The Speed of Darkness
Chapter 13 - Memories

Manfredi was sitting in a dark corner of some building, some alleyway, some street, some city. He thought of Sarah.

A tall, strong looking penguin stands on the top of a large snowdrift, looking out onto the horizon. His warm feathers softly shuffle in the arctic breeze. His eyes are locked onto the sun, which barely breaks the horizon before setting again. His brown eyes are glazed over and his face is blank, giving him the appearance of a statue. He stands with confidence in the icy air, catching the only glimpse of the sun in months. It warms him, if only for a few seconds. No smile pulls at the penguin's beak.

Another penguin trudges up the snowbank. She is sleeker then the strong penguin, more slender and simple. She stands next to her mate and looks out into the same sunset that he stares at. She breathes in the sun's warmth. The strong penguin notices her presence, and tilts his head towards her. She looks back at him, the sun glistening off her jade green eyes. They stare at each other for a few minutes. He wishes that he could see past her eyes and into her thoughts like she could him. She wonders why she always knows what he is thinking. Slowly, the corners of her mouth turn upward into a smile. His face remains blank; a facade lacking emotion.

This continues until he redirects his sight to the sun, which is very nearly set. She inches closer to him and leans up against him, her head gently resting on his chest. He hesitates, but slides a strong but gentle flipper around her, pulling her in a little closer. They stare into one another's eyes once again. She speaks.

"I love you, Manfredi."

No response. Not even a twitch. She worries that it was too strong, too soon. He looks at her with eyes that are impossible to read, barriers to most. She sees beyond them, though, and knows that his heart radiates with unmatched compassion and sensitivity. She diverts her eyes from his, feeling embarrassed. He responds by returning her gaze to his by using a flipper to gently lift her beak back up.

"Why tell me this now?" he began. His voice sounded not angry, but almost quavered with the slightest hint of sadness.

She worries about him. She watches him from across town. She watches how he goes about his business alone. He doesn't stop to talk to anyone. He disappears for days at a time. Not many people know his name.

"I... I... I just..." She can't find the words to express what she is trying to say. Too strong, too soon.

"I know you watch me. I know you know me." He speaks casually, like nothing bothers him. "Why?"

"I care for you, Manfredi," she says, openly.

He seems startled by these words. His eyes light up, and the facade drops. He knows he hasn't heard anyone say that to him for eons. His uncle was the last one; he passed away when he was only a chick, eaten by a lion seal.

She knows what he is thinking. "I know you're so drawn back because you feel lost and like everyone hates you."

"Sarah," he begins, his voice steady, "why do you see so much in me?"

She can't help but smile. "The real question is, why doesn't everyone else?"

He smiles.

"I love you, Manfredi."

"I love you, too, Sarah."

The world grows dark around them.

* * * * *

He strides into their home, carved out of solid snow and ice. The walls are translucent, although no sun illuminates the room. The only light comes from a single candle in the middle of the area, placed on a counter carved from snow. His eyes fall upon his fiancé, chopping a large fish at the kitchen counter. He walks up behind her, wraps his flippers gently around her waist, and nuzzles his beak into her neck.

"Aw, Manfredi," she says compassionately, turning around.

"How is everything, my love?" he says, smiling wide.

He has changed much since they first met. She helps him deal with the grief of his uncle's passing, emotional trauma locked deep inside of him. The strong penguin smiles now, withholding his facade of inhuman lack of emotion. He laughs when things are funny, and grows angry when when he feels he needs to get angry. Nearly everyone in town knows his name now: Manfredi the Hunter.

"Just wonderful." she responds after kissing him lightly. "I have big news for you."
"Oh?" he wonders. "Just what might that be?"
She gestures down to her feet, where a flap of warm feathers gently hugged an ivory egg. "We're parents."

The strong penguin doesn't know what to say. He is overcome with excitement and happiness. He races out of the building screaming "I'm a father! I'm a father!" She chuckles and returns to her dinner preparations.

Manfredi runs up and down the streets paved with ice, grabbing and hugging each random passerby, telling them the good news. They congratulate the strong penguin, and he beams triumphantly.

He will name his son Fredrick. He will name his daughter Sarah. He will teach his child everything he knows. He will play with him or her when he's home, and will think about his child when he's away. He continues moving through the streets, letting the world know the news.

The world grows dark around him.

* * * * *

"Sarah," he says compassionately to the green eyed penguin. The room feels cold and dark.

"What about our child?" she returns, gesturing to the ivory egg at her feet. Her face, which usually expresses happiness, now expresses sadness and confusion.

The strong penguin is at a loss for words. He had not thought about his unborn. He feels stupid.

"I-I want our son or daughter to grow up in a world worth growing up in." he says simply, confident with his answer. She is unmoved. He continues, "If that means going to war, then I'm not about to turn down the chance."

"What is this war even about?" she wonders, "What could a bunch of penguins be fighting?"

"I... I don't really know..." he responds, ashamed.

"Then why do you want to fight it?" she says, throwing her flippers into the air. Her face expresses desperation.

The strong penguin knows why he wants to fight. He wants to do something with his life, but he feels like he should not tell her about it. He wants to go experience some excitement, action, adventure. She would think that would be stupid. Her expression shifts to one of understanding. He is surprised.

"If this is important to you," she says, "then you should go. But if our child is important to you, you should stay."

He looks into her eyes. For the first time, he knows what she is thinking. He pulls her into his chest before looking back into her eyes and speaking.

"I will return before our egg hatches," he says. He hopes she will smile. "What could happen?"
"What if you die?" She brings the point out quickly. Too hard, too fast. He is startled, and his face falls blank. She begins crying.

He doesn't respond, only stares into her eyes, lacking emotion.

"I love you, Manfredi," she says, "I don't want anything to happen to you." She sees the burning compassion, growing sensitivity, unlimited caring behind his eyes again.

"I promise you, Sarah," he says, "Nothing will happen to me."

She smiles, her face illuminated by the candle in the middle of the room. The flame extinguishes.

The world grows dark around her.

Manfredi thought about his failed promise. He thought about his lost love and his child that was never given a chance at life. He wished he never would have left them, never would have destroyed the bond that they shared. Manfredi wished he could go back in time and undo the past.

The strong penguin, now weak, lost, and tired, pulled his knees into his chest and began to weep.

AN/: I put a lot of emotion into this chapter, so it would be great if you told me what you think about it! Also, this is probally one of the most important chapters in the book. The title is finally starting to make sense, right? :\AN