Title: Stay Part 1
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Aaron has some news that Spencer doesn't want to hear. Drabble.
A/N: Part 2 in next chapter. :D
"I don't understand? Why is this such a problem now?" Spencer asked, exasperated and trying very hard to ignore the increasing pressure in his chest.
Aaron sighed and lowered his gaze, "Things are different now, it's complicated."
"Don't do that," Spencer hissed, "Don't talk to me like I'm a damn child. You've been telling me for months that you want to be with me, that you love me, that it's just a matter of time. And now you're ending it, just like that? I deserve a damn explanation."
Aaron raised his eyes now, "I'm not ending anything, of course I love you Spencer. You know that. We just have to be more careful now. I .. " scrubbing a hand over his eyes, he finally said, "Haley's pregnant."
Spencer felt like he'd been slapped.
'We barely even speak anymore Spence, let alone anything else. I promise, I'm all yours.'
Those had been the words his lover had spoken to him one night, while they where curled up together in some distant hotel room.
Spencer was certain that his anguish must have shone though his eyes when Aaron attempted to pull him into an embrace.
"Do not touch me," dammit he wasn't going to cry, he wasn't, "I said, after the first time we kissed that it didn't have to mean anything. You kissed me again. I said, after the first time we slept together that it didn't have to change anything, you said you wanted things to change." Despite his best efforts, the tears fell now.
"I gave you every chance to walk away, but instead you stayed and made me fall in love with you." As tear stained eyes searched deep into guilt ridden ones, Spencer asked the most important question on his mind.
"Why?"
"Because," Aaron said, sounding broken, "I love you. I shouldn't but I do." He desperately reached out again. This time Spencer, seeing tears matching his own fall from the mans eyes, allowed himself to be drawn in, "I'm supposed to be a husband. I'm supposed to be a father. I'm supposed to be a leader. I can't be any of those when I'm with you but you are all that I really want. Please, tell me you still want that. Still want us?"
Spencer looked into deep, imploring eyes and had to look away.
Disentangling himself from Aaron's arms, Spencer swiped at his eyes in a feeble attempt to make himself presentable to the people working outside the closed office door.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Spencer whispered, "I still do. But I don't know if I can anymore."
And, gathering all his strength, Spencer forced himself to leave, and forced himself to ignore the pained sob he heard behind him.
tbc.