The Speed of Darkness
Chapter 42 – Delusion
THE NIGHT WAS DARK AS THEY APPROACHED THE PENGUIN CITY.
They had been walking for what seemed like it could have been days, and Manfredi could hear grunts of exhaustion from the animals around him. Marlene and Julien were shivering as they trudged through the snow, Private was swaying back and forth with exhaustion, and Rico struggled to keep his eyes open. The only two of the group that still seemed to be on high alert were himself and Skipper.
It had been dark for a long while, but Manfredi had lost track of the hours. He knew that Antarctica during this time of the year had nights of never ending darkness, broken by sunlight only for a few graceful hours. He had grown up here, and had been accustomed to the four weeks of blackness signaling that winter had arrived. That had been long ago, though, and he had forgotten what it was like to yearn for the slightest amount of sunlight.
"Kowalski's signal was stationary inside the city for a long time," Skipper told Manfredi, the light from the GPS screen illuminating his face. "They must have rested there. They're on the move again now."
"They must have used the ruined city as shelter from the night winds," affirmed the robot-penguin.
Skipper nodded, and then looked at thePenguin City, which was now coming over the horizon. Manfredi was cautiously avoiding letting his eyes meet with the sight of the destroyed city. He remembered the great feeling of grief that had surged through his body when he had laid eyes on his destroyed hometown the first time. It took his breath away, and his heart skipped so many beats he thought for sure it was going to stop. He had felt dizzy and faint upon looking at the smoldering heaps that were once the homes of his friends and neighbors.
His mind had raced, wondering if there was anything he could do. The faces of his friends flashed through his mind until he remembered his fiance. Sarah had been shot in the head outside of their ice bungalow. He remembered her lifeless eyes, full of fear. He remembered how she clutched the smashed ivory shell of his child. He remembered how the precious, life-giving fluid seeped out of it and onto her feathers...
He shook his head as his organic eye began to well up with tears. He had never given her a proper burial, but he knew her body would be long gone by now. He wouldn't have to worry about witnessing that tragic picture again. At least it wouldn't happen outside of his memories.
"Are you going to be okay?" asked Skipper suddenly, but quietly. Manfredi looked up at his ex-teammate and noticed the concerned look on his face. "We can always walk around, if you can't handle going back through there."
Manfredi thought about this option for a moment. He would be able to avoid the scene that had plagued his nightmares ever since he had first witnessed it. It was awfully tempting, but Manfredi knew that they needed to rest. There was no shelter nearby, and the city was the only place that would give them refuge from the wind. Besides, his sanity was all that he had left. If he lost it upon reentering his hometown, he knew that there was no sense in continuing fighting. He needed to face those memories again, and he looked up at the city.
"No," he answered Skipper slowly, "we will go through the city."
The flat-headed penguin still looked concerned, but nodded in approval. He announced the plan to the other animals, and they picked up the pace in hopes of being able to get away from the biting wind.
Manfredi, meanwhile, still had his eyes locked onto the city. It was not as he had remembered. The last sight he had of the decimated town was not one he had wanted to relive, but what laid before him was not what he was expecting. What he had seen upon leaving Antarctica for the last time was once tall, proud snow and ice constructs smashed to pieces. He saw smoldering craters where explosives had detonated. He saw hundreds of bodies littering the ground, the blood tinting the snow dark red. He saw Gauss rifle cartridges strewn about, emptied during the massacre. His once proud city was nothing more than a wreckage.
The city before him, though, had been rebuilt. Many of the structures had been reconstructed on top of their old foundations, and most of them out of the same ice and snow that the previous ones had been built out of. As they approached and passed some of the outlying buildings, Manfredi noted the road before him. He had expected the carved ice to be coated with two years of drifting snow, but it was as if it had been cleared recently. Not all of the buildings were rebuilt, and groups of them remained in shambles, but Manfredi couldn't shake the feeling that something had been hard at work here.
After walking a short ways, they approached the town center. Penguin City was not very large, and the town square had been the gathering place for any sort of meeting or party. Some of the tallest and most beautiful ice structures at one point had lined its sides, but now they were hastily constructed igloos. From the town square several narrow, ice-paved streets diverged into a star shape. Along those roads were more buildings. It was arranged in such a way so that when standing in the center of the square, one could see almost all of the houses in the town.
"Something's not right," came Skipper's voice. He looked on edge as he slipped the GPS back into the pack. "Last I remember this place was completely destroyed."
"That was a long time ago, wasn't it Skipper?" asked Marlene. "The survivors probably rebuilt."
"There were no survivors," answered Manfredi quickly. He had checked thoroughly when he, Skipper, and Johnson had entered the city those two long years ago. Not a soul had remained after the Penguin Army moved through.
"Yeah," agreed Skipper, "and if anyone else moved in to rebuild, where are they?"
"Creepy," wheezed Rico.
"Stay on your guard, everyone," instructed Skipper.
Unlike the others around him, Manfredi remained calm. He was confused. He had checked, there were no survivors. He was sure of it. That didn't explain how the city was being maintained and how the structures had been rebuilt, though. He diverted from the group as they walked to a particularly large, refurbished structure and began walking down one of the narrow pathways.
The others didn't seem to notice him as they disappeared behind the corner of the building. He continued waddling down the pathway. He would never forget where his home had been. He had constructed it himself, carving out the ice blocks it had been built out of.
He stood in front of it, the wind gently shuffling his feathers. He shivered slightly as he pictured Sarah laying lifeless in the snow outside of it. He wiped the thought from his memory and attempted to focus on the house itself.
It had been rebuilt to some extent, but it was nowhere near what it had been when he lived in it. Whoever had attempted to recreate it had missed several key details. It was more of a dome-shaped igloo now than the cube he had constructed. He pushed forward, and upon pushing a hanging cloth door out of the way, entered the hut.
The nostalgia hit him like a ton of bricks. Even though the house had looked different on the outside, it looked almost identical from the inside. Everything was in place. The ice-block kitchen counter, the driftwood table. He envisioned Sarah standing at the counter, chopping a fish, his unhatched egg held warmly between her feet. It wasn't until he heard a slight whimper that he was torn from his flashback.
He peered beneath the table and saw a terrified looking ball of down feathers. It was cowering, emitting the tiny whimpering he had heard. He looked at the penguin innocently, and it averted its eyes from his own. They were emerald green. Sarah had those eyes.
He reached a flipper under the table, but the baby penguin slid away from it. He wasn't trying to torture it, but it fascinated him. The deep green eyes, the stout face, the short beak. It was exactly as he imagined his child might look like. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to feel its soft down feathers run between his own. He wanted to lift it and snuggle it into his chest. He wanted to hear it whisper, "I love you, daddy."
He reached forward and grabbed the penguin. It struggled and began to cry. He lifted it and it began wailing. He tried to hold it to his chest and it kicked him. He set it down as gently as he could and it raced out of the building.
Was that... his own? Had it somehow survived? He wasn't sure. Part of him wanted to believe any sliver of hope that his son or daughter had survived the assault. He wanted to believe that he hadn't lost everything. That there was still something besides revenge that was worth fighting for. The rational side of him spoke a different story, though. He had seen the egg, smashed to pieces. His first-born had never hatched. It had died without inhaling its first breath of oxygen, without seeing what its mother or father looked like. That baby penguin had not been his child. It had merely been a coincidence.
As Manfredi turned to leave the home, Sarah's figure faded in at the kitchen counter again. This time, a small baby penguin ran up to her and tugged on her feathers. She bent over and handed it a piece of fish. She then looked directly at Manfredi, straightening up.
"What could have been," she said to him, her voice nothing more than a mere whisper.
"I'm... sorry," Manfredi responded as the apparition flickered in front of him. He fell to his knees in the darkness and wiped a tear off his cheek.
"It's too late for sorry," said the apparition.
"No, no it's not!" Manfredi slammed his fists on the ground. The baby penguin pushed itself deeper into into its mother's feathers.
"We were going to raise a family."
"I wanted to raise a family..."
"No. You wanted glory, fame, adventure. Not me. Not us," Sarah's figure argued. Manfredi felt her words cut deep into him. He considered ending it all right now. Ending the pain, the sorrow. If he had his knife, he might have just plunged it deep into his own chest.
"I tried my greatest to save you..." as Manfredi choked out his words, Sarah's figure faded away. He grasped for it as it disappeared. He hoped to feel the warmth of her feathers against his own. He didn't want her to go. He huddled on the floor, sobbing.
He looked up again after a short while and saw the figure of his target. His blind eye was staring directly down into the cyborg's robotic one.
"You really should not have told me about your family," it said, simply. It laughed as an egg appeared in its flippers. "Maybe then I wouldn't have purposely sought to kill them."
"Shut up!" cried Manfredi in rage. He swung his flipper, but it went right through his target's floating form. It laughed at him.
"Like always, your loved ones suffer the consequences of your actions."
His heart rate accelerated, Manfredi raced out of the house. Behind him he heard the sound of an egg splattering against the wall, and his gut tied itself into a knot. He knew coming here was a mistake. His vision was blurry from his tears as he raced out into the cold night air.
Suddenly a deep voice spoke to him. He didn't hear it though, and kept running. He barreled into another penguin standing just outside the house, sending it toppling over. He himself rolled several feet in the snow and was disorientated by the fall. He stood up after regaining his bearings and looked around him.
A group of around ten penguins were standing in a group around him. On some of their faces was anger, some fear, but mostly confusion. The small, green-eyed penguin he had found in the house was clutched into one of their legs, shivering in the arctic air.
He looked at the penguin. It again turned its face away from him. He thought back to Sarah's words. What could have been. Maybe, what could have been could still be.
The robotic-penguin stepped forward, eyes locked on the baby penguin. An emperor penguin stepped forward and puffed out its orange chest in defense of the move. He was considerably taller than Manfredi, and towered over him. His brow was arched with anger, and his beak was clenched tightly shut.
"Come any closer to this one and I'll feed you to the lion seals," he spoke. his voice was deep, commanding. This was the largest penguin of the group, and the one that Manfredi had barreled into.
Manfredi ignored the larger penguin's warning and stepped closer. It was too close for the emperor, though, and he shoved Manfredi away. Manfredi stumbled backward, loosing his balance. Several of the other penguins stepped forward threateningly, mumbling angry things.
"You come here and harass our children," said the large penguin. "I suggest you leave before you start any more trouble."
"I just wanted to hold him," returned the cyborg, feeling some anger building up inside of himself. He clenched his flippers into tight balls.
The emperor took a step closer to Manfredi, then warned, "He is not yours to hold. Now leave."
Manfredi was angered by this statement. He felt as though the baby penguin was his child, his first-born that he had lost. Somehow it had survived, and he was going to rescue it. He had to rescue it. All that stood between it and him were these penguins.
"You obviously speak the language," announced the large penguin, "so stop playing stupid and get out of here!"
Manfredi scowled at this, taking a step forward. This caused the rest of the penguins to ready themselves for a fight and they all balled their flippers. Manfredi didn't care about them, though, he only cared about the baby penguin and the large emperor standing between him and it.
The large penguin was no longer an emperor, though. It was now a short, round, flat-headed penguin. A penguin with a blind right eye. A penguin he hated.
Without warning he charged at the emperor and launched himself into the air. With a swift kick across the face he sent the large penguin to the ground before the other penguins could react. When they did, however, Manfredi was ready.
The first one charged at him stupidly, swinging its flippers around wildly. He tripped it, and smacked it across the face with his flipper as it fell. The second bird was smaller and he delivered a swift chop to its gut. It tumbled over itself, out of breath. The third attempted to kick him, and he grabbed its foot. Using it as leverage he flipped the penguin over itself and it landed on top of another penguin.
The other birds fell in similar ways. They were strong, but slow and without any sort of combat experience or training. Manfredi took advantage of several opening, and within a few minutes, they all lay on the cold ice.
The largest penguin had gotten up again, though. He had a small trickle of blood running down his beak from Manfredi's powerful kick. The determination and anger he had shown before was no longer apparent. He looked scared as he attempted to shield the small bird from the maniacal penguin approaching him. Manfredi's flippers and beak quivered from rage, and he was ready to strike. His target was weak now, and all he had to do was deliver one quick chop to its neck...
"Manfredi, stop!" cried a familiar voice from behind him. He whipped around and saw five familiar animals racing up the street to him. Skipper had been the one who called, and he was waving his flippers around like mad.
Manfredi felt dizzy as he turned back around. The emperor penguin across from him no longer looked like his target. He looked like an innocent emperor penguin, with blood smeared on his face. The other penguins Manfredi had beaten to the ground stirred around him. He heard moans of pain. He saw one penguin with a chunk of his beak now missing.
Had he really done this? Had he really attacked all of these penguins?
Skipper had caught up to Manfredi and grabbed his flippers, attempting to hold him back. However, Manfredi had already fallen limp and did not struggle. Skipper realized this and released him. Manfredi stared at the ground, wondering about the baby penguin.
"Are you guys okay?" asked Marlene, approaching the only penguin still standing. As she stepped closer the penguin turned defensively away from her.
"Stay back," he said, his voice quavering, "I'm warning you!"
"We're not here to hurt you," offered Private, raising his flippers to show that he was not a threat.
Some of the penguins were picking themselves up from the snow, smoothing their ruffled feathers. Manfredi glanced for a moment at all of them. They had deep scowls on their faces. The emperor with the missing chunk of beak gingerly touched it with his flipper.
"That's what the last group of you penguins who came through here said."
"'Last group of penguins'?" repeated Skipper, curiously.
"We tried to make peace with them, but then one of them shot my brother for no reason," it explained.
"Don't worry, we're not like those penguins. In fact, we're trying to catch up to them. They've captured one of my friends, and we're trying to rescue him."
"Why in the world did that freak attack us then?" came one of the penguin's voices.
Manfredi was still frozen to the ground. He wasn't sure why a sudden, overwhelming sense of fear had overtaken him, but he was unable to speak. Skipper continued.
"This place is Manfredi's old hometown. He might have seen you as a threat to it."
"A threat?" scoffed the largest emperor, "we've been living here for over a year. This place was a complete wasteland before we came and fixed it up. The only threat here is you!"
"We're not here to fight!" insisted Marlene.
"Yeah," Skipper agreed. "We only came here to get out of the wind for a while and rest. We've been walking for a long time. I'm telling you, we're all allies here."
"Maybe so," nodded the large penguin, "but that robot thing isn't my ally."
Manfredi couldn't help but feel guilty for what he had done. He thought back to the pigeon in the ally, and how he had lost all common reason. He remembered how the pigeon had turned into his target, just as the emperor penguin had. At least this time Skipper had prevented him from killing another innocent. Still, damage had been done. He'd never see that baby penguin again after tonight.
The large penguin continued, "You're welcome to stay, but he must leave."
Skipper arched his brow. "Manfredi's a good friend of ours. He stays with us."
"Then you all must leave," the large penguin answered. His face looked unmoving. Manfredi understood though. He wouldn't trust anyone after being attacked by them, either. He knew that he had made a huge mistake. He had lost his sanity. Without that, he was nothing. Nothing but a cold blooded killer. Coming back into the Penguin City had been a mistake, and staying here would be a bigger one. He decided to speak.
"I will leave," announced. Manfredi. The large penguin smiled slightly at the comment. "I will be just outside the city. I will return at first sunlight so that we may continue."
"Are you sure, Manfredi?" asked Skipper. Manfredi could tell that the leader knew Rico, Private, Marlene, and Julien were tired and needed a place to rest. Marlene and Julien, in particular, might freeze to death if they didn't get out of the wind for a while. Manfredi, on the other hand, could put up with the nighttime cold.
The robot-penguin nodded, and began walking away from the group. As he walked, he glanced at the baby green-eyed penguin.
What could have been.
~Author's Note: I hope i'm not overplaying the whole "Manfredi is insane" routine. I do realize he has flipped out in many other chapters, but I felt it was necessary to show how he would react upon returning to his hometown. I think it adds further depth to his character. Though I do switch POVs between Manfredi, Marlene, Skipper, and Alice, Manfredi is the focal point of the entire story. Let me know what you thought about it, please!