Warning: If you don't like girlxgirl pairings, then I suggest you leave now. There's nothing here that you will enjoy.
Notes: Big thanks to bluetigress for agreeing to be my beta reader/editor for this story. It'll make the writing process go a lot smoother. Saw an interesting article on the internet about weird stuff people eat around the world and for some reason thought of Bueno Nacho....weird. Anyways, read and review.
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Kim Possible or any characters associated with the show.
Kigolicious Days
"El Naco de la Araña"
Kim and Monique stared at the nacos sitting in front of them uneasily, a heavy silence surrounding them. Kim began hesitantly poking at her naco with a fork as if it would grow legs and jump away.
"KP, it's not going to kill you or anything," Ron said dryly, picking up his own naco and taking a hearty bite out of it.
Rufus nodded in agreement, nibbling on his own naco.
"Right," Kim drawled out quietly, eyeing the nacho warily. Monique chewed on her bottom lip anxiously as she carefully poked her naco with her finger.
Being almost a celebrity at Bueno Nacho, Ron had been invited to test out their newest naco recipe, 'Beast from the East'. Being the good friend that he was, Ron invited Kim and Monique to come with him. Since Shego was currently away on a Global Justice mission, Kim thought it would be a good way to pass the time. Monique just tagged along because she was curious about what kind of naco deserved the title 'Beast from the East'.
"Ron, what did they say was in these nacos?" Monique asked, glancing up at the blond, who was happily munching on his naco.
Ron took a sip of his soda to wash down his food.
"It's a special meat that was imported from somewhere in the south-eastern region of Asia," Ron said in an informative voice, reaching down to pick up his second naco. "I didn't really ask what kind of meat it was, all's I know is that it's delicious!"
Kim still looked uneasy as Ron took a large bite out of his naco.
The redhead looked down at her uneaten naco and couldn't help but squirm a little. There was something in her gut that was telling her not to touch the thing. The meat in it looked....weird.
"Maybe I should get Wade to make sure there's nothing funny with it," Kim murmured, pulling our her Kimmunicator. Monique quickly nodded her head in agreement.
Ron swallowed a mouthful of naco and blinked at the redhead.
"Seriously?" he asked incredulously. He sucked his teeth when Kim stared blankly at him, letting him know she was completely serious. "Mon?"
Monique shrugged.
"Girls intuition is telling me something is fishy about this naco," Monique said in a defensive tone when Ron quirked an eyebrow at her.
Ron glanced at the two girls before sighing loudly.
"Pansies," Ron muttered, taking another big bite out of his naco.
Kim halted her actions, frowning at Ron who had turned his head away as if nobody was sitting in front of him while he chewed his food thoughtfully.
"Pansy?" Kim said quietly, narrowing her eyes at her best friend. Monique groaned as she slumped in her seat.
"Just call Wade already," Monique muttered, sighing when Kim ignored her and just kept glaring at Ron.
"Being catious about what I put in my mouth doesn't make me a pansy," Kim defended.
"What? Did you hear something Rufus? I thought I heard a pussy cat mewing outside," Ron said thoughtfully, glancing around the area, avoiding Kim's gaze.
Kim glared at Ron for a few moments, before putting away her Kimmunicator. Monique resisted the urge to slam her head on the table. Sometimes Kim's 'anything's possible for a Possible' attitude had its set backs.
"I'm not a pansy," Kim grumbled, picking up her naco. That uneasy feeling surfaced again, and Kim hesitated to take a bite out the naco.
"Girl, I'm telling you, my intuition is telling me this is a bad idea," Monique warned, a disgusted look on her face as she slid away from Kim when the redhead raised the naco to her mouth.
Kim paused and blinked at the dark skinned girl, thinking that maybe just this once it wouldn't hurt to be more cautious than usual.
"I'm sure Shego would just love to hear how the great Kim Possible was so scared of a naco that she had to use a high tech piece of equipment to call in her backup, who just happens to be a reclusive teenage boy sitting in front of a computer," Ron said casually, quirking an eyebrow at Kim.
The table was silent for a moment.
"Been hanging out with Shego lately?" Monique asked, blinking curiously at Ron who just smirked.
"That's low, Ron," Kim muttered, glaring at the blond.
Ron shrugged, a smirk still on his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about, KP. I mean, would it be so bad to tell a sarcastic, snarky, downright bully of a woman like Shego that her girlfriend was being a big puss-"
"Alright already!" Kim growled out, scowling at Ron when he gave her a smug smile.
Kim made a mental note to herself to scold Shego for being a bad influence on her best friend. One snarky person in her life was tolerable (even though she loved Shego to death), but having a second one was just plain unacceptable.
Monique gave Ron an impressed look. It wasn't everyday that Ron was able to successfully manipulate Kim.
Taking a deep calming breath, Kim quickly took a bite out of the naco. Monique watched the redhead anxiously as Kim slowly began chewing.
Kim's eyes widened in surprised as she chewed on her mouthful of food.
"See, it's good, right?" Ron said proudly, beaming when Kim nodded in response.
Monique didn't look convinced as Kim happily chewed her food.
"Since you like it so much, you can have mine," Monique offered as she pushed her plate over to Kim.
"Ifsh shnot bash," Kim mumbled around her food. Monique just shook her head, smiling amusedly at Kim.
"Come on Mon, just take-" Ron stopped what he was saying when Monique stuck out her palm out and turned her head away, giving him the universal sign to 'talk to the hand'.
"I don't think so. You and Kim can be all adventurous and stuff. I'm playing it safe," Monique said, the finality apparent in her tone.
Ron sighed and shook his head sadly before resuming his meal.
Kim took another bite just as her Kimmunicator chimed, signaling she had an incoming call. Kim glanced down to see who it was and her face lit up when she saw it was Shego.
"mflello," Kim mumbled around her food when Shego's dirt streaked face appeared on the screen.
Shego frowned.
"I'm pretty sure your mother taught you to never speak with your mouth full, Pumpkin," Shego chastised.
Kim rolled her eyes and swallowed her food.
"Alright, mother," Kim said sarcastically, grinning when Shego just smirked at her. "What's up?"
"Well, I remembered you telling me you were going to Bueno Crapo to try out some new naco with Stoppable and uh, well I sort of found out what was in those nacos and wanted to tell you, but...," Shego paused, her lips curling into a mischievous grin. For some reason, that smile caused a cold shiver to slither down Kim's spine. "But seeing as you already ate some of that stuff, I think it'll be for the best if I don't tell you."
The table was silent for a moment.
"Shego, what's in the nacos?" Kim asked lowly, that uneasy feeling growing in her stomach.
"Weeellll," Shego drawled, her grin absolutely evil by now. "How was it?"
Kim hesitated for a second, glancing down at the her half eaten naco and then over at Ron, who was watching their conversation curiously. Ron blinked when Kim shot him a 'if there's something wrong with this naco, I'm going to slay you' look.
"It was actually pretty tasty," Kim said carefully, staring suspiciously at Shego's grinning face.
"I bet," Shego snickered, her eyes dancing with mischief. "Especially considering the meat didn't exactly come from any kind of mammal."
Kim and Ron froze in their seats. Monique sighed in relief, patting herself on the back for resisting the pressure to eat her naco. That uneasy feeling in Kim's stomach was now buzzing in her head.
".....what's wrong with these nacos?" Kim asked in a quivering voice, her face pale.
"Oh, nothing's wrong with them really. My team was just passing through Cambodia, and we stopped by to check out a certain...delicacy of the country. And we happened to come across a Bueno Nacho representative in the area who was talking about the newest item on the Bueno Nacho menu..."
Even though Kim was head over heels in love with Shego, Kim seriously wanted to strangle the older woman and force her to just say what she had just ate.
"Shego, what's wrong with these nacos?" Kim asked again in a more urgent tone.
"Well, I'm sure your familiar with this place. I'm in a small town called Skuon....," Shego trailed off, laughing lowly when Kim's face went deathly white as realization filled her eyes.
Kim gaped at Shego and then at the nervous looking blond sitting across from her in the booth at Bueno Nacho, a half eaten naco held loosely in her hand. Rufus nervously glanced at Kim, then at Ron, and then back at Kim. Gulping loudly, the naked mole rat scurried behind the napkin holder.
"What.....what did you say?" Kim asked quietly, her eyes the size of dinner plates, her skin pale.
Ron began sweating bullets as Kim kept giving him that wide eyed stare.
"Skuon," Shego said in cheerful voice, her eyes shining with amusement. There was some noise from behind Shego, which made the older woman glance behind her. "Welp, there's my ride. And uh, I still love you and everything, but for the sake of me not barfing all over your face, I think it would be for the best if you didn't kiss me anytime soon. Ciao!"
The table was silent as Kim stared at her blank Kimmunicator screen with a horrified look. Whether it was from learning what was in her naco or the prospect of being banned from kissing Shego was anybody's guess.
"You alright there girl?" Monique asked worriedly when Kim didn't move an inch for a while.
Ron silently began inching his way out of his seat.
"I...," Kim gulped and glanced up to look at Monique.
Monique blanched and scooted away from Kim when she saw the nauseous expression on the redhead's face.
"I just ate....," Kim breathed heavily and carefully place her naco back on her plate.
Ron was at the edge of the booth now and was judging the distance from his seat to the door.
"I....ate...," Kim turned her head to look at Ron and her expression slowly transformed to one of murderous intent, making the blond freeze.
"Uh, heh, c-come on KP, it was delicious, right? S-So what if we just ate-"
"Fried...tarantulas," Kim choked out, her body trembling with rage. She figured she could either focus on the fact that she just ate a furry, eight legged, multi-eyed monster, or she could focus on beating Ron into a bloody pulp. A voice in her head that oddly sounded like Shego told her violence was always a good option.
Monique gagged and covered her mouth as she turned slightly green.
"Ewww," Monique said quietly, eyeing Kim's half eaten naco like it was a steaming pile of cow dung.
"B-but it was good....right?" Ron squeaked, a feeling of doom descending on him when a vein began bulging on Kim's forehead.
"Yeah, it was fantastic," Kim growled menacingly, clenching her fists so tight her knuckles cracked. "Please, let me show you my appreciation."
Ron yelped and bolted out of the booth, sprinting for the exit.
Kim grabbed the metal napkin holder and hurled it through the air, hitting the back of Ron's knee, sending the blond rolling across the floor. Rufus squeaked in terror at having lost his hiding place and dashed behind the ketchup bottle. Kim's nostrils flared as she stood up and strode menacingly towards Ron.
The clerk working behind the cash register glanced at Ron's whimpering form on the floor and at the pissed off redhead closing in on him. Based on the dark aura that was surrounding the redhead, the clerk decided it would be in his best interest to just pretend they didn't exist.
"KP, come on! I-I didn't know! Do you seriously think I would knowingly make you eat something like that!?" Ron pleaded desperately as Kim grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yanked him up.
Kim studied Ron's frightened face for a moment before giving him a thoughtful look.
"Normally, I would just give you a warning....," Kim began, making Ron sigh in relief. "But then again, if I let you go, I'll never hear the end of it from Shego...."
Ron stiffened and gulped.
"C-come on KP, what's more important? The well-being of your best friend who you've known for forever or the opinion of a woman who just last year tried to strangle you on sight when you came to her house?" Ron waited anxiously as Kim frowned slightly in thought.
"Well...," Kim murmured, her grip loosening a little. Ron sighed in relief again, sure that he was in the clear.
"Ugh, this is SO disgusting," Monique's voice traveled over, who was busy poking through her naco with a fork, curious about its contents. "I think I can make out a fang."
Kim blanched and had to resist the urge to hurl. Taking advantage of the situation, Ron broke her hold on him and darted out the door. Kim contemplated chasing after him, but decided it wasn't worth the effort.
"Coward," Kim muttered, taking a deep, calming breath. Running a hand through her hair, Kim sat back down across from Monique.
"You alright?" Monique asked worriedly when Kim rubbed her face with her hands.
"I'm fantastic," Kim mumbled, trying to suppress the urge to puke by not thinking about what she just ate.
"Well, look on the bright side," Monique said as she went back to curiously poking through her naco. "At least you didn't eat the whole thing and-"
Monique paused when she glanced up at Kim, pursing her lips in disgust.
"Uh, Kim honey, you..have a bit of food on your lips," Monique said uneasily, pointing finger at the corner of Kim's mouth.
Kim couldn't stop her tongues automatic response to lick up the food. She immediately regretted it when she licked up the bit of tarantula meat.
"That's...just sick," Monique muttered, placing a hand over her mouth.
Kim spat it out and bolted out of her seat, sprinting for the bathroom.
"Sick and wrong," Monique sighed, pushing her plate away before following after the redhead, knowing she would need someone to hold her hair while she puked.
Shego whistled a low tune as she rang Kim's doorbell, smoothing out her green turtle neck sweater and her tight black jeans.
She stopped whistling and winced when James answered.
The older Possible gave her a blank stare.
"....what do you want?" James asked, blinking at her.
Shego swallowed the sarcastic remark about her wanting to do dirty things to his daughter, figuring it wouldn't be productive.
"I was invited for the family dinner by Kim...and Anne...and I just called like thirty minutes ago to confirm it," Shego said steadily, silently telling herself to behave or risk doing something to upset Kim.
"....Oh, right," James muttered, frowning slightly as he backed away and let Shego in.
"Behave yourself," Anne scolded as she walked out of the kitchen and headed for the pair.
James muttered something under his breath and headed for the kitchen.
"Well, glad to see he and I are still great friends," Shego said sarcastically, accepting the light hug Anne gave her.
"At least he's not threatening to call the police every time you come over," Anne said amusedly, stepping away from Shego to stand at the foot of the stairs. "Kim, honey! Shego is here!"
Shego blinked in surprise when she didn't hear the usual rumble of footsteps that usually signaled Kim's enthusiastic charge to greet her. Instead, she heard feet shuffling slowly down the stairs.
"Hey Sheg," Kim mumbled miserably, dressed in sweat pants and an over sized shirt, a sick parlor to her skin.
Shego couldn't help snickering a little bit as she walked over to Kim to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm guessing those nacos didn't go down to well," Shego said amusedly, patting Kim sympathetically on the back.
Kim gave her a half hearted glare.
"Guess those nacos didn't go down to well," Kim mocked back, making a face at Shego before sighing tiredly. "I really wish you would have told me about those nacos sooner."
Shego chuckled in response and started heading for the kitchen, but stopped when Kim tugged on her hand.
The redhead gave her a pitiful pout.
"Give me a kiss and make me feel better?" Kim asked hopefully, rubbing the back of Shego's hand with her thumb.
Shego stared blankly at her before slowly raising an eyebrow.
"You just ate a naco filled with spider meat and you want me to kiss you?" Shego asked, sounding like what Kim was proposing was the most insane idea ever.
"Pleeeeaaasseee," Kim begged, tugging lightly on Shego's arm.
Shego rolled her eyes, frowning at her girlfriend.
"Maybe tomorrow, when the thought of furry, eight-legged freaks don't come to mind when I think of your mouth," Shego offered, her frown faltering when Kim's lips began to tremble.
"Ok, I guess I can wait," Kim said softly in a defeated tone, her eyes getting watery as she turned around to slowly shuffle towards the bathroom.
"What the fuck," Shego muttered in exasperation, her shoulders slumping as regret started to descend on her as she watched Kim's slumped form walking away. She really hated when Kim pulled out the pity card like that. It never failed to make her feel like scum. "Wait a minute Princess, come back here."
A smug look briefly crossed Kim's face before disappearing as she turned back around, still looking like someone had kicked her puppy.
"What?" Kim asked quietly, eyeing Shego wearily.
The former thief sighed softly and walked over to Kim, wrapping her arms around her and placing a soft peck on the redhead's lips.
"There. Feel better?" Shego asked, placing another peck on Kim's nose. Kim wrapped her arms around Shego's torso and smiled brightly at Shego, nodding her head happily. Shego couldn't help but smile back and give her more kisses.
Kim sighed in contentment and just stood still as Shego placed butterfly kisses all over her face. Kim tightened her hold on Shego and caught one of Shego's pecks with her lips, drawing it out for all it was worth.
They both froze, however, when someone coughed .
Anne smiled crookedly at the pair from the kitchen doorway, her arms loosely crossed.
"I don't mind the PDA but unless you're looking to put a certain 'you know who' in a bad mood, I'd suggest you save it for later and come to the dinner table," Anne suggested.
Kim blushed furiously and scrambled away from Shego, embarrassed to have been caught in such a private moment by her mother. Shego cleared her throat, a little flustered.
"Uh, yeah. No problem," Shego said quickly, striding past Anne and into the kitchen. Anne chuckled and followed after her.
Kim started following them but stopped when James appeared in the kitchen doorway and froze when he saw Kim. Kim fidgeted when James stared at her blankly.
"Kimmie-cub, uh...you have...," James gestured towards her lips.
Kim blinked and wiped her mouth with back of her hand and glanced at it, her face heating up when she saw the bit of black lipstick on her hand.
"Uh....thanks?" Kim responded unsurely, smiling weakly at her father.
James blinked at her. "You're welcome. But really honey, you should know better than to eat one of those licorice-flavored popsicles before dinner," James scolded, before walking past her and into the bathroom.
Kim stared after him, a baffled look on her face. She didn't know whether to believe her father was really that oblivious or to accept the fact that he was just making things up to avoid accepting the fact that his daughter was just making out with the only person in the house wearing black lipstick a few moments ago.
Kim sighed and headed for the kitchen.
Of course it was the latter. Especially considering it was a well-known fact that she was allergic to licorice. She really needed to have that heart to heart talk with him someday. And soon.
to be continued...
AN: Again, thanks to bluetigress for agreeing to be my beta reader. So yeah, fried spiders. Read an article on it, thought it would be interesting to try....until I saw the picture of a barrel full of fried tarantulas. Yeah, almost puked. To those who have eatten them before....you are digusting. Really, really disgusting, lol, jk. I appreciate the reviews, so keep em coming. Like I said before, if there's something you'd like to see happen or have an interesting idea, let me know since this story is for the fans.
!!!!!OMAKE!!!!!
Shego: Mmm, this dinner is fantastic, Anne. Nice personality, good looks, great cooking skills....I think I'm falling in love. *wink*
Anne: *giggles* I'm flattered.
Kim: Shego...are you flirting with my mom?.......ew.
Shego: *glare* Don't give me that crap. Don't think I didn't see you checking out my mom's ass when we last saw her.
Kim: *blush* W-What are you talking about?
Anne: Don't be embarassed, Kimmie. It's perfectly natural to want to stare at Liz's rear. It is quite nice to stare at...*daydreams*
James: *whimpers*.....honey?
Anne:....I think I hear the phone ringing. *dashes off*
Jim:*holds hand out*
Tim:*sighs**hands over twenty dollar bill*
!!!!END OMAKE!!!!!