Sorry for the delay everyone, life has been a little hectic! I'm having to use an old laptop so if the font or the format is a little different that'll be why.
Thanks to everyone who have read and reviewed so far. I've written an extra long one to make up for the wait. Hope you enjoy it! Many thanks! Tj. xx
Finding out just how much she meant to Maura had given Jane an impenetrable high all day. No childish taunts from the guys, nor the endless paperwork completing homicide's involvement with the baby Jane Doe case had managed to put a dent in her mood… until now.
"Oh! Janie, I spoke to this real nice officer who hinted he was interested in you."
She knew immediately that letting her good mood sway her into taking her coffee break with her mother was a drastically bad idea. This could go one of two ways; she'd either be left with another blind date on her hands and the turmoil of how it would affect her relationship with Maura, or she'd finally have it out with her mother in the middle of the whole precinct, and be left to struggle with the guilt afterwards. Bad news either way.
"I don't wanna hear it, Ma."
"But he was real nice Janie, and tall," Angela says this raising her eyebrows. "He'd suit you, you know? You'd feel real protected under his arm..."
"I don't need protecting Ma. I can protect myself." She lifts her jacket. "You see this?" And points to her gun. "I have all the protection I need, now let it go and get me the coffee I came here for… please."
Her mother huffs and sulks over to the coffee machine, every movement displaying her unhappiness with her daughter.
"I just don't understand you…"
"Ma, for god's sake, drop it."
She was trying not to raise her voice. She really didn't want to lose it in front of the uni's scattered around the cafe.
"Well, I'm sorry! But you gotta get a life, Janie! One that's outside of your job…"
"My life is my job, Ma! I like it that way!"
Frustration began to surge through her body.
"Don't be ridiculous!" Angela lids the coffee cup but won't hand it over, effectively, holding it at ransom. "How are you ever gonna have a family of your own…"
"Gimme the coffee, Ma!"
"… if all your doing is working all the time? I mean you don't even have time to go on a date…!"
"Ugh! That's it." Her hands flair on either side of her face. "I've had it. Either gimme the coffee or I'm leaving." And wraps her arms around her defiantly.
"Why you gotta do that? I'm your mother!"
Jane is suddenly feeling very tired, her emotional high is lost. The only conciliation is when she sees Maura walking by the cafe windows and she hurriedly waves her inside. Angela meanwhile continues.
"I'm just worried about you. You work yourself too hard, you don't have time for anyone else. I'm not trying to…"
"Run my life? Are you sure, Ma? Cause it sure as hell feels like it."
Maura hesitantly closes in and Jane grabs her wrist, remaining focused on her mother. She takes a breath, and her first step in a million to come, as she fights for her current and unknown relationship. Her voice is low for Maura and Angela's ears only. "You don't get to do this anymore. I'm a cop, and I'm proud to be a cop. You don't have to like it, or understand it, but you do need to accept it. Now give me my coffee, or I'm walking."
Her mother's jaw drops and guilt settles in her stomach. If it weren't for the reassurance provided by Maura with a slight brush of hand against her own, Jane would feel certain it would consume her. She looks to the cup her mother's still clinging to and drowns in her attachment. Unfortunately, Angela notices and frowns.
"Why you gotta hold onto her like that?"
"Oh, for the love of god!" And seeks solace in the ceiling, stamping her feet. "Just give me my coffee woman!"
"Maura would never speak to me like that! Or her mother! Would you Maura?"
"Actually, with all due respect Angela, I think you're mistaking Jane's need for personal boundaries as an affront to you, but this is all very normal. The most difficult of the parental instincts is the push and pull of letting go once the child reaches adulthood…"
Jane squeezes Maura's wrist in motions of gratitude, but again is distracted by the melodrama that is her mother. It's as if Maura hadn't spoken at all... as far as Angela was concerned.
"Honestly Janie, let her go! She's a lady, not one of your criminals!"
She smiles. "You're right Ma, she is a lady," and glances to her left to admire the view. "A lady who will leave if you don't shut-up! Now, I need to talk to her, so are we done? Have you finished interfering in my private life or do I need to set up camp?"
"Oh, for god's sake here! Have your coffee!" Angela slams it down, all thankful for the lid keeping its contents in place.
"Thanks!"
"About time." One of the uni's pipe up from the background.
"Oh shut it, Vasquez!" Jane yells, taking a much-needed drink of her sought after beverage. Once she settles, feeling more in control of herself, she ducks her head to meet her mother's eyes. "I love ya, Ma… you know that, right?"
Angela huffs. "Yeah, well, I might just love you too," she mumbles, pouting like a child.
"Good. Now serve the nice officers and don't go setting me up with any of them, okay? No more blind dates. You got that?"
"Fine!" she answers in her usual flair before turning to the next in line. "And what can I get for you today?" As if nothing has ever happened.
Both Jane and Maura creep out, heading to the elevators, shifting to hold hands as the doors enclose them.
Only two hours later, Jane hits the elevator button hard, her frame once again marred by frustration.
"What a fuckin' day," she mumbles, "Damn it, Korsak!"
It was the second time today her tension's been caused by those closest, not some creepy perp she doesn't give a crap about. She shakes her head, knowing full well who she's really mad at. Herself. She has snapped at the one person she never wanted to upset, and now she was racing down to the morgue to apologise.
Korsak had been ranting about his most recent ex, and her accusations regarding the death of their short lived marriage.
"Says I need to see a shrink. Can you believe that? Says I drink too much, eat too much crap and work too hard. What the hell else am I gonna do when I'm drowning in this filth!" he says, slamming a case file down hard on his desk.
What should have turned into a brush off of reassurance became an intense discussion about the health hazards of letting off steam. Drinking, of course, being the most hazardous, and the conversation was lead by none other than Dr Isles, who had come in mid-torrent.
"Shouldn't have said it… you fuckin' idiot…" Jane mumbles as the elevator shifts, leaving her stomach far behind. It makes her dizzy and she feels sick, but she knows it's more of a side effect to having ruined something so perfect and so new.
What Jane shouldn't have said was… "You know, you're not helping."
"I'm not?" questioned the ME.
"No. You know as well as the rest of us how shit-house this job can get. You need to cut us some slack and lay off. You and Korsak's ex-wife."
"Well then, I had better take my leave. Excuse me, detectives. Have a good night," and as she left, Maura looked to her. "Jane," was her parting goodbye.
Everything was spoken in that one word, her name slapping her in the face, just as she deserved.
"Fuck!" Jane hits the metal box as she exits, ignoring the pain and walking into the morgue to find it empty. Her heart pounds and she worries that Maura was so angry she's packed up and left for home.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," she chants in quick succession, relieved when she finds her seated in her office. Jane knocks politely hoping rejection isn't Maura's first reaction.
"What do you want, Jane? I thought you needed me to cut you some slack. I can hardly do that when you follow me to my office now, can I?"
She attempts to focus on her paperwork but it all too quickly it becomes an act. Her eyes glazing over, hoping above all that Jane doesn't call her out on it.
"I'm real sorry, Maur…" Her voice is tired and weary, matching the one Maura heard in the early hours that same morning, when Jane had just met Lucia, the young mother of their Jane Doe. She looks up immediately and sees heart ache.
"What is it, Jane? Did I really upset you or is there something else? I realise I have a habit of over extending but…"
"No, Maur…" The detective comes closer, waving her arms to wipe out the thought immediately. "I just… I don't know… after the run in with Ma, I've just been…" She looks away, is out of focus. "To be honest I just feel like crap."
It troubles Maura that Jane still feels the need to hide her vulnerability from her. She stands and removes the existing barrier of her desk from between them.
"I know there was more to your altercation with Angela than I witnessed, but you didn't seem willing to talk about it earlier."
"I know…" Jane crosses her arms out of habit and bites her lip. Maura mirrors her stance before her. "I just... hate yelling at her, y'know? It might seem like it's my standard persona with Ma, but it's not something I enjoy, ever..."
"It was very intense, I admit that, but you were far from yelling, Jane." Maura's hands leave their huddle from around her own waist, and grip onto Jane's forearms instead. It was a solid hold, hoping to ground her, wanting to remove all uncertainty surrounding her actions.
"Well, regardless... she was trying to set me up again," and cocks her head, "Surprise!" And they allow a small chuckle between them, keeping it light. "And then she went on to tell me about what's best for me, neither of which was my job, or you for that matter… not that she knows about us, or what's happening between us…" Jane sighs. "I'm just so tired of everyone being in my business, Maur... and I took it out on you." She holds onto Maura, onto her sides. "I'm so sorry I was such an idiot."
"Well… I may have… ventured a little too close to lecturing when speaking of the dangers of binge drinking."
"Oh, really?" She's relieved when Jane's smile returns. "Are we admitting fault, Dr Isles?" Their bodies sway a little, as they tease.
"No," Maura says, shaking her head, laughing when Jane does the same. "Well... not entirely." Making Jane shift direction, nodding instead, with Maura soon to follow. They laugh a little and share in one of their trademark smiles designed for comfort from afar. Unfortunately, they're both aware of the fact the office door is ajar, leaving their time open to interruption at any moment.
"Have dinner with me tonight?" The question comes so easily for Jane.
"Of course." And then relinquishes her hold on the brunette, not trusting herself to maintain their gentle appreciation of each other. Maura sits behind her desk again, and says, "Unless you wish to blow off some steam with your colleagues instead?"
Jane chuckles. "Nice one, but I'd rather blow off steam with you at my place, than in some seedy cop bar with cheap wine."
"I look forward to it, Jane…" she says, flashing her a smile,"…to you and your tension."
Her body reacts immediately, having just been slam-dunked by Maura's sensuality. Jane laughs nervously, never really experiencing this side of her other half yet. "Wow… um… that's just…"
"What?" Maura can't contain her smile.
"Okay, stop that!" Jane points at her, desperate to control her blushing.
"Stop what?" She wiggles innocently. "Honestly Jane…" And giggles.
"That! That right there! You are not innocent Maura Isles! I know you know what you're doing! You and that cute little dimple of yours..."
Maura can't help herself now, and is openly laughing. "Jane! I didn't do anything...!"
"Nope! Nu-uh!" she says still pointing. The stunning detective feeling all kinds of flustered now. "You keep that little vixon to yourself, or I can't be held accountable…"
"Accountable for what?" she pushes, raising her eyebrows.
Jane blushes further at the thought. "Oh My God!" And smacks herself in the head. "That's it, I'm going!" Whacking the door frame as she leaves.
"Don't hold back on my account, detective," Maura says calmly under her breath. She turns back to her paperwork and admires the slow building hum coursing through her body, from the waist up.
Please review. Tj. :)