Izzy actually sent me this a while ago but I forgot to upload it. Please R&R
Chapter three
Koschei lied there on his bed after he came back to his senses, or relatively back to his senses enough to be able to open his eyes. He wasn't even sure for how long. It could have been days, weeks, months, or it could have been hours or even mere minutes, it didn't really matter. He had lost all sense of passing time, he didn't need it anymore. If this would mean that they would just leave him here alone to rot it was all good with him. And still the drums did not give him rest raging through his head. He was sure that in some moment his mum had brought him some of her boiled herbs, he did not touch them.
Everything was passing around him like in a haze through the fog of the pain and the drums. Even keeping his head up and his eyes open was taking too much of an effort. People came and went healers, therapists and family. He was sure that his father had haired the former to find what was wrong with him, but none of them could. They started to force feed him, because he would not acknowledge the food. He could hear his mother plead with him, demand and cry for her little boy, but he would not react. Oh, mum you poor woman if you knew that that little boy was now claimed by the drums and you would never have him back.He would think with remorse but would never speak aloud.
And there would be one person, one person who could stop the drums from claiming his very soul, the one person that never came to his bedside. He pleaded silently with his Thete to come and see him, just to hold his hand. He told himself that he didn't care if Theta would come or not, it wasn't as if he needed someone to hold his hand anyway. Still gradually with the time passing he become more and more aware of his surroundings, he still would not recognise that his mother was there, or at least would not give any indication of it. By now she had took to reading him old Gallifreyan stories and fairy tales, but it didn't help the noise in his head. Koschei would hardly be able to concentrate on what his mother was saying, there were times that all he could concentrate on were the drums. And they would drive him angry, demand from him to tell her to get lost, to stuff all her tales about Toclafains and Reapers and just go away. And he would sometimes, he would snap at her and shout, and she would look at him with such a disdain that it would bring tears to his eyes. Still he would never throw himself in her arms and beg for forgiveness.
Oh, but there would be worse days when his father would come, who had soon gone past the concern of Koschei's health physical or otherwise. He would try to talk to him at first; hoping that Koschei would snap out of it and come back to reality, but soon he would give up and start to demand. That day wasn't much different as well, Lord Oakdown came into the room sat on the chair next to his bed and leaned with his elbows on his knees but never took his son's hand. The room was dimly lit with the curtains closed over the big windows blocking the bright daytime light coming from the twin suns. The servants had explained to Lord Oakdown that Koschei wanted the light blocked complaining of causing him a headache. Living like a burrower Lord Oakdown thought bitterly, and this one was his only son condemning his whole family line to disgrace. He wouldn't allow this to happen.
"Whatever happened Koschei, you have to snap out of it," his voice was calm and collected but lingering on the cold. "You are a Time Lord not some disgraceful Shaboogan. Get a grip on yourself and by the next week go back to the Academy. I know you can hear me, and I'm not having you wallowing in self-pity like some lesser creature." Lord Oakdown finished and waited for a moment hoping that his son would give a reaction, after not receiving one in less than five minute he decided that he had enough of this and with a graceful step left the room.
Koschei sighed with relief, he might have pulled himself out of the stupor of the first couple of days but he didn't want to deal with his father right now. Closing his eyes he breathed deeply to drive the noise deeper into his mind so he could at least try to think clearly. He was worried about what his father would say and that he might even disown him from the family. It wouldn't be such a precedent here on that planet full with stuffed shirts, especially not if the person had a position into the High Council. But his father was right about one thing Koschei thought, he could not afford to just lie here and wallow in self-pity. Maybe that's what that Shaboogan would have done, or even some of Theta's beloved humans, but he was a Time Lord. And as every Time Lord would do, Koschei needed to man up and face the world once again with his head held up. He made the decision that he was going to be ready to go to the Academy by the beginning of the next week. Drums and bullies be damned. He would show everyone that he was all the part the proud young Time Lord he was supposed to be, and if Theta tries to get on his way it would be regretful but he would deal with it. He was not going to even ask why his lover never came to see him, it would be inappropriate for a Time Lord to do.
A few days later standing in front of the dormitories' door holding his back in hand Koschei could feel his knees go weak and his hearts speeding up. He chastised himself silently feeling disgusted with the way his nerves were overwhelming his Time Lord senses. He took deep measured breaths before even reaching for the door, the sounds around him seems to get muffled and distant, the lights dimmed and he felt as if seeing the world through a curtain of a cotton wool. He stared into the door handle as if enhanced by the view the drums in his head were engulfing everything else into the dark chasm of pain, anger and despair. He realised with a jolt of a shock that he was sinking into his catatonic state again giving on to the primitive instinct of fear and shook himself firmly out of it. He was not going to do this to himself again.
Reaching for the door handle, Koschei was determined that the next time he see Barin, he was going to kill him making him feel all the pain and humiliation he had to experience in the last few days. Before he could open the door however, it was yanked wide open and a figure hurled itself at him with the speed of the light and the force of a hurricane. Instantly alert and on reflex Koschei pushed the person away causing them to fall hard with a thud on the ground. His self-preserve instincts kicking in before he could process who that was and recognise Theta, who now was looking up at him with wounded expression.
"Kosch, I'm sorry that I didn't come to see you alright…" Theta said with barely restricted voice, visibly making an effort not to shout at Koschei for the shock he gave him. His blue eyes shone with hurt and unanswered questions.
"Oh, you are sorry aren't you?" Koschei actually spat bitterly at him. Rassilon he though, he didn't even realise how hurt and angry he was with him until Theta opened his mouth to say that he was sorry. As if sorry would sort out any moment of hurt, any minute of betrayal that Koschei felt.
"Kosch…" Theta tried to appeal to him standing up and reaching for him. But Koschei was too angry now, so he stepped back and pulled away from his friend's touch. Somewhere deep down beneath the noise he knew that it was unfair to let it all out on Theta, but he needed to vent his anger and the other young Time Lord was the most convenient target at that moment.
"Don't touch me now." Koschei bellowed. "I waited for you. I hoped, I pleaded with every deity we read in these books about. But you didn't come. You never came!"
"I couldn't" Theta said looking at the ground. "I wanted and every day you weren't here I thought I was going to die. But that wasn't as bad as the thought that something was so wrong with you that you can't get up and come here. I thought you were dying and no one wanted to tell me. I came to your house, but your father didn't allow me in. I'm sorry Kosch…" Theta said in a hushed broken voice.
He reached his friend and took his chin in his hand propping it up. Oh, Thete, oh his beautiful, beautiful Thete he did come, all that time Koshei had blamed him and felt betrayed he was unfair. His Thete did come, even knowing that his father would do something like forbidding his love to see him a weight from Koshei's gut dropped off. His Thete did care. And then just when he was ready to sigh with relief he saw the small trickle of blood that was running down Theta's temple, blood that he was responsible for.