Speed of Darkness
Chapter 57 – Forgiveness

THE AIR WAS COOL.

It gently caressed Skipper's face as it blew gently by him. It was cool and comforting, nothing like the icy winds that had ruffled his feathers in Antarctica. It furthered his already relaxed state as he looked up at the full moon shining down on him. The stars that dotted the sky around it were so bright, unlike in New York.

He dangled his feet over the side of the boat, listening to the waves gently sloshing up against the side of the craft. He leaned gently against the metal guard rail. This was the most calm he had been in the last month. A nice, quiet night. A calm ocean before him and nothing to worry. The only thing Skipper thought could make it better was a cup of his favorite fish coffee.

The leader bird thought about New York as he sat on the edge of the boat. He thought about the Central Park Zoo, with all of its habitats and guests. He realized just how much he missed it. He remembered that time long ago when he had told Manfredi that he would get stuck up in a zoo and regretted it. In the zoo, the worries of the world seemed to be non-existent. Everything inside those brick walls was peaceful. Nothing trying to kill him. Skipper missed that, and couldn't wait to return.

They'd be home soon, though. The boat they were on now was far faster than the one they had hijacked to go to Antarctica in the first place. Skipper estimated no longer than a week before they set foot on those familiar shores once again. It was going to be a week of rest. He gently felt the makeshift cast that encased his broken wing. It was also going to be a week of healing.

Skipper yawned as he gently stretched his flippers over his head. It was late now, and Skipper had completely lost track of the time he had been sitting at the bow of the craft, looking towards the future that lay before him. All of the other animals had long since gone to sleep. He wasn't tired though. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the antechamber. About Private, Manfredi, Issac, Sarge, Kowalski.

He had known that friendly blood would be spilled. He had told all of his team that the night they had left New York for Antarctica. Still, he found the events that had happened hard to accept. He knew that it wasn't his fault, but yet he wanted to take the blame for it all. Julien's possible brain damage, Kowalski's betrayal, Private's coma. Manfredi's death. He knew none of these things were his fault. Sarge had done it. He still felt connected, though.

He shook his head slightly, recalling that time he had felt responsible for Manfredi and Johnson's deaths after the penguin base had exploded. He was done blaming himself for events that had transpired around him. He didn't want to feel like a failure anymore. What had happened, happened. Even though his team had made sacrifices, he knew their actions had been from their own hearts.

Julien protecting Marlene, Rico attacking Thurgo, Alice freeing Skipper and Manfredi, and Private jumping in front of the energy blast to save Manfredi's life had all been examples of that. They had been fighting to defend themselves, prevent Sarge from gaining the power he desired, and save the world. Not just because Skipper had told—no, asked—them to, but because they knew it was the right thing. Everyone who was in the antechamber those few days ago had heart. Skipper felt a slight smile pull at the edges of his beak.

He had already blamed himself once for Manfredi's death. He wasn't about to do it again. He had seen it in the cyborgs eyes as he jumped on the Sun, allowing the rest of them to escape. He wanted to save them. Wanted to protect them, so they could escape safely. Skipper knew the robot was more than happy to sacrifice himself so they would. With Sarge dead, he'd have nothing left to live for.

Skipper knew that, and he wasn't going to blame himself. Not this time.

It was hard not to, though. Kowalski's betrayal, which had lead to Skipper being bound when the others needed his help to fight off Sarge and his henchmen, had a direct result of his actions. Kowalski would have never done those things if Skipper had just told him what was going on from the first place. The bird was insanely smart, and grew very confused, angry, and rash when he didn't know what to think. Kowalski had acted because Skipper failed to tell him what he needed to know.

The flat-headed penguin's smile turned into a frown as he looked onto the cold ocean. Perhaps all of the events that had lead up to this point could had been prevented if he didn't always try to hide his past from others.

Skipper heard a shuffling behind him. Whipping his head around, his eyes fell onto Kowalski. The bird was awkwardly looking at the ground, his flippers folded behind his back.

"Oh, sorry," Kowalski said when he noticed Skipper had seen him, "I didn't mean to spook you. May I err... join you? Sir?"

"Sure," Skipper said, gesturing to the spot next to him. He redirected his attention back out over to ocean as he heard the intellectual sit down. He didn't make eye contact though. For some reason, he just couldn't bring himself to look up at the tall penguin.

The two penguins sat in silence for a period of time. Skipper's mind was going crazy, trying to formulate a sentence to break the ice. Something to get the conversation flowing that wouldn't be too harsh or too stupid. It was like he was talking to a new acquaintance. Kowalski managed to come up with something first and broke the silence.

"So, Sarge is dead," he spoke simply.

"Yup," Skipper responded.

More silence. Skipper heard Kowalski shift uneasily in his place. The leader really wished he could come up with something to say right about now. Something that might help the tall penguin forgive him. Instead he was blown away by Kowalski's next sentence.

"I'm... I'm sorry, sir," the strategist stuttered.

Skipper snapped his head towards Kowalski, who flinched when their eyes made contact. Had he thought that Skipper was going to slap him?

"Sorry for what?" Skipper asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. He was trying to make himself look a bit less mean-spirited, and it seemed to have some affect on the bird next to him.

"For playing into Sarge's trap. He had me by the strings like a puppet the whole time. I didn't even listen to you when you tried to tell me, sir," Kowalski responded.

"You can drop the soldier act," Skipper mentioned, making Kowalski meet his gaze again. "Right now I'm not your superior. I'm your friend."

Kowalski nodded, saying, "Thank you"

"Don't worry about Sarge, though. He had me brainwashed at one point time, too."

"Oh?" Kowalski asked.

"Yeah," Skipper responded, turning his gaze back out onto the ocean.

He watched as the moonlight glinted off the gentle waves and back into his eyes. It was very calming. Tonight was a perfect night to tell Kowalski everything that Skipper should have told him ages ago. The things Kowalski had only wanted to know so he could help Skipper find peace in his ex-teammate's deaths and maybe move on to bigger and better things. Now was the time, he was sure of it.

"I think I owe you a story," he began. Kowalski perked up at this, listening intently.

Skipper proceeded to spill everything. Everything from the very beginning. The first day he had met Sarge. The evil penguin had come to him at a time when he was lost and without purpose. The penguin had fulfilled his want to mean something in the world by offering him a spot in the Penguin Army. Skipper knew he had accepted because he wanted to try to make a difference.

The leader continued to tell his strategist everything that had happened at his boot camp and at the penguin base. From building the bunker, to installing the secret passage, to getting dumped on fishing duty, to Manfredi's falling out. All of the reasons that he had followed the large bird into oblivion, all of the things Johnson had said. Everything came out of Skipper's mouth like water, water that Kowalski was drinking up like he was extremely thirsty.

Skipper told Kowalski about the first time he had shot another penguin. Then he told him about how they had failed to convince the Penguin Army to rebel, and how Manfredi had revealed to Sarge the information he needed to murder all of Manfredi's home town and family. The tall bird expressed horror as Skipper described the sight of the destroyed town, the smell of blood in the air.

"I had no idea," Kowalski commented. "It seems like Manfredi had a right to be insane. He was driven into madness by Sarge."

"Manfredi was wounded that day, yes," responded the leader who still hadn't taken his eyes off the horizon, "but it wasn't until he lost Johnson that he died completely."

Skipper told him about their quest to steal the Sun away from the penguin base. How he had wrenched the Sun from the collapsing structure before it catastrophically exploded, killing all of those inside. That included Manfredi and Johnson, or so he thought.

The leader moved forward in time to the boat they had used to pursue Sarge to rescue the tall bird that sat next to him now. How Manfredi had nearly sacrificed himself just to get the damn thing running. Then Skipper filled him in with what Manfredi had shown Skipper and the others. The story of Johnson and Edgar. It was enough for Kowalski to lower his brow, angry at himself.

"If only I would have known," he said. "I would have never trusted that backstabbing traitor."

"That's my fault," said Skipper. "I should have told you the reason I had been training you on the very first day we met. It was wrong of me to do that to you. And on top of that, leave you in the darkness to get attacked by my own enemies while I ran away, after my old friend."

Kowalski seemed stunned by these words, as he didn't respond for some time. Skipper heard him shift around awkwardly again. Then, Skipper realized something. The tall bird had come out here to apologize to Skipper, and had not been expecting an apology back. He had been beating himself up for what had happened!

"Do you remember that time we stole that shipping barge and went to Antarctica? I had meant to tell you about the Sun then. Show it to you, actually, but then I turned back. I used the snowstorm that stood between us and the temple as an excuse, and we went left. I don't know if it was because I was afraid or the memories were too painful."
"I had thought there was more of a reason for us going to Antarctica," Kowalski responded, "it didn't seem like the operation was worth stealing a human shipping vessel."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for anything that happened, though," Skipper told him, "you only did what you thought was best."

"I wish I would have listened to you more, though. I was just trying to protect everyone. I didn't want anyone to get hurt," the intellectual responded.

"There's nothing wrong with that," answered the leader.

Silence again. Skipper decided to break it quickly by saying, "I'm more than sorry about not telling you what you should have known. I'm sorry for hurting you like I did."

Kowalski shifted awkwardly again. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me so much, I've got plenty to be sorry for as well."

"You only did what you did because of how I treated you," answered Skipper.

"Maybe, but remember when Sarge offered me a spot on his team? I wasn't going to try to run away from him as soon as we got out of the temple. I was going to help him. Over the two weeks I had been trapped on their boat with them, they had gained my trust. In addition to that, they had made me hate you, Skipper."

Skipper was surprised by the words. Sarge had targeted Kowalski in a perfect way. The evil penguin was a psychological genius. He had preyed on Kowalski's tiny kernel of animosity towards Skipper and had made it grow.

"I'm really sorry for slapping you," Kowalski confessed. "I... I kind of enjoyed it."

Skipper turned to Kowalski, a smile on his beak. He gently clapped the tall bird on the back. Kowalski smiled too.

"Don't get used to that feeling," said Skipper, "because if you ever slap me like that again, it'll be cleaning duty for a week."

"Are we still going to be soldiers?" Kowalski asked. "I mean, Sarge is dead and the Sun is safe again..."

"Of course," Skipper countered. "We don't know what could be out there. As far as I know, we're some of the only animals on the planet that know the Sun exists. If anyone else learned about it, and wanted to use it like Sarge had planned, then we'd be the only ones who could stop them."

Kowalski nodded. "You know what? That idea sounds great to me. I'm happy to continue following your orders, sir," he said, finishing his words with a salute.

Skipper returned the salute and then they both smiled. Then silence befell the pair again. Skipper looked over the horizon again, watching the waves gently roll over the surface of the ocean, thinking about the future.

Things were looking up. Manfredi, his once best friend and teammate, was dead, yes, but Skipper had found peace in his death. He knew it had been a sacrifice that Manfredi was willing to make. Sarge was also dead. No longer would Skipper have to worry about him returning from his shadowed past to stir up trouble again.

His past wasn't really that shadowed anymore, though. He had shared it with everyone. His team, Julien, and Marlene all knew. He was happy with that. He no longer felt like he needed to conceal everything from everyone, like his secrets were only his to guard. Kowalski's betrayal had shown him that.

Skipper's thoughts drifted to Private, laying peacefully in the bed of jackets. Skipper knew he was alive, and was thankful. He was still in a coma, though, and the leader was not sure when he was going to come out of it. Even so, Skipper knew they'd be able to bring Private back up to full health. Skipper figured by the time they got back to New York, he'd be up, talking, and back to normal.

His thoughts found their way to Alice. The woman she had hated only a month ago. Hated with all of his heart because she had installed those tracking chips in their foreheads. The tracking chips had lead them directly to Kowalski and Sarge, though, and Skipper now saw the zookeeper in a different light. Now he found her to be a great ally and friend. She had saved them from the unclosed Sun, showing bravery that Skipper could only admire. She had patched up all of their wounds and was now driving the boat sleeplessly, trying to get back to New York for all of them. Skipper wished he could thank her somehow, but had no idea how to communicate with her. He would have to give her a salute later, he thought, maybe she'd see the meaning behind that.

Skipper sat peacefully next to his best friend, lieutenant, and strategist. The air of conflict that had once existed between them was now gone, and Skipper was happy. Everything was going to be okay now that Sarge was gone and they were on their way back to New York. It was all going to be just fine.

Skipper glanced up at the moon as it disappeared behind some clouds. The light it emitted followed it, leaving only the dim stars to illuminate their way. The penguin's face was bathed in shadow, leaving only his crystal blue eyes visible, gleaming.

The speed of darkness was not fast enough to catch him tonight.