A/N: Several to thank for reviews: JaegerjaquezLover101, Shannon Hitsugaya, KauroKato, Thunder Claw03, Alex Spotlight, Rukia's Reflection, ShadowSword524, "elarhy," AssaultGodzilla, and Dark Inu Lover. And thank you to anyone who added this or its author to their lists. Yes, I can finally say I'm back. This is the first of two new chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Bleach characters, manga, anime, movies, etc. They belong by copyright laws to Tite Kubo et al.
Every Teen's Worst Nightmare
Honey, I'm Home?
Standing in front of what used to be his neighbor's house; Ichigo sighed and dropped his duffle bag on the ground so that he could ring the bell. Rukia had come over earlier with her things, the electronic doll left in his sister's care until they knew more about the set up. If nothing had changed since Lurichiyo made it her temporary home, then he was familiar with the house's layout. Knowing Byakuya, he'd redesigned the entire interior to suit his own needs and to make Ichigo's life more difficult.
A young woman about Rukia's age answered the door and by the faint pulse of reiatsu she gave, the daiko knew that she was a maid of the noble's from the Soul Society. Like others that he didn't have daily dealings with, he couldn't put a name to the face. "Kurosaki-san, please come in. Rukia-sama and Kuchiki-sama said that you would be staying with them for the next little while."
"Ah, thank you, ah…" A large hand went to the back of an orange haired covered head in embarrassment. He'd been to the Kuchiki manor enough times to have met this person at least once. She wouldn't have been brought along if she wasn't familiar with both him and Rukia.
"Eriko, sir. I do not believe we've actually been introduced," she excused him. Turning to lead him to his room, the maid smiled to herself. Rukia had told her that he couldn't remember faces and names very well. Privately she thought his embarrassment and confusion were kind of cute.
"Eriko-san. Thanks." Relieved that he hadn't unintelligently insulted someone, Ichigo followed obediently. The layout was pretty much the same although Byakuya had certainly put his own style on the place. Although the décor was the traditional minimalism, in every room there was a picture, painting, or calligraphy writing of cherry blossoms.
Nothing blatant about that, Ichigo thought. It was almost as if the captain had wanted the younger male to have a constant reminder of his presence. As if living with the guy for the next week or two wasn't enough.
"Your room, Kurosaki-san. Please make yourself comfortable. I will tell Rukia-sama you are here."
"I know already, thank you, Eriko-san," the shorter woman said from the other side of the room where a shoji door had been opened. "He leaks reiatsu like a sieve. I'm surprised you haven't fainted."
"Ah, come on. Unlike some other captains, I don't do it intentionally, or because I'm in a bad mood."
"True. So, what do you think? Nii-sama says it is adequate for the time he'll be here. It's much roomier than your house."
"Che. I live next to and above a clinic, remember? I'm surprised he took the house next to mine. He'll no doubt have to put up with frequent visits from the old man." Although it would be a miracle if they could wake up normally, Ichigo wasn't counting on being free of his father's morning "wake up calls." Then again, the doll cried loud enough to have them awake long before his father could interfere.
Rukia watched her partner put away his clothes in the dresser that had been placed into one corner while Eriko took his uniform and quietly excused herself to go iron it. The petite Shinigami was surprised that Yuzu had allowed it out of the house in the wrinkled condition that it was but she supposed Ichigo had snuck it out while the younger twin cooed over Urahara's invention.
"Nii-sama said to go shopping before dinner. We can have Eriko-san watch Raiden while we're gone. Since it is perfectly legal to have a babysitter who is not family, I am taking the opportunity provided by Nii-sama's servants." Rukia walked back into the room that would be the doll's and through another door into her own bedroom. She picked up her purse and the homework paper before returning to find Ichigo spreading out his futon. "What are you doing? It's not time for bed."
Ichigo scowled at her, tossing the pillow in place before standing up. "I'm getting things ready. Who knows what's going to happen later when the doll is with us. It's just easier to do it now while there's some peace."
"The maids could have done that," she said, pulling him out of the room and back towards the entrance.
"Unlike someone who's gotten used to having help after forty odd years, I usually make my own bed. Besides, I'd rather no one else enter my room, thanks. It's going to be hard enough keeping Kon from hitting on the maids. There's no sense in giving him more opportunities."
Rukia grimaced, realizing the truth of that statement. "Maybe we can just take him out of his plush lion until this is all over. We weren't really going to use the soul pills anyway unless it was absolutely necessary."
"It would be quieter," Ichigo agreed, the doll's screech reaching their ears before they ever opened the door to his house. Yuzu met them in the entryway, handing the electronic baby over to them with a small bag containing its paraphernalia without word. Her hair was ruffled, and she looked somewhat frazzled.
"Ichi-nii, I love you and Rukia-nee but the next time I babysit for you, it better be a real baby and Urahara-san better have had nothing to do with its creation." The sandy blonde turned around and went back to the clinic where she was helping her dad.
"This thing is causing more trouble the longer we have it. You don't suppose old Hat-n-Clogs programed it that way, do you?" the daiko asked, looking into the bag and finding a bruised Kon passed out on top of the other things.
"Knowing Urahara, it wouldn't surprise me. Let's go back and hand this thing over to Eriko-san in 'babysitter' mode. I want to get the shopping over with quickly." Rukia led the way back to her brother's, her back rigid with the commanding air she always displayed when lecturing him on his duties as a Shinigami.
"Sure, you say that now." Once his Chappy-loving partner saw all the cute offerings for babies, she was likely to go into "obsessed" mode and make a fuss over everything they came across.
"Of course I do. What could possibly be interesting about the supplies needed for childcare?"
"What indeed?" Ichigo muttered to himself.
Twenty minutes later the orange haired war hero wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. They had come to the nearest baby store, Rukia's eyes becoming round and filled with wonder the moment the shop clerk had asked if they needed any help. Ichigo, in a bid for sanity had explained right away the situation, not wanting there to be any misunderstandings. Apparently they weren't the only duo to come into that particular place because the clerk was happy to help and even took Rukia around while he did the actual pricing of the items on the list given to them on the worksheet.
"Ichigo, we must get this!" Rukia held up a onesie, her smile brighter than he'd seen in a long time.
"We're not supposed to buy anything, remember, just price things out. Besides, do you really want to waste that on Urahara's doll?" The outfit had been designed to look like a miniature yukata.
"No, but I'll save it until I do have a baby." Rukia watched his irritation level rise and snickered under her breath. He got angry at the oddest things and she often wondered if he even knew why.
Ichigo took a deep breath to avoid blowing his top. The project was nothing more than nonsense and Rukia was having fun with it at his expense. If he made a big deal out of her comment, she'd only laugh, calling him immature. "Fine, we'll buy it. You can show your darling brother when we get home and explain that you're saving it for when you have a real baby. That ought to make him happy."
He saw the minute the knowledge of Byakuya's reaction sunk in and her slight smirk disappeared. Her eyes still twinkled though and he couldn't resist egging her on. "Really, it's a nice outfit. It should meet Byakuya's standards just fine."
"I think I will get it. You're buying, of course."
"Of course, it is my responsibility, isn't it?" he teased, delighting in the light flush that graced her cheeks. A throat clearing next to the shorter Shinigami jerked both of them back to their senses and Ichigo's semi-permanent scowl returned full force.
"We'll take this," Rukia said decisively to the clerk before turning back to the tall teen in front of her. "Did you get everything else?"
"Yeah, we just have to stop at the grocery store and check the prices of things like diapers and formula."
"Then let's hurry up. Nii-sama will be expecting us back soon." Ichigo refrained from telling her she was the one that had lingered over things and caused them to take twice as long as necessary. Instead he pulled out his wallet and forked over the needed amount of yen, amazed at the cost of one little baby outfit.
By the time they got home, his sour mood had turned downright foul. Several ladies in the grocery store had made whispered comments about their interest in the baby supplies, not even bothering to consider the possibility of a school project. Ichigo could have forgiven them if one of them hadn't made a snide comment within Rukia's hearing. His temper had gotten the best of him then and after spouting off, they'd been asked to leave the store.
"You should have just ignored them, Ichigo," Rukia sighed, pausing to find her key.
"I couldn't just let them insult you, Rukia."
"Who cares what they think?"
"I care," he retorted, opening the door to the house without being asked. "I don't like it when any of my friends are talked about that way. They thought you were a loose woman. Any self-respecting guy would have taken umbrage. Besides, do you really want rumors floating around that you're pregnant?"
"What rumors?" Byakuya asked sharply, his aristocratic voice cutting across their conversation.
"It's not important, Nii-sama. Some oba-sans at the store misinterpreted our reason for looking at the baby supplies, that's all." Rukia slipped off her shoes and bowed to her brother. "We'll go put these things away and join you for dinner in a moment. Come on, Ichigo." She dragged the younger male away from glaring at the noble and escorted him to their rooms.
"Not important," he scoffed, tossing the bag from the baby store onto his futon. If the rumors reach his ears, all hell will break loose, you know that."
"There's no need to worry Nii-sama about something that'll probably never happen. And you should be more polite to him; you didn't even greet him when we came home."
There was a slight pause before Ichigo answered. The tone of his voice was filled with sarcastic venom. "What was I supposed to say, 'Honey, I'm home'?"
Rukia sniffed disdainfully at his comment. "A simple 'We're back' would have sufficed."
"I'll try to remember that next time."