A/N: Very quick note to anyone who wants to take part in Jibbsfest - something's hinky with the forum so I've posted the prompts on my LJ (link on my Author's page) and I'll post on the forum when I can.
Jan 18
I do not want to die... until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.
Kathe Kollwitz, O Magazine, September 2002
Leroy Jethro Gibbs stared into the face of danger far more than the average person. Some might say he was used to it. But none knew the thoughts running through his head as the barrel of a gun pressed into his temple.
He knew the drug dealer was utterly capable of pulling the trigger; he had already murdered his business rival and then had shot his own brother, his partner in crime, in front of Gibbs less than five minutes ago. The brother's brains were splattered all over the wall, the floor and a few splodges on Gibbs' jacket. The agent was patiently waiting for his team to realize where he was and come to his rescue. All he had to do was stall for time.
Except he wasn't sure if he wanted to.
To die would mean seeing Shannon and Kelly again. Every day without them broke his heart and some days their absence, the ache in his heart, was unbearable. To leave this world behind, with all its pain and darkness, would not take much. The twitch of a finger on a trigger. Mis-timing when to step out of the path of a speeding car. Taking a bullet meant for someone else.
But he could not die yet, not when his team still had things to learn. Leaving DiNozzo in charge during his 'retirement' had been a mistake; his team had struggled and he himself had not been able to settle his mind. Every day he judged whether they were ready or not.
Perhaps it was more than that. Perhaps he did not think his team were prepared because he lived for them, knowing it was only temporary when he would be reunited with his family forever.
He stared the drug dealer in the eye, unafraid. Whatever happened now was out of his control.