For those of you who have reviewed, thank you so much. For those of you who haven't...I know where you live. Just sayin'. And you have very tasteful furniture. Including you, person who lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

PART FOUR

James Gordon, after a long and illustrious career with Gotham PD, knew to expect the unexpected. He'd already had one surprise this evening, delivered to his desk less than an hour earlier. And when Batman appeared on his rooftop, he got another.

His back was turned and he was in the midst of taking a deep drag off a cigarette when Batman said, "Jim." Now long used to his friend's sudden stealthy arrivals, he didn't even spill his lukewarm cup of coffee. At least, not until he turned around and noticed Batman wasn't alone.

Gordon choked on a puff of smoke at the sight of the reknowned Amazon Princess. He hastily flicked the cigarette aside and brushed his hand against his trench coat, wiping it clean. He accepted the hand Diana offered, awkwardly bowing in the process and even offering a light kiss against her knuckles.

If he'd been attentive to Batman, he would have received a third surprise that night. The sight of Gotham's Dark Knight offer a fleeting smirk of amusement.

"Your Highness," Gordon stuttered. "My apologies, I didn't expect royalty upon our rooftop. May I get you some coffee?"

Diana, ever used to such reponses, smiled kindly. "No, thank you, Commissioner. I appreciate your kindess. And please, I go by Diana."

"I must say, Your- Diana," he amended, "it is truly an honor."

"For me as well, sir. When Batman has spoken of you, it has been in the highest esteem."

"Really?" Both glanced towards Batman, who faced away from them, staring out into the city. Always focused, always attentive. Gordon decided to move on. "Perhaps we can exchange our favorite Batman stories another night?"

"Of course. I frequently find myself at events in Gotham. I'll seek you out."

Gordon blushed, pleased at the consideration, before turning to his long time colleague. "Seems an old friend has returned from the dead."

Gordon reached into his trench and removed a file, handing it to Batman, who took several moments to study. Even behind the white lenses, Gordon saw the incredulity reflected in his eyes.

"Impossible," was Batman's reponse.

"From what you told me, I thought so, too. But I have a couple other casefiles in my office that bear similar signitures."

"She died, Jim, because I couldn't save her. I watched it happen."

Gordon took a drink of what was left of his rapidly cooling coffee. "And yet, years in Gotham City have taught me the impossible happens a little more often than the word implies."

"Ahem. I realize I am but a guest here, but isn't it rude to speak in code before me?"

Gordon startled again, momentarily forgetting her presence. Batman, however, didn't seem fazed. Not that he ever did. His focus never wavering from his city, he said simply:

"Poison Ivy."

Thirty minutes later, Batman and Wonder Woman were at Jasmine Labs, a biological laboratory specializing in flora research. Specifically, they were checking the labs cryogenic freezer, a subzero containment unit used to house seeds of all sorts in long term storage.

Diana watched her companion work with rapt fascination. Working together in the Justice League, most of their interaction involved fighting superhuman or alien threats. While she'd been privy to examples of Batman's sterling intelligence and investigative skills beore, it was a rare treat to actually see him in his true element: that of World's Greatest Detective.

The League had seven founding members, six with extranormal powers. But it only took that first battle to realize that the seventh member, even without enhanced physical abilities, was every bit the equal to any of them. Unanimously considered by the rest to be their battlefield commander. And though Wally flippantly referred to Batman as the "brains of the operation", each knew it to be an accurate statement.

He was truly an amazing specimen. Beautiful, graceful, intelligent, and when need be, absolutely cunning and terribly ruthless. If there was ever a man an Amazon could understandably break their "No Man" policy for, it was this one. Not that she'd ever give another Amazon to claim him. As Wally would say, she called "dibs". Diana cocked her head. Then again, given Batman's attire, her Sisters might think him a wraith of Hades and not give him a chance to prove himself. Their loss.

"Are you going to stare at me all night, or are you going to do something useful?"

Diana blushed fiercely. Damn that man. "Of course. Sorry." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear shyly, nervously, and turned to... What should she do? She wasn't an investigator. She had no idea. "Um..."

"Check the computer."

"Right."

Diana sat upon a stool at the lab table and booted up the workstation desktop. As it powered to life, she took another moment to watch Batman work.

He busied himself checking the cryogenic chamber. Cross referencing samples with an inventory list, seeing what, if anything, was missing.

Diana began searching user records, alternately sneaking peeks at her companion. She knew he liked to work silently, intently. But such an occasion as this was too rare to pass up.

"So, Poison Ivy. She's one of your rogues?"

Batman gazed at her blankly, obviously because of her usage of the word "rogue". Diana shrugged. "It's what Wally says."

Batman grunted. "What else does Wally say?"

Diana was about to continue her line of thought on Poison Ivy when a thought tickled at the back of her mind. She instead focused on it, letting it grow. When it bloomed, she turned to Batman, mouth agape, the revelation hitting her suddenly. "You're jealous of him," she realized.

Batman snorted. "Of Wally? The man who spends his Saturday mornings watching cartoons and eating Cocoa Puffs straight from the box?"

"Fine, perhaps not jealous of him, but jealous of his relationship with me."

"Is there reason to be jealous of his relationship with you?"

"Eww! No! Wally's a sweet man, but he's like a brother to me."

"Then why would I be jealous of his relationship with you?"

If he thought his comment would wipe the smile from her face, he couldn't be more wrong. It only grew.

"Oh? So what you're saying is the relationship you would like to have with me isn't sibling in nature? Interesting."

Batman stilled. Beneath the kevlar and nomex, Diana saw his muscles tense. She may have been right on target, but his body language was screaming "Wonder Woman, drop it. We have work to do." Diana sighed, begrudgingly admitting he was right. She reluctantly returned the conversation to a more comfortable topic for him.

"What happened with her?"

And suddenly Batman relaxed, although anyone who didn't know him like Diana did might not have noticed. His posture relaxed slightly and he released a short intake of breath.

"Couple years ago, there was an incident on a cruise ship. There was an accident, the ship began to sink. There was a battle...and Ivy went down with the wreckage. I couldn't save her."

The emotion in his voice was palpable. Inside her chest, Diana felt a deep warmth. This was a quality she admired about Batman. Compassion, even for his enemies.

"You feel guilty," she stated.

Batman offered no response. Not on the subject of guilt, at least. He simply continued cross-referencing the cryovault and inventory list. But his voice slipped into "debriefing" mode as he began to relay pertinent date.

"Poison Ivy. Real name Pamela Isley. Holds a doctorate in biology, emphasis on botany, from the University of Seattle. Former professor of botany, Gotham State University. Formed her own independent company devoted to the study and preservation of floral life.

"She has no meta powers, save for resistence to poisons and toxins. However, she has a genius level intellect. She is cunning, ruthless, and fanatically devoted to the preservation of plantlife. Since turning to crime, she's emerged as one of the world's most powerful and feared ecoterrorists. Under no circumstance should she be taken lightly."

Diana nodded. Though her meta abilities were fairly minor, she knew better than to question Batman's judgment. She was but one of many foes that he'd honed his skills against in battle. And anyone who could challenge the Batman so consistently and profoundly was someone to take seriously.

He completed his check and made his way over to the workstation. His focus still on the inventory clipboard, he said, "From what I gather, there are nearly three dozens seed samples missing from the freezer."

Diana indicated the computer. "I searched the records accessed during the break-in. She pulled up topological maps, weather charts and patterns, soil sample readings."

Batman considered this. "The other robberies. More seed samples were taken. Plus tons of fertilizers and nutrients. Ivy...she's planning a massive project. Perhaps to create her own Garden of Eden."

"She accessed charts and data from around the world. How are we supposed to determine where she went?" Diana questioned.

"By ruling out where she didn't go," was the answer. Diana rolled her eyes at the cryptic response, but trusted Batman to know. "The seeds from every laboratory she's hit are indigenous to temperate climates. So we can rule out arctic or tropical climes."

His gauntleted arm brushed against her bare arm as he commandeered the keyboard. Though she didn't feel his skin, Diana felt the heat and shivered. If he noticed, which she didn't doubt since he was in detective mode, he made no mention. He simply pressed a few keys and scores of the search results disappeared.

"They all need a relatively common amount of annual rainfall to survive." A few more keystrokes, even more results disappeared. "Optimal growth requires a certain soil acidity."

More keystrokes. What began as over three hundred possible locations was narrowed to under thirty. Still a lot of ground to cover. Diana wondered if they might need League assistance to search all the areas. But Batman had one last parameter in which to narrow the field.

"And because it's Pamela, she'll want someplace where she can make a statement."

No keystrokes this time. Just ghostly white lensed eyes evaluating the list. After a few moments, he pointed at the screen. "There," he decisively said.

The area in question was a ten square mile patch of land twenty miles north of Gotham. Diana's eyebrows raised. "She would stay so close? Doesn't she fear your presence?"

"She anticipates my presence. The chance to kill me is half her fun."

Diana lightly snorted. Bad guys. Go figure. "Why this area?"

"Up until three years ago, that entire area was woodland. Then some developers purchased up the land, leveled the trees, and set up construction."

"Of what?"

"Condominiums and a strip mall."

For a moment, Diana wondered if Ivy truly was the bad guy in all this. "I suppose an ecoterrorist like Ivy wouldn't like that."

"No. She wouldn't."

Diana rose from her seat. "So now we go stop her, yes?"

"I do, yes."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Poison Ivy is my responsibility. I'll stop her."

She couldn't believe it. After everything they'd been through tonight, he was going to do this to her. Diana narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. Like hell he was.

"You're really going to do this to me?"

"Do what, Princess?"

"I mean pull this whole "I'm the Batman. Gotham is my responsibility. And I don't need any metas to help." act."

Batman bowed his head and sighed deeply. "Diana..."

She waved him silent. "Batman," she started. Seeing he had no intention of listening, she switched tacts. "Bruce." His head snapped up at mention of his true name. Before he could protest, she continued.

"I understand your policy, Bruce, I do. I respect what it means to you." She paused, searching for the right words. "I accept that our personal relationship may never become overly...personal. But I thought professionally that you viewed me as more than just a meta. I thought you trusted me." She raised her head, chin thrust forward defiantly. "If I'm mistaken, tell me. I'll return to Watchtower and leave you to this."

Diana met his white lensed gaze, refusing to back down or turn away. After several long moments, a low rumble sounded from Batman's lips.

"Rule one," he said. "I make the rules. Rule two, further rules will be issued when deemed necessary."

A grin threatened to overtake Diana's face. He was doing it. He was allowing her to help him, in Gotham, on a non-Justice League mission. She nearly hugged him, but knew that would be pressing her luck.

Instead, she mock saluted. "Yes, sir."

Batman glared and growled, both more for show than anything else. "Rule three. No smiling."

In an instant, Diana's smile disappeared, replaced by an overly stoic expression. Batman shook his head and made for the door. The instant his back was turned, the smile reappeared.

"Rule four. That includes smiling behind my back."

Diana burst into laughter. Sure enough, moments later, rule number five was issued.

Emerald Acres Condominiums. Row upon row of cookie cutter starter homes and apartments. Each indistinguishable from any other. To think, only eighteen months earlier, the entire area was encompassed by a dense forest and rolling pastures.

"I've never understand man's need to do...this," Diana said, gazing out the Batmobile window.

"You mean level a perfectly good piece of nature to build generic homes the color of vomit? I think, Princess, that to understand that desire would be the first symptom of madness."

"So that explains the Joker. Before his life of crime, he was a building contractor."

Batman turned to her, an incredulous look on his face. Diana merely stared straight ahead, perfectly serene and serious. Until her lip quirked upwards ever so slightly. And then a miracle happened.

Batman snorted in laughter.

Now it was Diana who stared incredulously, while Batman stared straight ahead. The sound only lasted a moment. So brief it might have been imagined. A single, solitary instance of mirth eminating from the Batman. Diana knew perfectly well it wasn't imagined.

"Twice in one night I've made the Batman laugh," she marveled. "That must be a record."

"I snorted. In amusement. Not the same as a laugh," he denied. Diana grinned. "Be mindful of rule three, Princess."

"Yes, Batman." She resumed gazing out the passenger side window. "Any ideas on where to start looking?"

Straight ahead, at the end of the street, a rooftop exploded off a house. From within, growing up and outwards, was an oak tree. It a matter of ten seconds, the tree was fully grown, it's thick branches creating a majestic canopy.

"There," Batman blandly intoned.

It took two minutes to work the Batmobile up the street. All around them, houses were leveled under the sudden onslaught of rapidly growing plantlife. Trees, vines, flowers. It was like watching time-lapsed photography.

A large mess of vines poured from a manhole in the street, blocking the Batmobile's path. Deciding to proceed on foot, Batman slid the canopy back and both leapt from the car.

With each passing moment, Emerald Acres was transforming into the Garden of Eden Batman mentioned. It was immensely beautiful to watch. And a large portion of Diana felt that this was justice, to return this land to nature. Diana suspected that in a moment of honesty, Batman would agree.

But regardless of personal feelings, while perhaps not a crime against good taste, it was against the law to wantonly destroy these homes. Besides, Ivy's last committment at Arkham ended in her absconding, which was a violation of the conditions of her sentencing. Thus, whether Diana agreed or not, they were duty bound to return her there.

The pair weaved their way down the street, closer to the house where the original oak tree grew. Batman touched his cowl, tabbing at an earpiece. "Alfred, come in." A few moments passed. Alfred obviously responding. "It's Poison Ivy." Another few moments. "I thought so, too, but she's back. Ready countermeasures, Crimson Protocols, Authorization Batman, Epsilon Gamma Stroke Red One. Execute." A moment, then, "Batman out."

"What was that about?" Diana asked.

"Never hurts to be prepared," Batman vaguely answered.

"And you call Clark the boy scout."

Suddenly a disembodied voice called out. Soft, seductive, full of Southern grace and charm. And positively spine chilling.

"Who dares enter my garden?"

The road cracked before them. Asphalt burst away as a massively thick vine pushed up and through. At the end, a giant bulb, which blossomed into a flower. In the center of which was Poison Ivy, as alluring as ever, in a slinky green dress and flowing red hair. She practically purred upon sight of Batman.

"Oh my, if it isn't the Dark Knight. Have you come a courtin', my dear?" she smirked. Her eyes then found Diana and her grin deepened. "Have you brought a housewarming gift to welcome me into the neighborhood?"

"Ivy," Batman flatly greeted, even nodding a bit to his foe in acknowledgement.

"Long time, no see. Miss me?"

"Like a bad rash," Batman smirked.

Ivy, from high upon her perch, scowled. "Oh, that's funny. Of course, I suppose I should expect such a comment from the man who didn't save me."

The smirk was gone, replaced by a deep guilt. "I tried to save you, Ivy. I wanted to save you."

"But yet you didn't. You failed me. Like every other man I've ever known."

It was then that Batman began to notice the physical differences in Ivy. Her skin was no longer the porcelain color he remembered, but rather tinted green. She even appeared to have darker green lines traversing her body, almost like veins.

"You've changed."

Ivy practically glowed in appreciation. "You noticed! Why, in fact, I have, Batman. Just because I spent three years laying low, doesn't mean I didn't keep busy."

She beckoned to her plants, and a thick vine rose up to greet her. The vine caressed along Ivy's body, until the tip rose up to eye level, where it received an affectionate pat on the "head".

"As you can see, Batman, I spent that time deepening my connection to Mother Nature. Chlorophyll nows runs through my veins. My connection to the Green is almost complete. Once my roots here take hold, I'll be able to mentally touch every plant on Earth. I will restore the balance that men like you work so hard to destroy. And this place, where man so recently wiped out my sisters, will become a new Eden."

Diana spoke to Batman, but her eyes never wavered from Ivy. "Is she usually this whiny?"

"Silence!" Ivy bellowed. "Or I shall take my pruning sheers to your tongue!"

"I'd like to see you try."

Ivy smirked. "Very well. Bring me the Amazon."

Suddenly it became abundently clear that Ivy wasn't the only immediate threat. Dozens of people appeared, men and women alike. Dressed in hard hats and work clothes. The very construction workers of the site. They began advancing on Batman and Wonder Woman.

"What's happening?" Diana asked her companion.

"It's Ivy. She creates synthetic pheromones. Uses them to enthrall her victims. They're totally loyal to her."

"Lovely. Any other surprises?"

"Watch out for the plants. She can manipulate them."

"Manipulate how?"

Diana promptly received her answer. From high atop her blossom perch, Ivy reached out for Diana. In response, her pet vine shot forth and wrapped around Diana's legs, jerking her to the ground.

"Diana!" Batman shouted.

He could only watch as the vines dragged her away, towards the clutches of Poison Ivy. But he was helpless to pursue. Ivy's enthralled army was closing in. So he did the only thing he could.

"Diana!" he called again, demanding her attention. Though being roughly dragged over asphalt, she looked back just in time to spot the batarang Batman whipped towards her. She snatched the object out of the air.

From his utility belt, Batman took a few smoke pellets and tossed them to his left. The marbles exploded, releasing their smoke, temporarily blinding and disorienting nearly a dozen would-be attackers. He then went to work on those to his right.

Fortunately for Batman, while the construction workers were completely under Ivy's control, they acquired no extra strength or abilities. They were simply men and women. Which is why he refrained from any maneuvers that might result in long term damage. He powered through the hordes, quickly and efficiently.

Diana plunged the pointed wing of the batarang into the vine wrapped around her, then cut along the length, opening a terrible gash. Green fluid flowed like blood, and the vine released its hold on her, retreating back to Ivy.

Enraged, Ivy screamed, "Don't you hurt my babies!"

Beneath Diana's feet, the ground began to rumble. The asphalt suddenly exploded and a massive vine emerge, coiling around the Amazon like a python. Despite her massive strength, Diana was unable to break free, the vine squeezing the breath from her lungs.

Despite his superior skills, Batman absorbed a few lucky hits. Knocked to the ground, he found a number of vines wrapping around his limbs and hoisting him into the air.

Trapped in Mother Nature's embrace, Diana's eyes found Batman's. Whatever panic she felt rising inside was squashed by his calm demeanor. The Batman didn't panic, so neither would she.

Ivy hummed in delight. "I had rather hoped this night would end with Batman stepping into my trap. But to have the vaunted Amazon, too? I could keep you both!"

A tiny vine stroked at Ivy's chin in a contemplative gesture. "Then again, you've proven quite adept at escaping my traps, Batman. It's probably too risky to keep you alive. The Amazon, however..."

Batman watched as the vine coiled around Diana pulled the Amazon up to Ivy's blossom. "Mmm," Ivy purred. "Lucky for you, I'm in support of powerful women. I think you might have a place in my new Garden. What do you say?"

Diana somehow summoned up the breath to choke out, "Go to Hell."

Ivy laughed. "Sounds like agreement to me. What say we seal the deal then? I know a handshake is customary, but I'm an old fashioned kind of girl."

Despite her best efforts to resist, Diana found her lips mashed against Ivy's. With that kiss, Batman felt his stomach drop. For he knew that with that contact, Diana, Princess of the Amazons, was falling under the thrall of Poison Ivy.

And when Diana's blue eyes flashed green, Batman knew things were about to get much worse.

END PART

Oh yeah. How 'bout them apples? On the next episode: Will Ivy enjoy her new main squeeze? (Get it? The vines are squeezing Diana. That stuff is funny.) Tune in for Batman vs. Wonder Woman: Smackdown Edition! Next time on Doctor Who! I mean, Justice League.