So I really hope I didn't rush this and I'm hoping I got all my dates right ^^;; Sorry if this is too sad or if it feels rushed, I feel like crying myself after writing this. Well thank you all for your support and reviews and those people who have added to their favorites and alerts lists. It really means a lot

~Myst

Chapter Nineteen :: Bringing Up The Dead

Six Years Ago

Kuon smiled at his girlfriend as they lay in the same bed together, Jennifer Abrams had been his girlfriend for a few months now and she had just given him the best gift he thought he would ever get, the loss of his virginity. Smiling at her, he put his arms around her and watched as she snuggled closer to him. Kuon wasn't that popular among the other guys in his class, but most of the girls adored him. Jennifer was a Caucasian girl, one year older than the fifteen year old Kuon, a junior in high school whereas he was only a sophomore. Also Jennifer was the most popular girl, a cheerleader in the varsity squad and an actress who had appeared in a large number of the high school productions. She didn't however have the experience and family that Kuon had.

"Kuon..." she whispered softly, "I love you..."

"I love you too..." he whispered back holding her tighter and positioning himself to make those moves again, those moves she had said that she loved. He always found it wrong how Rick who was two years older than him talked about sex with girls, but now he had experienced it and knew how much of a good and pleasurable thing it was.

"Are you just saying that to make it so I don't leave," she laughed not seeing any reaction from her face.

"You want to leave?" he asked before getting down and laying on the bed, "I'm tired anyway..."

"Tell me not to go Kuon," she smiled back at him, she always had fears that Kuon wanted to get with her because of her beauty, popularity, and similar interests but the important things, the emotional side wasn't quite there. Leaning across him, Jennifer put her hand to his blonde hair, "I like it this color," she commented as he blinked at her.

"You don't think I should dye it?" he asked thankful that she had stopped her conversation about leaving but seriously if he was ever going to get to sleep she would have to leave, "I've always thought about dying it brown you know. Both my parents have blonde hair," he said uninterested in appearing as a Hizuri. It wasn't that he hated his parents, it was just that he wanted his own life apart from them.

"No..." she grinned, "I like it blonde, it suits you." She sighed before looking at him, "Tell me not to leave Kuon, tell me you want me to stay"

"You can stay if you want," he blinked as she looked at him with a cute pout, her long red hair behind her the same shade as a precious gem coming to about her waist, she looked at him her green eyes matching his own. She sighed before putting her clothes on and then left without a word. Kuon blinked after her before sighing, he placed a hand on his forehead, why was she angry again? Did she just not enjoy it?

Standing up he put his own clothes on too.

Present Day

"Kuon?" Yashiro asked looking at the man. He had finished the filming for the comedy series for today and sat in the dressing room staring into space.

Kuon's eyes glazed over sadly and he looked away, "It's just..." he began before shaking his head.

"As your friend isn't it better that you tell me?" Yashiro asked

"I was just thinking about the past, my parents being here and everything," he said as Yashiro nodded, "There were many stories about girls that I don't want Kyoko to know about and I'm just thinking, am I doing the right thing?"

"You mean acting as the father for the girl you love when she has her baby, I'd say that's a very selfless thing to do," he said as Kuon chuckled.

"Totally selfish actually," he replied before walking to the car. He dropped Yashiro back at LME and then stopped as he sat there in the car, the flashbacks coming back once again.

Six Years Earlier – Two Months After the Previous Flashback

Kuon looked at his new girlfriend Rebecca as they held hands together in the school yard, he kept hearing all these rumors about him and how cruel he was to have dumped Jennifer. How she had been trying to win him back by throwing up and turning bulimic in the bathroom. He wanted to argue back and say that she dumped him but that would have been a hit to his already growing pride. He didn't want to be hated after all. He smiled at Rebecca, did he love her? Probably not...but then why did he say he did, why did he think he did.

"Kuon..." Rebecca began, "You don't seem nearly as heartless as people think you are," she whispered playing with his long blonde hair, "I mean there are some really vicious rumors about you you know."

"Yeah" Kuon asked, raising an eyebrow and smiled, "Would you like to repeat them for me baby," he looked at her and then saw her shake her head.

"Not until you prove that you like me," she said as he kissed her on the lips and she blushed. "Kuon..." she asked nervously, "Why do you date girls a year or two older than you."

"Because you're the only girls who can handle me," he joked taking what other people were already saying about him and directing it towards her. "I mean, it wouldn't be any fun to impose upon a woman would it?"

Rebecca swept her long brown curls away from him, "You like girls with long hair too..." she thought as he nodded.

"You know Jennifer was in my class," she told him, "She told me to stay away from you that you couldn't really love anyone, is that true?" she asked doubtfully before looking at him, "I think Jennifer is going away for a long time, are you going to sleep with her again."

"Hey!" Kuon said looking at her fiercely, "When I'm with a girl I'm only with one girl at a time, when you say this relationship is over then the relationship is over."

"I know," Rebecca told him, "I know that you usually get dumped by girls but I'm not going to do that to you. I prefer the bad boy image anyway," she informed him before whispering, "No matter what you hear stay with me?" she asked

"As long as you stay with me" Kuon replied

Present Day

Kuon sighed, of course Rebecca wouldn't stay with him he thought as he started to drive home, she fell in love with the school quarterback who had taken an interest in her ever since Jennifer had left and when she asked him to give her reasons to stay he couldn't come up with any. He sighed, was this what Lory was talking about when he gave him all those thoughts about the past, how he didn't bother with women, that was until Kyoko.

He frowned, if Kyoko ever heard this story how would she feel. This was the reason why he didn't want to love anyone but it was too late, he was in love with Kyoko no matter how he tried to stop her. He only hoped that she would never find out.

Over Five Years Earlier – Five Months After Previous Flashback

Kuon was sitting down outside the house as he looked down he felt his heart beat in his chest, things were picking up with the gang he usually faced off against and he couldn't let his guard down. He took deep breaths as he thought about how they would get under his skin, even when he was younger he would get bullied but now he really had to pick his game up. He didn't want to get hurt again. Striking a punch and then a kick at the air he practiced his moves before hearing a car pull up and blinked as he saw Jennifer with her hair cut short, she had it in a pixie cut before she walked over to Kuon.

"Hey," she said exposing her seven month pregnant stomach as he looked at her with shock. He knew Jennifer was experienced but to be pregnant already "You look...different," she said seeing his shock at her belly, "I thought I'd come back to you tell you about her,"

"Her?" he asked, "You mean that isn't a melon you have up there,"

"No," she replied weakly, "It's your baby..." she looked at him as he stared at her in shock, "I know that you told me you didn't love me but I'm willing to give you a chance, this baby needs a father to love him and whereas I have another boyfriend now..." she saw Kuon's half insane smile.

"So..." he asked her, "You've come back to me for my parents money. That baby really isn't mine, we used protection."

"Yes..." she replied nervously, "However, sometimes that doesn't work Kuon," she looked down. Why did she have to make up that lie of another guy? Was it her fear that if she didn't Kuon wouldn't man up for the challenge. She looked at him, "It's yours...I could get a DNA test to prove it," she looked at him. "I know I should have said sooner, I'm sorry..."

"You dumped me," he blinked at her, "We broke up."

"I know..." she nodded slowly, "But let's live together Kuon!" she said her heart pounding in her chest and even Kuon could see her nervousness, "All three of us."

"I'm not interested, go back to your boyfriend," he replied in a harsh manner as she sniffed and nodded.

"I'm sorry," she replied, "I shouldn't have tricked you," with that she left as her friend who had driven her there looked at him. The way that Jennifer stared at him though was not something he would acknowledge for a couple more months, not until after her death.

Present Day

Kuon sighed as he entered the house to find Julie and Kyoko in conversation, a deep conversation where they couldn't even hear the door. He sighed but then heard Julie's words and felt Kyoko's pain radiating from that room.

"A couple weeks after the baby was due to be born we got the news that she had killed herself, it was in the newspapers but only a few people seemed to know that it was Kuon's and many people they told wouldn't believe her."

Kuon looked down remembering the last part of that story

Over Five Years Earlier – Three Months After Previous Flashback

The fifteen year old Kuon, nearly sixteen now sat in the garage...Rick had died a month or so ago and he found it painful to move, however day by day he was becoming stronger, he was learning what was happening around him. He had to go beat up those gangs, he had to...but Rick had been karma and he had to learn what had happened to him. Nervously picking himself up Kuon went to the living room perhaps he could eat something, it was there that he saw the paper on the table talking about Jennifer.

Because her parents had kicked her out he read she really had no one but her friends to turn to and even they neglected her. She had thoughts that she couldn't handle the baby, that she couldn't give him up either. This was her mistake she said, her friends reported. Kuon felt his stomach sink as he saw the picture of the baby and Jennifer with her shaved head matching the babies own. They had been pulled out of the ocean after drowning themselves.

He paused remembering the day she had come to him and told him that was his child. He wanted to throw up, why hadn't he helped her. He couldn't tell anyone the truth...that he really had loved her...in a way he would only realize five years later when a chicken told him the truth.