50 Sentences Expanded
An NCIS Fanfic.
39. Torn – He wanted so much to tell her he loved her and mean it, but he knew he never could.
He wasn't supposed to fall in love. That wasn't part of the plan. Tony was never completely sure what the entire plan was, but he knew that falling in love with the target's daughter was definitely not part of the plan.
Not telling Gibbs may have been part of the original plan, but it wasn't in Tony's master plan. He trusted the man more than anyone else in the world, and it had taken him a long time to accept the fact that Gibbs trusted him as well. How much would that trust fracture if and when Gibbs found out about Tony's undercover operation?
At first, it had seemed like a good idea. Tony was leading his own team, and Gibbs was on a boat somewhere. He had thought he was doing the right thing.
But as time went on, he began to realize that his "mission" wasn't of importance to the agency itself, but affected the director on a much more personal level. That was when Tony began to seriously question whether or not he should fill the returned Gibbs in. When Tony was no longer in charge it became much harder to keep up the charade. Ziva began snooping. At least two members of the staff now thought he had a terrible illness, and one poor tech guy thought Tony was carrying McGee's baby. Even Gibbs had asked him on numerous occasions if he was okay.
When it had started, Jenny had only informed him that he would make contact with someone close to the target. It wasn't until much later that he would learn that Jeanne was in fact the target's daughter.
She was beautiful, smart, funny, and charming. Her life's work was to help people. She trusted Tony DiNardo. She loved Tony DiNardo. She showed interest in his movies, in his life. Her smile made him feel loved and warm and welcome.
But that same smile also made him squirm with guilt that he was living a lie with this amazing woman. She was the very first person to make him forget, if only for a while, about the impossible crush he had on his very straight boss.
Jeanne accepted him for who he was; all his flaws and issues. And she really loved him.
But swinging from the top of the rock wall, Tony realized that while he might love her and care for her, he could never love her as Anthony DiNozzo, only as Tony DiNardo.
There was only one instance where he allowed himself to speak freely as Anthony DiNozzo, but even then it was Tony DiNardo telling the distraught Jeanne that he love her.
Anthony DiNozzo wanted to say those things. He wanted so much to tell her he loved her and mean it, but he knew he never could.
And as Tony burned her final message in the flames, he erased Tony DiNardo from himself, and allowed the fire to burn away all the lies he had told. All of them, save one.
A/N: Hey guys. Sorry for the long delay in updates. I'm back in school with a huge course load and I've been super busy. The good news is I'm almost done with all the requests I got for expansion. Once they're complete, if you don't see an expansion that you wanted to see, let me know and I'll keep on writing them.
This expansion was requested by Silver Ardor Dragon.
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Disclaimer: NCIS is the property of Donald P. Bellisario and Don McGill.