In darker times – chapter 8
Harry had been practicing with Tom for almost an hour now. He felt tired, and he hadn't even learned anything yet. Tom was leaning against the wall, grinning at Harry's exhaustion. Harry only glared at Tom while he was trying to calm his anger.
Tom wanted Harry to control his magic. Harry didn't even understand what it meant! Tom had explained to him how he was supposed to feel the magic flow through his body while he was using it. And that he would eventually be able to use that to control the power of his spells. Harry hadn't felt a thing, but he supposed Tom had meant the tingle he felt in his hand when he used his wand. He couldn't feel it in his body though.
After he calmed himself down again, he turned around to look at Tom. Tom was still grinning, twirling his wand around in his hand.
"How am I ever going to get this Tom, I can't feel it. I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel it." He was frustrated, he thought Tom was going to teach him spells. But this was getting him nowhere! And Tom's calmness only infuriated him more. Tom seemed to sense his fury, for he removed the grin from his face and replaced it with a frown.
"You can't expect yourself to learn this quickly Harry. We've only been practicing for an hour now. Some people will never feel it, they're weak, but you're not weak. You can already feel your magic while using your wand. Most people aren't even able to do that. Now, do you want to continue or stop for today ?"
Harry knew he couldn't stop now, Tom was right, they had only been practicing for an hour. It had taken longer for him to learn to cast his patronus, so he couldn't really expect himself to learn this in an hour.
"No, I want to continue." He stood up straight again and faced Tom. The boy looked surprised, he obviously hadn't expected this answer from Harry. It was Harry's turn to grin now. Tom smiled back a little, obviously satisfied.
"Alright, stand straight and prepare to cast a spell again. Think of the spell, try to build up your magic. You said you can feel it in your hand, try to feel how it enters your hand through your arm and the rest of your body. Concentrate on the spell, not on the feeling."
Harry closed his eyes, he felt the tingling in his hand again. He was thinking about a simple spell before, but tried to cast a patronus this time. He felt it worked a little, the tingling was stronger. But it was more draining than the simple spells. The words where on his lips, his magic waiting for him to speak. He bit his lip in concentration, he had to do it right this time. He felt the magic in his arm now, burning in his elbow, but it was weaker than in his hand. Different as well, it wasn't a tingling sensation, more a warm feeling. Like flowing water.
After what seemed like eternity he opened his eyes again. He was panting now, but he had felt! Finally he understood what Tom had meant, he wasn't there yet, but he had felt more than with the earlier tries. His face broke out in a smile, Tom was smiling as well. He held a hand out for Harry to take, and helped him of the floor. Harry hadn't even realized he was sitting on his knees, it must have happened while concentrating on his spell so hard.
"Good work Harry, tell me, what did you do different that you felt it this time ?"
"I tried a more powerful spell, I used an easy spell before. I thought it would be easier to feel when I had to use more magic."
Tom nodded at that. "Yes, you can feel better than. Why didn't you try before ?"
"Well, why didn't you tell me before Tom ? If you had told me I would already have felt it."
Tom laughed at that, and Harry felt anger at that again. So, this was funny was it ?
"You think this is funny ? We could have practiced a lot more today if I had found this out earlier you know ?"
"I know Harry, but the point is that you found out for yourself. What fun would it be if I told you everything ? I had to find out on my own as well you know."
Harry snorted at that, he understood what Tom meant, but it was still pretty unfair. His teachers at Hogwarts had always told him this kind of things before they started practicing. It was much easier that way. But that was the whole point wasn't it, Tom was not going to make this easy for him.
Tom sighed after seeing Harry's mood change.
"Come on Harry, I think this is quite enough for today. We can practice more tomorrow. You didn't really think I was going to make this easy on you, did you ?" He raised an eyebrow at Harry, and Harry couldn't help but smile a little at that.
"No I didn't, but could you at least give me a hint or something next time ?" Tom gave him his half smile again, obviously not then.
Harry followed Tom out of the abandoned classroom. They lifted their silencing charms and wards Tom had put up before they started their 'lesson' and walked of toward the great hall for diner. They walked in silence, until just before they would enter the great hall Tom turned towards Harry.
"You can't speak to anyone about this lessons alright, especially not any professor's. I'm being watched already, so I don't need any more attention." Harry noticed the hidden treat, he saw the danger in Tom's eyes again. The relaxed sixteen year old boy was gone now, and in his place stood a young Lord Voldemort. Harry felt a shiver run down his spine at that, he hadn't noticed the connection before, not really, but he saw it now. But he was not going to show his fear, he already saw their dorm mates shrink away from Tom sometimes, and he was not going to be like them.
"Of course not Tom. I don't know if you had noticed, but people are watching me as well. Especially headmaster Dippet and Dumbledore don't seem to trust me."
This seemed to calm Tom's worries a bit, for he nodded and turned around to enter the great hall again. Harry followed him, and sat next to Tom on the Slytherin benches. The other boys where already there, and had been saving seats for them. Harry noticed Vincent's look when he sat down next to Tom. He was sitting in his usual spot, but Harry pretended not to notice and started to pile food on his plate. Their practice session had starved him, and he desperately needed some food in his stomach. Humphrey laughed at his actions and Harry looked up at him.
"What've you been up to this afternoon Harry, you seem pretty starved."
"Oh, just studying. Gets me pretty hungry sometimes." He grinned at Humphrey. He hoped he would buy it. Humphrey shrugged at him and turned back to Paschal who was reading his essay over again, it seemed like the boy was still struggling with whatever they had been studying today.
Edmond was chatting with a blonde girl from seventh year about quiditch practice that would be held in a few days. Edmond played chaser and apparently they needed one more chaser, a keeper and a seeker on their team.
Vincent was awfully quiet, he was watching Harry and Tom eat quietly next to him. Every time Harry looked over at him he turned his gaze away with an angry frown. The rest of dinner passed with the three boys eating in silence. Finally after what seemed like ages, Tom got up, followed immediately by Vincent. Harry wanted to follow as well, but Vincent shot him a look that made him change his mind. He decided to wait for Humphrey and Paschal instead and join them after dinner.
He thought about his 'lesson' some more. He would definitely have to keep practicing on his own if he wanted to speed things up a little. He could easily practice while using his regular spells, but he had to be careful that no one would notice, for he didn't want to explain himself if someone asked him about it.
Finally Paschal sighed and got up. Humphrey had gotten up as well, and was putting away his history of magic book.
"So Harry, we've got Slug Club tonight. Only you and Paschal aren't in yet, although I doubt if Paschal is ever going to get in." Paschal shot him an angry look at that, but Humphrey pretended not to care and continued, "So what are you going to do tonight ?"
Harry had forgotten about the club, and he didn't feel like spending his free night studying with Paschal. Maybe he could practice some more, or start with his own homework. He hardly knew anyone else in the castle yet, so he didn't have many options. He could contact Dumbledore through his journal as well, to let him know how things where going. But he didn't feel like telling the man anything just yet, he knew Dumbledore wouldn't approve of any training by Tom Riddle. But he could lie a little, tell him he hadn't found out anything yet, which wasn't that far from the truth, and Dumbledore would be satisfied for a little while longer.
He should really try to get in that club as well though, it sounded boring, but at least he wouldn't be left alone when the rest of his dorm mates where there. Harry didn't know Paschal well enough, but he seemed to be studying a lot, and Harry didn't like the idea of studying for the whole evening.
Humphrey was watching him sympathetically, and Harry noticed Paschal was nervously standing on the side.
"I don't know, I guess I could read something or start on my essay for history of magic, not many other options." He shrugged, and started to walk towards the dungeons. "Where is that club held anyway ?"
"Professor Slughorn uses a unused classroom, he made it really nice and comfortable. It's near the dungeons. It will only take a few hours, so we will be back around ten."
They had reached the classroom and Humphrey said goodbye to Harry and Paschal. Paschal came to walk nervously beside Harry and they continued there way to the common room.
"Why are you nervous Paschal ?" The boy in question seemed to jump a little at that, but Harry pretended not to notice, "I don't know you very well, but you seem awfully jumpy tonight."
"Because of the essay we have to turn in, I can't get it right." He was struggling to get the words out and Harry noticed immediately the boy was lying. But he didn't push him to continue. They had reached the common room anyway. Paschal was immediately walking towards his usual spot in the corner, not paying anyone any attention.
Harry went straight for the dorm rooms, and got his journal out, along with a quill and ink.
Professor,
He had to wait for a few minutes, and almost gave up when a hasty scribbling filled the page. It was nothing like the neat handwriting he was used to from the headmaster.
Harry, how are you my boy ?
I'm fine, thank you professor. How are things at home ?
Everything is going fine, your friends ask about you regularly. Have you made any progress yet ?
Not really, but there is something I have to ask you. Tom is in a club, the Slug Club. Professor Slughorn is hosting it. I was wondering what kind of club it is and how I can get in.
That is an excellent idea Harry. Professor Slughorn started the club so he could surround himself with talented students, it was a great club to get higher on the social ladder. All of Tom's friends where in there if I remember correctly.
Not all of them, Paschal Nott isn't in.
No he wasn't, I forgot about that poor boy.
What do you mean professor ?
Nothing to worry yourself over Harry. If you want to get in that class you have to prove yourself to professor Slughorn, and have the right connections, but that shouldn't give you any trouble. I'm sure Tom can help you in, professor Slughorn was always especially fond of Tom.
And how can I get myself in without help professor ?
You are an incredible flyer Harry, that talent alone should get you in that club.
Alright Professor, I've not been able to play quiditch yet, but I'll try to get in that club somehow. Thank you for the help.
Anytime my boy, is there anything else you wished to talk about ?
No sir, that was all.
Alright, don't hesitate to contact me for anything. Goodnight Harry.
Goodnight professor. And thank you again.
Harry sighed in relief, it seemed like Dumbledore didn't suspect anything. He got out easy this time. Harry knew that Dumbledore would not be pleased if he found out about him learning dark arts from Tom, he would possibly even make him come back.
Harry put the journal back in his suitcase, locking it securely. He looked at the old clock on the wall and saw he still had almost an hour before the boys would be done with their club. Harry had no desire to spend time with Paschal, although he wondered why professor Dumbledore had referred to him as a 'poor boy'. But he had also told he shouldn't worry about it, so he supposed it was not important.
Getting out his wand he decided to practice with his magic some more. He picked out a slightly more difficult spell, the patronus, for it would be easier to feel his magic flow then. Concentrating on a happy feeling proved to be hard, he hadn't had much good things happen to him in the last few months. Suddenly Tom's face came up in his mind, and he felt his magic surge trough his body, the sudden feeling made Harry drop his wand. He stared at it in shock, how could Tom's face create such strong feelings ? He hadn't felt anything before when he saw Tom, so how did his face come to his mind so quickly ? He had tried to conjure a strong happy feeling for his patronus, and he had never associated Tom to happiness. But Tom had been the one who offered him a chance to learn some strong magic, and he had really helped him earlier today.
He picked up his wand again, deciding to try it again. Again his magic went surging the moment he conjured Tom in his mind, he felt it tingling in the hand where he held his wand. It spread out to his arm, and in just moments he felt his whole body tingling with magic, just waiting for him to cast a spell. It was a wonderful feeling, a feeling of power. Harry knew that if he would cast a spell right now it would be immensely powerful. He had never before felt this powerful, like he could destroy, cause pain. He lowered his wand again, shocked with the feeling. Harry didn't want to cause anyone pain, or destroy something. But then why had it felt so good ? It had felt almost natural to him, like he had done it al before.
Suddenly the door opened and his roommates walked in. Harry looked at the clock and saw that he had been standing there for more than an hour. It had only felt like a few minutes to him.
"What where you doing with your wand Harry ?" Humphrey was looking at him suspiciously.
"Practicing."
Tom had a smirk on his face, he knew what Harry had been practicing. Harry locked eyes with him, and Tom held it for a moment. He seemed to understand that Harry had gotten the hang of it, for he motioned with his head to follow him.
They walked down the stairs, to a more private part of the common room. Tom set up a silencing charm around them and waited for Harry to begin talking.
Harry told him everything, except for the part where he used Tom's face to conjure the feeling. Tom seemed to understand, he had a huge grin on his face by the time Harry ended his explanation.
"You got it Harry, that was exactly the feeling I meant this morning."
"But it didn't feel good Tom. Well, it did feel good, but not what I'm used to. It felt dark, angry, like I could really hurt someone. I've never felt my magic like that, it always felt lighter."
"But doesn't this feel better ? Imagine the great things you could do. People will respect you, they wouldn't disobey you if you asked them anything. They would fear you."
"But I don't want people to fear me Tom." Harry let his head drop down in his hands. Tom had to understand, anger and aggression where not the answer to everything. "And people would not respect me, fear is not respect."
"Then what do you want Harry. I can teach you but if you don't want to use it, then what is the point of learning ?"
"I still want to learn, it just scared me a bit I guess." Harry sat up straight again, he could always decide to use his new power for good things.
"That's understandable, It feels really overwhelming at first. But you'll get used to it after a few times. And your still in charge Harry, it won't act on it's own."
Harry couldn't believe that Tom had just said that, the future Dark Lord had just told him he didn't have to use his magic in a dark way. He kept the eye contact a little longer, and he started to feel his magic tingling again, surging through his whole body. Harry quickly broke the contact and his magic died down, but was it really his magic ? He had never felt it before, and he didn't even held his wand.
Tom stood up, lifting the charm around them. Harry stood as well, and began following Tom back upstairs before his eye caught sight of a sign on the message board. Hogsmeade weekend would be coming up next weekend.
"You want to go ?" Tom had apparently seen Harry looking at the sign.
"Are you guys going ?"
"I don't know, but we could go if you want to."
"Sure, sounds like fun." Harry was grinning at Tom, who just shook his head and started walking upstairs again. A Hogsmeade weekend with Tom Riddle, where had the world come to ?
A/N. Alright people, thank you for reading again. This chapter has not been edited yet. Chapter 1 has been put up again, edited. The rest of the chapters are also being edited. It will take longer for me to upload new chapters, because I've had some trouble with my internet connection, I'm typing on my own computer and then I have to upload on a different computer. But I'm trying to make it as quick as possible.
Please leave me a review after reading, It keeps me motivated. And thanks again for reading.