Hi! Sorry this took so long! School is death, even if I do get out early now that I'm a senior. Yup, only one more year!
This chapter is told entirely in Kakashi's point of you, and is over 10,000 words. Anyway, so, there are a long of canon situations that start out canon before trilling off to Kakashi-created adjustments. There was something else I was going to say before I forgot. Goddammit, I'm tired.
Also, think I should throw in a pairing? Or at least a crush? Nothing big, and not the whole point of the story, but I've never written anything remotely romantic before, since Conversations of Prideful Fool's is more just fucked up than anything else.
Oh! Remembered what I was going to say (which means I should technically just go back and delete that sentence, but I'm lazy at the moment). Important: Would you guys totally kill me if I doubled up on stories? This'll still be priority and whether or not I start a new one purely rests on your guys (so lurkers, you review on this too!). I want to write a Naruto OC story somehow involving Kakashi, because he's my current character obsession. I have a few different ideas, one involving a second gen Naruto, another involving an AU with all Naruto characters and one OC, and one OC thrown into the canon Naruto verse just because I can. None of them necessarily need to be romance, and suggestion can be throw into that, too, to help further plot and whatnot. What do you guys think? And if so, should I do second gen, AU, or canon? I have a guy OC and girl OC, choice is all up to you.
Disclaimer: Just borrowin'.
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Chapter Six
It was official: Kakashi hated dormitories.
It wasn't just the close proximity that did, either, though that played a big factor. The night before, he hadn't been lying when he told Dumbledore that he was a natural insomniac, but that didn't mean he was fine with hearing loud noises all night. One of his roommates snored all night, and front the inflection and distance, he was guessing it was Neville. Another one, probably Seamus, tossed and turned all night. Also, he did sleep at night, though it was more of a catnap where he was still fully aware of his surroundings, just letting his body get some rest. But the night before he got no sleep at all, resulting in a headache the next morning. And that wasn't even the worse part.
Changing was. Back in Konoha he lived on his own, and before that he lived with Minato-sensei since it was basically agreed upon that growing up alone in his family's house wasn't such a smart idea, and there he had his own room. Though not it wasn't as bad as it was on some shinobi, his body was still littered with scars that he figured was a bad idea to let the other boys see. And he also didn't want them to spot Orochimaru's mark, as it was going to lead to questions he didn't feel like making up a lie for yet. But the absolute worst was having to remove the bandages from his face and replacing it with his forehead protector. He had a rather rational fear of someone seeing, and news of the scar could spread like wildfire in a place like this. Hell, if it could travel to the bingo books before the Third Great Shinobi War was even over, then it could definitely get around a school in less than a day.
"You coming, Kakashi?" asked Ron after Dean and Seamus made their exit.
With a yawn, the silver-haired boy answered, "Yeah," and came around the side of the bed, finishing the knot on the forehead protector, hair still damp from his shower. "Let's go."
"You look exhausted, mate," said Ron; Harry stayed silent, face stormy. Not a good morning at all.
Shrugging, he said, "Neville snores."
"You get used to it." The headache Kakashi had from a sleepless night was telling him he wasn't getting used to it any time soon. "He's been doing it since he was eleven, so Harry and I have had a lot of practice blocking out."
"What's the matter?" asked Hermione as she caught up to them halfway across the common room. "You look absolute—oh, for heaven's sake."
Kakashi followed her gaze and discovered what the Weasley twins were hanging up last night. Honestly, he didn't seen the harm in it. For one, it directly said it was at the applicant's own risk, and it wasn't voluntary either, rather a paid position. Therefore, how exactly did it fall under jurisdiction of prefect?
"They are at the limit," Hermione was saying, taking it down. "We'll have to talk to them, Ron."
"Why?" asked Ron, looking as confused as Kakashi felt.
"Because we're prefects!" The four of them climbed over the portrait whole and out into the hallway. "It's up to us to stop this kind of thing!" Her answer was silence. Then she looked to her other friend and added, "Anyway, what's up, Harry? You look really angry about something."
When Harry didn't reply, Ron told her, "Seamus reckons Harry is lying about You-Know-Who."
"Yes, Lavender thinks so too," she said with a sigh.
"Been having a nice little chat with her about whether or not I'm a lying, attention-seeking prat, have you?" Anger, apparently, was not something Harry got over quickly
"No," answered Hermione, "I told her to keep big fat mouth shut about you actually. And it would quite nice if you stopped jumping down Ron's and my throats, Harry, because if you haven't noticed, we're on your side."
After a short said, Harry mumbled, "Sorry."
"That's quite all right. Don't you remember what Dumbledore said at the end-of-term feast last year?" When they didn't reply, she said, "About You-Know-Who. He said, 'His gift for spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bound of friendship and trust—"
Ron cut her off with, "How do you remember stuff like that?"
"I listen."
"So do I, but I still can't tell you exactly what—"
"The point," Hermione said impatiently, "is that this sort of thing is exactly what Dumbledore was talking about. You-Know-Who's only been back two months and we've started fighting among ourselves. And the Sorting Hat's warning was the same—stand together and be united—"
"And Harry said it last night, if that means we're supposed to get matey with the Slytherins, fat chance."
"You really hate each other, don't know?" said Kakashi, shaking his head. "You're acting like you're at war or something. It's just school."
Ron threw him a dirty look which he pointedly ignored. Hermione said, "Well, I agree. I think it's a pity that we're not trying for a bit more inter-House unity."
As they reached the end of the staircase, a line of Ravenclaws passing by caught sight of Harry and quickly formed a tighter ground, like they were frightened he was going to out and attack them or something. Really, the susceptibility of these kids was ridiculous. Harry, who he had to admit was rightfully annoyed, sarcastically said, "Yeah, we really ought to be trying to make friends with people like that."
Next to him, Hermione sighed, "I know, I know," she said. "And going back to the subject of dormitory discussions, Kakashi, we need to talk."
He looked at her blankly. "Why?"
"Oh, come here." She motioned for the three boys to follow her in the direction of an unused classroom. Both Ron and Harry didn't look too happy about missing some of their breakfast, but Kakashi couldn't care less, more wary about how Hermione worded her earlier statement. Once she hurried them inside, she shut the door, turned to him, and said, "What are you going to do about your eye?"
His face and voice immediately wiped of even the smallest traces of emotion. "What're you talking about?" he asked.
She looked around nervously. "Well, you see, after I told them to shut up about Harry, they started talking about you—not to me, but the way they were saying everything heavily implied that they wanted me to tell them something, as I obviously knew you beforehand. And, er, well, they were saying how mysterious you were and everything with your eye covered and decided to make it their mission to find out what you were hiding. Mind, this is relatively normal for them, they always have some plot or another when it comes to a boy—slightly unnerving, actually—but what I mean to say is are you going to tell people who ask? Leaving it alone only works for so long here…"
He. Hated. Girls.
"So no, mind your business?" he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Hermione shook her head. "Well, I don't know. It isn't their business."
"Er, can you at least tell us?" asked Harry, and it took a lot of willpower to lash out because it really was his own business. Instead, he sighed, and decided it was in his best interest to lie.
"Look," he said, "I'll tell you eventually, just…not right now, okay?" Like he was ever going to let them know, but hell, he could give them hope. "I don't know, what's something people will believe?"
Hermione, it seemed, had been giving this some thought, because she answered, "Say you're blind in one eye because spell you practiced in class back in Japan."
"Um, but couldn't that be reversed?" he said, figuring that in actuality, the truth of being blind in one eye was a pretty good idea. "And I don't know any spells that cause it but Conjunctivitis, and a school nurse could heal with a counterjinx."
"Say a Quidditch accident," said Ron. "Some of the best players in the world have had to quit national teams because of eye injuries."
He nodded. "Okay, then I'm blind because of a Quidditch accident. Bludger to the face?" After talking about it twice yesterday, he learned all the terminology.
"Sure. Okay then."
"Now," said Hermione, sounding satisfied, "let's go eat something."
The four exited the classroom, heading to the Great Hall, Harry, Ron, and Hermione already chattering on about classes.
Are you going out tonight?
Yes.
Are you going to carve a tree for me and Obito?
Yes. And Minato-sensei. But…not until tonight.
Well, duh. What're you going to do if Umbridge catches you outside?
Make her forget out, I guess. The wonders of genjutsu.
What're you going to do if the kids find out about your eye?
What is this, question day?
I'm just wondering.
Sorry, tired. The beds might be comfortable, but the snoring three beds down isn't.
I think you're supposed to be eating, not staring down at your empty plate.
I'll eat later, after I ask Fred and George about the kitchens.
Fine, fine. Just don't want you fainting of hunger or anything.
Rin, I've gone a month without eating. You really think a morning will do me in?
Hey, I'm a medic, I'm allowed to worry. Looks like schedules are coming your way.
Oh, great. I'll talk to you later.
Minerva walked by, placing schedules in front of her students one by one. When he looked down at his, he almost groaned in frustration. He went all three weeks of summer getting descriptions and anecdotes about the teachers, and he saw that Mondays were officially the worst day of the week. Not a single class was one he was remotely interested in.
"Look at today!" said Ron, also staring down at his schedule, face awash with horror. "History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and double Defense Against the Dark Arts…Bins, Snape, Trelawney, and that Umbridge woman all in one day! I wish Fred and George'd hurry up and get those Skiving Snackboxes sorted…"
From behind them, Fred said, "Do mine ears deceive me?" He and his twin squeezed into the bench between Kakashi and Ron, too close for comfort. "Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons?"
"Look at what we've got today," said Ron, handing over the schedule. "That's the worst Monday ever."
"Fair point, little bro," said Fred, reading it over. Then he sighed dramatically. "Terrible way for Kakashi here to spend his first day in Hogwarts. You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you'd like."
"Why's it cheap?" asked Ron as Kakashi acknowledged that Fred was absolutely right.
Happily enough, George answered, "Because you'll keep bleeding til you shrivel, we haven't got an antidote yet."
Bet I could come up with one.
Yeah, probably.
"Cheers," said Ron with a frown, "but I think I'll take the lessons."
Suddenly Hermione jumped in with, "And speaking of your Skiving Snackboxes, you can't advertise for testers on the Gryffindor notice board."
"Says who?" said George, blinking rapidly in shock.
"Says me. And Ron."
Quickly, Ron said, "Leave me out of it," which only got him a glare in answer.
"You'll be singing a different tune soon enough, Hermione," said Fred as he smeared butter on his, as Kakashi learned it was called, crumpet. "You're starting your fifth year, you'll be begging us for a Snackbox before long."
"And why would starting fifth year mean I want a Skiving Snackbox?"
"Fifth year's O.W.L. year," answered George.
"So?"
"So you've got your exams coming up, haven't you?" said his twin. "They'll be keeping your noses so hard to the grindstone they'll be rubbed raw."
Kakashi, for all the gore and death and deformations he'd seen, did not like the mental image.
George added, "Half our year had minor breakdowns coming up to O.W.L.s. Tears and tantrums…Patricia Stimpson kept coming over faint…"
"Kenneth Towler came out in boils, d'you remember?" said Fred.
"That's 'cause you put Bulbadox Power in his pajamas."
Fred smiled. "Oh yeah. I'd forgotten…Hard to keep track sometimes, isn't it?"
"Anyway, it's a nightmare of a year, the fifth." Oh, absolutely joyful. Naturally the year he had to be in. Even if he wasn't in school for real, he still needed to do the work as only two teachers knew that he wasn't actually an exchange student. What type of work did they do here anyway? Writing and practical tests, obviously, like the academy, but their homework was to go out and practice, not sit down and do…schoolwork-things. "If you care about exam results anyway. Fred and I managed to keep our spirits up somehow."
"Yeah," said Ron, "you got, what was it, three O.W.L.s each?"
"Yep," answered Fred like it was no big deal. "But we feel our futures lie outside the world of academic achievement."
"We seriously debated whether we were going to bother coming back for our seventh year," added George, "now that we've got—" He broke off, look at Harry, then quickly said, "Now that we've got our O.W.L.s. I mean, do we really have to take our N.E.W.T.s? But we didn't think Mum could take us leaving school early, not on top of Percy turning out to be the world's biggest prat."
"We're not going to waste out last year here, though," said Fred, looking around the Great Hall. "We're going to use it to do a bit of market research, find out exactly what the average Hogwarts student requires from his joke shop, carefully evaluate the results of our research, and then produce the products to fit the demand."
Though Hermione appeared to doubt their intelligence, Kakashi couldn't help but these two were geniuses. A different type of genius than him, of course, but to be able to come up with an extensive market plan at seventeen in a world that treated you like a child until about fifteen? Sure, they were doing it for a joke shop of all things, but their plan was absolutely brilliant, understand the necessity of cause and effect. Even the way Fred said sounded official, like something written on a business plan, meaning that they probably already had one drafted.
As they got up, saying something about selling Extendable Ears before Herbology, Kakashi remembered Dumbledore. He stood up quickly and tried to move at normal-person pace to catch up with them. "Wait," he said and when they slowed down, each faces an exact mirrored expression mild surprise, he continued, "Where are the kitchens?"
Fred tsked. "First day here and already asking to break the rules—"
"We should reporting you to Hermione, yes we should—"
"Why would you like to know?"
Though very intelligent business men, they had a really annoying way talking. He answered, very honestly, "I don't like British food. I guess Dumbledore already thought I wouldn't, so he gave some, uh, Japanese recipes to the house-elves incase I ever got hungry."
The two twins exchanged a look before George said, "Unfortunately, we have prior arrangements tonight, but I am sure Harry would be willing to tell you."
Then Fred added, "Will they make these recipes for any who ask—"
"Or only for you?"
Kakashi shrugged. "I don't know," he answered. "I don't care if you want some. Ask for ramen, bet they have that."
"Ramen?"
"Noodle soup," he answered, thinking that was the best way to describe it. "I don't like it, but the majority my school does."
Again, the twins looked to each other and nodded. "Methinks we were wrong, dear brother."
"Yes, methinks as well."
"Wait—what?"
Fred ruffled his hair, causing him to scowl. There were very, very few people in his life that could do that and not be killed for it, and the courtesy was not meant to extend to the Weasley boys. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it here in the Great Hall where students were milling about everywhere. Not waiting for the answer the twins looked about to give, he turned and headed back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, only to have them meet him halfway. Thankfully, Fred and George were gone.
"What was that about?" asked Harry as he joined them in the walk to History of Magic, which, according to them, meant naptime.
"I asked if they knew where the kitchens were," he answered, "and they said to ask you. Mind showing me later?"
"Sure," he said. "What for?"
Inwardly sighing of exasperation, he repeated, "I don't like British food—don't give that look, Ron, it's completely different than what I'm used to—so Dumbledore apparently gave the house-elves Japanese recipes for if I ever wanted to go down and ask for something that I actually tastes good."
"Ooo, can we have some?" said Hermione, smiling brightly.
God, he was too tired to deal with everyone right now. "I don't see why not," he answered. "The twins asked the same thing."
"Oh. Well, thanks, Kakashi."
As it turned out, History of Magic was every bit as boring as he was told. Not that he was complaining. He read the book already and felt no need to take notes. Instead he crossed his arms on the table and ducked his head, letting himself slip into that natural half-sleep that he should've gone into the night before. Within five minutes of the ghost teacher's lecture, the majority of the class was fully asleep, their breathing even. Next to him, Hermione was awake, every once in a while, her quill sweeping over the parchment. It was scratchy-sounding, not smooth like a brush or pen or pencil.
I can't believe you told Fred and George to try ramen!
Obito, I'm trying to sleep.
Eh, for you this practically is sleeping. Are you paying attention?
…No.
And your eyes are shut and you're breathing like a person who's sleeping. So, you're sleeping.
Brilliant deduction.
I try. I think it's creepy that a ghost is teaching.
Same. At least I know he's harmless. Peeves is the only ghost who can do anything.
But next you have that Snape person.
Ugh, don't remind me. It doesn't help that potions is the one thing I never practiced.
You actually need to practice something?
Oh, you know what I mean!
If I were you, I'd be worrying more about Umbridge.
Rin? What're you doing here?
Great, now the two of you are conversing each other.
It's the whole team! Of course we talk!
Not the whole team…
Damn. Two years later and you still don't know how to have fun?
Shut up. I want to sleep. Leave me alone.
Rin, I think we pissed him off—
GET OUT.
Later, when he looked back with the wisdom of hindsight, he would realize how ridiculous it was that now the voices in his head were actually talking to each other and not just him anymore. Insanity didn't suit him well at all.
When History of Magic finally finished, Kakashi helped Hermione shake Harry and Ron, waking them up out of the groggy haze of sleep. As they walked out of the classroom, Hermione said, "How would it be if I refused to lend you my notes this year?"
Ron answered, "We'd fail our O.W.L.s. If you want that on your conscience, Hermione…"
"Well, you'd deserve it. You don't even try to listen to him, do you?"
Ron and Hermione, Kakashi decided, really needed to stop arguing all the time.
"We do try," said Ron. "We just haven't got your brains or your memory or your concentration—you're just cleverer than we are—is it nice to rub it in?"
"Oh, don't give me that rubbish."
Holding back a yawn, Kakashi rubbed his eye, exhausted but restless and the same time. Though tired, he really wanted to get outside and train, which was his plan for that night—after getting food of course. No more tasteless English food…The first thing he was asking for was miso soup with eggplants.
After an excruciatingly painful-to-watch moment between Harry and Cho, only made that way from Ron (they took Quidditch way to seriously here), they finally made it to Potions. He smelt the classroom before he saw it, which was never a good sign. By the time they were actually in the classroom (Ron and Hermione still bickering, of course), Kakashi was trying very, very hard not to react the same why he did to Neville's Stinksap. Snape thought him weak enough already, and hell if people weren't curious about him; no need to make either opinion worse by having a cough attack because of smell.
"Settle down," said Snape as Kakashi took a seat at the back table at the end, Ron on his right. There was no real reason to tell them to settle down, considering that the entire room went silent with his entrance. He continued, "Before we begin today's lesson, I think it appropriate to remind you that next June you will be sitting an important test, during which you will prove how much you have learned about the composition and use of magical potions. Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect you to scrape an 'acceptable' in your O.W.L., or suffer my…displeasure." His eye focused for a moment of Neville; the boy didn't look happy. "After this year, of course, many of you will cease studying with me. I take only the very best into my N.E.W.T. Potions class, which means that some of will certainly be saying goodbye."
Snape, as many Gryffindors told him, did not keep it quiet who he liked and disliked. And it was very, very obvious that he didn't like Harry. He sneered, focusing on him noticeably. But at least, unlike Neville, Harry actually managed not to look completely intimidated; the glare he sent back wasn't too bad either. For a wizard.
The professor continued, "But we have another year to go before that happy moment of farewell, so whether you are intending to attempt N.E.W.T. or not, I advise all of you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high-pass level I have come to expect from my O.W.L. students."
Of all the years Kakashi had to pose as a student in, why did it have to be fifth? He didn't care about these tests. There wasn't a logical reason for his cover to do these tests. But he still had to do all the homework.
"Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be warned: If you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention to what you are doing." He flicked his wand at the board, and words appeared as he said, "The ingredients and method are on the blackboard, you will find everything you need in the store cupboard. You have an hour and a half…Start."
Kakashi's first thought: Well, this is easy—it's just following directions.
Kakashi's second thought: I can't read what that says at all.
Of course, he could read English. He hadn't been lying when he said that; he learned from it, so his reading comprehension was even better than his speaking ability. But everything he'd learned out of the textbooks, the front uniform. And Hermione's handwriting, which he had also been exposed to, was so neat it easily could've come out of a book, too. But Snape's? While it was neat or a wreck was debatable, but it certainly wasn't fully legible to a person who had seen handwriting only a few times.
Well, fuck.
But, there was a good solution to this. He pulled out the textbook he brought from class, knowing that if it was written on the board, then it was probably in here. The thing was huge, though, and not in alphabetical order, nor did it have an index, and it turned out that the Draught of Peace took up one side of a page, about three quarters of the way into the book. This, naturally, took ten minutes, when he was pretty sure they were given an hour and a half for a reason. The instructions, unfortunately, didn't have a designated time. And damn those stupid cutting knives they were given because a kunai could make a cleaner cut by far and that was what the instructions said to do! He frowned and pulled at the…bean things they needed, slicing them up and throwing them into the water. The fumes coming from all the cauldrons were starting to go to his head.
"Problem, Hatake?" said Snape from behind him as he awkwardly squeezed juice from the root thing. This would be followed by the spine things, and armadillo thing and…well, more and more things. Oh, and turns. A lot of turns. "I believe I put the instructions on the board for the class to see, or do you consider yourself too special to follow the directions like everyone else?"
While dealing with Snape wasn't something he particularly wanted to do at the moment, he reminded himself that at least he wasn't dealing with Mad-Eye and said, "Sorry, sir, but I can't read your handwriting."
Even if it was true, he made it sound like such a smart-ass comment the a few Gryffindors had to quickly stifle laughter. Snape's mouth curled into a sneer, and Kakashi, of course, didn't care in the slightest. "I was under the impression that you were fluent in English," he said, tight-lipped.
Again, it was probably just the numerous, terrible smells around him, but he was finding all of this very amusing. "I am," he said, "but that doesn't mean I can read your handwriting. Like on line three, it says 'add essence of basil root,' but I can't tell on the bored if your R is a C, and your Ss look a bit like Ds—which, in the word 'add' by the way, looks more like A's. Technically, I can read better than I can speak, but handwriting screws with letters. So, sorry, but I have to use the book."
The look of sheer fury on Snape's face was incredibly satisfying, especially since he could tell the man was working in his head how to turn that statement around make it his fault. Evidently he couldn't find anything wrong with Kakashi's (very true) logic because he snapped, "Get back to working; you have one hour."
He followed instructions, leaning down to read the small print every once in a while to double check the directions, the steam billowing out of the cauldrons making it difficult for him to see. Ron's potion was steadily taking on the smell of rotted eggs, and Goyle's smelled like sulfur and burned skin—a smell that Kakashi was unfortunately very familiar with. Other potions were beginning to take on other disgusting smells as well, in the early stages of forming, but he knew that by the end of this, he wouldn't be able to think straight for at least an hour.
If there wasn't a window open in his next class, he was screwed.
With ten minutes to go, Snape announced, "A light silver vapor should now be rising from your potion."
Kakashi, who was in the middle of stirring those last few counterclockwise turns, didn't need to look up to know everyone's potion was completely screwed over. Ron's officially smelled like rotten eggs, which made him nauseous as hell; it didn't help that they were right next to each other. Every few minutes or so, he couldn't help it and started coughing, causing a few of the turns to become a little jerking. Despite this, the only person who did better than him was Hermione, whose looked absolutely perfect. His was about a shade darker than hers, but not much. Ron kept throwing him glares.
Seems like even you aren't good at everything, said Obito, cackling with laughter.
Blame the kid next to me. I did everything right, 'cept those turns.
Jeez, take some responsibility. You totally fucked up.
No I didn't! I followed all the directions and did everything right!
"Potter," said Snape, standing directly behind Harry, who stood on Ron's right, "what is this supposed to be?"
At least it isn't you he's doing scary eyes to.
Scary eyes? Really, Obito?
Hey, I couldn't think of anything else. 'Sides, they think it's scary.
"The Draught of Peace," Harry was saying.
"Tell me, Potter, are you also incapable of reading?"
Ooo, that burns.
Not really. Though, I'm getting a feeling this is my fault.
Why wouldn't it be? You're the one who pissed him off.
Not helping.
Hey, you said it first!
Didn't mean you had to agree with me…
"Yes, I can."
"Read the third line of the instructions for me, Potter."
You know, Snape's a bit of a jackass.
Y'think?
"'Add powdered moonstone, stir three times counterclockwise, allow to simmer for seven minutes, then add two drops of syrup of hellebore.'"
Aw, poor kid looks miserable.
Great, now my conscious is deciding to be sympathetic.
…You do know that's the purpose of a conscious, right?
Kakashi had no answer.
"Did you do everything on the third line, Potter?"
"No."
"I beg your pardon?"
So this what Harry meant about Snape antagonizing him specifically.
Ugh, even in your own head you use big words.
"No," said Harry, just loud enough that the room could hear, Snape's intention all along. "I forgot the hellebore."
None of those count as 'big words' I think.
Shouldn't you be paying more attention to your charge being tortured?
Eh, Snape's in the Order. I don't think I'm allowed to do anything.
Except to be a smartass.
Yeah, but that's different.
Really?
"I know you did," said Snape with his I'm-a-self-righteous-bastard voice, "which means that this mess is utterly worthless. Evanesco."
Okay, maybe not. Shame I still can't do anything.
That was the most apathetic voice I've heard in a long time.
Then apparently all the smells in the room cause a personality change.
Snape was saying, "Those of you who have managed to read the instructions—" He sent Kakashi a dirty look. "—fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly—" And another glare. "—with your name, and bring it up to my desk for testing. Homework: twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday."
More like a regression.
Hey, I'm trying.
I know. But still.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
He took his flagon and filled his pretty much well done potion, and tried to ignore the angry look on Harry's face when he joined the trio of friends to walk down to the Great Hall for lunch. If this was a regression back to his old apathy (though, in truth half the time it was faked), then why did he feel so bad about it? Well, besides the fact that because he pissed Snape off, the man was being worse than usual, and already despised Harry, so he took it all out on—
Whoa, slow down. This time it isn't even me who's making you think that stuff.
Don't rub it in.
Rub what in? That you actually like someone?
I liked you. And Rin. And Minato-sensei.
Yeah, but that was kinda a given.
Not really.
If you say so. Now go skedaddle and make you newfound friend feel better.
He's not my friend!
"That was really unfair," said Hermione as they all sat down. Kakashi grabbed some potatoes and a crumpet with apricot jam, one of the few things he that he actually liked. "Your potion wasn't nearly as bad as Goyle's, when he put it in his flagon the whole thing shattered and set his robes on fire."
"Smelled like burning hair the entire time he was making it," said Kakashi, not bothering to hide his wince of remembrance. All three turned to stare at him. He sipped his pumpkin juice and shrugged. "What? It's true."
"Must not have added the basil root," said Hermione with a nod, as if they all knew what she was talking about, which of course none of them did. Kakashi, who'd read through the entire book two times over, knew that it said absolutely nothing what happened to that particular potion (which only had page on it) if you didn't add in a specific ingredient. Snape knew, of course, but that was because he actually taught the subject.
"Okay," he said, shaking his head. "So, was that exceptionally bad today?"
With a dejected sigh and a nod, he answered, "He's horrid prat in general, but this was just…"
Then he blurted out, "I'm sorry," and blinked in surprised.
Wow, so I wasn't wrong.
They aren't my friends!
If you say so.
Well, I do.
"What for?" asked Harry.
"The handwriting thing," he said, already hating himself for apologizing. For all he knew, Snape was planning on being that unfair all night and it had nothing to do with him. But this fits my fake personality, he reminded self quickly followed by Rin saying, I'm pretty sure you'd get a perfect score if there was a class on self-denial. "I just, well, you know, he didn't look to happy. And, since I'm who I am, he technically can't get back at me, so it seems like he took it out on you instead."
Many looks were exchanged back and forth between the three and he wondered for a moment if it was obvious how transparent he'd been, that he didn't really feel sorry—Really, Kakashi-kun, this is getting dangerous—all. Those momentary fears were dispersed when Hermione shrugged her shoulders and casually said, "We have a half hour of lunch left, you know. We could go down to the kitchens."
"Wait, what?"
Ron laughed and clapped him on the shoulder before standing, his two friends following. "It means don't worry about it, mate."
"Besides," said Harry, smile a bit strained but not overly so, "eating in the middle of the day makes more sense than in the middle of the night. Just…get us something good to eat, right?"
"Yeah," he said, still trying to figure out what just happened.
This was the type of moment that Harry usually blew up because it was also that time where Hermione and Ron got into another argument. And then they got pissed off at him who got pissed off at them and sometimes they even got pissed off at each other, too. When those little moments popped up, Kakashi was very strongly reminded of the one time he encountered Anko and her friend on a day that they were both PMSing. Had his little interruption stopped one? But, right now he didn't want to think about that, because he had more important things to occupy his mind.
Important like eggplants in miso soup.
.
Divinations passed with the same amount of eventfulness as History of Magic—none at all—and the same effect on his brain that Potions had. She had perfume in the air or something, and it itched his nose and throat and lungs the entire time. Sure, when Trelawney saw that the new kid was in her class, she spewed some nonsense about how something terrible in his life was going to come back to haunt him a few days before winter break, but that was it. Especially since when he asked what this "something terrible" specifically was, she abruptly changed the subject and told them to read their textbooks on dreams and prophecies and whatnot.
Needless to say, Kakashi didn't pay much attention.
After an hour, the class ended and they headed dutifully off to Umbridge's nightmare of a class. With actually good food in his stomach, he found himself not dreading it as much as he had earlier, when he was hungry and tired and over all pissed off at himself and the situation around him. Of course he wasn't looking forward to it (because that was just impossible), but he was feeling truly, one hundred percent indifferent for the first time three weeks. Whatever it was that screwed with his head earlier was gone, leaving him back to his normal self, the emotions and friendship nonsense nothing but an act.
"D'you realize how much we've got already?" Ron said when they neared the classroom. "Binns set us a foot-and-a-half-long essay—"
"How does a ghost grade papers?" asked Kakashi suddenly. "I mean, they aren't corporeal, so they can't pick anything up, right?"
"Blimey, I never thought of it that way," said Ron. "Mind, I grew up my entire life as a wizard, so stuff like the felephone—"
"Telephone," Harry corrected.
"Yeah, that. Anyway, I find stuff like the telephone weird, but that? I don't know, I never bothered to think about it." He shrugged.
Harry said, "I've wondered before. But, you know, I never believed in ghosts before I came here, and I've seen stranger."
"So, what you're trying to say is that you have no idea?"
"Yes," said the two of them at the same time.
They reached the classroom and entered, and immediate this-is-the-library-so-shut-the-fuck-up feeling came falling in. No one said a word, staring up at the pink monstrosity who sat at her desk, scribbling on parchment with her pink feathered quill. For the rest of the class, Umbridge was unknown—strange, on first sight, but exact personality and teaching methods to be determined. But Kakashi told Harry, Ron, and Hermione about what he heard and inferred and from the apprehensive look the two boys sent his way, he knew they hadn't forgotten. They took a seat in the back, next to Hermione who attempted a weak smile and failed miserably.
Once the entire the entire class was seated, Umbridge looked up, put her poisoned honey smile on her face, and said, "Well, good afternoon class?"
It was that same patronizing voice she used during the feast. A few people gave her mumbled replies, but most of the class looked at her blankly, he and the three friends (because he refused to refer to them as his friends) included.
"Tut, tut," she said, "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"
"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," the class said, every voice lacking enthusiasm.
"There, now," she said, and he felt his hand twitch awfully close to his hidden weapon holster. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."
And they get angry when you don't scream and laugh when you do.
After the class followed instructions, she pulled out a wand that seemed shorter than a lot of the other ones he saw (So that's why it seems like she's compensating for something, said Obito and he struggled not to laugh) and tapped the blackboard once, like Snape did. Oh, joy. If it wouldn't be so attention causing, he would totally hit his head against the desk, because he couldn't read her handwriting either. The first part said Defense Against the Dark Arts, but that was partially guesswork, since her Fs didn't look like Fs, and her Ss didn't look like Ss and her Rs didn't look like Rs. Hermione, seeming to recognize his dilemma, sent him a sad smile of sympathy.
Umbridge turned, and in her fake voice said, "Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it? The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year.
"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Cope down the following, please."
Again, she tapped the backboard, and a jumbled of letters that were supposed to form words popped up. Kakashi was a genius; really, he should not be conquered by handwriting. How pathetic. He pretended to scribble it down, when in actually he doodling. Not very good doodling, since for all his talents, he did have his faults too. One was his complete inability to draw. Another was his inability to cook, having to live off instant things (not ramen) unless someone else cooked for him or he went out to eat (both of which were so rare it should've bothered him but didn't).
Umbridge asked, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" A few people mumbled an affirmative; Kakashi didn't say anything at all. "I think we'll try that again. When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
"Yes, Professor Umbridge," the room said, somehow managing to sound even less enthusiastic then before.
"Good. I should like you to turn to page five and reach chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."
Umbridge walked back to her desk and plopped down, leaving the students off to read, something almost no one was doing, even if they pretended. Kakashi went to go open the book and stopped, knowing that rereading that for the third time was just going to put him to sleep again. But what to do? He spun his quill around in his hand, looked at the parchment in front of him, and decided that he could doodle. Sure, for most people it made noise, but he already figured out that if the tip was put a little to right, pressed down lightly, and doused with ink, it didn't make a sound. Besides, she didn't appear to be looking up any time soon.
Of all the things to draw, why a tree? asked Obito.
It's easy to sketch and make look remotely okay. And it's time consuming.
Kakashi-kun, said Rin, if she looks over and your book isn't open…
Don't care.
W-what? Seriously? Don't talk to Rin-chan like that!
Um, Obito-kun, I can take care of myself.
But—whoa, you haven't yelled at us yet.
Why would I want to yell at you?
Ignore him.
H-hey! First him and now you?
Ooo, Hermione's raising her hand, Kakashi-kun.
What so interesting about raising—oh.
Bit slow there, boy genius.
Fuck you, Obito.
So cold and cruel, you are!
Stop speaking in inverse.
You, Kakashi, are the only boy I know who gets that tied up about grammar.
Yeah, but he's always been a little weird like that.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" said Umbridge, unfortunately pulling him from further, distracting conversation that was providing a great source of entertainment to slave off the boringness of it all.
"Not about the chapter, no," answered Hermione, and Kakashi wondered if he should stop this.
"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge, hints of anger starting to seep into her voice (because anger he knew immediately, even the most subtle signs). "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."
"I have a query about your course aim."
"And your name is—?"
"Hermione Granger."
"Well, Miss Granger," said Umbridge, "I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully."
"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly, seemingly completely out of character for her usual goody-two-shoes top student attitude. "There is nothing up there about using defensive spells."
Silence fell.
"Using defensive spells?" said Professor Umbridge, unable to pull off her false shock and offense all that well. "Why, I can't image any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
"We're not going to use magic!" said Ron loudly.
"Students raise their hands when they wish they speak in my class, Mr.—?"
"Weasley," he said and put his hand in the air, quickly followed by Harry and Hermione's flying up as well. Unfortunately, Kakashi was sitting on the end, only Harry next to him. He poked the boy. Hard.
But the quiet yelp of pain was drowned out when Umbridge asked, "Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"
"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"
For god's sake, wasn't she the one who connected the dots without him having to directly say it, seeing about Ministry interference? From that knowledge, this shouldn't be too hard to figure out.
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" There was no way in hell an entire class could take down a creepy politician in an all-out argument. Not that he was such a diplomat himself (though he spent so much time around Minato as Hokage that he learned more than enough tips), but they should be old enough to figure it out on their own.
"No, but—"
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way—"
"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked it won't in a—"
So Kakashi jabbed him again, wishing he could hit a pressure point but knowing having Harry pass out wasn't going to make anything better. The boy winced.
"Hand, Potter!" About half the class also had their hands raised, so she turned her attention to them. "And your name is?"
"Dean Thomas."
"Well, Mr. Thomas?" she said, still sounding overly patient.
"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it? If we're going to attacked it won't be a risk-free—"
"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling sweetly, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"
Why aren't you doing anything, Kakashi? yelled Obito in his mind and Dean said, "No, but—"
I can't—my cover—
This woman is going to snatch up your friend—
He's not my friend!
"I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school," she said as Obito yelled, So much for making her life miserable!, "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed—not to mention—" She laughed. Shut up! I can't go getting myself expelled! "—extremely dangerous half-breeds."
Just listen to her. Are you really saying you can just put up with this?
I've put up with worse! If I fall for this, then this mission is screwing with my head too much and I'll tell Dumbledore I'm not longer suitable due to mental instability.
You know, I'm pretty sure that counts as suitable here.
"If you mean Professor Lupin," said Dean, scowling, "he was the best we ever—"
Half-bloods, Kakashi. Sorta like Jinchuruki, y'see?
Okay, now this is just blatant guilt trip.
And you actually like Remus, and I'm pretty sure that's who she's talking about it.
OKAY, FINE.
"Hand, Mr. Thomas!" she said as Kakashi let his hand fly up in the air, earning a glare from Harry, but continuously ignored by Umbridge. "As I was saying—you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day—"
"No we haven't," said Hermione, "we just—"
"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!" Her hand shot up in the air, but Umbridge turned away, ignoring both of them. Goddamnit, he hadn't even had a chance to talk yet.
"It's my understanding that my predecessor not only preformed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed then on you—"
"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean (Real one's not much better, Kakashi thought to himself, no Obito or Rin chiming in). "Mind you, we still learned loads—"
"Your hand is not up, Mr. Thomas!" she said. "Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And you name is?" she added, turning to Pavarti, still ignoring Kakashi's side of the room.
"Pavarti Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do that countercurses and things?"
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under the carefully controlled examination conditions."
And what really sucked was that he couldn't call Umbridge an idiot because wasn't; she was just an incredibly intelligent, manipulative bitch who enjoyed the frustration, pain, and anger of others. At least for here, anyway, because in Konoha she wouldn't last more than a minute.
"Without ever practicing them before?" said Pavarti, rightfully shocked. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll be get to do the spells will be during out exam?"
"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough—"
Fucking hell, it was like she was mocking them with how of much of a bitch she was by pretending to be all sweet and a normal law-abiding citizen when everyone could very clearly see through it.
"And what good's a theory going to be in the real world?" said Harry, raising his hand again.
At least he wasn't breaking the rules, then.
"This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world," she said.
"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?"
"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Potter." Oh shit, he needed to stop this soon.
"Oh yeah?"
"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?"
"Hm, let's think…maybe Lord Voldemort?"
Second time that he went in too late! First in the dorm, now here? What the fuck was wrong with him?
You're listening to voices in your head, said a part of him that was just Kakashi and no one else. You have to stop, or you'll start to miss what's important.
"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter." The class was dead quiet, and still Kakashi's hand was raised and ignored. "Now, let me make a few things quite plain: You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead—"
"He wasn't dead," said Harry angrily, "but yeah, he's returned!"
"Mr. Potter-you-have-alread-lost-your-House-ten-points-do-not-make-matters-worse-for-yourself," said Professor Umbridge. "As I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large again. This is a lie."
"It is NOT a lie," said Harry. "I saw him, I fought him."
"Detention, Mr. Potter!" said Professor Umbridge with a cheery smile. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. For the rest of the week. I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, by all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend. And now, you will kindly continue your reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners.'"
Oh, screw it. If Harry got a detention, then he should probably get one too. Mineaswell crash and burn with satisfaction.
"Harry, no!" Hermione whispered, as the boy was still standing. But before Harry could say anything, Kakashi grabbed his robes and yanked him back into his seat.
"Um, Professor?" he said, hand still raised causing both Obito and Rin to cheer loudly. Harry's face went from angry to shocked in a matter of seconds. Umbridge's head shot up before she put back on the sweet, sweet smile.
"Yes, Mr.—"
Oh, as if she didn't know him. "I'm Kakashi Hatake," he said. "The exchange student, as you should remember."
All the argumentation earlier was causing her smile to drop and he saw real anger leaking through that carefully crafted façade. But he was the master of this game, of secrecies and falsehoods, and pretending to be something he wasn't, so there was no way in hell she was going to be able to trap him with any of her own.
And unlike him, she was already visibly cracking.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Hatake," she said, voice all frills and lace and pink barrettes, eyes mutinous, "but the last discussion is closed. Now, if you have any queries on the chapter—"
"Actually, I have one on the entire book, and, by default, your curriculum."
Her smile refroze on her face. God, how he hated this woman already. "Okay, dear, if you don't understand anything, you may ask."
Hmmm…How to put this? "That's the thing, though," he said. "I've read the entire book over twice, and there's nothing to clear up. I covered this when I was eleven, and I didn't had a continuous teacher, either. Actually, I've probably cycled through about five."
More like six, truthfully. Sirius, Remus, Minerva, Arthur, Molly, and sometimes Tonks. So if anyone's learning was screwed by constant changes, it should be him.
Perhaps she was dumber than he thought, or she saw that statement as fuel for her argument, but she said, "Well, you see, that's because education here has been so disjointed and—"
"But, that's not what I'm saying," he cut her off, past caring by now. "It's sort of the complete opposite of what I'm saying. Basically, my school doesn't have a very good Defense Against the Dark Arts program. We're all Charms and History and Transfiguration back there." Where was he coming up with this stuff? "That's the reason why I wanted to come to Hogwarts. I heard, of course, of the past mishaps—dead teacher followed by memory loss teacher followed by teacher that resigned followed by psychopathic madman—but still, that it had an overall good program and tried its hardest to assign good educators who actually, well, educated.
"I came here for the Potions program, too. See, we don't have all the same plants in Japan as you do here, so a lot of our mixtures have to be done differently, because getting the proper ingredients for potions found here is really hard and really expensive. And in Potions, it's only been a day and I'm already learning a lot. So…I guess it's more like I'm not understanding the point of the book.
"You directly said that you're following Ministry-approved curriculum right after you spoke to us in passive voice—which by the way, is a grammatical error that you should really correct as a teacher, the 'I should like' and whatnot—" For a moment, Umbridge's eyes widened, but Kakashi continued before she could speak. "Last I checked, when I was looking into schools in Europe because, well, I felt like going here for some reason, it directly said that Hogwarts is a private establishment. So, that sort of vetoes you statement, right? About Ministry-approved curriculum? Because, from my understanding, the government can't interfere with private establishments."
The entire class was staring at him with a sort of understanding creeping into their faces and he knew that even if Umbridge argued back, he drove the point home with the other students, especially anyone whose parents worked in the Ministry. From what he gathered with Muggle history, there wasn't much of a private business sector here in England, but Wizarding England worked different purely because of Hogwarts. He learned about that in Hogwarts, A History. Otherwise, he'd know nothing political about this place, and even now, his knowledge was riddled with blanks he hopefully filled in correctly.
Thank god Hermione and her bookworm-ness existed.
After a moment Umbridge regained composure—probably shocked that someone bothered to in bring up politics—and said, "Well, then I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Hatake, but I believe you have been misinformed. These students are far below the level they must be at to take their O.W.L.s, which is why we must start from the beginning."
"But—that still doesn't make any sense," he said, put on a mask of thinly veiled confusion. "Defense Against the Dark Arts is supposed to be useful, to help defend the user against enemies; I don't know much past a few counterjinxes, actual jinxes, and a few countercurses, and not much at all about Dark creatures, so I have about the same skill level as someone midway through his or her third year here, even taking in account their disjointed learning. You're saying that as long as they read it, they can defend themselves against an attack for first time, but even I can't learn something without at least a few rounds of trial and error, and the entire reason I could come here is because I learn a lot faster than most people."
Two seats down, Ron mumbled, "That's an understatement," but Umbridge didn't hear.
"So," she said, slowly losing her ability to use her fake smile, but miraculously keeping up the little girl, I'm-going-to-kill-you-dead voice, "are you saying you believe all those lies about the Dark Lord returning?"
He took note how she skipped over his comment about theory-learning. To reply, he shrugged. "I don't really care about whether this Voldemort—" The class gasped. "—has returned or not. I'm here for a school year, and that's it. I really don't even know enough about him to make an opinion. But I do know that after spending a summer with him, Harry doesn't seem like much of lunatic. Though, that's beside the point. All I'm talking about are the everyday, 'normal' people that do screwed up things to other people. You know, like child rapists and murderers and detrained psychopaths. Pretty sure they'd be delighted to find nice little students unable to defend themselves."
Rather than bother defending herself and her darling Ministry anymore, she snapped, "You will join Mr. Potter in detention for the week, Mr. Hatake. Starting tomorrow at five o' clock in my office."
He blinked owlishly. "Wait—what did I say?"
"Would you like to extend those detentions?"
Fuck, what would his persona do? The real Kakashi was itching to keep arguing, but he made himself back down, look at the doodle he made of the tree and say miserably, "No. Sorry, Professor."
"Get back to reading," she told the class, not answering him, and went back to doing whatever she was doing before.
Half an hour later, the class was dismissed and Hermione made them hurry off, away from the other Gryffindors, before they could all get crowded, taking an alternate route to the Great Hall. All of them were silent, though Ron and Harry looked like they were bursting to say something.
By the time they reached the Great Hall, news of Kakashi and Harry's argument had already spread throughout the rest of the school (the rumor mill here was worse than ANBU locker rooms, and all of them were batshit in insane), speculations and stories circulating.
"He's still insisting You-Know-Who is back…"
"He reckons he dueled with You-Know-Who…"
"Come off it…"
"Who does he think he's kidding?"
And that was only Harry. There was stuff about Kakashi's argument too.
"He says You-Know-Who isn't the only one out there…"
"Says Potter isn't crazy…"
"Gave some lecture about government interference…"
"He's so cute!"
He died a little inside every time he heard the last one, which came out more than once, and dearly wished his mask was back. All he did was tell of Umbridge, so that and cute didn't add up. And worse yet, he talked about child murderers and rapists—how the hell did that add up to someone liking him?
To the left of him, Harry was saying, "What I don't get is why they all believed the story two months ago when Dumbledore told them…"
"The thing is, Harry," said Hermione, "I'm not sure they did—Oh, let's get out of here."
She put down her fork, and all of them followed suit. Kakashi didn't have much of an appetite, so he wasn't complaining, but Ron seemed sorely disappointed by it all. They walked in silence, something else he didn't mind, until they reached the first four landing and Harry asked, "What d'you mean, you're not sure they believed Dumbledore?"
"Look, you don't understand what it was like after it happened." Oh, so he could finally hear it from them, now, could he? He listened with interest. "You arrived back in the middle of the lawn clutching Cedric's dead body…None of us saw what happened in the maze…We just had Dumbledore's word for it that You-Know-Who had come back and killed Cedric and fought you."
"Which is the truth!"
Hermione sighed. "I know it is, Harry, so will you please stop biting by head off? It's just that before the truth could sink in, everyone went home for the summer, where they spent two months reading about how you're a nutcase and Dumbledore's going senile!" That appeared to be the end of it, as Harry didn't seem up to saying anything else. Then he was proved wrong by Hermione rounding on him not too far away from the portrait hole. "And you."
"What about me?" he said, knowing a lecture was about to come on.
She put her hands on her hips and looked so remarkably like Rin for a moment, about to tell Obito off for starting another fight with him, that Kakashi averted his eyes. "What were you doing, bringing in politics? She works for the Ministry. That was about the stupidest thing you could've done!"
"Really?" he said, crossing his arms. "I thought correcting her grammar was worse. Besides, I know bringing in politics was the only way to get a week's worth of detentions."
After simply staring at him for about half a second, Harry said, "What? You wanted a week's worth of detentions?"
"I don't trust her," he answered, "at all. Because of this, and because of you got detentions, then I had to get a detention. If it was Snape or Flitwick or someone, I wouldn't've bothered, but this is Umbridge we're talking about. Everything I said was specifically meant to get me what I wanted. And, hey, at least I got a chance to make the school look good."
"I don't need to be—"
"I'm very thorough in my job," said Kakashi, giving a glare with about a quarter of its usual intensity. "And my job isn't just you. This is a necessary observation. You just gave me an excuse."
Ron shook his head. "Well, what're we waiting for? Let's go the common room."
See, said Rin as they headed off to the portrait hole, that wasn't so bad, was it?
Kakashi didn't answer.
.
Again, sorry this took so long. Hope you like it. Please review on what is also mentioned in the author's note. A dove just flew by my window, and it was pretty. Bye-bye!