A/N With the Doctor's help, Rose is ready to begin the process of trying to regain her memories. And of course, there's the inevitable sexual tension between them right from the start. They are the Doctor and Rose, after all. ;)

Chapter 18

Two days had passed since Rose had woken to find she had suffered a neural injury causing partial memory loss. As the third began, Rose was quickly growing tired of being treated like an invalid. Her mum hovered over her every waking moment, and the doctor...well... Then again, Rose found she didn't mind all the attention from him, actually.

She did wonder why a doctor such as himself seemed to have so much time to devote solely to her. Not that she was complaining, mind. It had not escaped her notice that this man was not only infinitely gentle and caring, but also incredibly gorgeous. Rose wasn't blind, after all. She might be recovering from injury, but her mental faculties were functioning quite well enough to know that much at least.

She was not developing a crush on her doctor, though, Rose had told herself quite firmly. The very idea was just ridiculously predictable under the circumstances, considering he was devoting some much of his time to her, and the aside fact that he was gorgeous. But it couldn't possibly lead anywhere. He was a professional and she was his patient. Nothing more.

That didn't stop her from stealing a few appreciative glances or having one or two very pleasant daydreams creeping into her head, though.

Even though Rose had begun feeling much better, she'd had a few bouts of nausea. When she wasn't nauseous, she seemed to have a voracious appetite. For some odd reason she found herself craving bananas more than anything else. She couldn't get enough of them. Head injuries were strange things, indeed. Her mum and the doctor didn't seem overly concerned, although the looks she'd seen them exchange on more than one occasion made her feel like maybe there was more than they were saying. But the doctor assured Rose that her symptoms were normal for her condition, so she didn't concern herself over it too much. She was sure it would pass soon.

As Rose's mind began to clear a little more from her initial, muddled state, she was becoming more and more aware of subtle changes about herself. Outwardly, her features seemed a little more mature and her figure a little more defined; but it wasn't just subtle physical changes she had noticed. Though her memories told her she was, Rose just didn't feel like she was eighteen. That in itself was complex, though, because she wasn't exactly sure how she was even supposed to feel. Rose had also noted a few changes around the flat (on the occasion when her mum and the doctor had actually allowed her to get out of bed). Nothing major. Just little things. There was the odd piece of furniture arranged a little differently or knickknacks here and there Rose didn't remember. It just made her all the more frustrated about the other things she wasn't remembering.

There was also one more oddity Rose found herself puzzling over. Around her neck hung a silver key on a simple chain. She'd had it on when she first woke up to all of this, and it wasn't something Rose ever remembered having. Rose didn't know why she would wear a key around her neck or what door it even opened, but for some unexplainable reason she didn't want to take it off, either. The weight of it around her neck and the smooth metal resting upon her chest felt strangely comforting. She hadn't asked anyone about it; just kept it on – kept it close.

The doctor had come by first thing that morning to check on her, as had been the routine for the past two days. Rose wondered if he lived or practiced nearby. There were so many things about him she found herself beginning to wonder. He was certainly an intriguing man. He also seemed a little on the unconventional side as far as doctors go. His demeanor wasn't that of clinical, professional detachment – taking her temperature, taking her pulse, instructing her to stick out her tongue and say 'Ah' then bustling off. No, he would spend time just simply talking to her, and he had a penchant for nattering on about completely random things. Even if she hadn't felt up to doing much talking herself, it felt good just listening to him, and he had a way of being able to make her smile. He wasn't your stereotypical doctor, to be sure.

Jackie had left that same morning shortly after he had arrived to go do some marketing (and phone Pete on Rose's progress), and the doctor told Rose he would be staying with her while Jackie was out. And so as this third day of convalescing began, Rose had come to a decision. Her life might be mixed up at the moment, but one thing was clear: she was ready to begin moving forward and making progress. She wanted back whatever memories she was missing and the life that went with them.

This would be Rose's first full day out of bed, and now was her chance to get down to business. The doctor had told her that he would help her try to regain her memories when she had recovered enough to do so. She wasn't sure how he would go about doing that, but whatever it entailed, she was ready to start.

Just simply being out of bed and dressed in something other than pajamas made Rose feel much better that morning. After leaving her room, she stopped off in the kitchen for a snack, then walked to the living room, peeling the banana she'd retrieved on the trip.

The Doctor had been secretly amused by her particular craving. She was undeniably carrying his child.

He had been waiting for her as she got dressed, and he'd caught himself just short of asking if she'd needed help with the task. He could have justified it by saying he was a doctor, a professional; but that emotionless pretense would have gone out the window if he'd been in that situation with her. He didn't trust his wandering eyes beholding the woman he adored not to betray him, even if his only intention was to help her. No, best leave that particular task for Rose to manage on her own. She was well enough to handle that much at least.

As Rose emerged and made her way towards him in the living room, he found he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was wearing a pair of light blue sweatpants and a white T-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and not a trace of makeup was on her face. He had never seen her look more gorgeous. It sounded ridiculously trite to say she was glowing, but he couldn't think of any other description for her luminous state. She was carrying his child, and the Doctor had never adored her more than he did right in this moment.

Rose sat down beside him on the couch, and when she glanced over at him, the look in his eyes as he gazed back at her made Rose stop mid-bite.

"What?" she questioned, looking a little puzzled as she lowered the banana.

The Doctor's eyes danced away. "Nothing. Just...glad you're feeling well this morning."

"I am," she confirmed with a smile. Not only was she feeling well and ready to begin working on restoring her memories, she was also ready to learn a little more about this man who over the past two days had seemed so single-mindedly focused on her well-being. "And now that I'm feeling better, I'm ready to start learning some things." The Doctor turned fully towards her with the look of a professional ready to begin working. "Let's start with you."

That threw him off. "Me?"

"You." Rose finished off the banana and put her empty peeling down on the coffee table.

"What do you want to know about me?" he asked, hesitant.

Everything, Rose thought to herself. The Doctor absently ran a hand through his tousled, dark brown hair, and Rose was momentarily distracted by the gesture, feeling the strangest sensation, almost a sense of déjà vu. Was it the gesture, or his really great hair that had distracted her? Rose was almost startled to find her mind suddenly drifting to thoughts of running her fingers through it, tugging gently and...

Rose shook herself out of that particular daydream and forced her eyes to detach themselves from his sexy hair. She redirected her thoughts back to the questions she had for him. She cleared her throat. "Well, for starters, I've realized I don't even know your full name. I mean, ever since I first woke up Mum's just been calling you 'The Doctor,' so I s'pose that's how I've come to think of you. But...doctor who? What's your proper name?"

The Doctor once again had to fight down his own feelings of pain as her simple question stabbed his hearts. Rose was the one person in all the universe who knew his true name. The one person with whom he had shared that part of himself. Now, that was forgotten to her, along with the memory of the sacred night he had shared it with her, sharing his soul.

"It's..." He hesitated. The only suitable name that came to mind was the human pseudonym he often used. "Smith. John Smith. You can call me John, if you'd like." His words came out sounding as dull as the name he professed.

Rose pondered over that for a minute, her brow furrowed. "That doesn't...seem like you." She looked back at him and clarified. "I mean, that's such a common name and you're certainly not a common man," she absently let slip. Rose paused and rephrased that remark. "That is...you're a doctor, and it takes a special person to be a doctor, yeah?" She tilted her head in contemplation. "I dunno, I suppose I'd just gotten used to thinking of you as 'The Doctor.'"

Rose noticed how his eyes seemed to light up. "You can just keep calling me Doctor, if you'd like. Most people do anyway."

She thought about it. "Yeah," Rose smiled. "For some reason it doesn't just feel like a title for you. It fits. Doctor it is."

He slowly grinned, and Rose felt the pace of her heartbeat quicken. This man had a way of smiling that when directed at her, it made her breath catch. It might be an inappropriate response for a doctor/patient relationship, but when he smiled at her in that certain way, Rose found it was difficult to care about propriety.

Rose focused her somewhat inappropriate thoughts back to her more innocent questions. "Okay, Doctor, so on to my next question." She gave him a brief up and down glance, a slight smirk curving her lips. "Do you ever wear anything else? For the past few days all I've seen you in is the same brown suit paired with...trainers." She pursed her lips as she pondered it further. "The shirt and tie have changed, though."

The Doctor glanced down at himself. "Don't you like the suit?" he asked with nonchalance. He happened to know Rose loved him in this suit.

"Oh, I do! It seems very...you."

"Well, to answer your question, I do have a blue one as well."

"Really?" she replied, sounding exaggeratedly impressed as she grinned teasingly. "You have two suits?"

"I find two to be a perfectly adequate, non-superfluous number," he replied in a serious tone, straightening his tie. He then slowly cut his eyes back over to hers. "Although, I have been known to wear a pair of jeans on occasion." His mind went back to a particular time he'd done just that and driven Rose to complete distraction.

Although Rose didn't have that specific memory, it didn't keep her mind from visualizing it and her cheeks to subsequently flush at the pleasurable image her imagination created. Or maybe it was the way he looked at her when he said it, and the almost...seductive tone in which he spoke, which Rose had to tell herself was just her muddled mind playing tricks on her. Surely.

There was yet another question burning in her thoughts, and before she thought it through long enough to stop herself, Rose came out with it. "So, what about...your family? Do you have...I mean...are you...?" Rose trailed off and mentally kicked herself for being so forward. "'M sorry. That was a bit personal," she hastily added with a chuckle of embarrassment.

"No, it's fine," the Doctor assured her tenderly. "It's only natural for you to want to know about me since I'll be helping you learn about yourself. Fair is fair, after all."

The Doctor just wasn't sure how to answer the question. If Rose wasn't able to remember on her own, she would eventually have to be told everything about the two of them once she was well enough for that. He didn't want to tell her he had someone else in his life and have Rose misinterpreting that about him from the start. But how could he look at her and tell her there was no one else? Then he realized – that was the truth of it. When he looked at Rose he could honestly say there wasn't anyone else, only her.

His penetrating eyes looking into hers made Rose momentarily lose herself in their depths. "There is no one else in my life, Rose. So that means patients like you get my full attention." He smiled slowly. "So, anything else you'd like to know about me, Rose Tyler?"

Rose felt heat rise to her cheeks and travel up to the tips of her ears simply from the way he spoke her name. Did she imagine his tone dropping a note or two lower? Oh, she had to stop this and get a hold of herself. Rose forced her mind back to her list of questions.

She bit her lip. There had been one more question niggling at her. "Why are you always here, spending so much time with just me?" Rose saw his face drop as he sought to answer. "Not that I mind you being here," she quickly added, not wanting to give the wrong impression. "I love it when you're here with me." Oh, subtle, Rose, she chided herself. That wasn't the blatant impression she wanted to give, either. "That is to say...I really enjoy...or rather..." She was digging herself into a hole. Rose cleared her throat. "What I mean is, don't you have other patients to see, too?"

The Doctor had begun to conceal a grin as she'd tripped over her words of admitting how she loved him being with her, but now it was his turn to slightly stammer as he came up with a reply. "Well, you're...you're a special case. And...I've taken you on as my sole patient for now."

Rose shook her head. "What's so special about me?"

Oh, Rose. Everything. "I...I believe I have a technique I can use that might help to regain your memories. Yours is the exact condition I need in order to put it into practice."

"So I'd be a...test case?" she asked dully.

"It's not a first-time trial. I've used the technique before," he assured her. "But it's something not many others are familiar with yet. It's a very new advancement in the field, and having someone such as yourself upon whom I can utilize the technique for further practice is...helpful." The Doctor scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, second-guessing the plausibility of his own explanation.

Rose felt a stab of disappointment. She wished she'd just let him leave it at saying she was a special patient to him. Now she just felt like an...experiment. Well, that explained his sole focus on her, anyway.

The Doctor could discern her feelings written on her face. He didn't want Rose to ever question her importance, to him or to anyone. "Rose, you're not just a special case because of your condition. I see you as a very special person, too. I think you're brilliant, actually."

Rose wasn't quite sure how to even respond. One thing she was sure of was this unmistakable feeling when she looked in his eyes that there was just something...more about him. It was both unsettling and exhilarating. Unsettling because it was so exhilarating.

But Rose had to put aside this developing infatuation, which she had already told herself could never lead anywhere anyway. She wasn't exactly in the condition to be swooning over her doctor. Rose had her life to try and put back in order. Now that she'd learned a few things about him, Rose now needed to know a few things about herself. She had not asked this question yet because she almost feared the answer, and her mum and the Doctor had done their best to avoid too many details, but she had to know.

Taking a breath, Rose brought her eyes to his. "Doctor, how much time am I missing? I know you and Mum have been trying to shelter me, but I need to know."

The Doctor knew Rose would have to begin learning these things gradually, and this was the first step – hard as the answer might be. He replied with gentle caution, gauging her reaction within her eyes. "The memories you're missing are just over four years."

Rose felt her heart drop. She knew she was missing a part of her memories, but she didn't expect it to be such a large chunk of her life.

"Over four years," she repeated in a murmur as the heavy revelation sank in.

The Doctor's voice drew her attention back to him as he sought to give her reassurance. "I've been made aware of the details of your life during that time." And experienced it with you, he wished he could add. "When you're ready, I can begin working with you to try to recover that missing time."

Rose nodded numbly. Once she had taken a minute to re-gather her thoughts, she turned herself fully towards him. She felt a certain vulnerability asking a virtual stranger about her own life, yet at the same time she had trust in him. "Tell me about...myself. Have I still been living with Mum up 'till now? Where've I been working? And what about...Mickey? He's not just traveling, is he?" she questioned, going with the intuition she sensed. "Does he even still live around here?"

The Doctor pondered her questions, trying to decide on the best way to respond. "You still live here with your mum – when you're in town. You've done a bit of traveling lately, though. As for a job, the last place you were working was Henrik's." Rose felt a flash of disappointment. Still a shop girl, then. But still, it was an honest job and nothing to be ashamed of. "And you're right about Mickey," the Doctor continued. "He moved away a little less than two years ago and the two of you...lost touch." Sadness crossed over her features. "But I understand you both parted on good terms, as friends."

Rose had never really thought too far ahead into the future with Mickey. He had always just been there, and maybe in a lot of ways she'd taken that for granted. She only hoped he was now living the life he wanted and was truly happy. She wanted nothing less for him. With Mickey apparently gone, Rose briefly wondered if there was anyone else in her life, but since she had not woken up with a concerned lover by her side then apparently not. And she was not going to ask the Doctor if he knew the current details of her love life.

Rose folded her legs up beneath her on the couch, drawing in a deep breath. "S'just so frustrating not being able to remember any of that." She looked back up at him, a spark of hope briefly flickering in her eyes. "But you do think you'll be able to help me get those memories back?"

"I'll do everything I can, Rose," he replied reassuringly.

"How, exactly? You said you have this...technique that not all doctors are familiar with. So what exactly is it, then?" she queried.

The Doctor paused, and watched her carefully to measure her reaction. "It involves the use of telepathy."

Rose's eyes got a bit rounder. "What? Telepathy – you...you're really serious? Like some sort of...Vulcan mind-meld...thingy? How...how is that even possible?"

"Well, it's a bit...complicated. As I said, it's a very new advance in the field of neuro-medicine. I know it probably sounds mythological, but there's nothing to be frightened of." The Doctor straightened his posture and went off on a technical ramble, his gesturing hands aiding his explanation. "In scientific terms, it involves quantum mechanics. You see, the mind is a unit of electrical and quantum impulses. Considering that fact, it's possible for those impulse fluctuations to be received by another if that receiving person possesses the knowledge and capabilities to do so, which I do," he finished with a casual shrug.

Rose gaped at him, suddenly feeling like her thoughts were being broadcast in high-definition. She knew there was something different about this man! Was he...reading her thoughts this very minute? Rose chewed her lip as her eyes flicked up to his, then quickly skittered away.

"So you...you can read my mind?" Her voice rose a pitch and quavered with nervousness. Rose mentally began recapping the thoughts she'd had just since coming into the room with him. Had she been thinking of anything she wouldn't want him to see? Anything...inappropriate or otherwise embarrassing?

Oh, she was doomed! And now those thoughts were all she could think. It never failed that when you tried to put a thought out of your mind that became the only thing you could think about. Rose chanced a quick glance in his direction, which did nothing to help clear her mind of those inappropriate thoughts as his gorgeous, deep brown eyes gazed entrancingly back at her. Rose licked her lips and quickly broke eye contact. There was a single thought in her mind when she looked at him, and if he was perceiving her thoughts then the words 'Dead Sexy' might as well be flashing in the space between them like a neon sign.

Rose blushed scarlet and sank a little deeper into the cushions of the couch.