I don't own Twilight. I wish I did, though!

( :

I simply own Alex, who hasn't been introduced yet. Hm.. ( :

Chapter four

JPOV

My head was swarming with thoughts. Now I knew what Schitzophrenia was like. I can't believe after all this time, she would cheat on me. What if this wasn't the first time? Maybe they'd been doing this for a while now. Either way, I was out of here. I couldn't handle being around them. I knew I had to get away.

I layed there for a moment more before getting up and reaching under my bed for my suitcase. I felt the leathery handle and pulled it out, throwing it on my bed and opening it before going over to my closet and tossing clothes over towards it. I saw how many of my clothes that I didn't like. I'd never noticed that before. They were all just clothes to me. Looking at them with new eyes made me realize how much of my life Alice had controlled. It sickened me. I wasn't some pretty, sports coat-wearing city boy that she had tried to make me in to. I was a country boy. I dug through my closet and pulled out a pair of cowboy boots from the back. Ah, how I missed these things. I carefully tossed them over to the suitcase.

I stepped over to turn on the stereo system Esme had gotten me last Christmas. I pressed play and the sound of Bullet For My Valentine singing Bittersweet Memories filled my ears. Ironic, isn't it? I turned it up and started singing along.

So take my pictures from your wall

Tear them down and burn them all

Light the fire and walk away

(There's nothing left to say)

So, take the ashes from the floor

Bury them to just make sure

That nothing more is left of me

Just Bittersweet Memories

I heard a knock at the door and turned down the music.

"If you're EdFuck or Alice, leave, now. Anyone else can come in." I called. The door opened and Bella came in. We didn't say anything, just stood there staring at each other. Her hair was a mess, her eyes swollen and red. She had splotches all over her face from crying. I couldn't see someone who had became like family to me suffer like this.

"Come here, Darlin'," I said. She walked over to me and I wrapped my cold arms around her. I knew the pain she was feeling, not just because I could feel her emotions, but because it was the same as myself. I knew how bad it hurt to be rejected by the one you loved. It was killing me.

"It just hurts so bad, Jas. Why? Why would they do this? I loved him.. I loved him, Jasper..." She trailed off into heavy sobs and I rested my chin on top of her head.

"I know, Bella, I know. Shh, just let it out," I whispered. I took a deep breath, and noticed the smell of blood. I immediately let go of her. "Bella, are you bleeding?" I asked.

She looked away and shrugged. "I don't know, why?"

It seemed like she didn't even care if she was bleeding. That wasn't like Bella. She couldn't stand the smell or sight of blood.

I sat down on the bed. "Come here," I said. She walked over to me slowly, her arms crossed.

"Just let it go, Jasper, it's probably nothing," She said, annoyance crossing her pain-stricken features. I shook my head. This was not Bella.

I used my keen sense of smell to find where the blood was coming from. My eyes widened as I raised up her sleeve and saw her bloodied arm, covered with tiny cuts. She pulled her arm back and winced at the sharp movement. "Stop, Jasper! Don't worry about it, it's none of your concern."

That was enough for me to go off. "None of my concern? Are you serious? Bella, we may not be close, but I care enough that I can't let you kill yourself."

"I'm not trying to kill myself! I just cut... I have since I moved up here. So I don't see how it's a big deal," she said.

I shook my head and grabbed one of the hideous shirts Alice had gotten me. "I'll be right back. Don't move," I told her. She rolled her eyes, but it was a good enough answer for me. I raced to the bathroom and found the first-aid kit. I don't know why Esme bought one of these. Yeah, vampires really need first-aid. I was suddenly glad she did have one, though. Maybe she bought it for Bella.

I was back in my room and tending to Bella's arms in no time at all.

She looked at me, confused. "Jasper, why aren't you trying to kill me?"

I laughed. "Don't tell anyone, but I don't really have a problem with my thirst. I could taste your blood and stop at any time, to be honest."

Her eyes widened. "Really?" I nodded. She was quiet for a minute. "Do it, I wanna see."

I looked up at her, considering the proposal. "I don't know, Bella. You've lost so much blood already."

"Please, Jas?" She pleaded with me. Why she would want me to drink her blood, I have no idea. If she was sure of it, which she was, I couldn't change her mind. Besides, it's blood without having to kill anyone. How amazing is that? I got up and locked the door.

"Are you positive?" I asked. She nodded. There was no fear in her eyes or her mind, so I got back down on my knees in front of her and carefully lifted her cut-up arm. The bleeding hadn't even slowed down. I took a deep breath and ran my tongue over one of the cuts, savoring the delicious warmth. I heard Bella moan and felt deep waves of lust run through her. Did this turn her on? I decided to try this one out, and licked from her wrist to the inside of her elbow, my cold tongue twirling around one of the deeper cuts. She shuddered and moaned louder, a look of sheer pleasure on her face.

"Um, Bella?" I looked up at her. She opened her eyes and glanced down at me, blushing furiously. "Is this," I said, licking her arm slowly, "turning you on?" She closed her eyes again and I felt the pleasure go through her. "I take that as a yes," I said, laughing. I got up and sat back down on the bed.

"Don't stop," she said, looking at me with those deep brown eyes.

I looked down at her, confused. "Bella..." I started.

She looked away, blushing deeply. "Jasper, you can't tell me you don't feel that spark between us."

This shocked me. "What spark?" I said. This embarrassed her even more.

She was quiet for a moment. "You don't feel the same," she said. It wasn't a question, merely a statement of recognition.

I sighed. "Bells, I love you to death, but it's completely in a brother-sister way. I don't know if I'll ever be able to love again after what happened with Alice. I don't even know if I want to, to be honest. I'm sorry."

She got up and walked to one of the glass windows that bordered my room. Shaking her head, she whispered, "No, I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't have assumed you felt the same. I just thought.. since, well.. Edward and Alice..." She trailed off.

"No," I answered. I didn't meant o be rude or anything but I couldn't let her believe I felt the same. I wasn't going to lead her on. How could she even think that I was going to be into her after what just happened with Alice and Edward? That was crazy. I had to get out of here.

"Are you actually going to leave?" I heard a voice from my door. It was Edward.

Bella couldn't contain herself and started crying at the sound of his smooth voice.

"Get the fuck out of here, Edward," I said. The handle jiggled and I heard him sigh.

"Did you really lock yourself in here?" He asked, agitated.

I laughed. "No," I said. I hesitated. "I also locked Bella in here with me."

I heard him growl and a second later he was standing in front of us, the black glass door shattered behind him. "I hope you're planning on fixing that before Esme gets home. She'll be pissed." His irritation made me laugh. "Nothing was happening, you idiot. Unlike some people, I don't get with my brother's mate." I looked at him before standing up. "I see you're fixed," I said, noting his, now, perfect skin.

"Come on,Bella, we're leaving," he never took his eyes off me, but started backing up towards the empty door frame. She didn't respond. "Bella," we glanced over at her at the same time. She was sitting on my bed, her eyes wide with disbelief and cheeks wet with the pointless tears she cried for my idiotic brother.

"You can't seriously believe I'm going anywhere with you?" She scoffed. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion

"You love me,"he said.

She shrugged. "You're a worthless man-whore. Why should I go anywhere with you? I caught you fucking my best friend. Yeah, I love you, don't get me wrong. You're my world, Edward. But you showed me just how much you loved me when you fucked Alice. You're not worth my time.

He looked at her for a long time. I couldn't tell exactly what he was feeling; it was a mix of anger, self-pity, lust, sadness, regret, and happiness. Why was he happy?

"Edward, why are you happy?" I asked.

He looked straight at me, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "Because Bella just told me what I'd been trying to prove to her for four years. I've told her over and over that I'm not good enough for her, but she always thought it was the other way around. I'm happy she finally sees me for what I am. I'm a worthless monster. I don't deserve her."

"What the hell did you do to her?" I looked past Edward to see Jacob Black.

"Oh, look what the cat drug in," Edward said. This angered Jacob. He was shaking uncontrollably and I knew if he didn't calm down soon he was going to shift.

"Can we take this outside?" I suggested. He looked at me, and I sent his a wave of calm. The shaking reduced immediately and he looked confused. "I can feel the emotions of those around me and manipulate them. I calmed you momentarily so you wouldn't shift in the house and accidentally hurt Bella." He looked at me and I could feel a mix of anger and gratitude.

"I like Jasper's idea of taking this outside, just saying," Bella looked between me and the other two, and we all nodded. Jacob picked Bella up and carried her over the glass and downstairs to outside. Edward and I walked behind them and soon we were in a small clearing right inside the woods.

It took Jacob less than a second to put Bella down and round on Edward. "Now, I'll ask this one more time. If I don't get an answer, I'm going to kill your blood-sucking faggot ass. And you better believe I'm going to do it slowly. It'll take me hours to destroy you before I give in and let you burn. What the FUCK did you do to Bella?"

Not until then did I realize how much I actually liked this Dog. I smiled at the thought.

"Jake, can I just tell you the short version of what happened?" Bella asked quietly. He nodded. "Well, I took a shower and when I came downstairs, Edward was fucking Alice on the couch. Jasper had already caught them."

Jacob started shaking again. "You fucking Leech. You're pathetic. You get the best girl in the world, the only good one that will have you, and you toss her away for some pixie-ass whore."

The shaking got worse, and I sent him as much calm as I could but I knew it wouldn't help this time.

"Bella, I'm going to shift, so get back. Once I shift, get on." Jacob looked at Bella and she nodded, taking about 10 steps back. I blinked and there was a russet-colored werewolf standing in front of me. He lowered himself so Bella could climb on comfortably, and they rode off into the forest, leaving me standing next to the man who was making my life a living hell.

"Can I ask you something, Edward?" I looked over at him sideways. He nodded. "Why Alice? You had Bella, you acted like you were happy. Why did you want Alice, too? You get everything. You get the attention, the love, the confidence. You get the perfect life. Why take the only thing from me that made me happy? Yeah, Alice and I had our issues, and I know I'm probably better off without her... But... Edward, you were supposed to be my brother. Why?"

He never took his eyes off of the spot Bella and Jacob disappeared into when he answered. "Because I love Alice."

I was dumbstruck. "What?"

He nodded again. "I love Alice. I always have. I've been waiting for the day I could have her for my own. Yes, I was happy with Bella. Yes, I loved her, too. But Alice is my everything. She always has been. I'm sorry, Jasper, I really am. But I saw my chance, and I took it. Turns out she felt the same."

"How long has this been going on?" I asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Minutes passed before he answered. "Around four years."

I couldn't take it anymore. I sped out of the forest and ran home. When I got there, I saw Carlisle's car in the driveway. Oh, joy, he and Esme were home.

I walked in the front door and was surprised to see the house perfectly neat. I looked over at Emmett and he mouthed, "You're welcome." I gave him a thumbs up and hurried upstairs to tell Carlisle of my plans.

Walking down the hallway, I noticed my bedroom door had been replaced. Man, I really owed Em. I made it to Carlisle's study and knocked on the door. "Come in,' he answered.