Chapter 13: Torn

"Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn." –Natalie Imbruglia

Elena moved quickly out the men's bathroom door and found herself having to fight the urge to run as fast as she could toward the blue painted doors that led to the exit. She wanted to get as far away from the scene of her crime as possible before anyone realized exactly where she had been and exactly what she had been doing. It wasn't that she was ashamed of what had happened between those cold tiled walls, because frankly she wasn't. She was however; desperately afraid of the cold judging eyes of a certain witch that had been scrutinizing her every move ever since the Salvatore brothers had wandered into their town over a year before. She knew that now that Bonnie suspected her involvement with the brother that she had long ago deemed unfit and evil, it was only a matter of time before she possibly lost the oldest and dearest friend she had left in Mystic Falls.

A feeling of relief washed over Elena as she passed through the large double doors and made her way into the vacant shadowy parking lot. After being sure she was completely alone and had made her way outside unseen, Elena began to finally slow her pace and take in the beauty of the night that now surrounded her. She let out a slight moan as she wrapped her arms around her sides and felt a dull ache from where Damon's hands had possessed her only moments before. She closed her eyes and for a moment she could still feel his passionate grip on her as he had tortured her body relentlessly. She breathed in and could still smell his skin, taste his lips and hear the painfully sweet sound of his moans as he moved deep inside of her. Elena felt her skin to begin to heat once again and in a moment was pulled back into the addictive grip of her beautiful memories. Before her memories could completely consume her however, Elena felt a very different grip wrap around the delicate skin of her arm.

"Sorry to pull you from you sweet dreams, but I believe someone owes me some details." A bubbly, but sarcastic voice said from behind Elena. Elena felt her heart begin to speed up in her chest as she slowly opened her eyes and began to turn toward the curious voice.

"I…um…don't know what you are talking about Care." Elena said slowly as she looked into the bright blue eyes that stared intently into hers. Caroline smiled as she removed her grip from Elena's arm and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Really, Elena? We are going to play that game? You really expect me to believe that Damon practically drug you into the bathroom because he was that concerned about you being carsick?" Caroline asked as her eyes danced with excitement and she cocked her head to the side. Elena shifted her weight nervously from foot to foot as she tried to think of something convincing to say in return.

"He was just worried about me, Care. I wasn't feeling well…he uh…held my hair." She said quickly as she dropped her gaze to the ground. Caroline laughed and nodded her head as she continued to search Elena's face for answers.

"He held your hair huh? Kinky." She mused as she watched Elena continue to fidget nervously in front of her. Elena's eyes quickly rose toward Caroline's. She knew, it was obvious, the only question now was exactly how much she knew.

"Did you hear anything?" Elena asked quietly as a blush began to creep up over her cheeks. Caroline smiled and bit down on her glossed ruby red lip.

"I am a vampire Elena and I was only down the hall, so of course I heard. But, I don't think I would have needed super sensitive hearing for that one. Seems my goody-goody friend Elena, is quite the screamer." She said as she smirked. Elena's face turned a much brighter shade of red as she seriously thought about running and hiding under one of the nearby parked cars.

"Oh god, Caroline…" Elena started, but Caroline raised her hand as she held back another laugh.

"Elena, you have nothing to explain to me. Please remember, I understand…trust me I do. Damon is…well he is a hard habit to kick. I knew when you told me the other morning at breakfast that you were ending things that it wasn't exactly going to be that easy. I knew that it wasn't really over; I could totally see it in your eyes. Damon is like an addiction. You know you shouldn't do it, you know it is bad for you, but it feels so good that even thinking about stopping hurts. I get it sweetie…now Bonnie on the other hand…" Caroline trailed off as she now dropped her gaze toward the ground. Elena felt her heart speed up slightly once again in her chest.

"Oh no, Bonnie heard?" Elena asked nervously. Caroline smiled as she looked up and shrugged her shoulders slightly.

"She didn't hear everything. Once I heard you say Damon's name for a third time in a row, I realized what was going on and I suggested we take a little walk. I tried to get us as far away as I could, but I know she heard something because she definitely started looking all judgy and pissed off." She said as she rolled her eyes and combed her fingers through her straightened blonde hair. Elena closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.

"God, she must hate me." Elena moaned as she imagined the confrontation with Bonnie that she knew was coming incredibly soon. Caroline stepped closer to her and pulled her hands from her face and held them tightly in hers. Her smile was bright and warm as she stared into Elena's eyes.

"Elena, listen to me. While Damon might not be on everyone's top list of people for you to be with, it is no one's decision who you are with but yours. Just tell Bonnie the truth and from there it's up to her to accept it and if she is your friend she eventually will. The only thing you need to worry about right now is keeping yourself sane and…" Caroline stopped suddenly as her amused expression began to fade from her face. Elena stared at her in concern.

"What Caroline?" Elena asked searching her friend's face for answers. Caroline let out a sigh.

"Elena, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but we are on our way right now to get Stefan. Stefan is still your boyfriend and once he finds out about you and Damon, things aren't exactly going to get any easier. If we aren't careful, this whole thing could blow up in all of our faces and end very badly." Caroline said as she avoided looking into Elena's eyes. Elena sighed as she felt a mixture between guilt and pain move through her body. It was the first time in the past few hours she had thought of Stefan and the first time in a long time that she had thought of what his reaction would be if he found out about her and his brother. She realized now that her relationship with Damon was not only putting her and Damon in danger, but now also her two closest friends that had come along for the ride. Elena swallowed the lump that had begun to form in her throat and tried to speak.

"Well, it's not like I'm just going to walk up to him and be like: 'Hey Stefan, I know we are here to help you and bring you home, but I also wanted to let you know that I am sleeping with your brother. No biggie right?' First, we focus on getting him home and then I will take care of talking to him about our relationship." Elena said as she wrapped her arms tighter around her body and tried to keep herself from completely falling apart. Caroline finally raised her eyes to meet Elena's. She smiled softly, but there was no amusement left on her face or in her concerned blue eyes.

"Elena, you aren't going to be able to hide what happened between you and Damon. I can smell him all over you and from what I smell; he left a few things on you that are going to be impossible for you to keep from Stefan." Caroline said slowly. Elena dropped her eyes to the ground suddenly as she felt memories of the past hour rush over her and suddenly realized that when she had told Damon she had wanted to keep the beautiful reminders of both of their hunger, she had also pretty much locked in any evidence that Stefan would need to crucify them both in an instant. Elena tried to shake the worry from her head and focus as she looked back to Caroline, but they both knew she was just putting on a show.

"Well, they are hidden and Stefan will probably be too preoccupied with trying to convince us he is fine and wants to stay with Klaus, so I hardly doubt he'll notice. Everything will be fine Caroline, we just need to get to Florida, get him back and then I will deal with everything else once we are home." She said quickly and even she realized she was beginning to sound like a cold hearted bitch. Caroline nodded.

"I hope so Elena, but I wouldn't hold your breath. If I could smell the bite marks, Stefan will be able to smell them and probably much faster. He is older, has a blood addiction and just happens to be incredibly tuned in to you. He might have been able to ignore what we all suspected that had been going on between you and Damon in the past, but he isn't stupid Elena." She said in a serious tone. Elena stared at Caroline and finally realized exactly what Caroline was doing. She was protecting Stefan. Elena looked down toward the ground and for the first time felt a strong sense of shame wash over her body. Caroline had been involved with Damon once too and even she could see that what Elena was doing was wrong. Sure, Caroline understood why it was so hard for Elena to stop whatever it was that was going on between her and Damon, but at the same time she knew Stefan. He was a good man, but a man that had a serious problem. Elena had used that problem as an out and ran as fast as she could to the arms of the one person that she knew would hurt Stefan the most…his own brother.

"Caroline, are we ready?" Bonnie's voice asked from behind Elena. Elena jumped as she was suddenly jolted from her thoughts and quickly turned and found Bonnie standing behind them with the passenger side door to Caroline's car open. She didn't look at Elena, just stared straight ahead at Caroline as she spoke.

"Yeah, we are just waiting on Damon." Caroline said quickly as she faked a smile. Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"Of course." She mumbled quietly and then turned and finally acknowledged Elena's presence by giving her a painful glare. Elena forced a smile and pretended she didn't notice the anger in Bonnie's eyes.

"Hey Bonnie, um…I was going to go in really quick and grab something from the vending machine, do you want anything?" Elena asked in a slightly shaky voice trying to somehow break the rock hard ice between them. Bonnie gave Elena a sour smile and shook her head.

"No, I'm fine Elena. Guess you are feeling better, huh?" Bonnie asked sarcastically. Elena felt all the blood drain from her face as Bonnie's words hit her. She apparently had not become a good enough liar to even remember the reason she had given for originally letting Damon drag her into the bathroom in the first place. She nodded slowly as she tried to somehow redeem herself.

"Yeah, I guess I am." She said as she realized there was no lie left that would save her from the truth that Bonnie saw inside her. Bonnie simply nodded as she stepped one leg into Caroline's car.

"Well, I guess Damon must have the magic touch." She said sharply and then in a second, disappeared into Caroline's car and shut the door in a slam behind her. Elena looked down and felt guilt and pain move through her at an even faster pace as she realized the full extent of Bonnie's anger with her.

"She'll come around Elena. Let's just get everyone on the road and get Stefan home. We can figure the rest of this drama out once we are home." Caroline soothed as she touched Elena's arm. Elena nodded and faked a smile.

"Alright, we just gotta find Damon and we can get out of here." She said quickly. Caroline smiled and pointed to Damon's car behind them.

"Looks like someone's hungry." Caroline said as she tried to stifle a laugh. Elena turned and saw Damon appear as he closed the trunk of his car. His jet black hair blew gently in the breeze as he moved quickly toward the driver's side door of his car, holding three fresh bags of blood in his right hand. He smirked as he noticed the two women staring at him.

"Come on now ladies, you can talk about how amazing I am later. We have places to go, a broody boy to save, tick tock." He said sarcastically with his blue eyes shining as he opened his door and nodded towards Elena. Elena smiled as she felt her face flush slightly. Caroline smiled and quickly moved toward her car.

"Away we go." Caroline said with a smile as she gave Elena one last warm smile. Elena nodded and then moved to Damon's car and quickly climbed inside. Both cars roared to life and in an instant they took off once again down the long darkened highway.

The closer they came to Florida, the more frantic Elena became. She sat nervously in the passenger seat of Damon's Mustang and tapped her fingernails rhythmically against the cool leather interior. Damon watched her from the corner of his eye, but even as he sensed her pain and confusion he did not speak. He knew that anything they would talk about at this point would only cause more pain for both of them and after everything that had happened recently, he didn't think either one of them had it in them to go through another heartfelt discussion.

In the past week Damon's world had been turned upside down. He had wanted Elena for as long as he could remember and the moment that she had come to him and asked him to help her, he knew he should've said no. He wanted her too much, needed her too much, and cared about her far too much to get involved in any empty relationship that in the end would leave him heartbroken on the sidelines as he watched her ride off into the sunset with his brother. Yet, even though he knew it had been a bad idea, he had done it anyway. He had used the excuse of helping her as a way to have her in the only way he knew he ever could. His brother would love her during the day, holding her hand and whispering sweetly to her as she laughed and he would have her at night. He would hold her body to his, pull satisfied screams of passion from her lips and give her everything that he was. In the end, even though she would continue to want him and crave his touch, she would choose his brother. She would swallow her want for him and slip her hand into Stefan's and leave him even more broken and damaged than he had been when she'd found him.

Sharing a woman with his brother was not an idea that was in any way new to Damon. He had shared Katherine with his brother for far longer than this and even though it had been incredibly painful he had somehow learned to deal with the fact that he was not the only one. Sure, he had clung to the hope that Katherine would choose him in the end, but deep down he knew she would never be satisfied with only one of them. Katherine had wanted it all and now as he looked at Elena who sat nervously beside him, he wondered if she did too.

Katherine and Elena were different in almost every sense of the word. Elena was kindhearted, warm and giving as where Katherine was a cold blooded thief that robbed every man she'd ever met of all that he was and everything he would ever become. The only thing that Elena and Katherine seemed to have in common was the stunning beauty that had taken his breath away when he had laid eyes on them both. But now, as Damon studied Elena from the corner of his eye, he wondered if there was something hiding just under Elena's surface that was much more like Katherine than either one of them cared to admit.

Damon knew why both Katherine and Elena had originally fallen in love with his brother. Stefan was the perfect man, as much as that sickened him to admit. He was charming, caring, tender and the kind of man that any girl would feel lucky to bring home to Mom and Dad. He was romantic and yet slightly mysterious, so he always left a woman wanting just a little bit more. He was the kind of man that every woman wanted to love them, even though they might have sensed a monster might possibly lie just underneath that overly convincing smile of his. He was perfect, but then there was Damon.

Damon also understood why both Katherine and Elena had been drawn to him. Damon was the opposite of everything that Stefan was and that was what had excited them both. He was dangerous, damaged, rough and the kind of man that could talk a woman out of her clothes with a simple sentence. Where Stefan had been romantic and gentle, Damon was passionate and aggressive. He pushed their boundaries of comfort and gave them pleasure that left them trembling and clinging to his body into the faint morning light. He was their every dark fantasy come true, but in the end he was just that. He was a fantasy and as with any dream, fantasies always fade away and the woman eventually wakes up. Stefan they loved, Damon they loved to fuck.

"You, alright?" Elena's voice broke into Damon's thoughts and jarred him back to reality. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and faked a smile through his clenched teeth.

"I'm fine, just trying to think of some sort of a plan to bring baby brother back from the edge once again." Damon said dryly as he stared out over the highway. Elena nodded and let her eyes rise slowly to his face.

"Any ideas?" She asked softly. Damon could tell from the tone of her voice that Florida was the last thing that Elena wanted to talk about right now. What she really wanted to talk about was what had happened in the bathroom an hour before. Damon swallowed as he tried to avoid reading into her emotionally riddled face, the last thing he wanted to do right now is hear more about Elena's confusion and how much she truly cared about him. A man could only handle so much pain and Damon was quickly reaching his limit.

"Well, we just need to get him alone. When he is with Klaus he will be nearly untouchable. Klaus does not travel alone. He will more than likely have his hybrid freaks there and that means we will be out numbered. We need to just get Stefan alone, fill him with enough Vervain to put down a horse and then throw him in the car and hightail it back to Mystic Falls. He's barely been back on human blood for a day now, that shouldn't take long to get out of his system and after that then we can all get back to our lives and forget this whole summer and now fall, ever happened." He said quickly. Elena sighed as she looked down to her lap.

"You really think that's going to work?" She asked carefully. Damon shrugged his shoulders as he wondered what she questioned more, getting Stefan back to normal or getting them back to normal.

"We don't really have a whole lot of options here Elena. I might be strong, but I am not nearly as strong as Klaus and my reinforcements aren't exactly of my choosing. I've got vampire Barbie, a witch that hates me and would gladly sacrifice me to Klaus if it meant she didn't have to see me ever again and then I have…you." He said as his harsh tone softened slightly and he tried to keep his eyes locked on the road. Elena turned slowly and stared at him with anger bordering just at the edges of her eyes.

"And what about me?" She asked in a slightly sharp tone. Damon let out a sigh as he tightened his jaw.

"Well, you, my dear, have a weakness for the accused, so that is going to make all of this even more fun. But, I shouldn't complain, it was me who just earlier this week complained that there wasn't enough excitement in his life. Well here is my fucking excitement." He said coldly. Elena stared at him. She didn't understand what was going on, but it appeared as if Damon had turned to ice in an instant before her. Just a few hours before, she had confessed to him that she was letting his brother go and that she cared too much about him to lose him. She then had begged him to forgive her, ran her mouth over every inch of him she could find and then made love to him in the bathroom of a rest stop while their friends waited outside. But, maybe that was just it; they hadn't just made love in that bathroom. They had fucked…they had fucked and now Damon was pissed and he was pissed at her.

"Damon…I" Elena started, but Damon quickly raised his hand to stop her words. He faked a smile as he shook his head.

"Elena, its fine. We will deal with whatever is going on with us, when we get home. Right now we just need to focus on getting my brother back and cleaning up whatever mess he's created. I don't have the energy to tackle both right now." He said sharply as he focused on the road and ignored the confused brown eyes staring back at him.

"OK…I suppose I can live with that." Elena said slowly as she dropped her gaze once again to her hands. Damon nodded and quickly lifted his hand from the steering wheel.

"There is something that I need you to do for me though before we get there." He said as his gaze finally moved to hers. Elena stared back into the blue eyes that were filled with a million different emotions and yet none of them she seemed to be able to identify.

"What?" She asked hopefully. In that moment she wanted to give him anything to get the look of pain off of his face. Damon sighed and then raised his wrist to his lips. He bit down deeply into his flesh until Elena saw crimson trails begin to snake down the length his forearm.

"You need to drink Elena. It is only going to make things worse if my brother finds those marks on you." He said as he reached across the car toward her. Elena turned her head toward the window and pressed her lips tightly together in a hard line.

"No, Damon. I told you I was keeping them and I meant it." She said quickly as she stared out the window. Damon sighed.

"Elena, please drink. It is not a big deal, you have nothing to prove to me, just drink and then I will have one less problem adding to this fucking nightmare I am living right now." He said as he shoved his arm toward her once again. Elena shook her head and moved further from him once again.

"Damon, I said no and plus I am not trying to prove anything, I just want to keep them." She said flatly as she avoided his eyes. It took a moment, but slowly Damon dropped his arm. There was a small silence and then suddenly she felt his eyes boring into her.

"Elena, why do you want to keep those marks so much?" Damon asked slowly and for the first time since they had been back in the car Elena heard gentleness in his voice that she had missed. Elena sighed and looked down.

"I just…I don't know…I just want them." She whispered. Damon reached his hand over and slipped his fingers under her chin. He turned her face slowly toward his and looked into her eyes. His cobalt blue pools penetrated through her brown eyes and seemed to move to somewhere deep inside of her.

"Elena…the truth please?" He asked in a slightly softer tone. Elena sighed and even though she tried painfully hard to control it, she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Ever since this whole thing started a few days ago, I have had to cover and hide everything about us. I have had to lie to Stefan, lie to my friends and most of all lie to myself. I have had to pretend that whatever it is that we have been doing here was nothing and act as if it didn't even exist. But, it is something Damon and it does exist. It means something to me and I am tired of hiding it. I wanted something to remember it, to remember you…to make it all…real." She said softly as tears began to stream down her cheeks. Damon stared at her for a moment and then swallowed thickly. He slowly released his hand from her face and then turned his eyes back to the road.

"Elena, this has always been real for me. You don't need a mark to remind you that that what we have is real; you just need me. Everything we've ever had has been real for me, always." Damon said softly. Elena nodded as she wiped the tears from her face.

"I'm just afraid Damon. I'm afraid that I'm going to blink and you'll be gone." She said quietly as she once again began to twist her fingers in her lap. Damon slid his hand over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"I'm not going anywhere. When I told you I would never leave you again Elena, I meant it." He said softly as he kept his eyes locked on the road. Elena nodded and squeezed his hand tightly as she tried desperately to believe him.

After an hour of silence that seemed to have lasted an eternity, Damon finally pulled his Mustang into the parking lot of an old warehouse just behind Caroline's red convertible. Bonnie had been tracking Stefan's whereabouts since he had first fled from the Boarding House just two nights before and this was the last place that she had been able to sense him. Elena took in a deep breath as she unfastened her seatbelt and reached for the door when she felt Damon's hand on her arm. She slowly dropped her arm and turned back toward him. Damon pulled her slightly closer to him and slid his hands up and gently cupped her face.

"Whatever happens in there, stay by me, alright?" He asked, but even Elena realized that his question was truly more of a demand.

"Alright." She whispered softly as she stared into his intense blue eyes. Damon nodded and ran his fingers over the soft curve of Elena's now trembling bottom lip.

"I love you, Elena." He whispered softly as he looked into her eyes. Elena's body went rigid in Damon's grasp as his words moved over her in a rush. She felt her body begin to tremble as his confession proved to be far more powerful than she could have expected.

"Damon, I…" She started, but Damon lifted his fingers and pressed them to her lips. He closed his eyes and pushed back the pain that threatened to erupt.

"I love you Elena, but you still love him. I don't want you to say something you don't mean just because you think I need to hear it. I have an eternity on this earth and I am willing to wait for you, for however long it takes. I just needed you to hear it, just once I needed to finally say what I have been feeling for so long." He whispered. Elena nodded as tears began to once again fill her eyes. She wanted to say something, anything to Damon after he had said such meaningful and beautiful words to her, but she found herself sitting before him speechless. She sat perfectly still and held his gaze as she also tried to also hold in the tears that were dangerously close to escaping her eyes.

As the tears finally began to flood down Elena's face a terrifying realization consumed her already tormented mind. Over the past couple of days, Elena had done everything in her power to push Stefan as far from her heart as possible. She had distanced herself from him, hid from him and even went behind his back with his brother as he struggled with a hunger that she would never be able to fully understand. Now, Stefan stood inside that warehouse and even with those cold steel walls between them, she knew deep down that she still truly loved him. She loved him and she had betrayed him, she had betrayed him in a way that she could never take back. She had betrayed him, by falling in love with his brother.

Elena focused her teary eyes on the man that now sat in front of her. She stared into the icy blue pools of life that had just confessed to her, what she had been feeling for longer than she cared to admit. Now, however, as she stared at Damon's beautiful face she could not lie to herself anymore. She was in love with Damon. She loved him in a way that she thought she could never love another person after she had met Stefan. She loved him truly, she loved him deeply and she loved him with everything that she was even though those same parts of her also loved the brother that waited on the other side of that steel wall.

Elena closed her eyes as the full truth of her spiraling thoughts and realizations moved through her body. She bit down on her lip and for the first time realized that her worst nightmare had come true. She had become the very thing that she had spent the last year running desperately from…she had become her. Slowly, Elena opened her eyes and even though he didn't move or speak, she knew that Damon could hear her thoughts as if he were hearing them out loud. The last thing Elena heard screaming in her mind before she finally opened the door to step out and meet her fate, were the haunting words Katherine had spoken just a few months before... "It's okay to love them both, I did."

Please read and review! OK, so I know this chapter wasn't smutty, but I really couldn't think of a good place to add smut here without completely just saying screw the story lol. Please don't be mad at me everyone for Elena admitting she loved them both. I was trying to stay true to Elena's character and I seriously think that Elena would feel this way at least at first. There is no way that she is just going to fall out of love with Stefan in a few days and then just ride off into the sunset with Damon. There are going to be emotions and transitions and confusion I think. Just so you all know though, I will be wrapping this story up in a few chapters, but I was thinking about doing a sequel because I think that once part of this is resolved a whole new set of issues are going to come up and that would fit better in its own story…what do you ladies think? Thank you for reading, please read and review and let me know what you think! -Nikki (Click the button below, please read and review, it inspires me!)