The next morning, Lorne headed off world to attempt to salvage negotiations with Carishima. He'd stopped at the infirmary before leaving to inform Sheppard of his mission. Sheppard wasn't happy, but Lorne and Carson agreed for once. The colonel needed to stay on Sateda for at least a week in order to recover from his injuries. Sheppard put up enough of a fight that Carson was distracted and allowed Evan a few moments with Shani. They had spent a lot of time together in the Jumper, and he found her a calming influence in moments of stress.
Now, he turned his attention to his mission. He had lain awake for hours the night before, wondering what to tell this people about Sheppard's actions. I'm sorry my CO beat the crap out of your people. He's on the rebound and doesn't mean anything by it. Somehow, that just didn't work for Evan.
He'd eventually forced himself to sleep and woke no closer to an answer. The one person he would have loved to discuss it with—Shani—had been tied up in the clinic. Lorne had refused to cause an even bigger scene by asking her to step out for a bit. Instead, he figured he'd wing it once he arrived on Carishima.
Stepping through the gate was something he hadn't done since arriving on Sateda. Evan smiled as he exited the wormhole, the scenery on the other side refreshing. Sateda, while inhabited, was still in ruins. Progress was made daily, but the smell of decay and chilled breezes swept the streets. Evan supposed he'd become so accustomed to it that he hadn't noticed the difference until now. Carishima was an agricultural world, one in which the people lived in wooden homes much like Kiah. Yellow flowers dotted the field where the Stargate stood, and Evan grinned up at the warm, mid-summer sun. He missed days like this.
Samen, the village leader, approached the team with a harried expression on his face. Several others followed him, clearly drawn by the sound of the wormhole establishing. "You are from Sateda?"
"Yeah." Evan glanced at his men before replying. "I know you were expecting Colonel Sheppard and Ronon, but you got me. Major Evan Lorne."
Samen bobbed his head. "To be truthful, Colonel Sheppard caused a bit of an uproar yesterday."
"Ah. . .about that." Evan rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced around. Behind Samen, the village bustled with men and women packing supplies into wagons. Children watched warily or played on the edges while the adults scurried about with desperate expressions. Evan sighed. "The colonel's been under a lot of stress lately, and. . . ."
Samen held up a hand to stop him. "Major, as much as I'd love to discuss Colonel Sheppard's actions, I must admit it is not my priority right now. We just received word that one of our settlements on another world was attacked. I'm afraid we have very little in the way of supplies or food that we can spare."
If it was a lie, it was a good one. Evan nodded. "Might we be of assistance?"
Samen blinked. "Why would you help us?"
Evan shrugged. "The way I see it, we help you and rebuild what yesterday's fight destroyed. That way, next time either of us needs to trade, we know where to go." He adjusted the P90 he still carried for this very purpose. "We are skilled in fighting the Wraith, as well."
Samen considered the proposition for a few moments. The lure of extra men to fight the Wraith was clearly too powerful, but he didn't want to appear weak. Finally, he sighed. "Very well," he said as he nodded. "There is a caravan of supplies leaving within the hour. You may accompany it."
Evan agreed and nodded to Coughlin. The lieutenant took off for the gate to inform Sateda of the change in plans. Evan and the remaining members of his team were led to the wagons being prepped. An hour later, they stepped through the gate to utter devastation.
oOo
"It was. . . ." Evan's voice trailed off as he shook his head.
Walking beside him, Shani waited for him to continue his story. He had returned an hour ago, dirty and exhausted from a day spent helping a world that had been attacked. She had been at the gate when he arrived and had watched as the mask he typically wore settled over his features. She allowed him to go to the clinic, to see Carson and inform Sheppard of what had occurred. She never expected him to appear at her door, asking if she would take a walk with him. Now, she held a stray twig that her dress hem had picked up during their stroll, her natural patience warring with her worry.
Finally, Evan sighed. "Sorry. I know this sort of thing is normal for you, but. . . ."
Shani stopped walking and stared into his face. "This was worse than normal?"
He narrowed his eyes slightly, not meeting her gaze as he stared into his memories. "It was Kiah all over again." He swallowed as if trying to keep from vomiting and rubbed his eyes.
She looked away. "I am sorry, Evan. I did not think before I spoke."
His hand came up to touch her face, the first time he had ever done something. His fingers were cool, the tips barely resting on her jaw as he turned her to face him. "Don't apologize. You couldn't know, and I'm just tired."
Shani smiled at him, unable to speak as she stared into his eyes. For the moment, the harsh surroundings of Sateda melted away. The sun had begun to set, warming everything with its glow and casting a bright orange light on Evan's face. His blue eyes crinkled slightly at the corner as he smiled, and the cold breeze ruffled the short hair that fell forward onto his forehead.
Then, he blinked as if coming to himself. "Ah. . . ." He licked his lips as he dropped his hand, seeming to search for something to say. "Sorry."
"For what?" Shani could not be certain where this boldness came from, but she found herself suddenly tired of the hesitation between them. "Evan, may I ask you a personal question?"
"Yeah."
"Did you leave someone behind on Kiah?" Shani watched as his eyes lit with amusement, but his smile was sad. "Or on Earth?"
Evan turned away from her, staring at the sunset as he shoved his hands into his pockets. The wind ruffled his hair again, and she had the irrational urge to run her fingers through it. She clasped her hands in front of her, determined to wait for his response.
"Yeah, I did." He glanced at her. "My mom and sister are back there. You knew that. But, before I came here, there was someone. She and I went our separate ways."
"I see." Shani waited for more information, but none was forthcoming. Evan's eyes fell when as he spoke, telling her that the relationship had not ended well. She had spent enough time with Lindsey and other women from Earth to know that marriage customs were different. Men and women could end such a relationship on a whim and not pay any consequences. Though, based on the expression Evan now wore, whatever his relationship was with this other woman had not ended so peacefully.
"As for Kiah. . . ." He shook his head. "I guess I got so caught up in building a new village, a new way of life, that I just. . . .I didn't take time to make new friends. And when Colonel Sheppard fell for Gisli, I felt like I didn't have time. He wasn't completely focused, so I had to be."
"And now?"
"Now, I don't know." He eyed her. "Shani, I would like nothing more than to ask you out, to treat you the way I want to treat you. But things are complicated. Life is complicated, and I see what Sheppard and Teyla are going through. Even though I know you'd never do something like that, I don't know if I want. . . ."
Shani waited for another moment until she knew he wouldn't continue. "You are afraid to risk it?" His answer was an embarrassed glance, and it made him look more like a young boy and less like the hardened soldier he'd become. This time, she reached out and touched him, putting her hand on the side of his face as she moved to stand in front of him. "Evan, have you not considered my past? You are not the only one who has lost loved ones. My husband was a good man, and I loved him. Maybe not at first, but I cared deeply. By the end, we had passed the point of mutual respect and had come to the place where I can genuinely say I would have spent the rest of my life with him. But it was not to be, and he died of old age long before I ever wanted.
"What I am trying to say," she continued, "is that you are not the only person here to wonder if you should risk reaching out to someone again. I never considered living anywhere but in my brother's home after my husband died. My step-sons tried to get me to live with them, to be around his family. But I could not. I could not endure the memories. Now," she added as she smiled, "I have found someone who makes me want to reach out again."
The impact of her words was visible. He'd been staring at her as she spoke, and he blinked when she finished. His hands came up to gently hold her shoulders, and for one insane moment, Shani believed he might pull her into a kiss. She had seen the way that Major Marks held his wife and had longed for that again. But she now imagined Evan at her side rather than her late husband.
Rather than pulling her to him, however, Evan met her eyes. "You're sure?"
"Yes."
His thumbs moved, massaging her shoulders through her dress and making her want to shiver in anticipation. "It's not. . . .I don't know how you do things on Ataliya, but on Earth, we have something called 'dating.'"
"Dating?"
"Yeah." He dropped his hands to motion as he explained, leaving her feeling inexplicably chilled. "The couple sets up dates—times when they meet—so that they can get to know one another, be alone, share experiences, and so on."
"So, you would wish to date me?"
"Yeah." Evan chuckled. "Yeah, I would."
Shani also smiled. "I would be honored, Evan."
"Good." He held her gaze for another long moment. "Dinner? Just the two of us? We could take a flight and eat as we watch the sunset."
The light had begun to fade, but Shani still saw the hope in his eyes. "I would love that."
They walked back to her home after settling things between them. The conversation turned back to Evan's work, and he admitted that he had several trips to make through the Stargate to help with Carishima's crisis. It would put off their date, but Shani was confident he would keep his word. She fell asleep that night as she thought about her late husband and his final words to her. Shani, my love, live well. Do not hold yourself back because of my memory. I cherish what we shared, and I cherish you. But you are young and will one day love again. Do not let me keep you from that.
She dreamed of Evan and of the future she hoped to share with him.
oOo
A week later, Sheppard walked through the gate to a now-familiar world. His team followed him, each one going their separate ways. McKay had set up a research station here to study the mineral content in the mountains nearby. He'd explained to everyone that the rock could contain something similar to naquadriah back in the Milky Way and was their best hope of getting back to Earth without a ZPM. Ronon and Teyla often met up with friends they'd made on their last visits. And Sheppard went to see Calixte.
She waited for him in the door of her home, welcoming smile on her face as he slowly approached. Rather than stepping out of the way, she forced him to brush past her, resulting in full-body contact that was common between intimate couples on this world. Sheppard quite liked the tradition. It was a bit of public foreplay that he could handle. She had barely closed the door behind her when he gathered her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Her hands went around his waist as she allowed him to explore her body through her clothing with his own wandering hands.
The last week had been stressful. After his fight on Carishima, Sheppard had been confined to Sateda until his injuries healed. Truth be told, they hadn't fully healed, but he'd gone a bit stir-crazy waiting for news from Lorne's missions to Carishima's settlement. The major had spent most of that week running between Sateda, Ataliya, and Carishima in an effort to coordinate humanitarian relief. No news had come in on who had attacked the settlement, and a few of the people had migrated to Sateda. Elizabeth had also visited, taking over the negotiations and leaving Sheppard feeling useless. Today, he had decided that he would see Calixte, spend the night with her, and work off a bit of the pent-up energy that had begun with his fight. He needed to be with her desperately.
Just as he was about to start removing clothing, she gasped and pulled out of his grasp. "I have made us a meal," she said with a smile. Her face was flushed, and her eyes promised much more as the evening progressed.
Sheppard grinned and pulled her back into his arms. "I don't need a meal right now. Just you." The growl in his voice made her giggle, and she kissed him again.
This time, when she pulled away, she kept her body pressed against his. "Why do you not ask me to join you on Sateda?"
"Uh, Calixte, it's not that easy." John hoped to get out of this explanation, but her insistence showed in the way she would not allow him to look away from her. "People would talk."
"They already talk here." She shrugged. "It does not stop you from visiting my home."
He chuckled at that. "Yeah, me and half a dozen other men." As soon as he said it, he knew he'd messed up.
Her face flamed, presumably from embarrassment. She again stepped from his arms, and he didn't stop her this time. "You are right." She moved to stand near the window, looking out into the twilight that gathered in the streets. "But you are also wrong."
"I am?"
"Yes." She faced him, her eyes sparkling in the firelight. He couldn't be certain if it was from anger or hurt. "John, you are not wrong in your assessment of my life. I have sold my body to many men as a way to make a living. But, since you came. . . ." She shook her head as she again moved to him, touching his face gently. "You changed me, John. I am not that woman. No other man has come to my home since you. And no other one will."
"Uh, listen, I think I might have gotten the wrong impression." John set his hands on her hips, his way of keeping her somewhat at a distance while he cleared up this misunderstanding. "This between us was just. . . ."
Her face fell. "Physical?"
"Yeah." For some reason, that admission left him feeling ashamed. John refused to explore why, not when he knew that he could go to any number of other worlds and have his needs met. "The way you came on to me, the way you said goodbye the first time, not to mention how you've never mentioned. . . ."
Calixte bit her lip as she listened, her head nodding even though she didn't look him in the eye. After a long tense moment—one in which John nearly headed for the door—she lifted her chin. Tears glittered in her eyes, but a trembling smile crossed her face. "You are right. I should have explained sooner."
John frowned. "You're gonna be okay, right?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" She shrugged and then reached for his face, pulling him into another searing kiss.
He wanted so badly to answer the call of what she offered, but he pulled away before he lost his head. "You're sure?"
"John." She pressed her body against his, making certain to move in just the way he liked. "If that is all of you that I can have, then I must accept my life such as it is."
He stared at her, looking for a reason to believe her. A part of him—the part not clouded by his body's screaming demands—knew that he should leave. Nothing good ever came from becoming involved with a woman like Calixte. But the other part of him stared into her eyes and easily read the promises and suggestions there. Lowering his head, he kissed her with the desperation that had been growing for a week.
Several hours later, completely satisfied and having forgotten all about the meal she cooked, John dozed with his arm over Calixte's body. She wiggled toward him, and his body's natural reaction pulled him from the first rest he'd had since Carishima. He nuzzled Calixte's shoulder, receiving a giggle and sigh in response. He felt her move as he pulled her toward him. Her body fell over his, and he smiled as she kissed him back with all of the passion that had characterized their meetings. John pushed her hair back from her face and continued kissing her, feeling her hand move beneath the covers.
He was completely unprepared for the sharp stab that made him gasp. Calixte roughly pulled out of his grip as pain blossomed in his ribs. His vision darkened suddenly, and every breath was agony. He gasped several more times, some very unromantic curses coming out of his mouth as he stared at the hilt of a dagger plunged between two of his ribs.
Calixte sat on the bed, her eyes glittering again. They coldly watched as his blood stained the sheets. "You are a fool!"
Sheppard blinked at the venomous words. "You said. . . ." He wasn't able to continue speaking and let out a groan.
"I said I would have to accept my life such as it is. My life!" She leaned toward him, her hands going on both sides of him, her naked body no longer attractive as he struggled to stay conscious in spite of the pain. "I hope you die here! Then see what your people think of you!"
She pushed away from him and, without another glance, dressed and left the house. John gasped in and out as he tried to work up the nerve to reach for his clothing. His radio was in his pants pocket, something he'd never needed when he came here. Now, he hated the idea that he'd allowed it to be so carelessly thrown away.
At least she'd left the knife in his ribs. Sheppard couldn't be sure if she'd nicked an artery with her attack and tried to sit up. The agony left him shouting at the intensity, and he scooted himself off the bed. He hit the floor with a thump, the pain almost leaving him unconscious. The shifting around caused the blade to wiggle, creating even more pain than before. But, somehow, he reached his pants. With the blanket still wrapped around the lower half of his body, he grabbed his radio.
"Sheppard. . .to Ronon!"
The answer was immediate. "Where are you?"
"Calixte. . . ." John breathed heavily, trying to ignore the blood that pooled around him. "Hurry!"
oOo
Carson was waiting when Major Lorne appeared at the clinic. He watched the other man walk into the room and saw the way the major's eyes swept the area. "She's not here, Major."
Lorne blinked. "Okay. Doc, what's goin' on?"
"I sent Shani home." Carson pinned him with a direct gaze. "Did you ask her out to dinner? On a date?"
Lorne narrowed his eyes, facing Carson in a way that said he refused to back down. "So what if I did?"
"Major, she didnae come here to date anyone. She came here to learn to be a doctor."
"And you're gonna teach her that." Lorne shrugged. "What's the harm in allowing her to have friends she enjoys spending time with?"
"Friends?" Carson stood from where he'd settled behind his desk. "Major, from what I overheard, you and Shani arenae friends."
"What you overheard?"
"Shani saw Lindsey Novak-Marks today. I overheard the two of them talking about Earth dating customs."
"Yeah?" Lorne shrugged. "What's so different between me asking Shani out and you asking Dahlia Radim for a date?"
"That's no' the point!"
"No, I think it is!" Lorne took a step forward, reminding Carson that he was a military man and wouldn't back down easily. "You've been totally unreasonable about this whole thing! Shani and I enjoy spending time together. Out of everyone on this rock, she's the one person I really trust enough to talk to! Why can't you get your head out of your. . .medical books. . .long enough to see that?"
Carson almost smiled at the way the major changed the curse into something a bit more acceptable. But, he managed to push it away. "Major, you have no idea what you're doin'!"
"Then enlighten me!" Lorne jabbed a finger at him. "Because, right now, all I see is a pathetic excuse for a doctor trying to control everything around him! Well, got news for you, Doc! It's not gonna work!"
"Now, just listen here. . . !" Whatever argument Carson was about to make was cut off when the door to the clinic burst open. McKay ran through, his face pale. Carson moved forward. "Rodney?"
"Ronon's. . .coming!" McKay gasped, out of breath. "He's. . .got Sheppard. . . .Injured!"
"What?" Carson reached for his medical kit. "How bad?"
"Bad!"
Carson had just tossed the strap of his medical kit over his shoulder and grabbed a second case when Ronon hollered for everyone to move. He carried a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms, blood already seeping through. Carson turned to Lorne, all arguments forgotten for the moment. "Major, I need Shani here right now!"
Lorne nodded once and left the clinic at a dead run.
Carson pointed. "Ronon, over here." He stood next to the bed, pulling on latex gloves as Ronon gently deposited the unconscious colonel on the mattress. He gingerly lifted the edge of the blanket, seeing how it was wrapped around Sheppard's body. The layers came away to reveal that Sheppard wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. Carson had heard about Sheppard's escapades off world, but he had not yet found a chance to discuss them with the colonel. Now, he blinked at the knife lodged between two of the colonel's ribs, blood seeping out from around it. "Dear Lord!"
~TBC
Author's Note: Just a quick thing: Naquadriah, mentioned here, is shown several times in "Stargate SG-1," from Kelowna, the nation of Jonas Quinn.