50 Sentences Expanded
An NCIS Fanfic.
13. Change – Tony knew it would come, but holding Gibbs' gun and badge in hand as Gibbs left NCIS for the last time, he didn't think it would be now.
Abby was crying. Tony couldn't even see her but he could tell. They were the silent tears of someone desperately trying to hold it together. Ziva didn't cry, but really Tony didn't expect her to.
Gibbs was leaving. Not just leaving for a day or even a couple of days, no. He was legitimately leaving NCIS and never coming back.
Tony knew it would come, but holding Gibbs' gun and badge in hand as Gibbs left NCIS for the last time, he didn't think it would be now. The elevator doors were closing and Tony felt as though he'd been beaten with a Louisville Slugger. There had been no forewarning, no explanation, just a goodbye.
It was bad enough that Gibbs hadn't told Tony about his past. You'd think that the guy you'd been sleeping with for over a year would come clean about a wife and daughter that he desperately missed. But no, Tony had to learn about Gibbs' former life through Director Sheppard. And then Tony couldn't even confront Gibbs about it because Gibbs had no idea who he or anyone else was.
Their entire relationship, consisting of thirteen months and seventeen days, had never existed in Tony's mind; frankly that's what killed him most.
And when Gibbs finally remembered who Tony was he didn't acknowledge their physical relationship, only the working one.
And now he was gone. To say the least, Tony was pissed. He wasn't even really sure who he was most upset with. Gibbs? Himself?
All he knew was that he couldn't just let this go. One hour after Gibbs had left, Tony finally got Abby to a calm place where she wasn't bawling her eyes out. Then he was gone. He didn't go home. He passed the speed limit in more ways than one and pulled into Gibbs' driveway a mere twenty minutes after leaving the office.
The house was dark, but Gibbs' truck was still in the drive so Tony knew he was inside. A single suitcase sat by the door. But Tony could hear the radio in the basement.
Gibbs was sitting in the dark. Humming. The radio was silent. For several moments Tony stood on the top step and listening to the melancholy tune Gibbs was emitting. It sounded familiar but he couldn't place it.
"You could have told me." Tony hated to interrupt but he had to start somewhere.
Gibbs sat up from his spot on the floor and tried to focus on Tony's face in the dark. Tony crept down and made his way to Gibbs' side. He kicked off his shoes and tried to get comfortable sitting on the hard floor.
"Which thing?"
"Any of it."
Gibbs reclined once more and put his arms behind his head. Tony followed suit.
"I didn't tell anyone. Not even Ducky."
"That supposed to make me feel better?" Tony's eyes began adjusting to the inky blackness and he turned to see Gibbs' face.
"Nope. Just the honest truth."
"Gibbs I spent over a year sleeping in the bed you shared with her and you couldn't even tell me!" Tony sat up angrily and wrapped his arms around his knees. Gibbs watching him intently.
"It wasn't the same bed." Tony refused to look at him.
"Did you buy a new one?"
"Nope. I sleep in the guest bedroom. Master bedroom is filled with boxes and all the memories I couldn't handle."
Tony looked down at him, suddenly feeling the infinite sorrow Gibbs had carried for so long.
"From my second wife on I slept in the guest bedroom. But it just became one more thing they got upset over. They couldn't understand why I had an empty room that I kept shut up. Eventually they all learned why and then they just accused me of still being hung up on Shannon."
Tony lay back, this time scooting closer to Gibbs. He could feel the heat radiating from him, a direct contrast to the cool concrete floor. "Why didn't you tell them from the get go?"
"Because I was still hung up on Shannon." When Tony turned his head he found Gibbs looking back at him.
"So when we were together…?"
"Tony I meant everything I ever told you. Shannon will always hold a place in me. But everyone else I have cared for also has a place, a different place. After they died I had to learn to compartmentalize my thoughts. It was the only way I got through."
Tony pressed against Gibbs and was rewarded with an arm snaking beneath and around him. They sat in cool silence for over ten minutes. Cars passed outside and a breeze ruffled the tree outside the basement window. Eventually moonlight made its way, creeping across the floor and illuminating Gibbs face throwing half his features into shadow.
"You're leaving."
"You already know that. I gave you my badge."
"No, I mean you're leaving D.C, aren't you?" Tony felt Gibbs nod against his head.
"Where you going?
"Not sure. Thought I might head down to Mexico and see Mike for a while. Spend some time relaxing and enjoying my life."
"Will you miss it?"
"What?"
"Being here. Working at NCIS." But Gibbs felt the underlying question.
"I'll miss everyone Tony. Abby, Ziva, Tim, Duck. Especially you."
Tony shifted. "You sure? Because for a while I thought you were pretending we didn't exist."
Gibbs prevented him from pulling further away with a tightening of his arm. "Tony it was an odd time. We didn't really have a chance to talk and I didn't think you wanted me telling everyone about us."
"Yeah."
"I will miss you, Tony."
"You're not coming back, are you?"
"Hadn't planned on it. Why?"
"So we're sort of finished then, aren't we? You're going away and I'll be here. Never was one for long distance relationships."
"Thought you said it wasn't a relationship."
"It wasn't but, well, I don't know, it's just weird that it's over now." Gibbs tilted Tony's face up and placed a gentle kiss to his lips.
"I don't leave until tomorrow, DiNozzo." Tony tried to let that fact wash relief over him, but he felt nothing but sorrow.
Gibbs shifted so that he kneelt over Tony and began kissing him. They were not the hungry kisses they had shared when their "thing" was in its infant stages, nor were they the chaste kisses given when they were upset with one another. These kisses were goodbyes. Each one represented an emotion that neither one could speak of.
Gibbs removed his shirt slowly and broke the kiss only to pull it over his head. Tony's shirt was easier. Gibbs masterfully undid the row of buttons as he had many times before.
Tony's slacks melded with Gibbs' sweats in a pile. They left on the socks; removed the underwear. It was a dance, really, and each movement said so much more than normal. Tony's mind got lost in the metaphors and similes. He tried to ignore any irony and all the double meanings. He wanted only to focus on Gibbs' beautiful mouth and what is was doing to his cock.
This was too fast. It would be over soon and then Gibbs would be gone. He wanted more time; an infinite amount. He wanted to say the things he had denied for so long. He wanted to tell Gibbs that he was in love with him; beg him to stay.
But all was lost to the humidity and the sweat that beaded on Tony's lip and forehead. Gibbs was within him, moving in a gentle rocking motion. Tony wrapped his thighs around Gibbs' waist and pulled his lips down for a kiss to connect them forever. This moment could never last long enough to satisfy all the Tony wanted, needed.
Tony stroked Gibbs' shorn hair and tried to curl his fingers into the short strands.
Gibbs was thrusting faster now and Tony held on tighter. God, he was close. And he hated it. Everything was almost over.
And he was crying. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks and Tony thanked his lucky stars that it was too dark for Gibbs to see.
They finished at almost the same moment and even still Tony hung on keeping Gibbs inside him, keeping them connected if for only a second more.
They fell asleep like that. Tony tried so hard not too but eventually his body gave up on him. It gave up on them.
And when he woke up Gibbs was gone.
A month later Professor Tony DiNardo sat in a booth across from a beautiful woman in a coffee shop. He introduced himself and charmed her.
"I didn't catch your name. What was it again?"
She smiled. "It's Jeanne. Jeanne Benoit."
Tony hoped in his heart that this change would be good.
A/N: This expansion was requested by Silver Ardor Dragon.
This expansion is a companion to another expansion: Time. There is also an expansion that takes place roughly right after this one: Torn. They all kind of go together but it is not necessary to have read one before the other.
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Disclaimer: NCIS is the property of Donald P. Bellisario and Don McGill.