Okay, something really confused me from Chapter 184...or at least the summary...and that is asking if Kuon's a Russian so because Juliana is a Russian name I decide to make Juliena Russian, please forgive me if this does not turn out to be so. Also this story contains something that never happened in the manga but is my own creation, if you don't like it then I'm sorry but it seemed to fit for me. Thank you and thank you all for reading and reviewing in my past chapters

Chapter Eighteen :: Talking About The Past

"Kyoko-chan," Julie said the name bouncing off her tongue in a sweet manner, she smiled affectionately at the girl as they stood together in the clothes shop. Although Kuon had bought her many clothes already, Julie was just as eager to spoil her second son. "What about this?" she picked up a fashionable trench coat, "I mean, it has an elastic waist so it'll be perfect for when you get bigger."

Kyoko blushed at that before shaking her head and looked at the basket of clothes, some Julie had bought for herself and others that had been bought for her. "Julienna-san" Kyoko spoke formally only for Julie to click her throat in her mouth.

"Now Now Kyoko," she said to her softly, "What is this san nonsense," Kyoko's back straightened as she looked at the woman nervously, "Can't you pretend that I'm your mother."

"I wouldn't wish that on anyone," Kyoko said in a semi-dead voice, "No...not even on my wost enemies."

"But sooner or later Kuon will propose to you," she smiled as Kyoko looked down.

"Could you please not say that so freely," Kyoko paled as Julie bit her lip and then nodded at the basket as she put the coat in.

"This should be all and why not, it's bound to happen so you should keep optimistic. Tell him to marry you if need be," she laughed, "Kuon always did what I told him when he was little."

Kyoko looked up, feat in her eyes and she shook her head wildly from side to side, "I can't do that, I'm just his kouhai, someone he's taken pity on, he doesn't really love me Julie-san."

Julie frowned at that, a frown that could match the president's own one when it came to love, "Kyoko-chan..." she began and then let her face muscles loosen and sighed, "I'm sure my husband has given you a long speech on Kuon's attributes, in fact I know that he has since he told me, didn't he say that Kuon was a man of his word?"

"Y-Yes," Kyoko replied

"And if you were to count the number of times Kuon has now told you that he loves you what would that number be?" she asked as Kyoko's eyes widened but her expression grew more sorrowful.

"I...I wouldn't know, he's said it every day and it's already been..." she thought about it, "About seven weeks since I found out I was pregnant and he started telling me that," she looked around her to see the curious shoppers, "Julienna-san," she said nervously, "May we talk about this somewhere else, I feel that if I express all my thoughts here..."

"Then let's pay for all this and we can take a taxi back," she looked at her cash and smiled, there was plenty for both. "You know, sometimes when we feel love we're afraid of it. When Kuu first took me to his parent's home in Kyoto then I was scared, it was only after his father called me a dirty Russian and Kuu stood up for me that I knew it was alright to love him."

"So you're Russian?" Kyoko asked her as Julie blinked.

"From what you've let me know," Julie smiled as they walked towards the area where she was to pay, "You don't know a lot about me. I am originally a Russian model," she replied with a light smile, "Although I've been in America since I was eighteen and got a job at an agency there. I'm an American citizen but that doesn't mean that Kuon isn't an American."

"So..." Kyoko thought about this, "He really is an American," she blushed before shaking her head, "That only goes to prove my point Juliena-san" she said as Julie blinked at her before their time came to pay and Kyoko stayed silent as Julie made small talk with the cashiers. Once they were done, in fact once they had gotten out of the taxi and were about to head into the house Kyoko began again. "Don't Americans usually say I love you..." she said as Julie sighed.

"Although I admit that Kuon said that a lot when he was younger, I don't really think that Tsuruga-san had said it. After all Tsuruga Ren was the epitome of the Japanese man. I mean didn't he tell you or let you know that you were special?" Julie asked as Kyoko paled

"I..." she said nervously, "Yes," she finally squeaked.

"And didn't he look at you in a way he wouldn't just look at everyone else," Julie continued as Kyoko shivered and said in a dull voice.

"Please," she whispered, tears starting to pick up in her eyes, "Please don't use that as a reference, both Tsuruga-san and Kuon-san are actors, they could make anyone believe anything, even on one of my first jobs as a Love Me member I was told that Ren can make the people he wants to fall in love with him fall in love with him."

Julie frowned, "So you think this is just an act, that he's playing a trick on you?" she asked her as Kyoko nodded, "Why would me son do that? For another thing why would my son go so far as to revealing his true identity to trick you, I'm not saying that your feelings are not..." she struggled, trying to find the right word, "relatable, however my son didn't reveal himself for five years, why now?"

"I think his words on that matter was that no girl wanted to be with a character when they could have the real thing," Kyoko took the bag and started to walk to her nearly full closet and wardrobe, "To Tsuruga-san he must have really wanted to be in character and that girl could be anyone," she said doubtful of him. "I just..." she shivered, "I don't trust him." Sorry Julienna-san, but it's the truth. Tears came to her eyes.

"Well..." Julie sighed as she looked around the room, a troubled expression on her face, "If you really don't trust him that is a problem. You can't be with someone you don't trust," she looked away, "Is Kuon the first man you've lived with."

Kyoko paled, What would she think if I told her about Shoutaro...would she keep it a secret or would she try to approach him? No...she probably wouldn't care.

Julie's curiosity could be seen in her eyes and she sighed, "I guess that relationship didn't end so well."

"Well..." Kyoko nervously replied, "It wasn't really a relationship in that sense, it was...two childhood friends living together..." the anger rose in her voice, "only I thought I was in love with him."

"And you don't think you're in love with Kuon?" Julie guessed as Kyoko bowed her head

Kyoko looked at her, her whole expression crumbling, "I want to love him," she whispered as Julie wanted to hug the girl she had come to look at as her daughter. "I don't want it to hurt every time I say those words, I mean he's so excited about this baby and claiming it as his."

"So.." Julie bit her bottom lip in thought, "It's not really Kuon's love you're worried about it's...your own?"

"It's both," Kyoko whispered before Julie looked away

"Admittedly my son has made a lot of mistakes in the past," Julie told her, "But I don't think that he's mistaken about his love for you. Do you want to break up with him?"

"I can't do that!" Kyoko said panicked, "I mean he's done so much for me!"

"No matter what he's done and hasn't done my son has chosen to support you down this path, he's chosen to risk a lot for you because he wanted to, but that doesn't matter. If you've been honest with me about not being able to love him it'll only cause problems down the line." Julie looked at her and then Kyoko blinked back.

"Can I tell you about my first love Juliena-san?" she asked with clenched jaw and formed fist.

"Alright," Julie nodded, "I like your bedroom a lot Kyoko-chan, it has a sort of...fairy tale, princess theme to it."

"It does doesn't it?" she asked and Julie sighed.

"There's something I should tell you as well, however it's a secret. There is the chance that..." tears welled up in her own eyes, "If it gets back to Kuon then he may never speak to me again."

"I won't tell him!" Kyoko said, "But is it really alright if I know,"

"I think you have to, to understand what my son is going through right now it's important that you know," she began. "Rick isn't the only death my son feels responsible for."

Kyoko's eyes widened and she nodded, "Alright..."

Julie looked out the window and how late it was getting already, for having landed at nine it sure had been a long day, alongside two modeling shoots and taking Kyoko shopping and to a restaurant it was now seven thirty. This might be a long story but it was important, even if losing Kuon was the risk.

Kyoko looked at Julie before forcing a "lady's smile" onto her face, "Of course," she nodded before looking around and found Julie to go downstairs. "Downstairs?" she asked with widened eyes as the older woman nodded.

"Yes, it would be good to have something strong to drink...tea for you, I'll see what Kuon's got for me," she smiled, "Although he probably only has beer knowing him."

"Is it that important?" Kyoko asked as Julie looked at her and nodded silently

Half an Hour Later

Kyoko looked over at Julie having explained everything that Shou had done to her, her mood swings had been epic. First she was crying, then laughing in anger, then expressing how Shou had followed her and kissed her on Valentines Day. By the time she was done, Julie reached over and took her hand giving it a tight squeeze.

"I'm sorry that had to happen to you," she whispered, "Men can be jerks sometimes, especially the ones we think we love the most. It wasn't the nicest relationship to be in,"

Kyoko shook her head, "It wasn't a relationship at all, I think Kuon's the only one I've really had a relationship with but he already knows all of this, I mean that's why he gets so jealous of Shou," she flinched thinking about it before looking at Julie. "So what's Kuon's story."

"Kuon..." Julie sighed, "Has never told you about his girlfriend Jessica and Samantha Abrams has he?" she asked as Kyoko blinked in confusion, "Don't be surprised my son had dates and relationships with many girls..."

"I'm not surprised about that," Kyoko said at once, "But that something relates to a past relationship," she felt a knot in her stomach when thinking about Kuon with someone else, it made her feel a little angry. "Were they sisters?" she asked

Julie shook her head thinking of the best way to tell her this, "Kuon..." Julie whispered, "Has had a baby before...a daughter,"

Kyoko paused, "But...Kuon said that I'm the only girl he's ever properly loved..." she said wide eyed over why he would hide this and lie to her, inside, without even knowing the story it made her hate him just that tiny bit more. "Why isn't he with them instead of me."

"They're dead," Julie replied as Kyoko's eyes widened, "Would you like me to tell the story?" she asked as Kyoko nodded timidly scared that she would hate Kuon after hearing this.

Coming Up Next :: The Story and Flashbacks to the Past