Disclaimer: The iCarly name, characters and show belong to Dan Schnieder. I own nothing.
It's a short chapter, but i needed it to buffer the next one. I still need make some changes to whats going to follow. :D
Y'all don't need to review this one, but hey, read all you want. :D
iOverthink
It was almost midnight, rain still pouring outside, and Sam was wide awake. Her face was lit only by the ghostly light of on Carly's Pearbook. There was not a single tell on her face, nothing that would give away what she felt at that moment. No one would blame her, it's not exactly exciting to stay up for an hour and a half listening to your best-friend cough and groan, mixed with the Seattle rain knocking constantly on the window. Obviously, Sam didn't have a tendency to stay occupied and engaged, but it was even harder for her to be awake and alone. Especially with Freddie sleeping just one floor under her. Now, it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but Sam somehow found herself watching that one webisode where she humiliated Freddie, exposing that he had never had his first kiss. She watched her young face filling the camera and uttering the phrase that would shame Freddie, worldwide. It harrowed her that she could do something like that to him. It harrowed her even more that she felt that way. Everyone who knows her, saw her as the girl you don't mess around with. The girl that did what she wanted, when she wanted. The girl that doesn't feel regret for what she does. Yet, here she is, wishing that she never hurt him that way.
It wasn't all bad though. She thought to herself.
A smile starts to spread across her rosy cheeks. Had she not done that to Freddie, they would've never kissed, never uncovered the small spark between them. This was a rare moment for her; Sam, the tough, hard as stone tomboy, was being taken over, and being replaced by Samantha. The girl who loves Freddie Benson, who feels safe around him, who wishes that he was here with her right now. A girl that regrets admitting to the wild differences that they had in the elevator, and wishes that they never broke up. No one would know that this girl existed, under all the rugged edges, the juvie records and the hardened knuckles. Not right now, at least, as she was alone, save for Carly who was almost cat-like, purring in her slumber. Sam let herself have this moment, to finally admit to herself, and accept that she really did love Freddie. Smiling, she looked down at the glowing screen, and met the soothing, chocolate brown eyes of her secret love. Even from his picture on the iCarly site, you could tell that he was a massive dork, where the only problem with that was the he wasn't 'Her Dork'.
I never knew how important iCarly was to me till now. She thought to herself. I probably would've been in juvie right now. Hell, I might have never had my first kiss with the nub, or kissed him at the lock-in. Or even gone out with him to begin with!
Like a bullet, a realisation hit her. What would happen after all of this? Would iCarly ending mean the end of Carly and Sam's friendship? Even worse, What would happen to her and Freddie? Maybe the end of iCarly came about because they finally get together and it caused some collateral damage? Or maybe she decides to tell him about how she feels and shoots her down, the ultimate pay-back for all the times she's treated him terribly, and never said sorry for them. At the thought of this, her hands begin to shake. All of this comes back to her, making her realise that she has no control over what happens, she doesn't know what will become of her life. There's nothing she can do, helpless over her own life, until somethings sparks in her brain. A light bulb.
"Momma's not helpless." she whispers, and rushed out of Carly's room. Again.