A/N: Enjoy people!
Chapter 5:
Just a Little More Poison
He felt a bit of nervousness claw its way into his heart as he opened the door to the apartment, trying to make as little noise as possible. He froze when it creaked loudly, then sighed thankfully when nothing stirred. His eyes darted around the dark room anxiously as he crept along, successfully reaching his room without making any sort of noise. Once inside, he turned the lock, leaning against the door for a while to catch his breath as his heart beat frantically against his chest.
It had been almost two months now since he had first met up with Ryouh. He had hoped he'd be lectured when he went back to the apartment the next evening, but wasn't really surprised when the ninja had gruffly told him to get changed since they were due for another Chess match. He wasn't even sure what had made him fool himself into thinking they'd have cared. He found himself seeking out the red-head after the match once again when their frigid looks became a bit too much for him to handle. His new friend had handed him what he had been looking for without any demands for explanations. A couple of weeks later, he'd introduced him to something new. Something much more efficient than the cigarettes, something that worked much faster. What was even better was that it did not make him smell of smoke, the one thing that his red-eyed traveling companion had noticed four nights after he had met Ryouh. The man had not voiced his thoughts, but then again… Syaoran should have known better than to expect for him to have cared even a little.
After all, he was nothing more than a replacement of his student.
He was just an imposter.
Sliding to the ground, with his back leaning against the wooden panel, he dug around in his jacket with shaky hands. He pulled a small plastic bag filled with a white-ish sort of powder, staring at it contemplatively for a while. A distant part of his mind wondered why he was doing it, but as memories of his time with his so-called companions rushed into his head, he emitted a low growl.
He needed the escape, a way to forget it all, if only for a little while.
They certainly didn't care about what he did, so it didn't really matter, did it now? After all, they had had more than enough time to show that.
Digging through his rather baggy clothes once again, he pulled out a bottle of water, a lighter and a syringe. His hands shook rather badly, but thankfully he managed not to spill anything as he prepared the shot. He had been doing this for quite some time now so it didn't require quite a lot of effort on his part.
Tying one of the numerous belts adorning his clothes around his bicep, he tightened it with his teeth before proceeding to fill the syringe with the clear liquid. Gritting his teeth as the whispering voices returned, he plunged it into his flesh.
"I'll be fine." Her soft voice rang inside his head.
"Kid, we're leaving in half an hour. Go get changed." He had not even bothered to ask where he had been the whole night.
He needed to forget about them. For a while, he just wanted to forget. But it seemed like the shot was taking too long to work. Growling in irritation once more, he prepared another shot, plunging it in like the first, heaving a raspy sigh as his throat itched slightly. He coughed once, resting his head against the door as he felt the liquid work its magic.
Grinning like an idiot, he slid his eyes closed, feeling a sensation of happiness envelop his entire being. The memories, the voices, the whispers, their cold-eyed accusing stares, they all went away. As they dissolved into a haze of smoke, he gave a soft laugh. This was the freedom he craved for. This was the freedom he wanted. This was exactly what he had been looking for.