Disclaimer: No Twilight copyright infringement is intended. Stephanie Meyer owns all.
"Edward what the fuck are you doing?" I screamed turning around to face the refrigerator so I didn't have to look at him.
"What's the matter?" he asked smugly.
"You're standing there…he…here in the kitchen naked and you're asking me wh..what's the matter?" I was so flustered.
"Bella I'm just waiting for you to go out to the jacuzzi with me. Besides….it not like you've never seen me naked before. Stop being so uptight will ya." He sounded so calm and assure as if this was so normal. And I was cowering in front of the fridge like his dick was the big bad monster coming to get me. I could feel the blush rise from my chest up to my cheeks and I fucking hated how he was making me feel while he sounded so calm and cool.
"Bella I'm waiting for you," he approached, "You know it's not going to hurt you…I mean I'm not going to hurt you." He chuckled.
Edward laughing at me really hit a bad note with me and I needed to show this son of bitch that I'm not fazed by him or his porn penis.
It was time for me to put my big girl panties on and show this man that I'm not scared of him being naked. I inhaled and turned around slowly.
I looked at him squarely in the eye, "Edward I'm not worried about you or it hurting me honey. But I will have to decline your offer to join you in the jacuzzi."
"Why…you just said you would."
"That was before I realized you were standing here naked. Edward it's inappropriate for you to just go out to the jacuzzi nude and expecting me to join you. I may have seen you naked but my friends certainly have not."
He whispered standing closer to me, "Why are you being so difficult and uptight." This time I wasn't going to move, "Every woman should see me nude at least one point in her life," he smiled.
I couldn't help but laugh at the audacity of his statement, "Man, you have some balls," he stared at me with wide eyes and he looked down at himself and back at me.
"Thank you Bella."
"You know what I meant! Ugh….you're so….infuriating!"
"You know you walked right into that one."
He stood directly in front of me smiling and I couldn't help but smile back.
He began stroking up and down my arm with the back of his fingertips. The touch was so simple but felt so intimate. And I began to chuckle and shake my head.
"What are you laughing at?" He asked.
I threw my hands up in the air like a crazed woman, "Dude you're standing here naked in the kitchen that's why I'm laughing. This feel so surreal….like the twilight zone."
"Well…we can get out of this kitchen if you would just join me outside."
"No Edward I'm not. I'm going to my room to make a call."
"Prudish Bella." He said simply.
"No I'm not a prude Edward. But what happened to that sweet guy I met years ago…huh?"
I noticed I hit a sour note with him this time because he frowned minutely, "That guy was a fucking loser and he's no more," he stared at me icily.
"Too bad then because I really liked him."
"Yeah too bad for you," he turned and snatched his white towel off the counter chair and walk out the door to the jacuzzi. And I just stared after his ass….his nicely toned ass. Even his back was beautifully contoured and sculpted with lovely broad shoulders to top it off. I wished I could join him out there but he's way too arrogant and I promised myself I would stay away from him.
Well…I won that round.
I decided to go to my room and call Jacob. I plopped down across the bed on my tummy and called him.
"Hey bitch!"
"Hey Jake how ya doing?"
"Oh…I'm fucking peachy doll. I'm just sitting here in boring ass Port Angeles while my friends party it up with fuck hot guys in fuckin Lake Tahoe!"
"Oops…I thought Alice asked you to come too."
"No she didn't. What….did she think I was going to take her Ken doll away from her! I can please him better than her midget ass can anyway."
"How do you know what he looks like?"
"Oh...I see the pictures on facebook with them on a boat."
I guess their posting pictures on facebook while out on the lake...wippee.
"Well since Ken doll is taken by midget bitch I would take that other piece of man meat. He's big just how I like em. I wonder is he a bottom."
"Jake he's not gay! Besides...he likes Rosalie."
"Whatever...Ice bitch dont have nothing on me either."
I just shook my head at his insanity. "No Jake...no bitch have nothing on you."
"See Bella...that's why you're always my favorite. Why aren't you in any of these pictures?"
I can hear him clicking through the pictures.
"Actually their out at the lake right now and I decided to stay here at the house and clean the kitchen after I cooked breakfast."
"What!"
"Jake stop screaming in my ear!"
"You mean to tell me that you're in fuckin Lake Tahoe surrounded by hot guys and you're there cooking breakfast like fuckin Betty Crocker while those bitches get to jet ski in string bikinis."
"I chose to cook breakfast Jake. No one asked me."
"Exactly! Why are you acting like an old ass woman. Betty White probably get more action than your ass."
"Whatever Jake."
"So there just two guys?"
Oh here we go. I really didn't want to answer this question.
"No there's actually another one an-"
"Shit...he's sexy!"
"Who?"
"Edward Cullen that's who."
"How do you know Edward?"
"He's a friend of Jasper's on facebook...duh Bella...stay with me here."
"Oh."
"Is he there at the cabin too?"
"Unfortunately."
"What...unfortunately? I would fly down there right now and give him a head job that would make his daddy scream."
"Eww Jake TMI."
"Stop being a prude Bella."
Okay...there goes that word again and I'm tired of hearing it.
"He's a dick anyway Jake."
"No it's probably just you being so stuck up. If Midget Bitch is with Ken Doll and Man Meat with Ice Bitch you should go for it with Fuckhot Cullen. I can tell that man has a big dick Bella."
"If it could be so simple."
"Baby it could be so simple. Just get on your knees in front of him, unzip him, pull down trou and swallow that dick girl."
"You know what Jake that's about enough for today. I will talk to you later okay."
"Seriously Bella you need to have fun. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever known. You were right there with me the whole time my dad beat the shit out of me and kicked me out of the house when I came out. Alot of fuckers turned their backs on me when I came out but you stood right there beside me. Just have fun for once okay. Just do that for me."
I exhaled. "Okay Jake I will. I love you." I thought I heard someone outside my door. I guess their back from the lake.
"Love you too bitch."
"Bye."
I got up to see who was outside my door but no one was there. I went out into the kitchen and I saw wet feet track all through the halls. I guess Edward finished in the jacuzzi. I saw the girls and guys walking towards the house.
"Hey Bella!" Alice looked so ecstatic coming through the door. "The lake was sooo much fun. I wished you would have came."
"Me too. Maybe next time." Emmett and Jasper plopped down on the sofa to watch TV.
"What have you been doing. Have Edward been bothering you?" Rose whispered.
"No...not all." Rose would have a shit fit if I told her what he did.
"Well Bella I'm going to ask you one more time. Will...you...come...shopping?" Alice asked with puppy dog eyes.
"Yeah Alice I will and I'm going to get a fuckhot dress for tonight!"
Rose and Alice hi fived.
"Let's shower Rose and get ready," Alice asked
Emmett eyes grew wide, "Are you showering together?"
"No silly," Alice giggled.
"Neatherdal," Rose huffed walking off to her room.
I'm going to have fun tonight. Fuck being safe and quiet Bella. I hope tonight will be a night to remember.
A/N: So Bella didnt get in the jacuzzi with Edward. What would you have done? I think I already know.
Special Thanks to sandy4321, EnidBarb, and imprintedtotwilight!