I'm sorry for the delay, my comp broke sorry I couldn't update. Flyleaf: Arise.

I'm dedicating this to my good friend E because, well I don't wanna go into great detail but she's going through a tough time right now. No thanks to shit breath, lol.

I breathed in shallowly as Alicia knocked on the door.

And again.

And again.

1, 2, 3... my teeth and gums rubbing against each other.

What are you supposed to say? To do? How are you to react in this situation? What can you tell them?

What can you say to someone you were so close to and now so far from? What do you say to someone you just talked out of suicide?

And this isn't a rhetorical question.

I really did try and find an answer. We stood outside the MCR dressing room, Alicia, Jamia, Christa, Kaitlin and I and watched as Alicias hand knocked on the plastic looking door, excitement brimming through us.

The door opened to a smiling, but worn looking Mikey. His face lit up as he saw Alicia.

"Baby !" he said wrapping his arms around her before letting the other girl in who all seemed to fly into the arms of their (possibly in ) significant others. I watched the scene with an air of regret, lurking behind the door. The small room they were all crammed in seemed to be alight in my mind except for the corner where Gee was sitting was head hung down as he watched the merry couples, his fingers tied. My heart thudded. He looked up, his eyes fixed with mine. He smiled. Then Frank saw me.

"Blake!" He almost screamed as he jumped up and gave me a hug.

Then it shattered, the sort of crystallised fragile state of mind.

"Damn you're looking good." He laughed pulling away.

"Oi!" Jamia laughed along with the others.

"You're hair is...orange." Bob chucked.

"Yep, I'm officially the new flying tomato, I just have to develop some awesome snowboarding skills." I giggled, I smiled un willingly, my mind threatened by a brooding melancholy. I followed through the proceedings of giving them all hugs and smiling. Until I looked down to the only member who hadn't got up to see me. I sat down next to him. My eyes searching for his.

"Hey." He smiled looking up to me.

"Hey." I replied. There was a second of awkwardness between us before I felt his arms wrap around me.

"Oh god, I've missed you." I said into my neck, I hugged him back.

"So is that a hello?" I laughed pulling back taking a good look at him. He looked truly horrible. His hair was unwashed and uncombed and he had big black soldier around his eyes.

Another awkward pause...

"Are you...alright?" I asked, my tone changing.

"I'm better...thanks, for...y'know..." He said, looking me straight in the eye.

"It's okay..." I muttered. Silence.

"Okay fuck this, We've had to put up with this tension all year and I'll be damned if it's going to spoil today, so look alive." Mikey laughed, I laughed too.

"Any ways, what about to Jason boy? When are we going to see him so we can beat him up?" Bob asked in a mischievous tone.

"You're not beating him up!" I said strongly.

"Oh please don't say your back with him!" Mikey moaned, I blushed.

"Of course not, he's just not worth it!" I exclaimed, embarrassed.

"So what we gonna do now?" Ray asked with a smile.

"I'm going to whip your asses at halo!" I laughed running over to the xbox and throwing a controller to Gee.

"Oh really?"

"Really!" I said challengingly.

----------------------------------------------------------------- 5 minutes later

I jumped around doing my victory dance.

"I beat you. Didn't I? I beat you! You're the loser!" I chanted running in a circle around Gee. He stared at me.

"How did you do that?" He asked.

"I'm a student! I have hours to hone my gaming skills!" I laughed.

"I know this sounds so old, but do you remember when we were in high school and we were searching for you after hours and we found you stuffed in a locker?" Mikey asked. I shook my head.

"That was the worst day ever. I was in there for god knows how long and people kept shoving shit through the vents..." I laughed.

"Yeah, then I went a beat up that ass who stuffed you in there..." Gee said flicking a strand of hair away from his eyes.

"One of your more helpful moments!" I laughed.

"Well I can most certainly remember some of your helpful moments." He winked. They guys all laughed, not knowing it was not ALL front.

"What, like the time we made out at Rays 20th?" I asked.

"What?" Ray shouted out astounded. Gee buried his face in his hands...

"And I thought it was all forgotten..." He gulped.

"Ewww...That's wrong..." Mikey moaned.

"Well it most certainly didn't feel like it at the time, but that might have just been all the beer you were THRUSTING down me." I said, taking care to make the word 'thrusting' stand out. Frank and bob were almost doubled over with laughter.

"And you were only 16!" Frank laughed, grabbing his side.

"Wow, you've just got back and I'm already embarrassed." Gee said shaking his head.

"You think you're embarrassed? I'm the one who made out with you!" I said. Mikey patted me on the shoulder approvingly, in stitches.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that!" Gee announced.

"What ever..." I giggled. The door opened and Worm's head peaked around it.

"Guys you need to come and do your sound checks!" He said. I looked around unsure of what to do. It was still a couple of hours before people would be let in. They all got up and filed out.

"C'mon...girls!" Gerard said with a smirk. I smiled and got up. Things had started to seem like normal again, but the band was still a bit shaky after Gees addictions...Geez, I remember being on the phone to him for 5 straight hours one day during that week he got sober. Let's just say, it wasn't the most friendly of chats.

Turns out, turning aint that interesting. I sat watching them for a bit...but soon my attention was drawn towards other things, mainly memories; being with the guys was taking a long trip down memory lane and trust me, there were a lot of them, ranging from playing dungeons and dragons with Gee too having a cry-athon with Ray as we watched the Titanic and ate marshmallows. All the other girls looked up in delight at their boyfriends prancing around on the stage.

"Blake? Bl-aaa-ke?" Mikey said, waving his hand in front of my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"They're letting people in now, so we have to go, but Worm will take you down to the pit and make sure you get to the front." He told me. I nodded and followed worm out to the stadium and watched as the crowds flooded in.

lightstream
down beside me
lead on
these promises, i keep
daydream
everything you knew
take heart
it's coming back for you

baby, don't crack tonight
when the tears are falling down
it's hard to wipe them away
but don't you ever go and
run run run
like your mother did
when she was
young young young
and you were a kid
now you're
finding it hard to sleep
seems there's not enough air
for you to breathe
but don't you ever go and
run run run
like your mother did
when she was
young young young
and you were a kid

two days
will bring another week
sometimes
i feel i'm on repeat
fall back
weightless, undone
gather up
now you're home

As promised we were right in the front. Lic had her hands wrapped around me as we screamed with excitement as Jamia was getting two guys to lift her up for a better view.

Hordes of fans seemed to buzz around, it kind of kicked in how big they were really getting. It was sweltering hot in the mosh, leaving me feeling sweaty and hot.

"Blake, are you okay?" Christa asked cautiously. I nodded, feeling my skin burn as the pressure of the people behind us pushing us forward annoyed me. I watched the stage as music played in the background, comforting the awaiting fans. Suddenly a banour rolled down on the back of the set saying in capitals' MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE.' That was followed by many screams from girl, drool almost drowning them.

yuuucck.

Then I saw Gee look to the stage before running out, followed by Frank who seemed to be talking,

He grabbed the microphone, looking out at the audience and smiled.

"Well aren't you a fucking sexy crowd...I want to fuck you all!" he announced, screams before looking to me a pointed "Especially you, doll!" With a laugh. I grinned, my cheeks blushing.

"Now you motherfuckers... I want you to put you filthy ass hands together and get ready for MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!" He screamed. But I couldn't hear him to well, the swarms of bodies were pilying high onto me, heat burying me.

"Next song's Jetset Life..." That was the last thing I heard before I fainted.

GERARD

I knew it. It was 5 years ago, but it had still came back and bit me on the ass, trust Blake to spill it.

"So I didn't know you and Blake...you know..." Frank said quietly as we got ready to get on stage.

"PER-lease." I laughed as we walked on. I grabbed the microphone, looking out at the audience I smiled.

"Well aren't you a fucking sexy crowd...I want to fuck you all!" I announced, screams came from some girls. I located Blake in the front I pointed at her and smiled "Especially you, doll!" With a laugh. She grinned, he cheeks blushing.

"Now you motherfuckers... I want you to put you filthy ass hands together and get ready for MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!" I screamed. As we got further into our set the fans got wilder and wilder. Frank jumped from Bobs drums, kicking them over to beside me. He leaned in and whispered into my ear.

"Next song's Jetset Life..." I nodded and grinned at him, as he turned around I slapped his butt. He shot me a mischievous look and the crowd went ape.

"This next song is about me totally getting pregnant is this guys SUV. You should try it!" I looked around for Blake...I couldn't find her. The intro started to play, but I was still looking for Blake, that's when I saw the figure, beneath the mosh, being trampled on.

"FUCK!" I said, it was Blake. I jumped into the crowd. The guys stared at me as I did so. I pushed some people out of the way to find Blake lying at the bottom of the pile. Alicia helped me pull up her limp body as the rest of the guys freaked out and started running around wildly, leaving but Mikey to announce the show was over.