Chapter 3- the girl in the hat

'You're not leaving me here.' he lowered his voice. I growled looking at his chest.

'Don't worry; I'm sure you could just call up Miss Fern to give you a lift.' his hand slipped from the door.

'Did she say something to you?' his voice was still low. I rested against the door for a moment. He looked so...mad, eyes darkened, staring down at me. His shoulders hunched over as his breath turned to pants. 'Did she talk to you?'

'She just told me not to mention anything I've over heard. I'm not sure I heard anything really so you don't have to worry.' I calmed my voice resting a hand on his chest pushing him back a bit. 'You don't need to get stressed out. I'm not trying to bring up some drama, ok?' he still looked like he wanted to hit something. 'TJ?'

'If she speaks to you I want to know it?' I smiled folding my arms.

'Why? Because we're such good friends? Because you feel like you should help if I'm being picked on? We haven't seen each other in seven to eight years.' he still looked angry. 'Just get in the truck I'll take you home.' I turned to open the door but his hand was holding the door shut again. I looked back at him. 'What now?'

'Can't go home like this.' he turned away walking round to the peer. 'I need to calm down.' I sighed watching him pace round. I went to the back of my truck getting out two let pipes.

'You want to hit something?' he looked up at me standing in the truck.

'What?' he frowned watching me jump down throwing a pipe at him. He caught it but still looked confused.

'Well I don't have my boxing gloves or my fencing swords or anything like that but I firmly believe in carrying round something in the back in case of the worst.' I explained. 'Since I don't know what training you might have I'll go easy on you.' I held up the pipe to him. 'Come on.' he didn't move. I grinned slipping off my shirt throwing it in the truck. 'Well I've wanted to hit you all day so...' I ran at him swinging for his head. He stumbled back grabbing his pipe swinging back. 'Good, a start.' I grinned swinging again. This time he blocked with his pipe.

'WHAT THE HELL? YOU AIMED FOR MY HEAD!' he argued back getting his balance back. I smiled tensing again.

'Well it's just so big I felt it would be a shame not to at least try and smack it open like a piñata.' I came at him again. 'Come on, I know you have some muscle under that shirt of yours. Show me what you've got.' he stared at me only for a moment before nodding. Now he was attacking.

I didn't understand how TJ got to be so strong, I mean he didn't have any form or training, he moves were clumsy at times, and he certainly wasn't graceful. It might have just been the anger but with every blow he was pushing me back with sheer power. I let him attack, I could see the built up stress and anger fly from him. After a while he stopped and threw himself on the ground panting.

'I know why...you fight so much now...that felt...awesome.' he grinned up at me as I stud next to him.

'I don't fight anymore. I've grown up you know...just a little but I've grown up too.' I took his pipe throwing his and mine both into my truck. 'But it does work.' I lay down beside him feeling the damp grass between my fingers. 'And it's not like I could leave you that angry, you could have kill someone.' he snorted at me.

'So you give me a weapon?' I shrugged grinning. He was looking across at me beaming. 'Is this what you've been doing all this time?'

'What? Fighting with strangers with pipes? no.' I looked back up to the grey sky. It looked like it was beginning to rain. 'but I have been training. Quite a lot really.' I closed my mouth staring up at the clouds.

'You couldn't have just been training, there has to be more.' I closed my eyes letting his voice sink in, it felt so good to hear him again. I missed him, I really did.

'Spinelli?' I opened my eyes; TJ was almost leaning over me. 'You ok?'

'Yhea.' I muttered sitting up. 'Guess I just missed this life. There's really no reason for me to carry round pipes here. There's no reason for me to worry or be all jumpy. It's...strange.' I jumped to my feet looking down at him. 'Well I think I'll go home. If you want a lift you better get in that passengers seat.' he nodded getting up. I finally get to sit in my truck and drive away from the lake.

TJ lived on the same road as me; it was easy to kick him out on my way home.

'I'm still pissed at you.' I called out the window at him. He looked back at me grinning.

'Well you know where to find me if you want to come teach me a lesson.' I held up my middle finger at him.

'You keep dreaming Jasper.' I drove off before he could say another word. I was still mad at him. He allowed the gang to completely fall apart and he was still such a jerk- no one has the right to act like that. He almost trashed my sketch book! He insulted everyone and then starts getting pissy about a teacher. That would be our last friendly encounter, it was all for what we used to be. Now we really were strangers. There was no point portending otherwise. The gang had moved on but I couldn't help shake the feeling that it wasn't right.

I had moved back into my old house, no one had lived there since me and my folks left. So just like everything else it had grown cold and dark. There was nothing but the boxes we moving in with around us. But I was used to this now, just living from boxes and not caring.

'Good day at school honey?' Dad was already home tooking into a large sandwich. I groaned sitting down next to him watching the TV, wrestling as usual. 'I bet you could take all of these guys now.'

'Yhea.' I muttered bringing my sketch book out from my bag. I traced my fingers round the picture of the old gang. I had forgotten them; I didn't want to get back together with them.

'You look a little glum sweety.' Dad sounded concerned now. 'Did you kids at school bully you?' I smiled, these were always the questions. Was everyone nice? Did you eat enough? Have you got any home work? Good old parent talk which never changed.

'No, it was nothing like that.' I sighed staring at the front cover of my book. 'Everything's just like every other school...' but it wasn't. I stopped talking. It wasn't like every other school I went to. This one had the only group of miserable kids I ever cared about. This school had my best friend and my first kiss. This one held memories even when I had never been there before. I would have loved to stick around instead of moving off to one state to the next but I couldn't control that. I couldn't control my parents- they were kinda crazy and...I guess the right word would be spontaneous. There was no stopping my moving away then. If I didn't move I'd have fought tooth and nail to keep those guys. They're the gang, my gang...

'Hey Dad?' I looked up at him. There was a stray bit of sandwich hanging from his moustache. 'We're not planning moving again, are we?' he frowned turning down the volume on the TV.

'No, we're not going to move again. We weren't planning on coming back to this place but now we here...let's just say we can't move anymore. This is our home. This is where we belong.' I nodded picking up my bag. 'Was that what you wanted to hear?' He called back to me as I made my way up to my room. I knew what I had to do now.

My room was small- the same old room I had grown up in but now there was only a mattress on the floor where I slept and everything I had ever owned was in a few boxes in the corner of the room. I dropped my school bag on the floor and rested my sketch book on the floor before attacking the boxes. I started with all my work out equipment. The punching bag was now hanging up opposite the window and the gloves were on the bed side table I had dragged up from the basement. Dad looked up at me a little concerned as I moved from the basement to my room carrying pieces of wardrobe and desk and even draws just so I could reassemble them in my room. As I mentioned no one had lived here since I left so everything we left behind was still here unharmed and untouched. Soon my room looked more like a teenager's room. A desk and wardrobe and bedside table all ready to be filled. All my weights, swords, weapons were hung up in the room or placed round the walls. The desk was now the home of all the books I had collected from many different school and the few pictures I still had. A few school pictures from everywhere and more importantly the old picture of many summer ago. The wardrobe wasn't as full. I didn't have many clothes. A few marshal art uniforms and many ballet costumes I've been forced into for a performance or recital. But now all that girlie stuff was going to pull off. Now I was really going to start my plans.

I rushed down stairs finding Mom in the kitchen staring down into a magazine. He looked up as I entered.

'Where's your sowing kit?' I asked leaning casually against the door. I knew what followed this sentence. I knew it was what she always dreamed of hearing. I saw her eyes widen and her mouth open wide in delight.

'Why Ashley darling!' she straightened up running at me to embrace me tightly. 'You're finally becoming a woman! Sowing? Why? Are you interested in starting a fashion trend-I could help!' I was crushed in her arms as she ranted to herself.

'no.' I chocked pulling her arms down from my neck. 'I'm just doing a project...an experiment-kinda.' she let go looking me up and down. He tensed her lips looking around.

'I see. But if you're trying to make another wrestling costume I'll ban all TV in the house.' Dad poked his face round the door. 'All TV.' she said again

'Ash...you better not be making another wrestling costume.' he said just as firmly. Mom went through the door to return with her sewing kit.

'Don't worry. This is strangely enough something a normal teenage girl might actually end up doing.' the couple looked at each other sharing the same concerning look

'Should we be worried?' they both said. I glared at them taking the kit and heading out the door.

'I CAN BE NORMAL!' I called before slamming the door to my room shut. This was there I'd get to work.

While I was in the basement I gathered many old dresses I had once been forced into and a few of my older brother Joeys clothes he left. Leathers mostly but some large shirts. Right here and now on my bedroom floor I was going to re-invent the meaning of hand-me-down.

Hours of screaming in frustration and pain from having stabbed myself god know how many times I was only half way through my creation. My fingers were raw and stinging tears of anger were forming in my eyes. Sowing was a curse, a painful task that should be banned. There was a knock at my door.

'Ashley...is you ok?'

'Yes!' I replied dropping my project and throwing open the door. 'I need a snake.' I growled before turning back on my room to glare at the new occupants. Dad was the concerned parent this time watching me move down the stairs.

'What are you doing?' he followed me.

'Making amends for the time passed.' I ran into the kitchen throwing open the fridge. I grabbed a jar of peanut butter and started digging into it. Dad just looked at me still showing all the signs of worry.

'You sound like you're trying to kill someone up there.' he folded his arms watching me attack the jar.

'Not this time.' I grinning putting the jar back in the fridge and washed my hands at the sink. I took a deep breath rubbing my hands on my skirt. 'Wish me luck.' I growled before charging back up the stairs. Back into the ring for round two.

I spent the night working hard, sowing, cutting, mixing makeup and then finally calling in my mother.

'Are you sure? This took such a long time to grow.' Mom stood in front of me brushing my long hair. It did take a long time to grow my hair, it was all touching the top of my waist when let down but I hadn't cut it for about nine years.

'I'm not going to cut it all off...but it needs some style, it looks too neat.' I turned to face the bathroom mirror holding the scissors out to her. 'I think I need a fringe, a long one and maybe layers...you know to make it look a little messy.' I ran my fingers through my hair- it had been untouched too...but it was all time for that to change too. Mum nodded grabbing the scissors.

'Leave it to me.' she held my hair and got to work. After a while of keeping my eyes closed tightly I looked. She actually knew how to do this kinda thing. No length had been taken from my hair, it was still long but now it felt lighter, it flared out and parts stuck up. For once my hair was styled. I honestly hadn't felt so pampered since I entered that beauty contest as a kid. But honestly I had never had time to get my hair styled- I was always moving round and so never went to the hair dresser. The most different part of his cut was the fringe, a long fringe that more or less covered half of my face. But I didn't care, this looked more like me, the old me.

'Thanks.' I grinned back at Mom who still looked kinda confused. I grabbed the scissors and ran out. Round three was over.

'What are you doing now?' Mom called back to me. I didn't answer- I just headed straight back to my room.

By the end of it all I was truly exhorted. I had been working none stop since I had returned home. I shivered on my mattress hugging the many materials I had gathered round me. I should have not stayed out in the cold with TJ, that was stupid. So stupid I could hit myself. I put my hand over my head feeling the fever.

'No, not now.' I hissed. I wouldn't let this mess with my plans. I had worked so hard now and it was decided. Even if I was to leave again, even if I wasn't the same person I was back then I was going to force those friends back together. It didn't make sense how people so close were now so far apart. It drove me crazy to think about this. It wasn't right, so I have to fix things. Who else could? I was the last one of the gang that wasn't riddled with hate. Seeing both Mickey and TJ proved that. As long as I didn't come on strong I'd be fine. I just had to lure them out and this was my way of doing it. What better way to bring things back to the way they were than to first turn myself back to the messy, scrappy little girl they all remembered? Sure it was risky but all I could do was to try.

The next morning I woke up early to get my act together. First- the red dress I had worn practically every day. I had grown since I was just a kid so I did need to fix that. With all the material I gathered and even a ballet costume I managed to reincarnate the dress in a way I might just wear it now. I still had to sow it together in the morning just t get it right. A plain red dress, sleeveless just to wear under my old jacket. I loved my jacket; the worn leather was soft and yet still kept so warm. Now the problem came up with the tights, as girl mature they get hips no matter how hard they try to stop it and so my old orange and red strapped tights just didn't fit. So I just had to get socks, long thigh high socks they were orange and red strips but still I felt just a little too girlie doing this. I had put too much effort into this. My old hat lay on the desk waiting to flatten my new hair. Was I still that tough tom boy I was back then? For the first time thoughts of weather I could really pull this off came forward. Would I still act like the old Spinelli? Maybe I could but I wasn't about to start acting so friendly to all those idiots who forgot their own friendship.

I sat in the bathroom putting my hair into long; very lose plats before tying the ends in a red knot. My new lays and fringe stuck out but it made me seem more like my old self- the old, young me that vanished when I moved away.

'They will be friends again.' I growled grabbing the eye liner and rubbing it over my eyes furiously. 'From this point on I dedicate all my school hours on those idiots.' I grabbed my hat fixing it on my head so my fringe stuck out. I slipped on my boots and grabbed up my bag.

'You heading off to school already?' Dad was already eating breakfast when I came down stairs.

'It's nearly nine.' I folded my arms. 'But I could be late if I was to stand around...'

'Go.' he grinned. 'Just eat at lunch. 'I nodded already waking to my car. Yes, I did feel a bit nervous heading down the road but it was exciting- as if I really was a kid again. This was really my first day back at Third Street.

This time when I parked my truck kids were everywhere surrounding the prison. I looked at myself in the mirror checking to see if my hat was visible enough.

'This is it.' I told myself. I nodded grabbing my bag and heading out the truck doors. This was the time I'm going to make. Screw those forgotten years. The time for the gang is now. I walked through the front entrance of the school right into the hallways of the school making sure to walk around enough. to most people I was just another face in school, a new face, but still just another face. But to a certain few I was more. A certain few people who chose to look a little longer as I walked passed were my chosen targets. The first, a very tall and thin girl wearing round glasses with auburn hair tied back very tightly at the back of her head. Then Mickey, standing amongst other people in leathers and dark clothing- he smiled as I passed. the third being a boy heading out of the school gym panting and sweating as he joked with what looked like the entire basketball team. His hair now shaven close to his head but there was no denying that he was another one of my targets. The forth target was standing on his own near the library. a strangely lanky version of the boy I knew but still very pale and awkward looking. I smiled as I passed before bumping into my last target.

'What's this?' TJ was scowling at me gesturing to my dress. I grinning stepping round him.

'The final round. It'll be a tough one.' the bell went and I skipped off to my lesson. third street high had no way of knowing what was about to happen.