."
"Good." She took a bite into her burger, I literally wanted to throw up as she did.
"What's the chance of you ever giving up meat?" I asked.
"Well, it's about as likely as your balls dropping, honey." She giggled. I went bright red.
"Speaking of that..." Aaron laughed from the table behind us.
"Shut up, dick face- No one gives a shit about you." I spat at him, before turning back to the shocked looking guys.
"Woah... Who's a bit touchy today, huh?" Blake laughed, taking another bite of the dead animal...
"Sorry...It's just my parents and Jamia have been up in my grill about the tour..." I sighed.
"Me too- Alicias been so off ever since we told them..." Mikey moaned.
"Well, at least you're going on tour! I have to go to college and work some more!" Blake said.
"Fair point..."
"Any way, I've got you guys some special treats..." She smiled.
"Treats?"
"Yeah...gimme a second." She looked around quickly before pulling out a bottle of vodka from her bag and handing it to Mikey under the table.
"You're so thoughtful..." Mikey smiled, putting it in his bag. My phone started to play Kids and Hereos loudly. I picked to up, holding it to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked glumly.
"Hey honey! It's Jamia! Tell the others to be at Bobs by 10 tonight. We're having a goodbye sleepover." She said before hanging up. Don't you hate when people hang up without saying goodbye?
"Sleepover at Bobs tonight..."
-----------THAT NIGHT-------------------
BLAKE
Soon as I entered Bobs, I could hear screaming.
"BLLAAKKE HELP ME!" Gee screamed as Bob pinned him down on the floor tickling him. Everyone else (Frank, Mikey, Ray, Christa, Alicia, Jamia and Kaitlin) sat laughing hysterically at him. I sighed and pulled Bob of him.
"I can't leave you alone for a second with out you getting ass raped now, can I?" I giggled, pulling him up.
"You're the man in this relationship, aren't you?" He smiled sheepishly.
"Okay... Movie and Pizza time!" Christa announced, pulling out Hellraiser 3.
"Okay, but first let me go get changed into my PJS!" I announced, noticing that they all seemed to be in theirs. I ran upstairs, to the bathroom and quickly got changed into my Red Skelanimal PJS top and black skeleton bottoms. When I got back downstairs they were all either curled up on the couch on perched on the ground, watching the TV in horror.
"Hey! You started without me!" I giggled, taking a piece of pizza and sitting next to Gee on the couch.
"SSHHH!" They all glared at me. I just giggled again and snuggled next to Gee, who wrapped one of his arms around making me want to faint. Next thing I know, he's leaned forward and stole a bite of my pizza.
"Thief!" I declared.
"SSHH!" The all said to me again. Gee and I burst out laughing at that point.
"JESUS CHRIST, WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH A MOVIE!" Alicia exclaimed making us laugh harder.
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin...
(I'm melting, Im melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now
Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
Why cuts aren't healing
(why cuts aren't healing)
Learning how to love
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)
You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
We could take our heads off
stay in bed and just make love that's all
(stay in bed, just make love that's all)
Just stay with me now
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes
Soon the movie was over and the others seemed relatively freaked out...
"I now have an excuse to be crap at puzzled..." Kaitlin said, taking a bite of pizza.
"That's what you got out of the movie?" I said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yep and Pinhead looks like a pedo..."Christa said glumly, hiding her face behind a pillow.
"Haha- You're boyfriend does to!" I laughed, Ray threw a pillow at me with an un-satisfied grunt.
"And what about that Jason friend of yours?" Mikey laughed.
"Jason?" Gee asked curiously.
"Aww, look he's getting jealous!" Frankie mused, making Gee go red.
"Jason a friend that just moved back in state today..." I explained.
"Who happened to be her first looovee." Frankie said giggling. I shot him a look, making him shut up.
"So do you still like him?" Gee asked.
"Can we drop the convocation?" I asked.
"Yeah, whatever..." Gee said with a wink.
"You're an asshole, you know that?" I laughed.
"Okay...why don't we play 7 minutes in heaven?" Lic said, her arms wrapped around Mikey.
"Ooh, I'm in." Mikey smiled.
"So am I!" Christa said, eventually everyone was up for it so Bob went and got a bottle and we crowded around it in a circle. Bob turned it once and the cap ended of Ray, he did it again and it landed on Alicia.
"See you in 7 minutes, baby." Alicia purred to Mikey before going to the closet at the end on the room, followed by Ray.
"You better not get to cosy in there!" Christa told him sternly. Needless to say afte 7 minuted we found Alicia platting Rays hair. Next up was Mikey and Bob- once again, we didn't find anything to scandalous.
"This is lame..." I moaned.
"Well what did you expect?" Bob asked as we circled around the bottle again. He turned it, it spun around powerfully, the colours of it melting into one until it stopped on me. I breathed in shallowly. It turned again. I crossed my finger, hoping it was going to be him... It stopped on someone. I looked up to see Gerards smiling face.
"C'mon Baby..." He said, pulling at my hand with a giggle. When we got in the closet we sort of sat their for a couple of minutes, awkwardly. Unsure of what to do. Just do it... That's all I could think of. Just do what you've been waiting 9 months to do. Just do it... I leaned forward, so my lips brushed against his cheek.
"Y'know...the way I was taught to play this; it was considered rude if you didn't...well..." I trailed of, biting my lip. Yep I know; I'm a tease. Gees mouth opened, his eyes wide...he craned his neck so he was hanging slightly ovder me, his body shifting closer to me.
"Well...we wouldn't want to be rude, would we?" He said with a smirk. I felt his body lean against mine in anticipation. I leaned forward, letting our lips brush gently together. He pulled back.
"If we're going to do this- I'm going on top because I'm not having you role of and burst out laughing again..." He giggled, his lips then moving back on mine. Oh my god this was happening. This was actually happening. I felt my hand pull at his neck- pulling his body mine, letting out a satisfied moan as his lips started to trail down onto my collar bone,r paying particular attention to it. I felt my arms moved onto his back, grabbing it him- willing him closer. His hips steadily grinding against mine, making my eyes flutter in passion. I wrapped my legs around his back his shoulder pulling back. Could I tell him? Could I tell him that I was in love with him?
"Babe..." I moaned as his hands strongly rubbed against my hips, making my skin tingle.
"Did you hear that?" I heard Christa asked...
"Yeah...I think I did..." Bob said quietly from outside the door. I ignored them- my hands flicking at the hem of Gees shirt.
"Maybe we should check...if there...y'know..."
"But it's not 7 minutes!" Bob said sternly.
"Bob, do you want them to make Babies in your closet?" without another word the door was thrust open, light flooding in painfully, making me squint.
"I was right!" Mikey exclaimed smugly...
"Oh my god..." Lic said in shock. Silence...
"Okay- off- Now!" Mikey said sternly to Gee. Gee pulled from our kisses for a second.
"Gimme a second..." He mumbled, his lips back on mine. Mikey sighed and pulled Gee of me, polinking him on the floor. I smiled sheepishly and got up and straightened myself up and sat next to Gee again, taking a bottle of vodka and taking a deep swig of it.
"We can always blame the liquor."
--------------The next morning---------------
Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen,
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen.
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene.
It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing.
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting
Yeah yeah, oh
If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya
I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean.
Yeah yeah, oh
If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter long after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya
So go, go away, just go, run away.
But where did you run to? And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay
Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya, come on
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya
At all, at all, at all, at all
I sat grimly awaiting Bobs crude call to wake me up- to face another day. My eyes were open, groggily and sleepily and my mind was blank to the perturb of the day ahead. 5...4...3...2...1...
"Bllaaakkke! Get up!" Bob called. I moaned, but didn't get up from the coach. After a couple of seconds Bob called again. I didn't do anything, with a sigh he came and sat next to me.
"What's wrong?" He asked sweetly.
"I don't want you to go..." I moaned, pulling him into a hug.
"Baby- you'll see us all the time..." He smiled, before pulling me up.
"I have to go and get changed- get yourself some coffee..." Bo told me before walking out of the room.
"Heeyyy!" Gee said over enthusiastically for a morning. My eyes settled on his topless body, making me blush as he yawned.
"I'm going t go get some Starbucks, you want me to bring you some back?" He asked.
"Oooh, yeah!" I smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me head before running of.
"Dirty!" I laughed as he ran off, blushing really hard. I sat back down on the couch, breathing out steadily.
"You love him don't you?" I heard someone say. I looked up to see Alicia sitting on the opposite couch watching me carefully.
"I thought you were asleep!" I laughed trying to avoid the question.
"Blake..."
"Yes...Okay!" I said, staring down at her. She smiled smugly.
"I knew it."
-------later on that day-------
Everything was packed, a cab was waiting for me and I was hugging the guys.
"You guys look after yourself..." I said to them.
"We will..." Mikey said. I stared awkwardly at Gee.
"Hey, why don't we take Blakes boxes out to the cab..." Lic said picking up a box, the others doing so except for Gee and walking out of the living room outside to the cab. Good old Lic, always knowing how to make something painfully obvious.
"I'm going to miss you..." I said, hugging him again.
"Me too..." He muffled into my hair. I pulled away, staring soberly at him. Our eyes connected. He leaned forward, so our lips gently burshed together, rubbing against each others. My hands tied around his back.
"C'mon Blake!" Mikey shouted from outside. I pulled away.
"What did that mean?" I asked confused.
"That I'm reaaallly, going to miss you..."
"BLAAKKE! HURRY THE FUCK UP!" Mikey shouted. I held my breath in, taking Gees hand and lead him to the cab. I hugged them all...aaaggaain, before getting into the car.
"Okay- girls you better ring me soon because we need to go shopping and... Guys- look after yourselves, okay?" I smiled, wiping away tears.
"We will!" Bob called.
"Don't forget us!" Frank laughed as the cab started. In the mist of goodbyes, I swear I heard Gee wave and utter the words:
"I love you Blake..."
When we eventually got to Halls (2 hours later) the taxi driver kindly helped me bring all my boxes up into my room. As he left I looked around the apartment. No one else was here so I figured I may as well pick my room out of the two. Obviously the biggest one. After lugging all my boxes into my room, I sat on my makeshift bed, looking around my new home. My answer phone bleeped its first message: I sighed and played it.
"Hey! It's Gee- and those asses you know as your friends..." Gee laughed.
"HEELLOOO BLLAAKKE!" Frank cried out in the background.
"Any whoo...You've been gone around half an hour and Brian's here with our bus so...we're officially on tour! I just thoughts I'd call to say well...good bye. I'm really going to miss you." Gee said softly.
"He's crying!" Mikey said laughing his head of.
"Oh shut up!" Gee said defnesivly.
"We have to go, ring the other- love you, bye!"
I chocked as the message ended. I had a brand new life. I was just going to have to make the most of it. The doorbell rung. I got up and opened it sorely to see Jason holding a couple of boxes.
"Blake, what are you doing here?" He asked confused.
"I live here..." There was a silence.
"Oh well- seems like we're flatmates!" He said, pushing his way inside. My jaw dropped in shock. Oh my god...
I'm caught dancing with a liar
you said you could never behave
I thought you could take me higher
I know things will never ever change
Will you walk with me through this
will you talk to me through this
cause I love you but I hate you
I want you but I don't so it's over
Across the room, across the room
fevered this love affair
across the room, across the room
my heart is
I'm caught, you're caught, we're caught
Dancing with a liar
I'm caught, you're caught, we're caught
dancing
Tangled feelings of knowing you
tell me I could just come clean
never wanted to fall for you
this phase I have claimed obscene
Will you walk with me through this
will you talk to me through this
cause love you but I hate you
I want you but I don't so its over
Across the room, across the room
fevered this love affair
across the room, across the room
my heart is all I bare (2x)
I'm caught, you're caught, we're caught, dancing with a liar
Woah(2x)
Across the room (4x)
I' m caught, you're caught, we're caught
dancing with a liar
I'm caught you're caught we're caught
dancing
my heart is all I bare (4x)
(yeah)
I'm caught you're caught we're caught dancing with a liar