LONER
How long had it been? Days? Months? Years? Eons? Had he survived the end of the universe in this wretched place?
It was impossible to tell. Sponby had long since learned how to control the physical aspects of the Terrain of Testament, such as the time of day or the weather, his internal clocks had long since lost track or completely shut down.
Sponby stood perfectly still. He had passed though his 'vengeful god' phase and was now in his 'melancholic living statue' stage. It would take a while, but he would eventuallly go into his 'hopefully escaping' phase, and from there, 'playing God'... at which point he would repeat the cycle all over again. How many forms of life had he created? Even he couldn't remember anymore.
Oh, he'd tried to escape. He still had the ability to create portals, spaceships and the like. But no matter how far or how fast he flew, or the power of his portals, he always ended up right back here, in this blasted place.
But, like Warrior before him, Sponby had eventually become 'attuned' to the Terrain of Testament. He had refined and enhanced his multitude of powers to extreme levels, and with the power of the Terrain flowing through him, he was more powerful than he could have ever dreamed - but what was the point of it when he was stuck here?
Suddenly, being an immortal shadow-god wasn't so nice after all.
Sponby gathered all of his energy into a single point in his body, then released it. The explosion reduced his body to bits of quantum strings, strewn across the Terrain. But, even in this state, his consciousness survived. Each miniscule bit of energy contained an equally miniscule part of his consciousness. And, no matter how far they were scattered, they were always connected, each small bit adding up to the being that called itself Sponby.
Was this a function of his Akasha? He had thought for a long time about that word. He had no idea what it meant, but he knew that the Witchez called it 'subspace'; of course, the Witchez (and Dredge) might have been lying, so he had no idea if that was accurate or not. But it would certainly explain how he could call up giant robots or weapons almost instantly. His body was just a conduit to hammerspace, and the act of 'absorption' was him putting things in there for future use.
His body started pulling itself together. It wasn't a conscious act; at this point, Sponby could care less if he had a physical body or not. But perhaps it was another function of his Akasha.
But it could just as easily be a law of the Terrain itself. Sponby couldn't absorb the Terrain, and it couldn't be damaged or destroyed, only manipulated, so it was likely very different from his own universe. So perhaps the laws of physics were different too: maybe there was some sort of law that imposed absolute order.
Whatever. It didn't matter.
In an eternity and an instant, Sponby returned to his normal human form. He stood perfectly still once again. Soon, he would try to make another escape. But for now, he just stood there. Alone.
SPLIT
Sponby shifted into his shadow form. He reached into his own body, rearranging the matter and energy within it into a weapon. Specifically, a sword. He added various properties to it: time-space bending from ES Mines, parts of The Quickening's FTL engine, the portal device, and various other methods of manipulating MST.
He drew the sword, which he dubbed the Dimensioncleaver. The blade resonated with the energy of its components.
Sponby swung the blade, and the Dimensioncleaver lived up to its name: with a single stroke, the very fabric of space-time parted in front of Sponby. The gap widened, and Sponby saw empty darkness - it was a void, yes, but it was the first he'd seen of it since entering this hell.
He stepped through the gap, into the void. He was free... after so long, he had escaped.
But where was he? Sponby tried reaching out, but he couldn't feel anything. No, he could feel something... it was...
Himself. He could feel himself all around him.
Sponby flew forward, as fast as he could. The void around him shrank as he kept going, eventually shrinking to the width of a single atom; he forced himself through it, and he ended up emerging from his own body, back on the Terrain of Testament.
It was an odd feeling. Not necessarily painful, but odd. He fully reintegrated himself. Back at square one.
In rage, Sponby turned the Dimensioncleaver on himself. He would cut the Akasha from himself and die. He cleaved himself in half... creating two Sponbys.
DOPPEL
"Hello, Sponby." Sponby said.
"Well, I've finally snapped." Sponby said.
"Oh no, you snapped long ago. This is old hat for you." Sponby said.
"Right, whatever." Sponby still held the Dimensioncleaver. He cut Sponby in half again, creating two more Sponbys.
"Hey, stop that!" Sponby said. "I'm getting really dizzy!"
"At least this is staving off ennui." Sponby said. He transformed into his magic demonwolf form and grabbed Sponby, eating him. Sponby jumped on Sponby, and all three were re-absorbed into the same being.
"God damnit." Sponby said. He threw the Dimensioncleaver to the side. It landed point-down in the Terrain, cleaving through it. What's the point? It'll just lead back to inside myself, Sponby thought.
But something strange happened. The dimensional gap widened, and kept growing. The edge pushed Sponby away, and an invisible field of some sort prevented him from jumping into it. The rift grew until it covered nearly the entire Terrain.
And then, a giant face came through.
SPIRAL
More accurately, a giant face that appeared to be attached to the bow of a battleship. The ship kept coming through, and Sponby was amazed by the utter size: his innate senses told him that this ship was bigger than one of his Dragon starships.
Once it was all the way through, the ship righted itself, and the rift closed. Sponby sensed that there were comparatively few organic life-forms upon the ship.
Sponby leapt up onto the ship's deck, which took him about 20 seconds despite moving pretty darn fast. Waiting for him on the deck was a tall, bald man with an awesome beard, wearing white pants and with chest hair shaped like a galaxy.
"What? Who're you?" Sponby asked.
"I am Lordgenome, the greatest Spiral warrior ever. And you?"
"Sponby." He looked pretty threatening, but Sponby could take him.
"Oh, you think you could take me?" Lordgenome taunted. "Very well then. Let's see how you fare!" The top of his head burst into flame. He rushed at Sponby and delivered a powerful punch, knocking Sponby to the ground before he could even react.
"Ha, not bad!" Sponby said. For the first time in a very long time, he actually felt excited about something. He powered up to his 'Tzar' form, and fired a bunch of shadow tendrils. Lordgenome created a powerful green aura around himself, burning the tendrils away.
"Ha! That trick won't work against me!" The aura around Lordgenome flared, forming into dozens of small drills. He fired them all at Sponby; Sponby tried absorbing them, but the drills exploded upon impact, taking large chunks out of him.
"Drills?" Sponby questioned.
"Drills! They are the preferred weapon of a Spiral warrior."
"Do they symbolize your penis or something?"
"Yes!" Lordgenome created an even bigger drill on his arm and rushed Sponby again. Sponby increased the size and number of his arms, grabbing the drill mid-flight, but Lordgenome spun right through them and through Sponby. He threw the drill to the size and let loose with finger, mouth and eye beams, adding smaller holes to the big one in Sponby's chest.
DUEL
Naturally, Sponby regenerated in an instant.
"Not shabby! But you're just a Lord. I'm a Great-Lord!" Sponby boasted.
"Lordgenome is my name. My title is 'Spiral King'!" Lordgenome shot back.
"Let me guess: it's a self-appointed title."
"No. In fact, I was given it for saving the universe: a feat which my psychic contact tells me you have yet to accomplish!" Lordgenome generated drills on both of his arms, and rushed Sponby again. Sponby blocked him with a Protect Shade, then blasted him across the length of the deck with a Shinku Hadoken.
"Bitch please! I would've been saving universes left and right if I hadn't been stuck here for an ungodly amount of time."
"Yes, of course you would." Lordgenome reappeared right behind Sponby. Sponby grabbed an axe and started swinging, but Lordgenome deflected each blow with the drills on his arms; they fought with melee weapons for a while, until Sponby surprised him with a slash to the gut.
Lordgenome healed himself with his own energy, then went back on to attacking. Sponby flew out of range, only for Lordgenome to follow; they fought in the air for a while, but this time at range. Sponby had a collection of ranged weapons which he used liberally, while Lordgenome seemed happy with more drills for both offense and defense.
"Seriously man, I get it. You don't have to shove the metaphor down my throat." Sponby said.
"As you wish!" Lordgenome grinned as he concentrated green energy between his hands; he let it loose as a powerful energy beam, which Sponby just barely dodged. He fired a bunch of missiles back, most of which actually hit Lordgenome and knocked him to the ground. Sponby landed back on the deck.
"So let's just get this over with: we'll both put all of our power into one last attack and see who loses." Sponby said.
"Fine by me." Lordgenome flew back a fair distance.
"IRON FIST TECHNIQUE LEVEL 5: BIG BANG PUNCH!" Sponby created a massive shadow fist in front of him, which he threw at Lordgenome.
"GIGA! DRILL! BREAKER!" Lordgenome created a massive drill and flew at Sponby.
Both fist and drill collided in midair. Sponby flew after the fist, pushing it harder and putting more of his power into it; both were stalemated for about 5 minutes (complete with Lordgenome's bridge crew cheering him on), until both attacks exploded impressively for another 5 minutes.
BEFRIENDING
Both combatants fell onto the deck. But neither was out of energy; Sponby gathered more from the Terrain, while Lordgenome simply created more for himself.
"You're a worthy opponent, Sponby." Lordgenome said. "Tell me, how did you come to be here in the first place?"
"I thought you had a psychic friend or something?"
"Yes, but I would prefer to hear it from you."
Sponby explained his origin and how he got stuck on the Terrain.
"And then you came along. How'd you end up here?" Sponby asked.
"My ship, the Cathedral Terra, fell into a dimensional rift caused by your sword."
"So you're stuck here too?"
"I don't think so. My particular brand of FTL travel works differently than yours, so we should be able to escape. And since you've shown great battle prowess, I offer you the chance to come along." Lordgenome extended his hand, which Sponby took in gratitude.
They both flew up to the bridge of the Cathedral Terra. Lordgenome's crew was staffed by 17 identical-looking red-haired girls in skimpy bikinis, and Mewtwo.
"That was a pretty impressive battle!" Yoko 9 said.
"Yeah, I thought you might lose for a second there!" Yoko 13 said.
"I am loathe to say it, but Sponby here outstrips me in raw power as long as we stay in this place." Lordgenome said. "Which is why we will leave it immediately. Is the Perception Teleportation ready?"
"Not yet." Mewtwo, evidently the first mate, said. "This place is interfering with my abilities. I cannot lock on to anything physical."
"I see." Lordgenome turned to Sponby. "I assume you have things you'd like to do once we get back to the normal universe?"
"Yeah. I wanna check up on my fleet." Sponby said.
"Very well. Then focus on your fleet... picture your ships and their crew in as much detail as you can." Lordgenome took his place at the captain's chair. Sponby thought hard about the Dragons, BURTON, Asimov and Susan, and the planet that had once stood there. He looked up at the screen, which showed a crystal-clear picture of one of his Dragons.
"Target acquired... and locked on! Coordinates confirmed! Ready to warp, Captain!" Yoko 2 said.
"Make it so!" Lordgenome pointed dramatically, and the Super-Spiral engines of the battleship Cathedral Terra roared to life.
TAKE OFF
A massive portal opened up in front of the Cathdedral Terra.
"Captain! We're getting all sorts of dimensional interference!" Yoko 2 shouted.
"Keep going! The shields will hold." Lordgenome said.
They kept going forward, Sponby could feel the ship shaking underneath him, but he wasn't worried about being destroyed - no, he was worried that they wouldn't be able to escape. This was the first time in a long time that he was truly hopeful... but he didn't know what he'd do with himself if they were still stuck in the Terrain of Testament. At least he'd have company this time.
"The interference is too strong! We won't make it!"
"I see." Lordgenome disappeared. The main screen turn on, showing a comm link between Lordgenome's current position (wherever that was) and the bridge.
"What's your status, Captain?" Yoko 5 asked.
"I am assuming direct control of Dekabetsu."
"Huh? Don't you mean Teppelin?"
"Quiet!" The entire crew was violently thrown to the ground by the sudden burst of speed. Sponby looked outside, and he saw the portal flickering in and out of existence; fortunately, the Cathdedral Terra made it through just in time.
It had finally happened. Sponby had finally escaped the Terrain of Testament.
ARMADA
The Cathedral Terra reappeared in normal space.
"Targets off the port side!" one of the Yokos shouted. The radar was showing hundreds of small targets, as well as 3 bigger targets.
"Target them all with Piercing Missiles!" Lordgenome said as he reappeared. The Cathedral Terra fired thousands of missiles, each of which was equipped with probability-alteration technology that always hit their target, regardless of shields or anything else.
"Wait!" Sponby said. He could feel something familiar. "BURTON! Can you hear me?"
"SPONBY?" BURTON's mechanical voice responded, though it was staticy. "WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY THE GREAT MACHINE FORCE! AND THEY HAVE DEPLOYED ANOTHER SUPER EXADIAN-CLASS SHIP."
"No, that's me!" Sponby said. "Hey, change your missiles' targets to the enemies! The big ones are part of my fleet!"
"Done." Lordgenome waved his hand. Some of the blue streaks changed their course mid-flight, taking out most of the smaller ships.
"I assume you will want to go back to your own ship." Lordgenome threw a small gold drill on a necklace at Sponby. "You can use this to keep in touch with me. Just plug it in to your communications system." Sponby was teleported to the bridge of Dragon Two.
"Sponby!" Asimov said. "Where'd you go?"
"It's a long story. How long have I been gone?"
"TWO DAYS." BURTON said. "THIS FLEET ONLY ATTACKED US AROUND AN HOUR AGO. HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN FOR YOU?"
"...Long." Sponby said. "Okay, so what's our status?"
"DRAGON ONE, THREE AND FOUR ARE ALL DESTROYED. DRAGON FIVE IS HEAVILY DAMAGED, BUT STILL HOLDING OUT. AND DRAGON TWO IS DAMAGED, BUT IT'S THE ONLY ONE WITH ACTIVE WEAPONS."
"I see." Sponby took the drill necklace and jammed it into one of the consoles. A green gauge appeared on it and started filling up.
"I'M RECEIVING A LARGE INFLUX OF UNKNOWN ENERGY!" BURTON said. "REPAIRS COMPLETE! READY FOR TRANSFORMATION!"
"Alright, let's do it!" Sponby merged with Dragon Two, and they transformed into the Dragonlord.
"Transformation?" Asimov said. "This ship can transform? That's amazing!"
"So, his ship can transform as well." Lordgenome noted, watching the Dragonlord unload with a Wave-Motion Buster. "Very well then! Prepare the Cathedral Terra for transformation as well!"
"Yes sir!" Yoko 8 said. "The Tep- I mean, Dekabetsu has more than enough energy!"
"Securing vital areas... Done! Ready to transform!" The Cathdedral Terra shifted around, gaining a lot of mass; it became the Cathedral Lazengann, a massive black figure with giant drills on its shoulders.
"CAPTAIN! THAT OTHER SHIP HAS SHIFTED INTO HUMANOID FORM AS WELL! AND ITS POWER DWARFS OUR OWN!" BURTON announced.
"Well, we can't let him show us up!" Sponby said. "DRAGONLORD TECHNIQUE LEVEL 6: 135% SUPERLASER!" The chest of the Dragonlord opened up, revealing a giant gun barrel; with some prep time, it fired exactly 65536 lasers of various strengths, clearing out the rest of the fleet.
REMATCH
"So you have destroyed my fleet. It does not matter. My flagship has more than enough power to crush both of you." a familiar voice said. The last remaining ship, a Super Exadian-class, started firing on the Dragonlord.
"Wait, that voice. It's..."
"KHAAAAAAAAAN!" Lordgenome shouted. "I thought I had eliminated you!"
"No, I was the one that eliminated you." Khan said. "But it seems that we have another chance to settle our rivalry." The Super Exadian switched its target to the Cathedral Lazengann, though its weapons were similarly ineffective.
Lordgenome responded with another barrage of piercing missiles, but the Super Exadian's actual armor was thick enough to absorb and regenerate the damage.
"My ship was upgraded to deal with you, Sponby. It is in the same class as the other Super Exadians, but it is three times more powerful." Khan explained.
"You're losing your touch, Khan!" Lordgenome said. "You never would have explained your powers to the enemy during the height of our battles!"
But Khan's exposition had another purpose. The Ultra-Super Exadian fired a turbolaser at the Cathedral Lazengann, piercing its shields and armor and leaving a huge hole in it.
"Damn!" Lordgenome cursed. "Sponby! Let's deal with this bastard!"
"You got it! Come on, BURTON!"
"GIGA! DRILL! BREAKER!" The Cathedral Terra attached the giant drills on its shoulders to one another, then flew at the Ultra-Super Exadian while creating a massive whirlwind in space.
"SPIRAL TECHNIQUE LEVEL 2: MAELSTROM CANNON!" A spiral galaxy formed in front of the Dragonlord. Sponby punched the middle of the galaxy, firing a double-helix beam at the Ultra-Super Exadian. Both attacks hit it at the same time, completely overwhelming its shields, armor and regeneration, destroying it completely.
"From hell's heart, I... stab at thee." Khan's last transmission echoed throughout the void.
PARTING
With Khan good and dead, both the Dragonlord and Cathedral Lazengann transformed back into their ship modes.
"I'M NOT DETECTING ANY MORE SHIPS ON THIS BRANE." BURTON said.
"Yes, it is done... for now." Lordgenome said. "What will you do next, Sponby?"
"Well, I'm still not strong enough to assault the Heart of Machines." Sponby said, returning to his normal form. "I'm going to build up my fleet some more."
"I see. Since you're not ready yet, I believe I will travel around this universe for a while. If you need me, use that Core Drill. You'll know what to do when the time is right." The Cathedral Terra created another portal and warped off.
Sponby spent the next few days repairing and recreating his other four Dragons. He also told his 'crew' about his time on the Terrain of Testament and his rescue by Lordgenome.
"I WAS UNABLE TO LOCK ON TO THE COORDINATES OF THE WARRIOR'S SPACE BRIDGE. FROM MY ANALYSIS, IT DOES NOT RESEMBLE ANY KNOWN TYPE OF SPACE TRAVEL." BURTON said.
"Then where the hell did it come from?" Sponby wondered. "Whatever, at least we know how to escape if we end up there again. But for now, we're going to raise an army."
SUE
Sponby's time on the Terrain of Testament had given him a lot of time to reflect on his life. Among other things, he'd come to a realization:
He was basically a Mary Sue.
From a relatively normal life, he'd been tortured and experimented on, and then turned into a shadow being. And from there, he traveled the multiverse, absorbing powers from various fictional universes and basically becoming a god.
Was his some sort of cruel joke? Was he a puppet in some sort of cosmic play dictated by the powers that be? Or was it chance, a quirk in the multiverse that let a normal man gain unimaginable powers?
But Sponby had come to another realization: It didn't matter. Sure, his entire life to this point might be staged, but if he couldn't see the fourth wall, why should he worry about it?
Also, he realized that, if he was a Mary Sue, who better to serve as his soldiers than other Mary Sues? If the multiverse contained every possible permutation of events, he'd eventually find universes where Laura or Jenna existed.
And this is why he was standing in front of Hogwarts. That would be enough, but this particular version was host to a very specific person. Yes, the most infamous of Mary Sues in his home universe:
Enoby Raven Dark'ness Dementia Tara Way.
He could almost feel the eyes of wizards and witches upon him as he walked through the massive doors. He was hiding his power as best as he can, but since he wasn't that familiar with Harry Potter in general (much less My Immortal), he wasn't sure if they could probably detect his true power or not.
"Oh my god, who are you?" Sponby looked to his left, and saw an impractically-dressed girl looking back at him. Yep, her natural Sue-ness was drawing her right to him.
She was wearing a tight black tube top, a leather micromini, leather fishnets, black hooker boots, crimson lipstick and nail polish, and her hair was dark with purple streaks.
"Hello. Are you Ebony?" Sponby asked.
"Yeah I am? You're just some fucking dumb prep fag aren't you!" Enoby asked.
"No, actually." Sponby shifted into his shadow form; he felt a bit of resistance, but his sheer power overwhelmed any magical barriers this school had. He manipulated his appearance to add more defined features and red streaks, as well as long flowing hair and an open jacket exposing his thin bishie chest.
"Wow! You're totally goffic man! Come on, you're my friend now!" Ebony said. She grabbed his hand and tried pulling him toward the Slytherin dorm, but Sponby resisted.
"Ebony, I have a special task for you. How would you like to save the multiverse?" Sponby spoke in a calm but authoritative voice: he was applying various Charisma-boosting and Charm effects to himself, though he wasn't sure if that would help at all.
"Yeah but saving the universe is hard? I gotta go get more clothes from Vampire Hot Topic!" she protested.
"Tell you what, Enoby." Sponby split some of his body off, concentrated it in his palm, and handed it to Ebony. "Take this, and you'll have all of the clothing you'll need. And you'll never have to change out of it if you don't want."
"Huh?" Ebnoy touched the shadows with her other hand, and it attached itself to her body. She changed her clothing to an impractical fancy princess outfit (all in black and dark red of course).
"Wow that's super goffic! Okay come on, you can give this to the rest of my friends too!"
"I don't think you understood me, Ebony." Sponby amplified the effects of his compelling voice. "You can bring your friends as well, but you're coming with me."
"Okay." Enony psychically called her friends: Draco, Vampire, B'loddy Mary, Willow and Britney (who had seen the error of her ways and converted to Stanism).
But suddenly, a powerful beam of light pierced the door! Sponby blocked it, only to see his old nemesis...
SPOONT AGAIN
"Sponby! I've heard of your feats, and I'm here to stop you!" Spoont yelled. "This place will be your grave!"
"Yeah, no." Sponby used Auto-Fucking-Shotguns! It's super-effective! Spoont took a ton of damage, though he managed to regenerate it in no time. But this particular AU Spoont lacked Sponby's training on the Terrain, so he was far outclassed.
Not only that, but Enoby and her friends attacked him and drained his light energy with their vampire teeth. Suitably empowered, they blasted him to smithereens with Maximized Avada Kedavras. Sponby absorbed the remains, getting a minor power boost (pretty much a drop in the ocean, but every drop counted).
"Wow, we did it!" Enoby and her friends cheered. For good measure, Sponby absorbed the entirety of Hogwarts, gaining the magical power of the school and all of its inhabitants (save for the ones Enoby wanted spared, which included Dumbeldore for some reason.)
"What the hell did you do that for?" Dumbledore asked of Sponby.
"Why not? I need all of the power I can get, and your school happens to have several enchantments that might be useful." Sponby said. "Besides, I'll return you to the same place, just in a slightly different universe."
"Hey!" Enoby used her Sueness to detect a giant meteor headed toward them. The meteor was on fire, but it was a weird fire that none of them had ever encountered...
"Ah, that's my second prospect." Sponby grinned.
Enoby and her friends deflected the meteor wreathed in fuckfire, blowing up Mars instead. A very angry Harry Potter, dressed in unholy space armor, descended upon the world followed by the screams of a thousand demons.
"Who is the one that prevented me killing the fuck out of Hogwarts? I will doom the one who did so to an eternal sentence of agonizing torment!" Harry screamed in the tongues of eldritch magical gods that lived beyond the veil.
"Harry, right?" Sponby floated up to greet him. "How would you like to direct your destructive tendencies toward a common enemy?"
"Fool! My actions are controlled by me alone, and no queer ichor will change my path!"
"I see. Would you change your mind if I defeated you in battle?"
"I am the strongest!" Harry opened a portal to the Plane of Infinite Jesters with Groinsaws where those killed by said inhabitants were cut up with cheese graters for an eternity while what's left of their minds is thrown to the rape apes.
Sponby started absorbing the infinite jesters while Enoby and friends fired all sorts of spells at Harry. The battle was stalemated for a while, until Harry's last friend descended as well.
"Harry!" Grumbledump shouted. "Go with them! They hold the secret of infinite destruction!"
"Who the hell are you, you motherfucker!" Regular Dumbledore asked.
"I am Rumblecop!" 30H-Dumbledore replied. "Now, let us take out my protege and then make sweet monkey love!"
"Yes!" Dumbledore and Tremblegorp blasted Harry with W. Meteor, then fused together into an unholy abomination of flesh and steel and consumed half the planet to power a beam that finally defeated Harry.
"Fine! I will direct my considerable power toward your cause! But in return, I demand a tribute!"
"You got it." Sponby closed the portal to the Plane of Infinte Jesters, then pulled out a chainsaw guitar that contained the essence of the Pirate King from his body and gave it to Harry.
"And we are off!" Fusion Dumbledore opened a portal to the Dragon, and they all stepped into it. Sponby finished absorbing the other half of the planet, and followed them up.
FREE
The Dragon flew back to their base of operations. The other Dragons had managed to construct a rudimentary space station for the crew, and several incomplete ships floated around it. Of course, he would need more than a few ships to assault the Heart of Machines: his plan was to use the Dragons as fighters for larger, Deus Est Machina-sized ships, though that was just a dream for now.
But Sponby was well on his way to reaching that dream. He had the entirety of the multiverse to gather resources from, and BURTON had modified their shields so that the Great Machine Force would have extreme difficulty locating them.
But for now, Sponby needed more soldiers. He had someone else specifically in mind... He took the Exceliator, a ship roughly as large as the Quickening but much faster, to locate this person.
He met with some resistance around the alternate Earth: the Combine had installed planetary shields. He could easily go through them, but that would alert their forces, and the Exceliator was light on armaments - but for his fleet, 'light' on armanents would probably be enough to reduce this entire planet to cinders, so he figured he'd be okay.
Sponby broke through the shields, and flew over Eastern Europe. The black tower dominating what they called City 17 was glowing; based on the local MST readings, they were preparing to beam in more targets.
Sponby leapt from the Excleiator onto the top of the tower. A squad of Combine soldiers immediately fired at him, but do you think Sponby was hurt? If you thought 'yes', you obviously haven't read a fanfic before.
Sponby took out the soldiers with ease, then heard an explosion a few floors under him. Sponby cut through the intervening floors with a laser chainsaw, and nearly landed on top of his potential recruit - John Freeman, brother of Gordon Freeman.
John Freeman grabed a rocket launcher and fired it at the Combines fighting him and they all blew up. The explosion caused some of the surrounding architecture to crumble, weakening the citadel further; it wasn't going to last for much longer.
"Are you with the Combines because if you are I will crush you because I am John Freeman!" John Freeman declared.
"No, I'm not with the Combines. In fact, I'm here for you, John Freeman." Sponby said.
"I have no time for this I must press the botton and stop the Combine tower from exploding!" John Freeman said as he ran past Sponby.
"Don't worry, it's done." Sponby stretched his arm up the holes he created in the tower and pressed a button, stopping the tower's self-destruct sequence. More Combines teleportaled in, but John Freeman made quick work of them.
"They won't stop coming!" John Freeman said, despairing. He'd taken an absurd amount of punishment, and the only thing keeping his body moving was adrenaline: but even so, he wouldn't last much longer.
Sponby noted this, and surrounded John Freeman with his shadows. They quickly absorbed him, but before his consciousness faded, Sponby split off a piece of himself and placed John Freeman's consciousness within it. The blob of shadows shaped itself into John Freeman's appearance.
"What did you do to me Sponby?" John Freeman asked.
"I healed you. Now, listen to me. I'm going to destroy all of the Combine citadels on this planet, but even with that, the Combine won't stop. The only way to stop them is by fighting their masters - the Great Machine Force."
"I see." John Freeman said. "I will fight. As long as Henry Freeman and the other humens can live in peace I will fight forever if I have to!"
"No John Freeman! We fight too!" Henry Freeman and the other humens charged up the Combine tower. "We heard everything Sponby said, and we will fight and save the universe!"
"Very well then! We will all fight for great justice!" The humens cheered, and Sponby led them into a portal, which led directly to the Sponby Base.
Sponby had a few more stops before his army was ready.
HAPPY
Four robots stood before a widening gap into a dimension of pure chaos and evil. Inside those robots were the souls of four children who had fought all across the world to prepare for this threat - but even in these steely bodies, all four of them were afraid.
"See ya later, suckers!" Pokey shouted as his spider mech time-shifted. They were alone, but not helpless. Three of the kids possessed powerful psychic abilities stolen from aliens, while the other was a Genius-class scientist and mechanic.
The dimension before them briefly solidified, and they saw the face of their enemy - a horrible red maw that would swallow up everything they fought for. They couldn't stop here. They had to defeat Giygas once and for all.
They unleashed their powers upon Giygas; pure psychic energy, manifesting as bolts of lightning, meteorites and geometric shapes. But they couldn't hope to affect a being of this scale; their attacks were but a drop in the ocean of power.
"NESS! NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS NESS" Tortured screaming filled their brains as they were assaulted on all sides by warped energy. Only their layers of shields protected them from utter madness.
"Please..." one of the robots, formerly named Paula, cried out. "Please! If anyone's there, please... we need help..." Her psychic-powered plea reached out through the void, back to their home; the many friends they had made throughout their journey felt the plea of those four kids who had helped them, and they all fervently prayed for them.
Prayers were anathema to this new being, and the dimension of pain known once as Giygas reeled. Its cries became more powerful, its attacks became more erratic, and it was all they could do to stand, much less fight back.
But Paula's prayer touched more than the people on their home planet. Two beings appeared before them - one was a humanoid figure seemingly made of shadows, while the other was a pale-skinned young woman.
"Isabella Swan." the shadowed man announced to all present. "You have been found guilty of being bland, sociopathic, and the worst charge of all - being a bad role model." The shadowed man, known as Sponby, presented the woman to Giygas. "There will be no redemption. There is no life or death for you. No, the only suitable sentence for you is... rebirth."
Sponby threw Bella into the chaos. An anguished cry escaped, but it was quickly silenced by the static-like sounds of the dimension folding in upon itself. Sponby pushed the four robots back as Giygas collapsed, leaving Bella seemingly unharmed.
"What... what is this?" Bella looked at her body, seemingly in amazement of her hands. "Who am I? Where..."
"You were formerly known as Giygas." Sponby explained. "In an attempt to gain ultimate power, you sacrificed your sanity... but I have returned it. Your new body is but a shell, but it retains two useful features: it has powerful psychic shields that restrain your full power, and it is a personality-less puppet that will not resist your will."
"But... but who are you?" the being, who named itself Geeg, asked.
"A man who seeks your aid. There is a force that seeks my destruction, and I cannot fight it alone: if you aid me in this fight, the body is yours."
Sponby had thought long about who would serve as Giygas' vessel. He would need someone whose natural Sueness was already quite high, but not high enough that it would override Giygas' own personality; and he would need a way to restrain his power so that he would not drive himself to insanity again. Of course, looking at it in hindsight, there was only one logical choice for the position.
"I see. Then I suppose I have no choice but to aid you. But I have business with these children." Geeg reached out to the robots; they felt their psychic power not just drained, but removed utterly from their bodies.
"But you can't do this!" one of the robots, named Poo, said. He drew his sword and pointed it at Sponby and Geeg. "Giygas is a being of pure evil! It cannot be controlled!"
"Fool!" Geeg created a portal, warping all four of them back to their homes. He then proceeded to absorb the rest of the planet's stolen PSI. "Very well. My mission is complete. Let us go."
"Of course." Sponby created a portal, but before they could step into it, BURTON chimed in with an alert.
"I AM DETECTING A MASSIVE BRANE BREACH NEAR THIS UNIVERSE'S JUPITER." BURTON announced. "I AM ALSO DETECTING GREAT MACHINE FORCE VESSELS NEAR IT."
"Alright then! Let's go see what this is about! Er, you don't have to come with me." Sponby created another portal to the Sponby Base, but Geeg declined.
"I wish to see the capabilities of this new body. And if I am to be a soldier, I would rather test them out in a skirmish, rather than all-out war."
"Of course." Sponby and Geeg went to the Exceliator, and they flew off to Jupiter.
MONOPOWAA
"I AM DETECTING A NUMBER OF UNUSUAL ENERGY SOURCES." BURTON said after doing a quick sweep of Jupiter. "BASED ON THE MASSIVE MST FOOTPRINT, ONE OF THE SOURCES SEEMS TO BE A MONOLITH. ANOTHER APPEARS TO BE 'THE POWER'."
"'The Power'? What kind of name is that?" Sponby asked.
"I DO NOT KNOW. ITS PROPERTIES ARE VAGUE, BUT IT APPEARS TO BE ABLE TO GREATLY EMPOWER THOSE WHO ABSORB IT, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE A STRONG DESIRE. THAT IS LIKELY WHY THE GREAT MACHINE FORCE IS ATTEMPTING TO DRAW IT OUT."
"Well, we'll stop that." A number of portals opened, and about a dozen Dragons came out of them. Sponby docked with the lead ship, as they flew around Jupiter and saw a relatively sizable fleet of mostly smaller ships.
As an experiment, BURTON had one of the Dragons fly into Jupiter's atmosphere and absorb some of 'The Power'. A few seconds later, it re-emerged with a healthy orange glow, and its secondary cannons were powered-up to the point that it obliterated the fleet with one shot.
"Holy shit!" Sponby exclaimed.
"I'M DETECTING MORE PORTALS. BASED ON THE SIZES..." BURTON fell silent.
"I can feel them too." Geeg said. "Biotechnomagical monstrosities bigger than a planet. Their very existence is an affront to the universe."
"The Deus Est Machina?" Sponby asked.
"YES. THREE OF THEM."
MACHINE GODS
"Shit! Well, absorb as much of that Power as you can! We can't let it fall into their hands!" Sponby said. The entire fleet dipped into the atmosphere of Jupiter, but even the mighty Dragons had a limit on the power they could absorb. Even still, subtracting the power they absorbed from Jupiter still left over 99.8% of the total reserve of The Power.
The first Deus Est Machina emerged.
"FIRE!" Sponby ordered. All of the ships fired their main guns, dealing massive damage to the Deus Est Machina... which it regenerated immediately.
"Sponby!" The cold, mechanical voice of Rossum the Machine-King echoed in the bridge. "Thank you for demonstrating the usefulness of The Power to me! I do believe I shall help myself to some of it."
The Deus Est Machina fired off its main guns: about twenty thousand beams of energy, all of which added up to more energy than 3 Milky Way galaxies. Naturally, eight of the Dragons were eliminated in one shot, with the other five badly damaged simply by the proximity.
"THAT ATTACK..." BURTON was scared. "IT DID NOT USE THE POWER FOR THAT ATTACK."
"...I see." Sponby said.
"I have an idea." Geeg tapped into The Power, and used his greatly-enhanced psychic abilities to physically crush the Deus Est Machina. It struggled against the psychic barrier crushing it, but Geeg held on valiantly for as long as he could until he collapsed from fatigue.
"Sorry, bud." Sponby said. "Okay, we have five ships left, right? Initiate Protocol 38-Di. Initiate Final Fusion."
The remaining Dragons all fused together, creating a giant humanoid figure that Sponby dubbed the Dragonlordmore.
"And now let's see what this thing can do. SUMMON TECHNIQUE LEVEL 8: DRAGON AVATAR! EXA FLARE!" The Dragonlordmore drew from The Power and transformed into a dragon, firing a beam of energy more than double the power of the Deus Est Machina's main guns. The Deus Est Machina was reduced to scrap metal.
But two more appeared in its place.
"Okay Sponby, now you're pissing me off." Rossum said. BOth Deus Est Machinas prepared their main guns.
"I WOULD SUGGEST A TACTICAL RETREAT." BURTON said.
"...no." Sponby said. "We still have a chance. Flee into the core of Jupiter."
"THE DRAGONLORDMORE CANNOT HANDLE ABSORBING THE ENTIRETY OF THE POWER."
"I know. But... maybe I can."
BURST
As they dove into Jupiter's atmosphere, Sponby leapt from the Dragonlordmore and descended into the core. The gravity compressed his body, but he was more than powerful enough to withstand the pressure, but... but could he really do this?
"I don't really have a choice." Sponby said. If they warped back to the Sponby Base now, they would find out its location - and if he warped anywhere else, well... he'd have to go back eventually. Or die.
But Sponby had no plans to die. He wasn't even sure if he could truly die anymore. But if he couldn't, what would happen if he absorbed too much? Would he simply be destroyed by his Akasha bursting? Or would he survive that too?
Sponby extended his shadow tendrils out, absorbing vast quantities of The Power into himself. His Akasha was quickly filled up, but he just kept going.
Finally, he hit the core of Jupiter. He started to absorb it, but rather than tendrils, he created a spherical shadow aura that engulfed everything. He was beyond the breaking point, but still he kept going...
The Dragonlordmore was in danger. Sponby warped it away somewhere. He wasn't sure where, but the Deus Est Machinas could probably track it, but they wouldn't bother right now. No, they'd focus on him for now.
Beams of energy struck his shadow aura, but they too were absorbed. He didn't even care anymore. His body had been inflated to several times its normal size, like a balloon.
And like all ballons, he burst.
BEYOND THE INFINITE
Jupiter, The Power and the Deus Est Machinas were all absorbed into the black hole created by the rupture of Sponby's Akasha.
But it wasn't a celestial black hole. No, it was a literal hole in space. Where did it lead? Rossum the Machine-King, controlling the Deus Est Machinas from his cozy room in the middle of the Heart of Machines, didn't know. He lost his connection as soon as they passed the event horizon.
"Damn it!" No normal black hole would stop one of his ships. Rossum sent in a fleet of Leviahamuts, the newest model of Super Exadian-class ships, but they too were absorbed. His monitors showed the entire solar system being absorbed into the hole.
He received a transmission from one of his Captains.
"Sir, we're detecting... something in Brane 3839409182923999301297728291!"
"Yes, I know. It's off-limits for now."
"Yes sir!"
But then Rossum realized something even more horrifying.
The hole was moving. Right toward him.