1. Romeo & Juliet
I do not sleep. It's a commodity I wish I had, a phenomenon that entraps me. Dreams are a state that I could never accomplish, or that is what I thought until I met Bella Swan; beautiful and smart to the extreme, selfless and one-hundred percent mine. My brain seems to find peace in her quiet mind. This was exactly what dreams were made of. So what was it about sleep that makes Bella look like an angel from heaven?
It was just like on any other night. I was hugging her close to my body while she slept. The most intricate workings that made up her every curve were lined with mine. I was immersed in her warmth that was emitting from her body like the rays of the sun. Her head was lying on my cold chest; my nose in her hair. I drew her scent into my lungs, reveling in the most elaborate mix of flowers, strawberries and the hot seductive aroma of her blood. Her heart was beating at its regular pace, only speeding up as her breathing grew heavy when she would murmur my name. It was moments like those that I lived for. And longed for. But this was not just any other night, it was Bella's birthday. This day had many meanings to her, and I knew that she would bring up the inevitable conversation about becoming like me. So my plan was to distract her.
She sighed and gripped me closer. This was just another moment in time that I could capture in my memory. She was deeply embossed in my brain to the point that I could picture her perfectly when I closed my eyes. I did this often when I was away from her for any period of time.
Down the hall I could hear Charlie stir in his room. Light was beginning to brighten the sky as the sun rose over the trees, casting shadows in her room. The sky was full of grey clouds. I looked at Bella's alarm clock. In the corner the date stamp read September 13, the day Bella turns a year older then me. A fact I knew she would remind me of, and often.
I thought about waking her early but thought better of it. She needed the sleep. Regardless, Alice would undoubtedly be awaiting my arrival at home so I needed to get back. She was overly excited about today. She spent every hour she could at stores around the greater Washington area. I tried to explain to her that this wasn't the best of ideas, but she refused to listen.
In a quick fluid motion I released Bella. Leaving her warmth behind always made me feel cold inside, but I knew any moment Charlie would stick his head in to check on his daughter. I kissed her forehead lightly and bounded out of her window.
Flying through the trees, watching them go by at extraordinary speeds, I could already imagine what Alice had up her sleeve this morning. I was moving with such velocity that my feet were barely touched the ground. In a short moments time I was back at my house.
Alice greeted me at the steps, a routine that we seemed to have picked up. She was singing the birthday song in her head. I sighed and shook my head. "I told you that Bella doesn't want to celebrate her birthday," I glared at her. She didn't buy it.
The last thing I wanted was to upset Bella, but if I didn't give Alice some free reign she'd be disappointed. I know, I know, she thought but her smile was blinding as she showed me a vision of Bella's infectious laughter at our house this evening. It was a relief to see her cheerfulness.
"Okay, but I warned you." I cautioned. Her visions were always accurate. Example: Bella is still a human and not a vampire as Alice had once envisioned.
As I walked into the house to get ready for school she continued to sing, "Happy birthday to Bella, happy birthday to Bella…" aloud this time.
Alice will be Alice.
It was our senior year at Forks High School. Only Alice and I remained at school after Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie graduated in the summer. I had compromised with Bella about her driving to school, so I was no longer her chauffeur.
"It will give my Dad some peace of mind," she told me. I caved eventually – reluctantly. Who knew what kind of damage could come of her if she were to wreck that thing.
But, I would give her anything that she asked…except for the one thing she wanted the most. The one thing I knew she'd be thinking this morning when she awoke to her alarm clock displaying her date of birth. Above all the worldly gifts I could give her, she wanted me to extinguish her flaming, bright gold, beautiful soul. I refused to take something so amazing out of this dreadful world. That didn't stop her from arguing.
Alice and I were standing beside the Volvo, awaiting Bella's arrival at school. Two minutes, Alice thought, excitement apparent on her face.
She didn't need to tell me how close Bella was. You could hear her truck from miles away. I listened as the engine strained to make it down the street. I heard the exhaust backfire a few times and tried to suppress a laugh.
"Alice, maybe you should wait to give her that gift," I pleaded, pointing towards the small box in her hand.
"No way!" she exclaimed. Her vision was of Bella refusing her gift, but that never stopped the very tiny, annoying, Alice. She always had hope.
Bella's truck loomed into view as she turned into the parking lot. We both watched her carefully. Alice's eagerness was radiating off of her in waves and I couldn't help but feel energized to see her too. Then again, I felt thrilled to see her no matter the day or meaning.
I watched Bella's eyes as she caught sight of us waiting for her. She frowned when she saw the gift in Alice's hands and then parked. When she exited her truck she slammed the door so roughly that flecks of rust showered the ground, sending little metallic reflections back at her. A human wouldn't notice this.
Bella turned around slowly, like she was thinking of getting back in her truck to run for it before she started walking towards us. Alice couldn't take the anticipation and she danced over to her, present raised high in the air for Bella to see. I stayed next to the car to witness, not wishing to be apart of the conversation I knew was about to take place.
"Happy birthday, Bella!"
"Shh!" Bella hissed.
Right on cue, I thought, watching them intently.
Bella's eyes started darting around the parking lot like she was afraid someone would overhear her.
"Do you want to open your present now or later?" Alice trilled eagerly.
"No presents," she complained in a low whisper. Again, I told Alice that this wasn't a good idea.
She is going to open this present whether she likes it or not. Alice narrowed her eyes slightly."Okay…later then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"
Bella sighed. "Yeah. They're great," she mumbled.
So it is possible for her to accept gifts? Excellent. Alice continued to think of the best ways to give Bella all her gifts. "I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience."
"How many times have you been a senior?" Bella questioned.
"That's different," Alice frowned.
I knew this was coming, I knew it! She's been in the parking lot for only one minute and already she has brought up the dreadful I want to be a vampire conversation.
They finally reached me when Bella's scent hit me. My usual desires flared in me, but I was so used to them that it was no big deal for me to cage any beasts that wanted to escape. I offered her my hand. I still wanted it to be her choice. Her frown quickly turned up and she grabbed my hand eagerly. When our skin met I was instantly warmed, the current running sinuously through our bodies. My cold body finally receiving what it was craving since I left her this morning. I squeezed her fingers gently. Her gaze met mine and her heart skipped a beat and her pulse raced. I smiled at the thought that I still could make her pulse dance and her blood boil.
Bella and I were in our world now. I didn't even notice Alice standing there anymore. Though I could easily banish my desires from taking over, I didn't mind when my passion flared up. I reached out and caressed her face with my finger, lingering at her lips. Those lips…
"So, as discussed," I distracted myself, "I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?"
"Yes. That is correct," she responded, a smile playing on her lips.
"Just checking." I returned her smile.
On this most momentous of days I wanted to give Bella so many things. There was a car that came to mind. I quickly banished that thought. I knew she would never let me get her a gift of that magnitude. "You might have changed your mind," I continued. "Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."
Alice began laughing loudly at the non-joke. "Of course you'll enjoy it." She thought of the absurdity of my statement. "Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Getting older," Bella groaned.
Unbelievable, thanks Alice, I thought bitterly. Of course this would be what Bella was thinking. She wanted me to change her into the deplorable creature that I am. She had no idea what she was asking of me. Bella could see the thoughts through my facial expressions and pursed her lips.
Alice knew that would be her response. She was on Bella's side of the argument. I frowned down at the tiny vampire.
"Eighteen isn't very old," Alice said, completely ignoring me. "Don't women usually wait till they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" she wondered. You know, if you just change the girl we wouldn't constantly be having this discussion. I have seen it several times, it will happen. Just give in Edward.
I glared at her but Bella was oblivious.
"It's older than Edward," Bella complained.
I sighed. Her age would never matter to me. Her beauty could not be changed by the slow decay of time.
"Technically, just by one little year, though," Alice said, still hopeful that I might change my mind.
This is not helping, I groaned internally.
"What time will you be at the house?" she continued.
"I didn't know I had plans to be there." I watched through Alice's eyes now as a vision flashed in her brain. Bella was abruptly missing from the party. Alice snapped out of her divination and was instantly angered. "Oh, be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin our fun like that, are you?"
"I thought my birthday was about what I want," Bella exclaimed.
If I have to drag her there myself, I will! Alice's thoughts continued in a more visual way, directing them toward me. Some help? she finally pleaded.
I gave her a grave look, but caved. I still remembered the vision from earlier. Alice was right – what could go wrong? "I'll get her from Charlie's right after school." I told her.
Alice's vision abruptly shifted back to what it was this morning. That's better.
"I have to work," Bella tried to get out of the plans, but according to Alice's vision there was no getting out of this party.
"You don't, actually. I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you, 'Happy Birthday.'" A smile broke across Alice's face. She knew that she won this argument. Bella should have known that she would have seen this line of argument coming a mile away and would have prepared for it. She didn't need her uncanny ability to see her future to know this. If Alice was anything, she was efficient.
During the summer Bella applied for a job at Mrs. Newton's sporting goods store. I was not very pleased about this; any money she needed or wanted I would have freely given to her. We had many arguments over this subject but it was what she wanted and I gave in to her in the end.
"I – I still can't come over." Bella was struggling to find an excuse. "I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."
Alice and I both gave her a doubtful look. Alice snorted and I raised an eye brow at this news. "You have Romeo and Juliet memorized," Alice exclaimed.
"But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it – that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented." Bella tried but the excuses were a feeble attempt.
I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe she was trying to use this as an excuse in the first place. Maybe, "I'm sick," or "Charlie demands I stay home," might have been better logic because she had watched the movies and read the book so many times I was surprised she tried to use it as an justification at all.
Alice's vision had changed again. Bella was yet again nowhere to be found in the Cullen house this evening. She was a stubborn little thing. "You've already seen the movie," Alice accused, her tone not as friendly.
"But not the nineteen-sixties version. Mr. Berty said it was the best." Bella's attempt to avoid Alice's plans became more pathetic. Not even an "I broke my ankle."
Alice's smile turned into a glare because her vision had not shifted back. Sometimes when Bella makes up her mind, that's that. No future visions will stop that. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or the other…."
I had to step in at this point. "Relax, Alice." Her vision suddenly shifted back to the first outcome of Bella at the party because of my master plan. "If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday."
"So there," Bella added. A grin spread across her face at her victory.
I continued before she could actually stick out her tongue. "I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up."
Excellent, I need to stop by the store again, Alice added mentally while an exuberant laugh came out of her mouth. It was so easy to please her. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see," she continued to giggle. She bent forward, kissed her on the cheek and danced off towards class. This is going to be so much fun.
Bella's eyes were watching Alice prance away, a frown prominent on her face. "Edward, please," she begged.
I couldn't stand it when she begged and especially when she said please with those persuasive brown eyes. It almost always broke my resolve. To stop her from pleading with me I placed my finger over her lips. She was quiet but the desire to bring my lips to hers was almost overwhelming. I distracted myself. "Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."
We walked to our class together. At the beginning of the year I had convinced poor Ms. Cope to put me in almost all the same classes as Bella. As every day passed I didn't have to worry about her being in a class and some guy hitting on her. Or worse, her hurting herself in gym.
The day dragged on. My attention was always centered on Bella. I watched her every action and reaction. I saw her expressions and her eyes lighten at knowledge. I captured everything clearly in my head and continued to add to the list that I started keeping in my head from the first moments I came back from Alaska. I just wanted to be alone with her and school was not the place to do that. Those pesky desires were always around the corner of my mind.
This school year Alice and I had moved tables to sit with Bella and her friends, though their conversations never included us. Humans could always tell there was something off about the Cullen's which kept them at bay. I didn't mind this. The only reason I was on this earth was to be with Bella. As long as she was there I didn't care.
When the school day finally came to a close I walked Bella to her truck. Alice was already in the Volvo and about to turn onto the road to go back home. You better not forget to bring her, Edward. Alice reminded me mentally for the millionth time today. Because I just saw that Emmett and Rosalie will be there tonight. Rosalie is pretty pissed off that he wanted to come back just to see Bella. He bought her a stereo for her truck, she thought as she drove off. The Volvo rounded the corner and then she was gone.
When Bella and I reached her Chevy she folded her arms and refused to move after she noticed I was going for the passenger's side to open her door. The rain was making her scent excruciatingly painful. The fragrance was incredible and I was ready for her to be in the warm truck where her aroma would fill every particle of the air. She glared at me, which wasn't threatening in the least. "It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" she muttered.
"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished." I replied with a smile spreading across my face. She was so adorable when she was trying to be angry – like a little kitten.
"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…"
"All right," I interrupted, not wanting to receive a phone call from Alice chewing me out for another vision shift. I shut the passenger door and walked over to open the driver's side. "Happy birthday," I told her. Saying the words made me feel free. I'd wanted to tell her this all day.
"Shh," she whispered. There was a smile on her face, contradicting the look she was throwing at me. Her human reactions were always difficult to read, I never knew what she was going to do next, but I still enjoyed the silence of her mind, knowing deep down she did enjoy me saying 'happy birthday' to her.
When I entered the truck her scent assaulted my nose and daggers ripped through my throat. The aroma was warm and my hunger was insatiable. I reveled in the delicious fragrance for a moment; just let it take over for a second. I needed to distract myself and then I remembered what Alice told me about the stereo. I thought I would play up how bad her radio really was, make her appreciate Emmet's gift more. My fingers started fiddling with the dials. "Your radio has horrible reception."
Her lips turned down and she snapped back at me. "You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car."
Her kitten-like outrage was comical. I tried to suppress a chuckle though it was evident on my face. We reached her house and she parked in the driveway. After being around her all day, her scent, her warmth, her silent thoughts finally made my desire break free.
I slid myself closer to Bella in the tight little space. I reached out slowly and very gently pulled her face into my hands. They were warmed instantly. I knew to take care of what was between my palms; it would only take a slight jerk of my fingers to crush her skull. As always, I was gentle. My fingers moved greedily, tracing all the lines of her beauty. "You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I whispered, inches from her face.
"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" she breathed.
I moved in closer to her. "Too bad."
I brought my lips to hers. Explosions of pleasure rippled deep in my body. Her lips moved with mine. The warmth of her body engulfed me and her heart began working harder with her pulse racing. Her skin burned mine and sent electric jolts of jubilation through me. Her lips were delicious, something I craved.
Her breathing became panting. She raised her arms and encircled me in her embrace. She brought every curve of her body against mine in an effort to be as close to me as possible. The creature inside me rejoiced at the sensations that went spiraling through my veins. Her fragrance enveloped me and I never wanted us to be apart in this moment but the beast was rattling my chest and clawing up my throat. I thought about how eager she was in this moment, just as eager as I was. I realized this was wrong but not wrong enough. I smiled and pulled her gently away from my body before I exploded in exultation.
"Be good, please." I was breathing heavily, too. However, she was good, far, far too good.
I did not want the sensations to stop; I brought my lips to hers again but pulled away before Bella could react. I folded her arms across her stomach, just in case she thought seducing me was a good idea. She moved one hand and placed it over her heart. She could feel her pulse beating at an alarming rate, just like I could hear it. "Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she pondered. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"
"I really hope not," I whispered, enjoying the sound her heart was making at this second.
She rolled her eyes then, reading the satisfaction in my voice. "Let's go watch the Capulet's and Montague's hack each other up, all right?"
When we entered her house I laid on the couch, knowing she would join me. I wasn't ready to let her warmth escape me. Once she put the movie in she walked over to the couch and sat at the very edge in front of me. I reached out and pulled her waist towards my chest. I took her aroma into my lungs. Her scent was amazing after she had stood in the rain. I grabbed the blanket that was on the couch and wrapped it around her, knowing my skin was cold. She cuddled in nicely with my body. A distraction was already needed before I decide to place my lips to hers and let ourselves get carried away. "You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo." I commented.
She looked offended. "What's wrong with Romeo?"
"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline – don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"
She sighed. Her breath had the most seductive scent. "Do you want me to watch this alone?" she asked, warning me to keep my mouth shut.
"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." I said. I brought my fingers to her arm and began tracing little lines. Goose bumps rose and she shivered in pleasure. My distraction, keep up the distraction, I mentally told myself. "Will you cry?"
"Probably," she admitted, "if I'm paying attention."
"I won't distract you then," I lied effortlessly. I was already thinking of ways of distracting her…instead of myself. I brought my lips to her hair, inhaling the alluring scent. She trembled and I could tell it was working.
As the movie progressed I found other ways to keep her mind on me. I knew every line to the movie. My lips were at her ear. I whispered every line of Romeos to her. When Juliet awoke to find Romeo dead, Bella began crying, large round tears escaping her eyes. She had no reason to be sad and I found it amusing.
"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I confessed.
"She's very pretty." Bella guessed wrong.
Ugh! "I don't envy him the girl – just the ease of the suicide," I clarified teasingly. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…"
She interrupted me with a gasp. "What?"
I sighed, remembering the night I thought James had killed her. I had no hope. To think of my life without her was so painful that death was the only answer to ease the pain. "It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning…after he realized what he'd become…And he's clearly still in excellent health." I smiled.
Bella turned her body to face me. Her eyes met mine and she looked terrified. "What are you talking about," she demanded. "What do you mean, 'this is something you had to think about once'?" That wasn't the reaction I was looking for. Again, she surprised me with her words.
"Last spring, when you were…nearly killed…" I took in another large gulp of her heady scent, reveling in her aliveness. I didn't want to bring her mood down so I smiled again. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but part of my mind was making contingency plans. Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human." I explained, hoping to ease her terror.
She looked up, and stared at nothing. She was probably remembering that fateful night. She shook her head trying to erase the memories, I guessed. She returned her gaze to me, seizing my eyes. "Contingency plans?" she gulped.
"Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I rolled my eyes, I thought it was obvious. "But I wasn't sure how to do it – I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." I remembered Carlisle's stories and memories of the Volturi. I remembered how I thought about this when the one person that really mattered in the world was possibly dead.
"What is a Volturi?" she demanded.
"The Volturi are a family. A very old, very powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America – do you remember the story?" I asked.
"Of course I remember," she said obstinately.
"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi, not unless you want to die – or whatever it is we do." I explained.
I watched her face show many emotions ranging from anger to horror. She grabbed my face and her palms started warming my cheeks. She looked me directly in the eyes. "You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are not allowed to hurt yourself!" she almost cried.
She didn't understand. "I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point."
"Put me in danger!" she growled. "I thought we'd established that all the bad luck is my fault?" Her anger flared. "How dare you even think like that?" her voice had raised several octaves.
I was speechless by her outrage but quickly composed myself. "What would you do, if the situation were reversed?" I asked.
"That's not the same thing," she mumbled.
She was so absurd. I chuckled in spite of myself.
"What if something did happen to you?" she cringed. "Would you want me to go off myself?"
Thinking of Bella no longer living sent the worst pain plummeting through my stomach and almost shattering my heart. I very nearly compared to the way I felt during the night in Phoenix.
"I guess I see your point…a little," I admitted, "but what would I do without you?"
I would wither and die…more like I'd beg for death to take the pain away.
"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," she explained like this was obvious.
I sighed. "You make that sound so easy."
"It should be," she argued. "I'm not really that interesting"
She was insane. She was the most interesting creature I had ever come across in my existence. There really was no point in arguing because I knew where my feelings were and where they would forever lay. "Moot point." I pointed out.
Suddenly I heard the murmur of Charlie's thoughts from down the road. I sat up quickly, moving Bella away from me.
"Charlie?" she asked.
I smiled. The cruiser pulled into the driveway. Bella reached out and grabbed my hand with a smug look on her face. I could hear Charlie struggling with something in the car. He reached the door, finally, and walked inside. He was carrying a pizza box. "Hey, kids," he smiled at Bella. "I thought you'd like a break from cooking and washing dishes for your birthday. Hungry?" he asked.
"Sure. Thanks, Dad."
Bella's hand left mine as she got up to help Charlie with the pizza. She grabbed a slice out of the box and took a bite. I continued to watch her eat. I didn't know how they could eat that food. It was absolutely disgusting.
When Bella was finished she returned to my side, warming me immediately. I looked at the time. I realized that Alice was probably going to go insane if I brought Bella over any later than seven.
"Do you mind if I borrow Bella for the evening?" I turned my gaze to Charlie. I watched Bella's eyes turn to Charlie. Hope was apparent on her face.
Charlie's thoughts were usually a light humming or murmuring in my head. Sometimes his thoughts were as clear as a picture and other times they were completely unreadable. I never told Bella that his thoughts were usually half-way hidden from me.
"That's fine – the Mariners are playing the sox tonight," Charlie explained. "So I won't be any kind of company…Here," Charlie picked up the camera and threw it towards Bella. He should have known better. She didn't even get close to the camera when she tried to catch it. I reached out effortlessly and caught it.
"Nice save," Charlie exclaimed. "If they're doing something fun at the Cullen's tonight, Bella, you should take some pictures. You know how your mother gets – she'll be wanting to see the pictures faster than you can take them."
I was instantly gratified by him recommending this activity, "Good idea, Charlie."
Bella fiddled with the camera, pointed it in my direction. It flashed. "It works." Bella noted.
"That's good. Hey, say hi to Alice for me. She hasn't been over in a while." Charlie smiled.
I suppressed a chuckle at Bella's reaction. "It's been three days, Dad," she paused. "I'll tell her."
Charlie was ready to have us out of the house. He wanted to watch his game and I wanted Bella to receive her gifts from everyone.
"Okay. You kids have fun tonight," Charlie called out, marching to the TV.
The corners of my lips went up as a smile broke across my face. It took all of us to finally get her out of the house! At least Alice wouldn't be angry at me for not bringing her. That is one vision she didn't have to worry about anymore. I'm sure she could see it clear in her mind now, anyway.
Author's note: Thanks for reading the first chapter of New Moon in Edward's POV. This is Edward's journey through self-destruction, grief, pain, and tracking that all lead him back to Bella Swan. There will be several chapters without Bella, this is not a story that skips all the details in between.
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Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.