Final Fantasy VIII [2nd Instalment]

Grace Barton

Chapter Sixteen

When Squall and the others walked into the Infirmary, Dr Kadowaki was still at her desk. When she saw the dark look on Squall's face, she knew at once why he was here. Putting down her pen, she stood up to meet them.

"Do you need to see the headmaster?" she asked. She sounded grave.

Squall nodded. "Yes, now," he replied, and his tone suggested that he would not accept any excuses.

The doctor put her hands on her hips. "Well, the headmaster is kind of…"

A voice interrupted her. "I'm ok now, doctor," it said.

Dr Kadowaki turned to one of the side rooms, where the voice had come from. "Are you sure?" she asked, sounding concerned.

The voice hesitated and then said: "Yes. I believe I'm done crying."

The doctor frowned. "…Just take it easy, ok," she advised. The unseen voice gave no reply. Dr Kadowaki turned to Squall. "He's got a lot on his mind," she said.

Of that Squall had little doubt, but he was in no mood to offer sympathy. He had a multitude of questions in his mind: questions that only the headmaster could answer. Like the real meaning of SeeD, and a response to the Garden Master's statement of Cid and Edea being a 'married couple'. These questions and more Squall wanted answers to. He meant to have those answers now.

He went into the room. Rinoa and Quistis slipped in behind him. Inside he saw Headmaster Cid, sitting on the bed. The headmaster's face was more drawn than usual, and his cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes red from crying. When he saw them Cid wiped his eyes, put his glasses back on, and stood up to meet them.

"You all see me in such an embarrassing state," he said, his cheeks flushing. The headmaster wiped his face with a tissue, straightened out his clothes and then folded his arms behind his back. "What shall we talk about?" he asked them.

Squall stepped forward. "I want to make a report," he began.

"No, no," replied Cid, and he waved his hand. "It's not necessary. I can guess what must've happened."

Squall hesitated, and then nodded. So, the headmaster had already guessed what had happened? Well, it was obvious really. They each looked like they had just come from a battle. Squall wanted to ask more about the Garden Master, but there were other more pressing questions he wanted to ask. It was just a case of picking which one he should ask first. Eventually he settled on one—one that had been bugging him ever since he encounter Seifer in the Desert Prison.

"Please tell me the real meaning of SeeD," he asked the headmaster.

Cid looked at him, puzzled. "SeeD is SeeD," he said. "The elite mercenary force of Garden." The headmaster then paused and gave Squall a knowing look. "Hmm, do you know something about SeeD?" he asked.

I never know anything, Squall thought, but he did not say this out loud.

Cid smiled and then carried on. "SeeD will defeat the sorceress. The Garden will train SeeD members. The many missions around the world are only training for the final battle against the sorceress." The headmaster paused again. He turned away and looked out of the window, into the gardens beyond. "But now that the sorceress has become a major threat, our true mission has begun."

'True mission'…? Squall folded his arms. So this was what Seifer had been talking about. SeeD's real purpose was to defeat the sorceress. The missions they went on were further training to enhance their skills, so that when the time came they would be strong enough to face their true enemy: the sorceress.

Yet there were still things about that that did not make sense. The way Cid spoke made it seem like this information was obvious. If that was the case, then why didn't Squall know about this?

Then Squall remembered. It was during the inauguration ceremony, when Cid had been giving his speech to the four new SeeDs. He had tried to tell them something then but he was interrupted—by the Garden Faculty. Perhaps it was this very purpose the headmaster was going to reveal to them, but the Garden Master had intervened before he could.

So, now he knew what SeeD's real purpose was. Yet knowing that raised another problem, which just happened to be his next question. If SeeD and Garden were meant to defeat the sorceress, then why… "Please tell me about Sorceress Edea," Squall said to the headmaster. "I heard she's your wife."

Cid looked back over his shoulder and met Squall's gaze. He did not smile. After a moment he turned his gaze away and looked out of the window again.

"You're quite right…" he confessed, and both Rinoa and Quistis gasped. Cid continued. "She had been a sorceress since childhood. I married her, knowing that. We were happy. We worked together, the two of us." Cid looked down, and there was a fond look in his eyes as he recalled the memories. "We were happy.

"One day, Edea began talking about building the Garden and training SeeD. I became obsessed with that plan. But I was very concerned with SeeD's goal, that one day SeeD might fight Edea…" The headmaster halted briefly, and closed his eyes. "She laughed and told me that would never happen. However…"

However, it came to pass, Squall finished. So the idea of Garden and it training SeeD to fight sorceress was Edea's idea? An idea from the sorceress they were now forced to fight? The headmaster's wife? It seemed like a cruel irony.

But that alone posed another problem for Squall. If it was Sorceress Edea herself who came up with the idea of SeeD and its mission to defeat sorceresses, then why would she ask Seifer to find out SeeD's purpose? As the headmaster's wife, she should already know all about SeeD. On top of that, Squall could not picture a woman as coldly beautiful as Sorceress Edea being married to a quiet, homely man like the headmaster. He did not say this, of course, but he did think it.

Squall moved onto his next question. "Tell me about Master NORG," he said.

Cid nodded and turned from the window. He had been expecting this one. "He is from the Shumi tribe," he answered. "A black sheep of the tribe, one might say. We met while I was running around trying to find funds to build the Garden, and we hit it off. Thanks to his funding, it was completed. However, we needed an enormous amount of funds to run the Garden. So we began dispatching SeeDs around the world as a means of supporting the Garden.

"NORG's idea was right on the money. An enormous amount of capital began flowing into the Garden. And the Garden began to change. Lost sight of our high ideals, the truth was covered up…" The headmaster sighed and scratched his head. "That's probably enough. In the end, it was my fault, for giving up control."

Squall nodded. That just about explained the Garden Master. So, NORG was one of the 'Shumi' race? Squall had heard of them before, but he had never seen one. The library did not hold much information about them. Squall heard that they were a long-lived race and that at certain stages of their lives they involved into different forms. How much of it was true, Squall did not know. Nor did it matter.

"What do we do now?" he asked, finally.

Cid turned back to the window. "We must stop drifting around soon…" he replied. "I can only hope that we can get things back to the way they were."

To that, Squall said nothing. He did not see how it was possible to get things back to the way they were. So many things had changed already. The moving of the Garden was only one of those things. Yet Squall had a nagging feeling that the changes were not over yet. No matter how hard they tried, the Garden would never be the same as it was before.

Sensing Dr Kadowaki's fearsome visage in the doorway, Squall decided that was enough questions for now. He bade farewell to the headmaster and walked out of the infirmary, along with Rinoa and Quistis. They headed back to the lobby, but before they could reach it they saw Xu, running down from the lift towards them.

"Squall!" she called out to him. "Squall!"

Squall groaned. What was it now?

Xu ran over and skidded to a stop. She bowed her head to Squall. "Have you seen the headmaster around?" she asked.

"He's at the infirmary," replied Squall.

"Sounds like trouble," said Rinoa. "What's wrong?"

Xu turned and pointed at the lift. "Go to the 2nd floor deck and see for yourself," she told the. "There's a ship approaching. It could be Galbadians or worse: the sorceress might be aboard, coming to attack us!" She ran past, heading to the Infirmary. "I have to tell the headmaster right away!"

She ran on, leaving them behind. Squall watched her go. He then looked at Rinoa and Quistis. They nodded, and they all ran for the lift. When they got to the 2nd floor, they headed straight for what Xu had called the '2nd floor deck', which was the balcony they had visited when the Garden started moving.

They ran out onto the deck. As they did they stopped and stared in amazement. There, pulled up alongside the Garden, was a ship. It was a long ship, plated in silver metal with gold patterning across its surface. As the ship pulled in, its large sails folded and lay back across the rear of the ship.

Squall peered down at the ship. A ship! he thought, looking the ship over. A Galbadian ship! His fingers clenched the rail. Were they going to attack?

The group walked to the edge of the deck. Rinoa leaned over, looking at the ship. It was a beautiful ship, but she could not see many weapons on it. It appeared as though the ship was built for speed rather than battle. There was also no sign of a crew anywhere on the deck. Were they hiding, perhaps, waiting to attack? Then Rinoa saw movement and she grabbed Squall's arm, pointing at the deck.

A cabin door opened, and three people ran out onto the deck. Squall stared at them. It was two men and a woman, dressed in white uniforms. Squall was sure he had seen those uniforms before, but from where he could not say.

One of the men, presumably the leader, called out to them. "Is Headmaster Cid here?" he asked them.

Squall frowned. So they knew the headmaster's name. Should he answer honestly? "No, he's not here," he called back, evasive. "Are you from… Galbadia?"

The man shook his head. "We are SeeDs!" he said. "This is Edea's ship. We are Sorceress Edea's SeeD!"

…SeeD!

Squall stepped back from the edge. Was that guy serious? Sorceress Edea's… SeeD…? The sorceress had her own SeeD! How was that possible? Squall's mind started to race. What did this mean?

While Squall was trying to process this new information, the man who called out to them stepped forward and put his boot on the ship's rail. "We're coming aboard!" he said to them. "We're unarmed!"

The SeeD pushed himself off the rail, and his two comrades did the same. They had amazing agility—they were well-trained. Squall, Rinoa and Quistis stepped away from the edge as the three 'SeeDs' landed on the deck.

At once Squall reached for his gunblade. Rinoa and Quistis also reached for their weapons. SeeDs or not, they were not taking any chances with these strangers.

The leader of the group spread his hands, showing that he held no weapons. "Please," he said to them. "We come in peace."

Squall looked at the SeeD's open hands. He then looked at his two comrades, standing quietly behind him. It was true: he could not see any weapons on any of them. They did not look like they came from Galbadia, either. Squall looked back at the leader. He held Squall's gaze, without blinking. Squall held his gaze as well, also without moving. Perhaps they were telling the truth, he thought. Squall lowered his sword and nodded to the others. They also lowered their weapons.

Seeing that he had gained their trust, the SeeD lowered his hands. "We must speak to Headmaster Cid," he said, folding his hands in front of him. "Where is he?"

Squall started to reply, but a voice interrupted him.

"I'm right here."

Squall turned, along with the others. Headmaster Cid had walked out onto the deck, and he had Xu with him. The headmaster appeared much more presentable now, although he still looked tired. Squall was amazed that Dr Kadowaki had let him out, let alone come up here. This must mean that the headmaster knew about this ship, and what it was for. Squall shook his head. More secrets…?

As the headmaster approached, Squall stepped aside and allowed him to pass. On seeing the headmaster, the leader of the three SeeD bowed his head in respect. His two comrades did the same. Cid waved a hand, indicating they could relax.

The lead SeeD raised his head. "Headmaster, we've come from Ellone," he said. "It's too dangerous here now."

Cid nodded. "…Yes, I'm afraid so," he agreed.

On hearing the name, Squall frowned. Ellone? That girl from Winhill? He folded his arms. It had to be a coincidence. Ellone was from the 'dream world', along with Laguna. There was no way that they could be talking about the same girl… right? He closed his eyes, lost in his thoughts.

Seeing Squall shift, the headmaster turned. "Squall. You know who she is?" he asked. "Please go find her. She's here somewhere in the Garden."

Ellone… She was in the Garden? But she was a dream, nothing more… wasn't she? Squall looked at the headmaster, and then at the three SeeDs behind him. Who are these guys? he wondered. How are they connected? In the depths of his mind, something was beginning to click, but he was almost afraid to believe it.

"Squall?" asked Cid.

The headmaster was still watching him. Squall sensed his gaze and shook himself out of his thoughts and saluted. "…Yes, sir," he said.

He left the deck, with Rinoa and Quistis in tow. They gathered on the 2F corridor.

"Squall," said Quistis, once they had stopped. Squall turned to her. "Ellone is that girl, right? That little girl Laguna was looking after."

Squall closed his eyes. He had told Quistis about the latest events in the 'dream world' during the clean-up of Balamb Garden.

After falling from the cliffs at Centra, Laguna had somehow made it back to the Galbadian continent. He was rescued by the people of Winhill, where a woman called Raine had nursed him back to health. There Laguna remained for a long time, living with Raine and Ellone, the little girl Raine had taken in after her parents were killed by Esthar soldiers. Laguna had developed a strong affection for the little girl during that time, looking after her like she was his own.

"Probably," he replied, opening his eyes again. It was hard to believe, but somehow Squall just knew they were referring to the same Ellone.

"Do you know where she is?" Quistis asked him.

The swordsman shook his head.

"Let's split up and look for her," Quistis suggested. She then turned and ran off down the corridor to begin her search, leaving Squall and Rinoa behind.

As Quistis disappeared into one of the classrooms, Rinoa turned to Squall. "Hey Squall," she said, "who's Ellone?"

"She's a person in the 'dream world'," Squall told her.

Rinoa nodded. She did not fully understand, but it was as good an explanation as any. She also turned and ran off down the corridor.

Now only Squall remained. Instead of beginning his search straight away, he stayed in the corridor for a minute or two, trying to collect his thoughts.

Ellone… So she was a real person after all? Now that he thought about it, those Moombas at the Desert Prison had known about Laguna. Then did this mean that everything they saw in the 'dream world' was real? But if it was real then how could Ellone be here in the Garden? The more he thought about it, the more he began to realise the truth, but it was too difficult to accept.

He thought about those three people who called themselves 'SeeDs'. Those white uniforms they wore, he knew now where he had seen them before. It was in the Training Centre, on the eve of his inauguration into SeeD. The two men, dressed in the same white uniforms, rushing to protect the woman Squall and Quistis had just saved from a monster there. The woman who knew him by name, and who claimed she had known him in the past.

Squall began to walk. He was not quite sure, but he thought he had finally figured out who Ellone was. And he knew where to find her, if she was still there.

As Squall had hoped, the woman he was looking for was still in the library. She was sitting at the desks still, reading her book.

Squall stood at the entrance to the study area. He felt suddenly hesitant. The woman who sat before him now… She was so much older than she had been in the 'dream world'—almost twenty years older, in fact. Yet as he looked at her now, even from behind, Squall was sure that they must be one and the same. Maybe it was the short, chocolate-brown hair or the blue shirt she wore. Squall was not sure, and he was not sure he wanted to find out.

He approached her.

Hearing his footsteps, the woman raised her head. She turned, and when she saw him, her eyes were once again filled with warmth.

"Yes, Squall?"

Meeting her gaze, Squall hesitated again. Her face was older, but it was the same. Her large brown eyes, they were the same as well. And as Squall gazed upon her now, he began to felt that perhaps he did know her from somewhere. Perhaps it was just the memories from the 'dream world' resonating within him, but Squall was suddenly not sure. He began to feel as though he knew this woman from someplace else, but try as he might the memories would not come.

"Are you… Ellone?" he asked her.

He saw surprise in the woman's eyes. Then her eyes softened, and she nodded.

"Yes…" she whispered.

Squall stared at her. "You're Ellone?" he asked. "THE Ellone?"

Again, the woman nodded.

What is going on? Squall asked himself. He stepped closer to her. "You know… Laguna, don't you?" he dared to ask.

A solemn look crossed over Ellone's face. She lowered her eyes. "I do," she said with a smile. "I really love Uncle Laguna."

"Then tell me!" Squall demanded. "What is it that we experience!" Somehow, she knew what was going on.

Without raising her eyes, Ellone shook her head. "I'm sorry, Squall," she replied. "It's hard to explain." Beside her Squall gestured, urging her to continue. Ellone raised her head. "But… one thing… It's about the past."

…So we were viewing the past? Squall wondered. It made sense, he supposed. In the 'dream world' Ellone was a little girl. Now, in the present, she was a woman.

While he was thinking, Ellone closed her book and stood up. She adjusted her green shawl, which had slipped from her arms. Ellone then walked past Squall and went over to the nearest bookshelf. It was a shelf of history books. Pausing beside the shelf, Ellone laid her fingers upon the books.

"People say you can't change the past," she began, running her fingers along the shelf. When she reached the end she rubbed dust from her fingers and turned back to Squall. "But even still, if there's a possibility, it's worth a try, right?"

Squall shook his head. Change the past? Is she serious? Give me a break… "Are you the one responsible!" he demanded. Ellone said nothing and turned away, but Squall persisted. "Are you the one taking us to that 'dream world'!"

For a moment or two, Ellone remained silent. Then she slowly turned back to him, and there was a deep sadness in her brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said.

A wave of dizziness passed over Squall. His body went cold, and he felt sick.

…Not again, he thought. So much I don't understand.

"Why me!" he demanded out loud. "I have enough problems as it is! Don't get me involved in this!"

But all Ellone could say was: "I'm sorry."

The swordsman shook his head. The wave of nausea grew stronger, and his mouth went dry. His fingers went numb, and his legs began to buckle. "Don't…" he said, backing away from Ellone. "Don't count on me."

He reached Ellone's chair. When his leg touched it he staggered and fell into it. He turned away from Ellone and looked down at the floor, unable to look at her.

But Ellone looked at Squall, and her brown eyes were filled with sympathy as she gazed at him. There was also a deep affection in her eyes, an affection that Squall would not comprehend until much later. Ellone started to go to him, but she stopped and turned as Xu entered the library and approached them both. Xu did not see Ellone but went straight to Squall, standing behind him.

"Squall, did you find Ellone?" she asked.

Squall did not answer her. Nor did he acknowledge that he had even heard her, or show that he was aware of her presence. He remained slumped in the chair, his head low, unmoving.

Behind them, Ellone raised a delicate hand. "Umm… I'm Ellone," she said.

Xu turned and nodded her head. She then looked back at Squall, and her brow creased in concern. "Are you all right?" she asked him.

But Squall still did not answer her. Ellone looked at him. The sympathetic look returned to her eyes. She went over to him and leaned over his shoulder. Leaning in close, she whispered something in his ear. On hearing it, Squall felt his shoulders tense.

Ellone stood up straight. She squeezed Squall's shoulder, and ran her fingers through his hair. She smiled at him, a painful smile. She then took a breath and turned back to Xu. She nodded. Xu stepped aside and motioned for Ellone to go on ahead. Ellone did so and Xu went after her, leaving Squall alone.

As they walked out, Squall raised his head and looked at the door. He watched Ellone's back as she walked down the corridor with Xu. Before she reached the end of the corridor, Ellone turned her head and looked back at him. Their eyes met and Ellone smiled. She then turned away and walked out of the corridor.

It would be a long time before Squall saw Ellone again, but he would not forget the sad look in her eyes. The swordsman looked down at the floor again, thinking about Ellone's words.

Ellone followed Xu up to the 2F deck, where Headmaster Cid and the sorceress' SeeD were waiting for her. When they saw her the three SeeDs bowed their heads, a gesture that Ellone returned with a gracious smile. She then spoke a few words with Headmaster Cid, thanking him for allowing her to stay in the Garden. The headmaster accepted her thanks and took her hand in his, wishing her well.

The SeeDs escorted Ellone onto their ship. While they prepared to get underway, Ellone stood at the rails and waved up at the headmaster. Once or twice her eyes darted to the door behind the headmaster, as though she expected—or hoped—that someone else would come out to see her off. But the door remained closed.

Once the ship was ready, it set sail. The ship's engines hummed and it pulled away from Balamb Garden, heading out into the ocean. Once it was clear the white sails lifted and spread out, catching the wind. They caught the light of the sun, which was setting on the horizon, and seemed to glow a fiery orange.

Ellone remained on deck for as long as possible. She stayed on that deck, her arm raised, waving farewell to the Garden that had been her home for a short while. She remained on that deck until the Garden drifted out of sight and the night sky began to settle over the sky, until finally one of the SeeD came to escort her into the ship.

Yet before she walked below deck, Ellone turned her gaze towards the horizon. Her lips moved, repeating those same last words she had whispered to Squall in the library.

What Ellone said under her breath was…

You're my only hope.

Why do people depend on each other? In the end, you're on your own. I've made it this far by myself.

Sure, I couldn't do a thing when I was a kid…

I've depended on others, but… I'll be the first one to admit that I'm here because of other people.

After the sun had set and the SeeD ship was long gone, Squall left the library and returned to his dorm room. On the way he met Quistis, who tried to ask him about Ellone, but Squall was in no mood to talk. Shortly after entering his room, Rinoa arrived to try to talk to him, but Squall refused to answer the door. Rinoa stayed for a little while and then left, leaving Squall alone.

The swordsman lied down on his bed and put an arm over his face. Since his encounter with Ellone, he had been left deeply troubled. So many thoughts were swirling around in his mind. Thoughts of Ellone, the little girl from Winhill; of Ellone, the woman in the library; and of Laguna, the Galbadian soldier of the 'dream world'.

Except that it wasn't a 'dream world' anymore. It was the past. Somehow he and his comrades were viewing the past, and it was Ellone who was responsible. Squall could not understand it—did not want to understand it. To understand it meant he also had to accept that he had a part to play in it, and he did not want to play any part in what Ellone was trying to do.

Speaking with Ellone had brought up other memories as well; memories he had tried hard to forget. Memories of a time when he had been alone and confused, and helpless as to what he should do next. Much like he felt now. Right now Squall felt all of those things—loneliness, confusion, helplessness—just like he had back then. All of those thoughts and feelings played in his mind, and he was unable to stop them.

I'm fine by myself now, he told himself. I have all the skills I need to survive. I'm not a child anymore.

Squall rolled onto his right and looked at the wall.

That's a lie, he confessed. I don't know anything. I'm confused.

He drew his knees up to his chest.

I don't want to depend on anyone. How can I do that? Someone tell me…

The swordsman bit his lip.

Someone? So I'll end up depending on others after all.

Squall squeezed his eyes shut, and hoped that sleep would provide some comfort.

The rain fell heavily upon the old building. It poured down the walls, trickling into cracks in the stone walls. It fell from the roof and splashed onto the pavement of the garden, drenching the plants and flowers that grew there. It had been a dry year, and the plants were thankful for the heavy rainfall to ease their thirst.

The sky was dark and filled with heavy, black clouds, but no thunder rumbled yet. They hung so low over the building that it seemed they could scrape the rooftop. On the building's outskirts there was a tall cliff, and beyond that a large outcrop of rock where a lighthouse stood dark. The lighthouse was uninhabited, for there were no ships that came to these shores unless they had to.

The rain grew heavier. It formed large puddles in the garden. Some of these puddles joined together, creating rivulets that made their way towards the wooden gate at the end.

The rain was not the only thing in the garden. There was also a young boy, taking shelter beneath the roof. He had short brown hair that was still messy even after several attempts to brush it down. His eyes were bright blue, though they looked very dull and forlorn right then. His cheeks and eyes were red, as though he had been crying for a long while. No tears fell down his cheeks now, and the boy just stood watching the rain as it came down.

Every so often, the boy raised his eyes and looked towards the gate at the end of the garden. He would stare at it for a few moments and then look down at the ground again. Then his eyes would fill, and his lips trembled.

"…Sis…" the boy said, breaking through the sound of the falling rain. The boy lifted his head and looked at the clouds. "I'm… all alone. But I'm doing my best…"

The boy lowered his head again. He wiped his arm across his eyes, wiping away the fresh tears.

"I'll be okay without you, sis," he said, nodding. "I'll be able to take care of myself…"

The boy clenched his fist. He would be all right.

[End of Part Five]

[Coming Next: Part Six: Forgotten Memories]

A Note from the Authoress

And that's another part done with! Just another reminder about the poll I have up for you to vote on the scene for the Garden Festival. We have a fair few votes now but it's still not too late to have your say in which one you want! See you next update!