II: A Rock Hard Plan
The next day was a school day. This meant that Stan and Kenny didn't see very much of each other, or Kyle. But the planning was swift, embarrassing, and hilarious. For Kenny, anyway. He couldn't wait to tell Stan what kind of revenge was in store for their red headed friend.
"It's kind of late…" Cartman said as he opened the door to his house and let Stan and Kenny and Ike walk in.
"Cartman, calm down." Ike said bitterly as he pushed into the taller boy's house. "It's only eight thirty in the evening." Ike reminded.
"Depends what you want." Cartman stated. "This is a late house call."
"We wanna tell you something." Kenny said as he sat down in a recliner.
"What?" Cartman asked as he took a chair.
"We know who spiked the drink at the party."" Stan said going red in the face.
"I knew it!" Cartman shouted as he pointed at Ike. "I told you this little maggot-"
"I didn't spike the drink." Ike interjected. "My brother did." He said as he stared solemnly around the room. "I had nothing to do with it, I swear."
"Why are you telling me this?" Cartman asked a little surprised.
"Because you are a master of revenge, and we seek your help." Kenny said looking determined to get what he needed.
"Master…, huh?" Cartman asked smiling. "How much cid do you think it takes for him to have a bad trip?"
"I said I wanted to teach him a lesson!" Kenny said bitterly. "Not make the guy lose his mind!"
"Which need I remind you," Cartman pointed out. "he doesn't even have that anymore."
"Will you help us?" Ike asked bitterly. "No smearing the walls with crap, either." He added grimacing. "All that will do is make him puke."
"I have a sure fire plan." Kenny said smiling. "I just need to know you're on board with me and that you will supply me with whatever I ask you." He said smiling brightly at Ike.
"Fine." Cartman said grimacing. "What do you need from me to hurt this little Jew?" he asked.
… … … … …
"This is really mean you guys." Butters said as he sat at the Canadian's feet. "Kyle didn't do anything that bad to deserve this." He said sadly. "Can't we just… you know… make him eat dirt or… really old mayo?" he asked sighing.
"Come on, buddy." Kenny pleaded. "He spiked the punch and made your dad ground you. Have you forgotten that?" he asked leaning down and staring into Butters's eyes.
"He must die!" Butters shouted.
"Whoa Nelly." Ike said shifting a little bit. "We're only trying to embarrass him, Stotch. Not make him die over spiked punch."
"So it's settled." Cartman said grimacing evilly. "I'll supply you with the stuff, one of you gets it to Butters, He puts the planin motion. I hope Rebecca doesn't kill us." He said smiling. "Make sure everyone knows what to do and when to do it."
The door opened and in came Kyle. The place was suddenly filled with a lot of concealed laughter. Kyle looked at Eric, and back at Butters and Ike. He looked at Stan and Kenny too.
"What are you guys all doing here?" he asked. "Not that I mind."
"Just hangin' out." Cartman replied coolly. "I'm sittin' here, Stan and Kenny are flirting, Ike and Butters and I were talking." Cartman relayed.
"I just came because I have my huge interview tomorrow, and your dad told me you were over here Butters." Kyle said insistently. "I left my paperwork in your car."
Butters nodded and stood up. "Let's go out there and I'll give it to you." He said yawning. "I think after that I'll go home you guys." He added looking at the rest of the crowd.
"See you tomorrow, Stotch." Kenny said pretending to yawn.
"You think he suspects a thing?" Stan whispered into Kenny's ear as he scooted close to him.
"Nah." Kenny said as he wrapped Stan up in a hug. He pressed his lips into Stan's neck making Stan blush furiously. Dammit, Kenny! Stop it!
"Why are you guys being all secret like?" Cartman asked as he came and sat down beside Stan.
"We were just talking about how Kyle might be suspicious of our deeds." Kenny said as he pulled away from Stan.
"He's not suspicious." Cartman said without bothering to whisper.
"Who's not suspicious?" Kyle asked as he came back into the door.
"No one." Ike said yawning.
Kenny, Stan and Cartman had shit eating grins that betrayed them. Kyle glared at them. "What are you up to?" he asked. "If you're planning to kill someone, let me tell you, little brother, mom will be mighty mad at you if you go to jail."
"We aren't up to anything." Ike said standing up. "It's past your bed time anyway, Kyle." He said smiling. "Stan, will you drive us home?" he asked. "This douche has an interview tomorrow with the Dean of Boulder University."