5
We're Accidentally In Love
Rachel stared at it. She knew she was wasting the cold air and that things would start melting, but she couldn't seem to bring herself to shut the door. It was an unassuming carton, but it was like there was a bright spotlight shining down on it—she just couldn't tear her eyes away.
Leroy Berry hated ice cream because of its sugar content. Hiram Berry couldn't eat ice cream because of his lactose intolerance. Rachel Berry stayed far away from ice cream because of her veganism and the fact that it was bad for her vocal cords. And if those weren't valid enough reasons, the collective favorite flavor of the Berry household was chocolate, anyway.
So why in the world was there a carton of strawberry ice cream taking center-stage on the top shelf of the freezer?
She knew why. It was because of a snowball fight.
It had been two weeks since Elijah Puckerman's return to Lima, and until that day, Puck seemed to have gotten over his father's unexpected and unwelcome arrival. Until that particular day, of course.
He'd been slouching around school, glaring at anyone who even thought about talking to him. Rachel had been unceremoniously brushed off when she walked up and asked him what was wrong—which was about eight times better than what happened to Mike and Sam, who'd attempted the same thing and ended up trapped in the janitor's closet.
Fed up and worried out of her mind (again), Rachel finally resulted to a childish means of harassing people. Once school let out for the day, she hid behind a bush near Puck's truck, readied ten perfectly spherical snowballs, and waited until he was unlocking the door when she popped up out of the bushes and pelted a snowball straight at his back. Unfortunately, she wasn't known for her aim, so the snowball actually smashed into the back of his head.
He'd turned around with a murderous glare, spotted the guilty, open-mouthed expression on her face, turned back, and yanked open the door. He'd just...ignored her. Instead of remaining shocked and giving up on her endeavor, she felt anger burning through her muscles.
Rachel Berry does not like to be ignored.
Picking up another snowball, she managed to hit him right on the shoulder.
He turned, threw another glare her way, and was about to finally get into the truck when a third snowball smacked him right in the face. He wiped the slush off his face and slammed his door shut, glaring at her the whole time. She felt a flicker of uncertainty, and involuntarily took a step back.
Perhaps provoking the temperamental halfback who was already having a bad day wasn't one of her best ideas. But her eyes widened when he reached into the bed of his truck, scooped out a handful of accumulated snow, and started wadding it up into a ball. She immediately ducked to grab two of her own snowballs, but he caught her right in the shoulder, splattering her face with the cold, wet snow. She stumbled and tried to wipe it out of her eyes, but suddenly, something warm, hard, and heavy hurtled into her side, tackling her into the snowdrift and pinned her down into the slush.
She grinned at his mock-angry look and mashed the fourth snowball he hadn't seen her grab into the back of his neck, making him shiver. She laughed as he growled at her and tried cover her up with snow, but they ended up tumbling into her little patch of leftover snowballs. Instead of feeling thoroughly frozen and wet, the close proximity of his body meant an abundance of warmth that flushed her cheeks. She grinned up at him, and his darkened hazel eyes brightened as a smirk spread across his face.
"Come on, midget," he'd said, pulling her up with him.
"Where are we going?" she'd asked, using the hand he hadn't been holding to smooth out her coat and hair.
"I want ice cream."
"Noah! It's freezing! We've just been rolling around in the snow and you want ice cream?!"
He'd shrugged. "Yeah."
So she hopped into his truck, and they drove off to the grocery store to buy a carton of ice cream and to rent the first three Star Wars movies. They ended up back at her house where he forced her to sit through A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back before finally telling her that Elijah Puckerman had called the house the night before and Aviva was now in the process of putting out a restraining order on the man.
So that's why there was a carton of ice cream in her freezer. It wasn't the same one he'd bought and brought over that day. Actually, she'd lost count of how many cartons he'd brought over. He'd visited her house more frequently, finishing and replenishing his stash and occasionally bringing her a little carton of chocolate vegan ice cream—which was also seated beside his currently half-filled carton.
This was how Santana found her—staring at the cartons of ice cream in her freezer like an idiot. After proudly announcing her instrumental role in the end of the "Feast of the T-Rex," she subsequently insinuated herself into Rachel's life to ensure that her little gremlin wouldn't revert back to the "Anno Fincheli" personality that drove everyone insane. She became a frequent presence in the Berry household, having long-since foregone typical social boundaries and called dibs on the hidden key under the ceramic frog near the azalea bush.
She hip-bumped the freezer door shut, snapping Rachel out of her stupor.
"So what's the problem, Berry?" Santana asked, pouring herself a mug of coffee and hopping up onto the barstool.
Rachel had reconciled herself with the Latina's incessant meddling ever since she found out about Brittana's plan to push Finchel to its ultimate end. The result was an unlikely alliance that culminated in more duets between herself and Santana and Finn's ever-diminishing presence in musical numbers. Rachel had also come to grips with the severe lack of propriety when it came to Santana. She knew more about Brittany and Santana's relationship that she ever needed to know—almost to the point where she hardly even cared about what she heard and became extremely comfortable with the two girls.
Comfortable enough, in fact, to answer Santana's question with much more candid frankness than she ever thought she'd speak to anyone with:
"What's the problem?" Rachel echoed with a sigh, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't know. Well, maybe I'm in love."
"Love?!" Santana shrieked, nearly upending her coffee mug.
"I can't stop thinking about it!" Rachel cried, wringing her hands. "I keep staring a-at that carton and wondering when he's going to come and finish it and if he's going to force me to finish the Star Wars films and wondering if he can tell that I like him o-or if he already knows but simply doesn't want me back—"
"¿Estás bromeando?" Santana demanded, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Are you kidding? It's only been two damn weeks, Berry, and you're walking around declaring that you fucking love him?"
"Truthfully I don't know much about love since I thought I was in love with Finn. And Lord knows that Finn will always have a special place in my heart—even if it may or may not be barely a hair's breadth in length and width—but further introspection—and a few offhand comments from Dad—led me to the conclusion that I'd fallen prey to the same malady that befell countless other teens before me: infatuation. I fell in love with a candy-coated image of a boy I was infatuated with. As far as this newly-reborn Rachel Berry is concerned, I haven't experienced true, heart-clenching love—a-a love that could be the stuff of legends."
Santana glared at her. "So why the hell are you saying you're in love with Puckerman? Holy Christ."
Rachel grimaced and ran her hands through her hair. "Because...because..."
"Because, because, because WHAT, gnome?!"
Because more than anything in the world, she wanted Noah to feel loved—that anyone he let into his life wouldn't break his heart. She didn't want to fix him like she did with Finn. She didn't want to be his hero. She didn't want theatrics. She just wanted Noah to know that aside from his mom and sister, she would be there for him. And if that meant nothing more than being his friend because she was leaving for Tisch and he was going off to God-knows-where and he didn't want to be in a relationship, then so be it.
So she took a deep, steadying breath and walked out of the kitchen.
"Gremlin! What the hell?!" Santana screeched.
But she ignored Santana and walked up the stairs to her room. And if Santana followed her up and sat on her bed the entire time, throwing questions, comments, and mild insults at her, Rachel ignored it. She had a song to rehearse.
Rachel raised her hand and half the gleeks heaved a collective sigh which was consequently shushed the other half. "Mr. Schue?"
Ever since Finn's downfall, Schue had grown up a considerable amount. Needless to say, he asked Finn to step down as best man and had called up one Bryan Ryan as a replacement. The guy was a second-rate douchebag, but he was definitely known for his parties. Schue's enlightenment also caused him to take a much softer stand with Rachel and didn't even display a modicum of exasperation when he smiled at her. "Yes, Rachel?"
"I've completed your—" ludicrous, unoriginal, and utterly uninspired "—assignment. May I ask to be the first to perform?"
"Of course!" Schue said, grinning and stepping aside.
Instead of standing in the middle of the room though, Rachel shooed Brad off the piano stool and took his place.
The assignment was simple enough. It was essentially junior year's mash-up assignment only in solos. Girls would sing songs by men, and the boys would sing songs by women. But Rachel took it a step further and edited the lyrics to fit accordingly. She didn't want any other accompaniment—she and Santana had agreed that a voice and a piano would be more than enough.
So when she plucked out the first few chords, the rest of the gleeks didn't recognize it—only Santana, Brittany (who was clued in by her girlfriend), and Blaine of all people, according to their knowing little smiles. As soon as she started singing, though, Rachel fixed her eyes on her fingers as they moved across the keys.
"Little boy who grew up too fast, he had some trouble with himself. He was always there to help her; she always belonged to someone else," she sang softly, making sure to keep her voice low and deep. "He walked for miles and miles and wound up at my door. I've had you so many times, but somehow, I want more."
"Oh, my God," she heard Kurt breath, but she didn't dare look away.
"I don't mind spending every day, out on my front porch in the pouring rain. Look for the boy with the broken smile, ask him if he wants to stay awhile, and he will be loved. He will be loved."
She once said that she cried every time she sang a solo, but she steadfastly refused to cry during this one. Because this song wasn't about her, and she felt that her tears would only detract from the message she was trying to send him.
"Tap on my window, knock on my door, I want to make you feel wonderful. I know I tend to get so insecure, it doesn't matter anymore. It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along, yeah. My heart is full and my door's always open, you come anytime you want. I don't mind spending every day out on my front step in the pouring rain. Look for the boy with the broken smile. Ask him if he wants to stay awhile, and he will be loved. And he will be loved. And he will be loved. And he will be loved."
Finn walked out. She saw him out of the corner of her eye. She was thankful he didn't make another spectacle of himself and...kick a chair or something.
"I know where you hide, alone in your car. Know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all. Come to me and I'll catch you every time you fall," she sang, tapering off the notes into silence. "Tap on my window knock on my door, I want to make you feel wonderful."
And then Santana and Brittany came in, harmonizing with her from where they sat on the risers. "I don't mind spending every day, standing with you in the pouring rain. I'll try to fix that broken smile, pull you in and let you stay awhile, and you will be loved. And you will be loved. And you will be loved. And you will be loved."
No high notes, no tears. She stood up as the gleeks applauded, and then she finally locked eyes with him.
But it was only for a second because as soon as their gazes met, he was up and out of his seat. And for a second there, she wanted to crumple and cry because she thought he was walking out on her much like the way Finn did. But instead, he'd grabbed her hand and dragged her out into the empty hallway.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice low.
She swallowed and blinked up at him. "I thought that was fairly obvious, Noah, I—"
"You sang me a song," he said flatly.
"You hate it, don't you? I knew it. The song was lame. I suck," she sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I'm a one-hit wonder. I can't even successfully—"
"Why?" he asked, hazel eyes glinting.
She shrugged. "The song fit you. Once I modified the lyrics, of course."
"Why?" he hissed again.
She stared up at him. He didn't look angry—just confused.
"I thought it would be fairly obvious considering your ice cream is in my freezer."
He froze and balked at her. "Did you just make a dirty joke?!"
Her eyes widened. "What?! No! That was—that was literal! Your ice cream is actually in my freezer!"
"And that caused you to sing me a song?!" he demanded.
Ugh, this was not going the way she's planned.
"Look, Noah, I sang it for you," she explained, "and for what you've been going through. And I'll admit that I have—" a lot "—of feelings for you, but that wasn't the primary reason for me to sing. The song is supposed to be about comfort, and I wanted you to know that I'll be here for you if ever you need it."
His eyebrows shot up. "You...have feelings for me?"
She swallowed and suddenly found the dirty smudges on the floor utterly riveting.
"Berry, don't you think it's a little bit fucked up that I slept with your mom?" he asked, ducking down to try and catch her gaze.
She flinched but wasn't too fazed by it. A few days after his outburst in the rain, he'd backtracked, only then realizing that he'd spilled his own secret, but she told him that Quinn had told her before, so he hadn't given her a heart attack or anything. "I'll admit that it's gross on so many different levels, but the fact of the matter is that she's as much my mother as Mr. Schue is Finn's father."
Puck just stared down at her in disbelief. Chick done lost her damn mind for this. She took batshit crazy to a whole new, inhuman level.
"It doesn't change the fact that I still want you. And even if you don't want me back, I need you to know that you're not alone, Noah. That a lot of us care about you more than you want to acknowledge," she said earnestly, reaching up to cup his face the same way she'd done a week ago. "It's not just you against the world anymore. And even if I go to Broadway, and you drop off the map, I will always be here."
"What?" he muttered. "Waiting for my ass to say that I want you back?"
She smiled and shook her head. "If ever you just want to talk."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "You didn't have to sing a song, though, Berry."
She smiled. "Well, it just so happened that you serenaded me in glee once before. I thought it was high time for me to return the favor."
"What is up with you and trying to pay me back for shit all of a sudden?" he asked suspiciously.
She shrugged. I may or may not have accidentally fallen in love with you. "I-I-I-I don't know. Di-Did you like it?"
He smirked and reached out for her hand, twining his long, calloused fingers between hers. "You were a little flat on the second verse, but it was a'ight."
She used her free hand to smack his chest with the back of her hand and grinned. "Noah!"
He chuckled and let go of her hand to sling it around her shoulder. "So...you still got my ice cream in your freezer?"
"Noah!" she cried indignantly.
He grinned, bent down, and dropped a soft kiss on her lips, making her . "So I will be loved, huh?"
She grinned up at him and wrapped an arm around his waist as he led her out of the school. "Yeah, yeah, you will be."
He smirked down at her and squeezed her closer against his side. "You'll be loved too, you know? The right way."
She nodded. "I'm counting on it."
The End