You refuse to see, you're denying me

I keep wondering why
I'm still calling your name through my tears
Why have you waited to embrace me, my dear?
Cold is your silence, denying what is real…

~Within Temptation, "The Cross"

Bellatrix sat at the edge of the four-poster bed in the Malfoy Manor's guest room, her eyes staring blankly at the luxurious tapestry on one of the walls, her lips slightly parted, her mind being a complete mess of different thoughts that danced inside her head as if guided by an untamed wind. She couldn't believe it. It really couldn't be. She couldn't be pregnant. It was against all her plans, against everything she had chosen for her life… Since her early days at the Dark Lord's side she had decided that she wanted no children, ignoring Rodolphus's complaints and pleads for an heir and her mother's disgust and constant scolds. She had ignored them all, because she had wanted to devote her life in fighting for her master, and raising children was a huge obstacle to that. She hadn't intended to stay home, surrounded by babies, while the other Deatheaters were fighting for lord Voldemort's cause, she never wanted this. And yet, now her whole world was about to change, because of the thing that was inside her. It's not a thing, it's your baby, a tiny voice in the back of her head screamed, but she pushed it away. She didn't want this, for her it was not her baby, it was a thing that had absolutely no reason to be there.

She had no idea of who the father was. As she considered the possibilities, she realized each one of them scared her, none of them was pleasant or promising for a good future as a mother. If Rodolphus was the father, which she suspected wasn't that significant a likelihood, since she had only slept with him once before she found out about her pregnancy, then things wouldn't turn out pretty well for her. At least, they wouldn't turn out the way she wanted them too. She was afraid that Rodolphus would get all too excited if he was to have a child, an heir to carry the Lestrange name, and she did not want something like that to happen. She knew that, if her husband found out they were going to become parents, perhaps he would suddenly become all to loving and caring, maybe even more annoyingly than he already was, and of course, there would be no way to get rid of the baby, unless she made it look like an accident. And the alternate of doing something like that definitely wasn't appealing to her. But on the other hand, as well, spending the rest of her life as a dutiful wife and mother next to her husband was even more a repelling possibility for a future.

There were a lot more chances, she knew, that the father would be the Dark Lord. When she first made love with him –she knew that was not the exact term, but she could not bring herself to think of it as a meaningless way to relieve her master's stress and anger- she hadn't thought of the possibilities to get pregnant. Her mind was too full of the bliss she had brought herself in after sleeping with him to think of any chances like that. The thought had not crossed her mind, until the day she had felt sick while eating breakfast. She didn't even want to admit it, but she wanted to be sincere with herself. She knew that if the Dark Lord was really the father of the new life growing inside her, things would probably be much, much worse than if the baby was Rodolphus's. In the end, what she was going to lose by being a mother to her husband's child was her place in the battlefields for some period of time, but if lord Voldemort found out that she was pregnant to his child, then she knew things would not turn out good, at least not for her, and the baby. She knew he wanted no children, he wanted no heirs. Why would he? Bellatrix was well aware of the fact that her lord had expanded levels of magic beyond every other mortal creature like her, and she knew, or maybe even suspected, that he most definitely did not intend to die to leave an empire to a faithful son or daughter. And even if he did die someday, there would never be another one to be who he once was, not even his own child. No one would even be him, and therefore there was absolutely no meaning in producing an heir. But what would he do if he found out that Bellatrix was pregnant to his child? Maybe he would want to kill the baby, for he could see it even as a possible threat, and that would be Bella's death, as well. He would kill both her and the baby, or he would punish her for being so careless.

She tried to put her thoughts in an order, struggling to ease the sudden headache she felt. Fro once, she tried to think rationally, repeating to herself that it was not her fault, and therefore wouldn't get punished if it was the Dark Lord's child in the end. It was not her fault, how could she have predicted? Of course it's your fault, the voice returned, you did not bother to take any potions after, and here are the results! Are you blaming him now? Bellatrix shook her head. No, no, of course it was not her master's fault. It was entirely her responsibility, she was the one who had been careless, she should have taken her potion, the Dark Lord had noting to do with her foolishness. It was entirely her fault, and she should do something about it. But she still did not know who the father was.

Snapping her out of her thoughts, the door of the guest room opened suddenly and a wide-eyed Narcissa stormed in, walking quickly towards Bellatrix. She sat on the bed next to her sister and tried to take her hand in hers, as a means of comforting her, but Bellatrix pulled her own hand away. She kept her gaze locked on the brown carpet beneath her feet, biting her lower lip in an attempt to hold some tears from falling. She had no idea of why she was about to cry, but she should not let herself succumb in such weakness for a second time in a couple of days.

"Bella?" Narcissa's hesitant voice came from next to her. "What are the results?"

"It's…It's positive," Bellatrix murmured, desperately wanting to believe that it was not the truth. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh Bella…" Narcissa whispered, and Bellatrix felt her sister's small, fragile arm wrap almost protectively around her shoulders. This time, she did not make any move to avoid the contact, for she needed some comfort at the moment. "Hey, don't be like that," she hear Cissa's soft voice close to her face, and she knew her sister was now smiling, "this is happy news!"

"But I don't want it," Bellatrix whispered weakly, unable to stop a tear from falling.

"But why?" Narcissa asked, seeming determined to make her sister smile. "A baby is joy, Bella! You shouldn't be sad about something as wonderful as motherhood!"

Bellatrix didn't reply, but she knew Narcissa wouldn't give up too easily. But she wouldn't either. She did not want to become a mother, and Narcissa was not going to change that. In fact, it was not that she did not want the baby, even though she had never planned to be a mother in first place, but it was the future that scared her; what would happen if the Dark Lord was the father.

"Cissy," she muttered, turning her head around so she could look straight into her sister's eyes, "I don't want to be a mother, but it's not that… Not only that," she added bitterly.

"You still don't know who the father is?" Narcissa asked, now understanding her concerns and fears. Bellatrix shook her head slightly, not wanting to say anything else. "There is a way to know," Narcissa started hesitantly, and soon gathered courage as she saw Bella's face light up a little, "but you must need at least one of the possible fathers' contribution, let's say," she said, and immediately the faint smile on Bellatrix's face disappeared.

"I can't tell them!" she snarled. "Can you imagine what will happen if they-"

"As I said, only one's contribution is enough. You can simply tell Rodolphus, I believe things will be much easier with him."

"But I can't just go and tell him that I don't know who the father f my baby is, so I want his help to find out!" Bellatrix growled in frustration.

"Wait, Bella," Narcissa said in a sudden, "Rodolphus doesn't know about you and the Dark Lord, right?"

Bellatrix didn't say anything. What could she tell? She was definitely not going to tell her sister about what had happened between her and the Dark Lord and why it had happened, and of course Narcissa didn't have to find out about her encounter with her lord in front of her husband. But she could only tell a part of the truth. "He knows," she stated simply, and shook her head defiantly as she saw Narcissa was ready to ask a next question. "Don't ask how," she said sharply, "he just knows."

Narcissa sighed, but decided not to press it. "If he knows," was the only thing she said, "then it will be much easier to tell him, and ask for his help."

Bellatrix considered her options for a second. She had no other choice; she had to find out who the father was, and the only way was to convince either Rodolphus or her master to help her. She knew she had no chances with her lord, not that she was intending to tell him, anyway, so the option she had left was her husband. Perhaps he would get mad at her, but only for a while, since the likelihood of becoming a father would be much pleasant to him, and therefore would want to know if the life that was growing inside of Bella was from him. Yes, Rodolphus would surely help; all she had to do was to once again be a brilliant actress, or maybe just be herself and tell the truth. She only had to tell him to help her. She did need help, and therefore maybe no lies would be needed. But, just when she was going to open her mouth to tell Narcissa about her decision, she felt a sharp pain in her left forearm, and immediately everything was forgotten. Her master was calling for her, and everything else could wait.

A.N/ Heeeey :) I've updated! *bows to the applause from the excited audience*

I'm sorry this chapter is too short, it was originally much, much longer, but I decided to split the original chapter in two, so, here you go! (Next one will be longer, I promise!)

I also promise there will be Voldemort/Bella in the next one ;)

Once again, I want to thank everyone who supports me with this! Special thanks to those who have added this to their favs/alerts, and many, many, many, many, extra special thanks to all the reviewers! I love you guys :)

Also also, another special thanks to BeaFonesxx, whose messgaes literally make my day and help me so much :) Despite the fact that she threatens to murder me if I make the baby to be Rodolphus's.

Anyways, I hope you liked the new update, and I'll be back with a new one very soon, I promise (I have a clear next four days! Yay!)

xxx