[[Author's Note:

You guys are all just pure awesome. I really mean it. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing, being generally good for my self-esteem, &c &c &c.

So I have good news and bad news. The bad news first, because that's what people usually want: this chapter is short, and I apologize for that. (It had to be, because I have to switch the narration POV!)

The good news? I've already started the next one, so it'll be updated very soon!

Special thanks for torchil, Kyhy, fmapreshwab, elyoko11, FaithDie, aki, Daikuro-chan, and beardofbees for your reviews. Y'all are awesome. But you already knew that.

Oh, and bonus points for fmapreshwab, who totally solved the mystery of what Gus is up to. Psychic detectives everywhere would be so proud. ;)

H&Ks, Elske]]

Juliet turns on her heel and re-opens the door; she's got one hand on her hip and the other is clutching the key and there's something far from benevolent in her expression.

"Carlton. Shawn. Can you both hear me?" she asks, syrupy-sweet, looking from Carlton to Shawn and back. Carlton, she notices, has that I-wish-I-had-my-gun look on his face, and Shawn looks…amused? Oh no, amusement is not the right response to furious anger. Not in the least.

They both nod in the affirmative, and Juliet's grin widens. "Good. By my estimation we've half an hour before dinner is ready and I'll be damned if you're going to spend it not-talking. I know you don't want to, but you know what? Too. Bad."

She shakes her hair out of her face, rather melodramatically, narrows her eyes in Shawn's general direction. "Shawn, can I ask you something? When was the last time you had a serious girlfriend?"

"Define serious?" Shawn attempts, notices Juliet's complete lack of amusement. "Nineteen ninety something. Six? Eight? When did the song Hey Jealousy come out? It was on the radio in the car when she dumped me."

"Hmm." She nods. "And – as a matter of curiosity, Shawn – I've never asked you directly, but: are you heterosexual?"

"Jules!" He grins, gets to his feet, begins to cross the room towards her. "You know I love me the ladies."

She holds out her hand, palm up, keeping him at a distance. "Exclusively, Shawn? Really?"

Shawn's eyes go very wide. "Look, Jules, we can talk about girlish experimentation any time you like but around…" he nods his head severely, exaggeratedly in Carlton's direction, "it's a little, you-know…"

"I know." She frowns, bites her lip. "Shawn, have you ever noticed how much time you spend touching Carlton Lassiter? Especially during your visions? Have you ever wondered if the spirits are trying to tell you something? Think about it, Shawn, think about it long and hard."

He giggle-snorts, says "Jules, you just said long and hard," in a stage-whisper; she just glares at him and he shrinks away.

"Look, as much fun as this is," Carlton says, from near the window, and Juliet turns her cold gaze on him. "Carlton. Dear, dear Carlton. Have you ever noticed how much time you spend watching Shawn? Or talking about Shawn? When he's around, yes, and even when he's not? You complain about it in the way that makes it seem like you wish he were around. And you keep all the notes he's written you. "

"O'Hara, are you implying…" he begins, but Juliet interrupts.

"And I've never in my life shoved someone against a wall unless I was trying to ask them to kiss me or trying to ask them to screw me, Carlton. I could spend the entire thirty minutes ahead of us mentioning every time you've done that to Shawn, but I won't, because that would be entirely unproductive, not to mention repetitive."

"O'Hara…"

"Also, Carlton, at this very moment you have a Depeche Mode CD in your car stereo. Don't even bother trying to deny that one." She narrows her eyes, takes a deep breath, and turns her attention back to Shawn.

"So. Shawn. Carlton. They say you can lead a horse to water and you can't make it drink? Well, guess what. My horses are in the desert, gentlemen, and you know what happens to horses in the desert? They get very, very thirsty. It's like that game, where I tell you not to think about white elephants and you know what you're thinking about right now? White elephants, that's what, and try to ignore an elephant in the room this big. The radiator is there, my handcuffs are downstairs, and I'm going to check on the lasagna. I'll see you in a half hour." She grins sweetly, waves, and takes a step backward out the door, locks it firmly behind her.

They're talking already, she realizes.

Shawn's voice says She mixed her metaphors up more than I do.

Carlton's voice says What does Depeche Mode have to do with anything?

It's a brilliant start. She grins and wanders back into the kitchen to check the lasagna.