This Girl's Smile Chapter 27: I Love You, a parodies and spoofs fanfic

Here's another song request: My Chemical Romance- We Don't need another song about California. It doesn't go with the chapter, but it's really good.

Ed Sheeran- Little Bird goes well with chappie. :D

OMG OMG OMG THANKIE THANKIE THANKIE FOR AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING REVIEWS!

I love you.

The words that replay over and over in my head. I can still hear his firm voice telling me it. We leave the party in the early hours of the morning. The roads are empty and the sapphire skies are painted with brilliant gleams of orange and pink. The night is cool and still, the trees stand tall and the blades of grass are undisturbed by wind. I sit, utterly silent, in the car. So still is the air, so uninterrupted that it seems to have become thick between us. Our bodies separated by this, thick lethargic barrier of air. We need to speak, we know it, but there's this unspoken rule that we're waiting. Waiting until we're home.

So I watch the empty pavement run and run away behind me and the December trees reach towards me and all the little houses and all the little post boxes blur into one mess of euphoric colour. It looks so perfect, this empty home for thousands. My eyes, switch over to Gerard. He's fascinated by the escaping chalked lines of the road beneath us. He sucks on his gum, hollowing his cheeks as he concentrates.

"I feel sorry for Mikey and Lic, their house is going to be trashed by tomorrow."

"Irreconcilably so." Gerard said with a smirk. I'm struggling to think of something to say, anything appropriate to this situation, but fail to do so.

As we pull into the street, I breathe out heavily. I'm going to need it. The car stops and Gee jumps out and walks over to my side and opens the door. He leans against the open door, looking to the floor for a second before raising his gaze to me.

"Why don't we leave the wheelchair in the car for tonight? I'll get it in the morning." He says. I nod; I don't care in all honestly. He puts the key in his mouth, biting down on the key ring. He leans forward and gently slides one arm under my knees and allows my back to lean against the other. He kicks the door closed. I pull the keys from his bite, smirking, and press the button to lock the car. I open the door using them too and he carries me upstairs. He lays me down on my bed, brushing strands of hair from my face. His eyes are searching my face, following each line with deliberate precision. I lie tense under him as he leans over me, but he stands up straight after a second to leave.

"Don't." I whisper, he eyes catch mine.

"I want you here with me." He silently climbs into bed, under the blankets. He wraps an arm around my neck and I lie into his. I take in his warmth and smell as he does so. I feel so secure with his body around me.

"I want this to work between us. I want us." I murmur truthfully from the safe confines of his grasp.

"I want that too." He hushes, his hands moving up and down my arms in a comforting motion.

"Just go to sleep. We'll speak about it in the morning."

GERARD

I don't sleep that night. Blake drifts of in my arms, but I'm left awake. My fingers want to stroke her and touch her and hold her and I feel like I need to breach this wall around each of us. She knows how I feel, but there is so much unsaid. I watch as the sun rises and with it I gently get up myself. I'm careful not to disturb Blake as I do so; I give her one last glance before walking through the corridor to my room. I let out a sleepy yawn as I sit down on my bed. I lift up my pillow and take out from under it my black book of songs. I had been writing all through touring, ready for the next album. Just before I tried to kill myself, I wrote a song about Blake. It wasn't well thought out, the lyrics tumbled about messily and the rhythm was messy, but there was something. I scanned over the first few lines 'Well when you go, don't ever think I'll make you turn to stay. And maybe when you get back, I'll be off to find another way. And after all this time that you still owe, you're still the good-for-nothing I don't know. So take your gloves and get out. Better get out, while you can.'

Looking back, it seems different, as if I was the one leaving her. I had been so angry about her moving on and dating Jason, when I had taken a trip across the country. I had left her by herself. I deep ball of self hatred formed in the pit of my stomach. That feeling you get when you're so utterly embarrassed by something you once did. I was so embarrassed I had blamed her and let everyone see. It was true though, neither of us loved each other like we had yesterday. This love had changed, it had grown and became a dependence. A vital drug in my blood stream, a life support machine. I flitted through the paper of my books, my eyes intensely focused on the lyrics I had once written in it. I had thought I was writing about the world, being different from any other band and not writing about love. I had been mistaken, I could find her in every page, every song, every line.

'I will not kiss you because the hardest part of this is leaving you.'

'Now I know that I can't make you stay, but where's your heart? But where's your heart?'

'Well is it hard understanding, I'm incomplete. A life that's so demanding, I get so weak. A love that's so demanding, I can't speak.'

'If I'm so wrong how can you listen all night long?'

It's so painfully obvious. It's always been her. I was just too stupid to realise. I've never stopped loving her since I saw her on that bench. With snow freckled all over her skin and her hair damp around her face. That scornfully look she gave me. How could I have not loved her?

I snap the book closed. My thumbs rub against its rough cover.

"Gerard?" I heard a soft voice dare to whisper aloud. My head rises, a smile comforting my face.

"I'm coming, honey." I say back. I get up and cast my black book of songs onto the bed before returning to Blake's room.

if we take this bird in, with its broken leg
we could nurse it, she said
come in side for a little lie down with me
and if we fall asleep it would be the worst thing.
but when i wake up, and your makeup is on my shoulder
and tell me if i lie down, would you stay now?
let me hold ya, ohh

But if i kiss you will your mouth read this truth
darling how i miss you, strawberry's taste how lips do
and its not complete yet, mustn't get our feet wet
cause that leads to regret, diving into soon.
and i'll owe it all to you, oh, my little bird

my little bird

if we take a walk out, in the morning dew
we can lay down, so i'm next you
come inside for a little home made tea
and if you fall asleep, then at least your next to me
and if i wake up, say its late love get back to sleep
i'm covered by nature and i'm safe now
underneath this oak tree, with you beside me

and i'll owe it all to you, oh, my little bird

my little bird

and of all this thing i'm sure of, i'm not quite certain of your love
you made scream but then i made you cry when i left that little bird with its broken leg to die

my little bird, whoa oh oh oh whoaa

my little bird

your my little bird...

BLAKE

We sit in the morning drinking coffee. I stir the tar like liquid around in its cup and blown in it.

"It won't make it any better." Gerard notes, I look up and smile awkwardly.

"Yeah, but it makes me feel a lot better." I laugh nervously.

"Blake..."

"Yes?" I say innocently.

"I think we should talk."

"Aren't we now?"

"Blake." He says seriously, I sigh and nod along.

"I told you last night I loved you and you said you loved me. What are we doing with this?"

"Well I was kind of hoping that the event to reoccur on a regular basis. You know, kissing, exchanging of flattery..." I am interrupted my Gerard 'serious' raised eyebrow.

"And is that your way of saying you want to go out with me?" He asks, a smile lighting up his face.

"Yes, it's my teenage girly, sweet way of saying I like you a lot." I say looking up timidly from his coffee. Gerard smirks, he positions himself so his shoulders are hunched up and his back in leaning closer forward to me. His neck croons out to me.

"I think we have established that I like you a lot, too." He chuckles as his lips graze mine.

"Kiss me." I say, casting aside any notions of caution. He leans back slightly, his mouth opening slightly. He brings his hands to my neck and eases me closer to him, our eyes never leaving each others gaze. Our noses touch and then our lips. It's timid and frightening at first, but as his grips tightens and our chests press together I let myself go. My lips suck along his, my hands exploring his hair. He lets out a slight moan, which almost makes me go insane. I retreat. I stare at him with shock.

"How did this happen?" I ask in confusion.

"God?" He questions.

"Luck?" I snort. He bites his lip, containing another smile.

"You don't believe in God, I don't believe in luck."

"What shall we do about that?" I ask, my voice teasing.

"Just let someone else figure it out, we have too much going on." He says honestly before he leans forward kissing me again. That was it. I had lost myself in this already.