Hey guys! Song of the...fanfic (?) lmao. This chapter is a sort of 'parallel' chapter. It's going to spread cross a lot of time. LIKE...2 years to be exact- actually it might not be 2 years. We'll just see how long I can be bothered to make this chapter.
Okay: Painting Flowers: All Time Low
I Hate My Life- Theory Of A Dead Man.
Poppin' Champagne- All Time Low.
Remembering Sunday- All Time Low.
At Your Funeral – Saves The Day.
Freakish-Saves The Day.
Empty With You- The Used.
Fallen- Death In The Park,
Hello Hello- Paramore,
Fences- Paramore.
Gerard. I need to talk to you...call me. No, that was stupid. So I deleted it. I needed this to be perfect... did I? Why was I still chasing after him...?
"Blake, I'm going to the cinema, wanna join?" Jason asked halting my train of thought.
"No, I need to do some work..." I sighed. It turned out, Jason and I were both going to SVA... and we had been put in the same college accommodation. Yay! Woah, could you feel the sarcasm? I mean- Jason's great; he's been my friend for years, but it was awkward as fuck. It had been around 2 months since the guys had left. The girls had gone out to see them once, but I decided not to go. I would have just been a third wheel. I closed my laptop and fell onto my bed. I was so behind on work it was crippling, but I just couldn't think of anything to inspire me. I closed my eyes. Blackness swarmed around me. Burning me.
GERARD
I paced up and down the lane outside our van. My phone tightly in my hand. What was I supposed to say?
"Gerard, c'mon! We're on!" Mikey called. Gigs were a blur, soon this tour would end and we'd go on Warped, we'd write an new album and we'd go on tour with some other bands. That's what I figured. I hadn't seen Blake since we'd left. Sure we'd emailed, texted and talked over the phone, but it wasn't the same. The worst part was, it was awkward. We were tip toeing around our feelings and memories as if they were venom. As I ran on the stage, the crowd jeered.
"Hey motherfuckers!" I said. Of course, that was my usual greeting.
"Here's a pretty little song called mother fucking Cubicles!"
BLAKE
---4 months later----
"Coz my hand are steadily reaching for your fingers...
Trying to come up with words that linger...
Tell me how I'm gonna make it to the morning...
When the world is pushing me to the ground." I played numbly at my guitar, I could feel Jasons eyes on me. Burning through my flesh.
"You're amazing." He said simply. My cheek burned from embarrassment. My hands became sweaty, like they used to. I felt my throat go dry.
"And you're a hopeless romantic." I winked, but it didn't feel right; my heart was beating to fast. He smiled sheepishly as his body began to lower over mine, his nose rubbing against mine- our eyes transfixed into each others. It began to feel the same as it did.
"I think we could change that..." His whispered, still looking into my eyes. I wanted to feel bad, but I couldn't.
"Tell me what you're thinking..." He purred softly into my ear making me feel faint. My eyes raised from the pillow on the bed to his again.
"I'm thinking...that I want to kiss you."
"Then do it." I felt my arms gently rub against his chest, raising up to his neck before pulling his lips onto mine. I felt my weight push him back onto the bed; I straddled him, cheekily laughing as I got to know his body again. My hands were sure. It wasn't like before when it was all guessing work; I was more confident now. He seemed to like the way I nibbled at the corner of his ear as I gently massaged his inner thigh.
"Bear..." He giggled. I stopped as I hear my old nickname.
"What's wrong?" He asked, I smiled cheesily.
"You called me bear..." I smiled.
"That's because you're a savage." He laughed before pulling my lips back on his. His hand rode and rubbed up my back as I pulled my top of.
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
His eyes seemed to skim across me skin, peeling it of like a blade. I breathed out heavily, panting- looking up at the ceiling, the quilts covering me.
"I knew I'd have you again...it was fate." He whispered. My head turned to meet his, my eyes firmly on the bedclothes now. Fate.
I didn't believe in such a thing.
GERARD
----2 days later.--
"Don't come in!" I shouted as someone knocked at the bathroom door. I looked around panicked; trying to find a towel to mop up the blood dripping down my wrists. I could feel beads of sweat drip down the back of my neck like two racing beetles.
"Gee, I'm coming in! I need to pee!" I heard Frankie say before pulling open the door. I stared up at him and his shocked looking eyes.
"Close the door jackass!" I shout/whispered at him. He closed the door before turning back to me.
"Gerard what the fuck are you doing." He bent down and examined my wounds. I pulled them away from his sight.
"Nothing!" I said jumping up. Humiliated that he had saw me like this.
"Gerard- I thought you were over this!" He exclaimed. I opened the bathroom door to see all the other guys staring at the bathroom door confused, Ray opened his mouth to ask something but I just ignored him and ran out of the hotel room, my scissors in my hand. My cheeks were bright red. I hated him... I looked around dazed at the hall full of people before dodging between them- I ran back to the van and sat myself inside it, my head slumped back. I let out a sharp scream, my fist thumping against the glass. My eyes drifted down to the pills jammed in the back seat pocket. I could almost hear it calling to me. I ran a hand through my hair, before looking around shakily. My breath was so shaky, my eye fluttering- blood dripping down my am. I couldn't cope like this anymore... I let out a sorrowful gulp before pulling my knees up to my chest and slept. When I next woke up, all I knew was the ca was moving. Then that the car was full of people.
"Where the fuck are we?" I asked Mikey who was texting on his phone, he only briefly looked at me before saying:
"We had to pack up and go to the next joint- didn't wanna wake you..." He mumbled something along those lines before looking down to his side kick.
"Well look who's awake" Frank said bitterly, I shot him a look- hoping he hadn't told any of the others, as if he had read my mind he quickly shook his head. I felt myself, sub consciously check that my long sleeves were down- of course they were- they always 'were.'
"Oh my god, guess what Alicia just told me?" Mikey said, looking in my direction.
"What?" I mumbled moving around sorely.
"Blake's got a new boyfriend." He said.
"What?" I asked confused, piercing my eyes into his phone.
"That Jason dude... they're going out..." Mikey mumbled.
"Ouch, sorry dude..." Bob said hesitantly, directing it toward me.
"Meaning?" I asked.
"Well...It's Blake, y'know?"
"And...?" Bob looked around at all the others who were staring down awkwardly...
"Urrr...Nothing. Nothing." Bob said before looking down, I sighed and rested my head against the window eager to get out of this car and away from the prying eyes of my band mates.
"You okay Gee?" Frank asked, I shot him a look.
"No, but I would be if people could leave me alone!" I stabbed at him before closing my eyes tightly.
BLAKE
I felt my eyes flick from the lecturer, my notes to Jason sitting next to me- The swelling darkness of the auditorium only made it more daring, more fantastic and compelling. The darkness in my mind didn't. It never did. The frustration of in clarity burned away at me- I could feel his hand move around my body. Passion was cast aside and the impracticalities of sweat and grime disgusted me.
"C'mon, stop it! I'm trying to listen!" I said giggling, but still sternly.
"Yeah, yeah!" Jason chuckled before placing his lips on mine. My phone stared to play loudly. Everyone looked at me in the auditorium. I blushed.
"Ms Reed, if you're going to answer that, please answer that." The teacher called hoarsely. I sighed, got up and walked into the hall outside before answering.
"Hello?" I said, pressing my phone to one ear and my hand to the other, blocking out the other sounds.
"Blake! I really need to talk to you..." I heard Frank say.
"Frank I'm really busy right now!"
"I know, but it's about Gerard!" Soon as he said his name, I felt the need to end the convocation immediately.
"Gee's a big boy, he can handle himself." I muttered before quickly saying bye and hanging up. I breathed out heavily. My eyes hurt so much. I just wanted to lay my head on a pillow and depart into a nice, long slumber.
You've got me poppin' champagne
I'm at it again
Caught up in the moment
But not in the right way
I'm falling in between
Tearing up at the seams
We're just aiming to please
And aesthetics don't hurt one bit
So follow me down
Take this all the way
Any way you want to
Why don't you say so?
I think I'm caught in between
The nights and days fly by
When I'm lost on the streets
And my eyes, they despise you for who I am
Why don't you say so?
Why don't you say so?
You've got me thinking that
Lately I've been wishing
The television set would show me more
Than just a picture of the things I've grown to detest
I strip down my dignity
They can take all of me
But they won't ever take what I still believe
So follow me down
Take this all the way
Any way you want to
Why don't you say so?
I think I'm caught in between
The nights and days fly by
When I'm lost on the streets
And my eyes, they despise you for who I am
Why don't you say so?
Why don't you say so?
Give up and let go
I'm just a boy with a dream
And you can take one look
As I fall in between
With my eyes just as wide as my mouth can be
Why don't you say so?
Why don't you say so?
I know, I know, I know
That there's a place for me somewhere out there
I know, I know, I know
That there's a place for me somewhere out there
Why don't you say so?
I think I'm caught in between
The nights and days fly by
When I'm lost on the streets
And my eyes, they despise you for who I am
Why don't you say so?
Why don't you say so?
Give up and let go
I'm just a boy with a dream
And you can take one look
As I fall in between
With my eyes just as wide as my mouth can be
Why don't you say so?
Why don't you say so?
I'm sorry this is such a late and short chapter. I've been really swamped by...shit, recently. Lmao. I hope you enjoyed.
THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE BEAUTIFUL IERO TWINS (TO BE) AND THEIR AMAZING PARENTS!