"So, hows she been?" Blaine asked as he slipped into the booth and handed Quinn her coffee, which she graciously accepted.
"I don't know, better?" Quinn sighed dejectedly as she took a sip of her warm drink. "One minute it seems like she's really gonna be okay then the next she's shut in her room crying."
"Is she talking to you?" Quinn nodded and Blaine continued. "Well that's definitely progress. I wouldn't worry too much unless she starts shutting you out. Of course she's gonna be back and forth for a while she just lost, well, everything."
"I know you're right but I just hate seeing her like this," Quinn said, frustration clear in her tone.
"We all do," Blaine said simply.
"I'm so fucking scared she's gonna try something again," Quinn admitted quietly and Blaine just let her continue. "I'm so scared that I'm gonna go wake her up one morning but not be able to."
"It's okay to be scared," Blaine reached out and placed his hand atop Quinn's. "But have a little faith in her, she's healing and it's gonna take a long time."
"But I told you what she said at the hospital," Quinn added. "She doesn't even know if she can make it."
"She only said that once, right?" Blaine asked and Quinn nodded. "Well lets give her the benefit of the doubt. That was when she'd only just woken up. She was emotional and everything was really setting in for her right then. She may not be back to her normal self yet but you can't deny that she's actually trying. And besides the hospital wouldn't have let her out of suicide watch if they thought she was unstable."
Quinn thought over everything Blaine had just said, deciding he had a point. "You're right. I guess I just want her better and better now."
"I'm right with you on that. I'm eagerly awaiting her to make fun of my hair or the fact that I wear bowties," Blaine and Quinn both laughed at that.
"I just want her to smile again," Quinn added softly as their laughter died down. "I want to make her smile."
"I know," Blaine said before his tone grew serious. "Quinn please be careful."
"What are you talking about?" Quinn asked, unable to make eye contact.
"We're best friends sweetie, I know how you feel about her," Blaine held up his hand to stop Quinn from defending herself. "Don't try and tell me I'm wrong, it's been years and I see the way you look at her. I'm not judging but I am going to say this, be careful. I'm not saying you would, but don't take advantage of her emotional state right now. Be a friend first and if something more happens then something more happens. Do not push her, do not expect anything from her."
Quinn stared at her coffee cup, unable to meet Blaine's eyes. After a moment she sighed before speaking, still looking down, "does everyone know?"
"If they do they haven't said anything," Blaine said reassuringly. "And knowing Kurt he would have said something to me if he did know. I won't tell anyone though, your secrets safe."
"It sucks," Quinn said with a tremor in her voice. "Part of me always wanted a chance but I knew Brittany was her soulmate and I would never have done anything to mess with that. I'm just scared that she'll hate me if she ever finds out."
"You're scared about a lot of things lately, aren't you?" Blaine asked.
"Santana's the only person who can scare me this much," Quinn admitted.
"Love does crazy things."
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
Twenty or so blocks away Santana was drinking coffee in the apartment with the rest of the gang, who had decided to come check up on her while Blaine and Quinn had their buddy time.
"Hows being roomies with Quinn going for you?" Rachel asked as she joined everyone else on the couches in the living room.
"It's good," Santana said simply. "She's been great."
"I should imagine," Kurt added. "She would totally deny it if she was here but she's a total mama bear."
"Right?" Rachel laughed in agreement and Santana just shrugged.
"I guess, she's been patient with me."
"I'm glad you're here with her," Cameron said as he took a sip of his coffee. "You're good for each other."
"What do you mean?" Santana asked. "I mean I get why she's good for me, but what am I doing that's so good for her?"
"She's been lonely," Kurt answered for Cameron. "She stayed her and stayed single while we all moved out to do our own things with our own people. We all just got the feeling that she missed being around everyone. I mean she hasn't dated like, at all, so she doesn't really have someone around all too often."
"That didn't even occur to me," Santana mumbled. "I'm such a bitch, I didn't even notice that one of my best friends was lonely."
"Well you were a little preoccupied," Rachel said softly. "She didn't expect you to be making her feel less lonely when you were taking care of Brittany."
The room fell silent at the mention of a name that had become rather taboo as of late. No one wanted to speak first, the tension weighing heavy on everyone.
"I-I just remembered I have some things to do," Santana stood up suddenly and started grabbing coffee cups to bring them to the kitchen. "Calls to make and what not..."
"Santana, I'm sorry," Rachel stood up to follow but Santana spun around to stop her.
"Don't worry about it, I just need to get this stuff done," Santana said, obviously working hard to keep her voice steady. "We can all hang out later."
"Okay," Kurt said, earning a confused glance from Cameron and Rachel. "Just call us later, okay?"
"Sure, sure," Santana said as she quickly handed everyone their coats. "See you guys around, don't worry about me," she added as she practically shoved her guests out the door.
Almost instantaneously with the door closing behind them Kurt, Rachel, and Cameron heard muffled sobs breaking out in the apartment they had just been in.
"Kurt we can't just leave!" Rachel insisted, strain clear in her voice.
"We don't really have a choice right now, she's an adult and can handle herself," Kurt offered, placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder.
"I'll shoot Quinn a text, tell her to come home. Okay?" Cameron offered as they all began walking away.
"Please do," Rachel said. "If she won't talk to us maybe she'll talk to her."
Cameron just nodded and pulled out his phone.
Hey Quinn, you might want to head home Santana's upset. Rachel accidentally said Brittany and she made us leave. Don't freak it's not an emergency but we figured that she would actually talk to you about it- Cam
Cameron had barely had time to slip his phone back into his coat pocket when it buzzed with a response from Quinn.
On my way- Q
xXxXxXxXxXxXx
Quinn was breathing heavily as she burst through the door of her apartment in record time. She had run like a mad woman, earning several judgemental glances from people on the sidewalk, on her way home. She tossed her purse and jacket careless onto the couch and made her way towards Santana's room. The door was open a crack and Quinn could hear sniffling coming from inside. Carefully, she pushed the door and stepped in.
"San?" she asked quietly, making the latina lift her head and meet Quinn's gaze with watery eyes. Quinn looked to Santana's hands and saw that she was clutching a framed photo of her and Brittany back when they were first moving into this very apartment.
They were both wearing beaming smiles and holding paint rollers. Santana wore paint stained overalls and had a bandana around her head. Brittany wore short shorts and a loose dance shirt that Santana had just painted S&B4EVA, marking it as though it were a tree in some sacred location. Arms around each others waist, anyone could see that these two were happy together and completely in love. Quinn couldn't help the unpleasant twist in her stomach, but quickly pushed her own issues aside for much more pressing matters.
"I just miss her so fucking much," Santana managed to choke out before starting to cry again.
Quinn quickly went to the bed and sat on it, pulling Santana into a hug. Santana melted herself into Quinn's embrace, burying her head in the safety of Quinn's neck. Quinn just let her friend's tears stain pool against the skin of her neck as she rubbed soothing circles on her back.
"I know you do; I do too," Quinn said honestly. Yes she was jealous, but she still loved Brittany like a sister; nothing could have changed that.
"I feel so weak," Santana sniffled, her voice muffled against Quinn's skin. "I can't even hear her name without freaking out. I can't avoid it forever but it hurts so bad to hear it."
"All in good time," Quinn said reassuringly. "And everyone else understands, so don't worry they aren't offended or anything."
Santana sighed and pulled herself up, sitting up cross legged and wiping tears from her eyes. Quinn eye's widened comically when Santana suddenly started giggling.
"What's so funny?" Quinn asked, not even attempting to hide the wide grin on her own face.
"You really are mama bear," Santana said with a small smile. "Rachel said it today and I just totally get it now."
Quinn blushed and ducked her head, "No, I'm not," she said sheepishly.
"Yes you are," Santana insisted. "Don't fight it, it's endearing."
Quinn just smiled even wider, if that were possible, as her heart pounded wildly against her chest.
A/N: People said they wanted Quinn's feelings to be more apparent so there you have it. Things are finally looking up... for the time being