Author's note: First, I wanted to say WOW! The reviews and responses that I have received from the last chapter absolutely blew me away! You have no idea how wonderful it made me feel to hear from so many people. I am really hoping that I hear from everyone of you more often. I tried to reply to everyone, but some people don't have accounts. If I skipped over you, I apologize – I didn't realize.

Second, I was so happy by the response that I made this chapter double the normal size! This is my way of saying THANKS! Okay – Edward's time in Italy is now here. The countdown is on! My goal is to finish this before the movie comes out. Enjoy.

20. Begging to be Ash

The woods had grown like a jungle during the summer months. But it was warm, something that doesn't happen many months out of the year in Forks. We were taking advantage of it. Bella was sitting on a large boulder, the sun peering through the clouds and through the canopy of the trees and lighting her translucent skin. She was magnificent, beautiful, beyond words. Her hair glistened in the light, the red tint shining like a halo. She was an angel. She had a flower in her hand, twirling it between two fingers, the yellow petals spinning wildly back and forth. The smile grew on her face as I stalked the shadows around her. She looked up through her eyelashes which were casting long shadows across her rosy cheeks.

"He loves me," she picked a petal off as her eyes followed me. "He loves me not," she pouted and yanked another petal free.

"He loves you," I whispered and came up from behind her and kissed her neck. It was so hard to do this, to remember to be gentle, though she leaned back into me in trust. I gulped in the air like it was a magic potion.

"He loves me," she murmured back, her cheek leaning in to my face at her shoulder.

She tossed the flower to the ground and turned around to face me full on. Then, she kissed me full on the mouth, her arms wrapping around me and with her heart pounding against my chest.

Was that her last thought? He loves me not? Was that why she jumped? Of course it was. It was my fault. Entirely and completely. In my memory she was just as I remembered. Perfect, flawless. What she was now…I couldn't imagine. The ache in my chest pulsed like an open wound. I felt broken as a piece of me descended through me, falling, plummeting through me – leaving me forever. Surely this much pain would be accompanied by death? I tried desperately to see through the haze of pain that was taking me over.

"Ci sarà lo sbarco in venti minuti," I heard a stewardess announce in Italian over the intercom. I could feel the plane lowering in the sky. "We will be landing in ten minutes," she then repeated in English.

There were only two other passengers on the plane. I pulled a few strings at the airport for a more comfortable flight. Though honestly, nothing could have made this flight comfy. My skull hit the head rest. This had been the worst flight of my life. Memories swan in my head, over and over. Intermingling and reminding me of all of my mistakes. Because that was all I did – make mistake after mistake. I had her in my grasp, in my arms and she accepted me wholly for what I was. There would never be anyone better. And I wasted her. I left her and it cost her her life.

I was more than the monster, I realized. There were no words for what I was now. But soon, very soon, I would join her. This is reminiscent of Romeo and Juliet, I thought dryly. Dying because you couldn't live without the other. Romantic, even. Well, in theory. There was nothing romantic about what I was about to do: giving myself over to the Volturi, begging them to kill me. This was a moment of shame – of need. I needed death so savagely it burned in my bones.

Each second I relived our final moments together, and each second I imagined a different scenario where she lives. It was torture. What if she had never cut her finger? What if Jasper held his breath in time? What if I had just turned Bella – or had Carlisle do it? Or what if I never left in the first place? That was all I had left now: what if's. I'd forever be without the answers that I desperately required and wanted. The past was over. All I had was the future and there wouldn't be much of that left once I arrive in Volterra.

The wheels planted firmly on the ground, a small jolt knocked me to my senses. I was here. Italy. Only moments away from the end. I lifted the shade over my window to see the twilight grounds. It was night here, and the lights of the airport were bright in the blackness. Soon, I'd be walking to my death. One more permanent, I added in full measure.

As the plane moved toward the airport I closed my eyes, trying to fight back against the images in my head. But they were so clear, burning, tearing at my insides.

The mound of earth would be covered in faux grass while family and friends gathered around the burial site. The dark wooden casket would be laced with flowers, overflowing on both sides. Slowly, the coffin would be lowered into the dirt. As each loved one walked by, they would drop roses into the open grave. Alice would be standing over the opening, the tears unable to flow from her face. Grief, pain. She'd look up in horror, her normal blank face.

She'd see my plan. She'd see it all and I felt sorry about that.

My eyes snapped open as if they were shades pulled too tight. Things will never be the same. For anyone. Bella was gone and I would soon follow. My family would no longer have to deal with the brooding old man, for that was what I was no matter my appearance. Who would have known that happiness was in ashes? My ashes?

Each motion now was zombie-like. Exiting the plane, moving through customs, leaving the large building, and getting into a cab. It was so surreal. My orders were clear to the cab driver: "Take me to Volterra."

The driver only nodded into the rearview mirror as he took in my black eyes, my pale face, my straight jaw. His mind screamed dangerous and he was right. But soon, I would no longer be inflicting myself onto this world. The pain would soon end. All of it and the only thing left would be the thick oily purple smoke billowing in the Mediterranean air.

Outside the city, lights were flooding into the night like huge spotlights. The buildings were old and made of brown stone. The cobble streets and sidewalks were running from east to west and north to south, though there was obviously no city planning when each lane was added. Many lights were flickering like candles down the lanes, illuminating the path for the few pedestrians still out this evening. Vendors were beginning to close shop and lights were being turned off in the small windows all down the lane where the cab stopped. Silvery moonlight was bathing the sun bleached stones.

"Trenta Euro," the man barked over his shoulder. I dropped more than that in the passenger seat and sprang from the backseat, eager to be meeting the Volturi.

Please forgive me, I thought silently to Alice. Maybe she already saw the ending – the result I'm hoping for. My next plan was not so thoroughly thought out, but I figured walking right in would get their attention. Sifting through the thoughts of those around me I could easily count twenty-three vampires in a mile radius. They were everywhere. The scent was strong on the wind, and surely they would catch my scent soon.

…the delicious selection of blood we will be able to choose from tomorrow…

…Demetri better be on his best behavior tomorrow…

…maybe one day there will be a Saint Felix Day…

The calendar flipped through my head quickly, and with confirmation from the minds around me, tomorrow would be the perfect day to ask for death and the perfect day to give them a reason to kill me if they refused tonight. Tomorrow is Saint Marcus Day: when the city was finally rid of all vampires. If only they knew…. My brain wondered from mind to mind, leading me to where the leaders were. Their guard was large in number and I would have to find a way past them, or let them kill me. That would be okay with me. That was what I wanted the most. The blackness, the nothingness of death.

A memory crashed down on me as my mind wondered uselessly to the past.

The clouds were thick in the sky, familiar. The sweet voice sang through the moist air. "Edward! Come out come out where ever you are!" She giggled.

I smiled in the darkness of the woods, my footsteps silent to the human ear.

She crouched and circled the small meadow, our meadow. She tried to look fierce, her face only showing the aggression of a tiny kitten. "Meow," I whispered in the shadows.

Bella jumped and turned in my direction. "There you are. Come here so I can attack you!" she made her hands into claws and clawed at the air. She was so cute.

I jumped into the nearest tree and let the branch hang over her head. She spun in a quick circle. "Now, now, Edward. That's not fair," she giggled again.

I landed softly behind her, not making a sound and pulled her up into my embrace. Careful, gentle, I had to remind myself. She jumped but then laughed like a little kid. "I found you," I breathed in her ear.

"You did."

Never again would I hear her sweet voice, her whimsical giggle or her smiling, joyful face. The memory was just another small moment in time of the joy we shared together. We laughed and played all summer long and in one moment of absolute terror – of fear – I let her go. In the end what good did I actually do? Absolutely none. Though I'd never suspect her to be the one to commit suicide, she did. Alice warned me, that she would hurt so badly that this was a possibility if I killed myself. That was why I lived and suffered all these months – so she would live her life too. But now it was all over, for both of us. Now I could end my suffering, just as Bella did.

My steps were quick and silent against the stone as I moved toward a towering stone building, like a castle. It seemed only right that those who thought themselves as royal would live lavishly. The doors were a thick dark wood. They looked ancient and easy penetrable, but I knew better as the light hum of thoughts were only inches behind, guarding. Through the eyes of one of the guards, I noticed a large vampire, the size of Emmett. His eyes were deeply red. The thoughts of the one I was staring at was thinking of the events of the next day. He was excited, thrilled about the large number of humans that will be herded in to take a 'tour' of the castle. The other vampire was listening through the door, hearing my steady lung movement, taking in my scent. It was one he didn't recognize and the two glanced at each other knowingly.

Their thoughts didn't stop me from opening the double doors and striding in. I knew it was coming before it happened, but I just let happen. They both took a hold of my arms and I didn't fight.

This one has no fight, the vampire named Felix thought with a cocky smile.

"You are not allowed beyond this point," the vampire named Demetri informed me in a deeply authoritative voice, taking both of my arms behind my back as Felix stepped away to exam me. There was no physical pain in this.

I turned my gaze toward Demetri and said in a severely resonating voice, "I need to see Aro." I was absolutely serious, and they could tell.

Felix chuckled and I turned swiftly to take in his long cloak and dusty pallor. "And you think that you can just waltz in here and disturb our master?" he asked in faux scorn.

He has a death wish, Demetri thought merrily. He had no idea. "I should just tear you apart now."

I shrugged and Felix growled at my casualness. Disrespectful little… and he began to move forward to take his imagination and make it a reality. Demetri smiled at him, nodded and gripped me tighter. Still, I didn't fight.

This is not going to be nearly as fun compared to when they fight back. Demetri thought wistfully.

"Now, now, gentleman," a poisonously sweet voice of a child spoke from the shadows. Her face peered through the darkness – though I could see her clearly in the shadows – to show her blonde hair, her crimson eyes and her half smile which was full of menace. "Let me have some fun, too," she giggled, though the sound was not that of a child but of a fierce vampire. I want to watch him squirm. Her cheeks widened in a self satisfying smile.

How did I get here? I wondered stupidly, to this juncture in my life? What went so wrong? I was an idiot because I couldn't handle her forgiveness that Alice so thoroughly predicted, I answered. This could have ended so differently – I could have prevented this! But now I was far beyond gone. I was lost and I could never go home. Home was…dead. I watched as the three vampires converged on me. They weren't just going to kill me; they were going to torture me. Deep inside I knew that I deserved every last pain that they would inflict on me. How could I ever imagine that I merited something as mild as death? It would be nothing to what I was already feeling. As my eyes reflected in the gluttonously red eyes of the vampires before me I could hardly remember the look of my own eyes. They were black, no gold left.

Jane always has to ruin our fun, Felix looked over his shoulder, though his face showed none of his thoughts. He suddenly pictured Jane's last victim and I might have stared at her in horror for a fraction of a second because her lips twitched as if she knew my thoughts.

Jane sauntered forward, her finger came out and traced my cheek and I wanted to bite her fingers off. "That's too bad that we are going to kill you," she said thoughtfully, "You are very good looking." I felt nothing but absolute disgust as her eyes trailed to my backside.

Suddenly, I didn't want these three to kill me. I wanted the Volturi to do it, after I asked them to. They would make it quick. I didn't want to stay on this planet any longer. All I wanted was it to end so I could be with Bella, not stay and be tortured physically and mentally.

Pain, so excruciating I thought my head would explode ripped through my muscles, down my legs as I crumpled to the floor. Physical pain is not one I had dealt with in the past, and the feeling was more unpleasant than I would have thought. There was a lull in the pain and I looked up at the vampires before me as Jane smiled pensively, Felix scowled in anger for losing his fun and Demetri gave me a fierce glare.

"Felix. Demetri." I choked in protest, "take me to Aro and then you can have your fun with me." I begged.

Felix and Demetri exchanged a questioning glance. How does he know our names? they both thought.

"Because I can read your mind!" I shouted, getting to my feet. Immediately I was on the ground, the painful splinters rushing through my body again. I was hot then cold and I felt as if I was being stretched and played with like I was a guitar string.

What game is he playing? Jane thought as she lowered herself to the ground where I was at. What's my name, vampire?

"Jane," I breathed, regaining composure, or as much as you can on the ground being tortured. She frowned.

"That's enough," ordered a voice from a vampire so old you could hear the power radiating from every syllable. Jane's smile slide from her face. "Bring him upstairs," Aro pointed to Demetri and Felix.

"Yes master," they said together and immediately I looked over to where Aro stood. He was easy to recognize from Carlisle's mind.

Demetri yanked me from the floor while Felix led the way. We reached a set of stairs and began ascending them quickly. The stone was cleaned meticulously and shined through the clear coating. Medieval torches were hung from the walls and lit to illuminate our path to the second floor of the castle. We passed it and continued to the third and then to the final and fourth floor. The room was massive and the ceiling towered above us. All the light was from the fire. During the day light would come from the rectangle windows at the ceiling to light the floor below. All the while Demetri and Felix were intrigued now that I showed them I had a gift and were even a little impressed.

It will only be a moment before I find out why he is here, but I am hoping it is so he can join us. Aro smiled to himself. I can already imagine how useful his gift would be. If he is telling the truth. Oh, how I miss Eleazar.

As we approached a set of wide wooden doors I could hear the thoughts of other vampires on the other side. The other two Volturi were in there, Caius and Marcus, along with the other guard members. Caius was highly irritated by Aro, who insisted that he go downstairs to greet the stranger who said he could read minds. Marcus was not irritated, but not happy either. He was just…there. Two guards on the inside heard our approach and opened the doors to admit us.

I could hear Demetri's thoughts from behind me. All of this for a vampire who claims to read minds. Aro already has that power. I just don't see the significance. I looked over my shoulder to see his serene expression. Did you hear that? I nodded with no expression. He doesn't even have to be touching your skin. He thought in amazement.

It was true; my talent would be of great interest to this group. That had slipped my mind when I was planning my trip here. Though, I am not in my right mind, anyway. Desperately I hoped that Alice wasn't close to Italy. If they found someone with her talent they may never let go. Aro was possessive and from and what I could tell he had a vampire with great talents at breaking bonds and encouraging bonds, also: Chelsea.

"Ah! Caius, Marcus!" greeted Aro. Marcus barely looked up in interest while Caius burned holes through my skull with his angry glare. "Look who I brought?" he gestured toward me before turning my direction. "Why have you come here?" Then he shook his head to quiet me before I spoke and then held his hand out for me to take. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to read me. Carlisle had told me about how powerful his gift was. He could not only hear your thoughts with touch, but every thought you have ever had. I hesitated. I didn't want him to see all of my intimate moments with Bella. "I won't bite," he chuckled and I reached out and he snatched my hand up eagerly.

Suddenly I was thrust into the weirdest sensation ever. I bowed my head as he mentally probed my mind, like he was clawing into my head, hunting for information like drilling a screw into it or like a thorny vine weaving its way to sunlight. My life came rushing across Aro's eyes and I watched along with him like it was a movie: my change by Carlisle, my denial of human blood and then my betrayal against Carlisle as I left and hunted those who I thought should be killed. He absorbed the scenes before him as I came crawling back to Carlisle for forgiveness in which he accepted. He surveyed me as each of the Cullen's came into my life, and each of their precious gifts. My mind was weighted with memories of a vast number of years. Aro concentrated mainly on the past two years. Many of the images were vertigo inducing. He saw when I met Bella, the human, and my strong desire to drink her blood. He engulfed the images of James and of me leaving Bella, to me chasing Victoria and finally to Bella's death and my journey here. He dropped my hand and gasped.

"That was…" he took in an unnecessary breath, "absorbing. To see and hear not only your thoughts, but all the thoughts you've heard around you. What a special ability you have! I am most intrigued by Alice. True seers are rare."

I nodded slowly, not sure how to react to him. "I was hoping you could help me, Aro."

"Yes," Aro frowned. "I don't know if I could allow that." Now that I've seen what he can do... His gift has been flawless besides the girl he comes here to die for. I wonder if I could read her thoughts, he mused, guess we'll never know…

I flinched at his thoughts. He would never find out because she would never have a thought again. I grimaced. Caius came forward and placed a hand on Aro's shoulder. "What is this all about?"

"Dear brother, Edward here has the ability to read minds without touching," he chuckled.

Caius blanched and actually tried to guard his thoughts. "And you invite him into our castle so he can learn pertinent information about us?"

"Calm, Caius. Edward wants us to end his life."

"Why?" he asked in disbelief. Why would he want death so brutally that he would come here for our help? He saw me staring at him and he began thinking about irrelevant topics. He learned fast, just like Alice.

"He fell in love with a human whose blood sings to him and she is now dead."

Not even a Cullen could say not to that kind flavor, Caius grinned.

Marcus finally showed some interest as his eyes snapped up to meet mine and for the first time I probed his mind and looked through his eyes. Didyme, he sighed internally. It was an oddly strange sensation because he could see auras around people, each of them different colors. I remembered briefly something that Carlisle told me about Marcus. "Aro killed Marcus' mate, which was actually Aro's sister, Didyme. He was hoping she would have a gift like his, instead she only provided happiness to those around her. Aro killed her to prevent Marcus from leaving Volterra with her when they fell in love. Marcus has never been the same since. But what is even more ironic, and horrible about it is that he can see other's relationships by the color of their aura as it interacts with those around."

I stared at Marcus in pity then, understanding how he must be feeling. I wondered if he ever begged for death to take him, like I was about to. Through his sight I could see the color of my aura. It was black. I wondered what the colors meant, but I had a feeling that black wasn't good. I didn't expect anything else, really.

"La tua cantante?" questioned Caius. "Impossible!"

"Do not think of me as a fool," Aro chided, his voice resonating its full authority, all joking gone. "Edward is sincere in his request and his reasons."

"Please," I whispered, the infinite sadness echoed in my voice. I would have gotten down on my hands and knees and begged if I thought it would do me any good.

"Edward, my dear boy, please give us a few moments to talk," he said as he pointed toward Felix and Demetri. "Take him to the museum." That should be far enough he can't hear our thoughts.

"It will be," I told him in an assured matter. All eyes turned to our exchange with curiosity.

"You really have a truly amazing talent," Aro said delightedly and clapped his hands together before gesturing for us to leave.

Once inside the museum down the street I wondered aimlessly with Demetri and Felix at my back the whole time. The Volturi owned this building for more revenue. It was not open at this hour and the place was deserted and rang with silence. Long splendid halls broke off in two directions. In the guard's minds they were contemplating the fact of having me join them forever with my talent. They had already overcome the fact that Aro could read all of their thoughts with a single touch, but to add a stranger to the mix who could read their thoughts from a distance scared them both enough that they were praying that the outcome would be my death. I was siding with them.

An hour passed as I read the history of Volterra. The history was not as violent was one might think with vampires firmly in control of the city. There were rules, from what Carlisle told me, that prevented any vampire to feed in the city. I had also heard stories from many covens of the Volturi guards enforcing those rules. Jasper had always been thoroughly worried about them finding out about a human knowing of our existence. Maybe this knowledge will give them a reason to kill me, I just hoped they left my family alone. For a moment, I panicked about that. I had to make sure the Aro understood that my family had nothing to do with it, and that if they wanted to get revenge, they should kill me. Mostly, though, I hoped that they would finish me off before my family showed up in an attempt to rescue me. It was inevitable.

Poor Alice. She'd see it all.

As time ticked on another guard member came into the museum, as smoothly as if he were dancing, to inform Felix and Demetri it was time to bring me back. The guard caught my gaze and thoughts began crowding behind his eyes. The Volturi had made a decision. I tried to read the answer but the guardsmen had no idea what the outcome would be. Aro learned quickly.

My steps were quick as we moved down the street. The sun was struggling to make it into the sky and the grounds were still dark. Time meant nothing to me anymore. More time elapsed than I previously realized. Some vendors were back for the day, readying themselves for Saint Marcus day. It was ironic that everyone would be celebrating a vampire free city, though they were lurking in every corner. The cloaks of the men around me billowed in the morning air as they made almost soundless footsteps toward the four-story building that held the Volturi. Their long dark shadows from the street lamps rippled over the ground.

Some of the torches had been extinguished due to the morning sun slowly peeking into the windows. The whole building looked different in the daylight. More real. If they had decided to kill me, I could not hear it in their thoughts. They were careful at clouding what they wanted to hide from me. What was their decision? If death awaited me behind the double doors I wanted to be thinking about my Bella. She was all I wanted in my head when things ended. Her imagine. I let myself get sucked away into a memory as we made our way up the stairs.

The antique wooden table in the dining room was not the object of focus of the many vampires that were surrounding it. One human, Bella, was sitting at the end table, her chair leaning back slightly as her eyes peeked over the top of the cards in her hand.

"No cheating, Alice!" Bella chided her with a smile. "I mean it!"

All eyes were on the beautiful brown-eyed girl at the end of the table. All of their intrigue and love spilled from the thoughts of the vampires. Jasper had a huge grin on his face and threw a chip in the middle of the table. "All right, let's see those cards, Swan!"

Bella smirked, her cheeks slightly flushed before she laid her cards down on the table for them to see. "It's a boat!" she exclaimed.

Jasper's smiled turned to a frown and he put his cards down. "You win!"

I reached under the table to grab Bella's hand that was in her lap. She accepted gratefully and smiled her special smile my direction. What everyone in the room didn't know was that I had won, to have someone as special as Bella.

The memory was eating me from the inside. If tears would have come, my face would be soaked with them. I should have never of left…

"Edward!" Aro exclaimed cheerfully as the doors opened. I desperately wished to be back in my head, where Bella was still alive and well. There just weren't enough memories to last me. "We have a proposition for you. I have to admit, I have never had someone ask me what you have requested. Not many of our kind want to commit suicide. None, really…well, besides Carlisle. He tried and failed numerous times before accepting who he was."

Immediately I picked the thoughts out of Marcus' head. The decision was no. Frustration and bitter disappointment welled up inside me as I drew in a deep shuddering breath and sighed heavily. "Let's hear it."

"Well, I was hoping we could change your mind by offering you a place with us. You're talents would be very useful. We would like you to join our guard," he gestured to the vampires with their long cloaks on. They were dark colors and represented something great in their minds. Each of them was proud and several of them shot me covetous glances. Caius made a disgusted sound and Aro silenced him by raising a hand in the air.

Years of controlling my face came to my rescue as I stood there quit still as the impact of these words hit me. Rage boiled to the surface. All I came here for was death and he offers me life as a…

Before you speak, listen to me. We could offer you things beyond your life, now. Surely animal blood is diminishing your gift. We'd make sure you had a proper meal and we'd work on striving to extend your gifts beyond what they are now.

I scowled at the ground.

Or you could continue your diet, he thought with revulsion, an expression of great distaste on his face. Either way, please accept a place here with us.

Jane stared at me with a murderous gaze. "But, Master –" Aro put a hand up to stop her.

"Hum, let me think about that," I said in a mock thoughtful voice. A reckless daring seized me. It was either an emphatic verbal exit or slapping Jane across the face for effect. I choose the first. "Honestly, the whole idea is repugnant, Aro." I replied with much sarcasm, hoping my words would make him change his mind. His face slackened like air was being let out of his head before he gained his composure. "Sorry, but my answer is no. How anyone would want to live in this castle and be your slave and call you their master is beyond me. As a matter-of-fact I think the whole idea of being your private radio is ghastly." I spit each word. Demetri came up behind me and grabbed my arms, holding them at my lower back. "It amazes me that you are able to keep all these guardsmen here. Oh wait, you have Chelsea for that!" I snapped. Felix ran over to me and slammed me to the ground by my throat. Kill me now, I thought while looking him full in the face. He was literally incandescent with rage.

I knew this was a bad idea, Caius thought cynically and slightly angry. He didn't flinch under my words though as he continuously sat on his 'throne' like an ancient sentinel.

Marcus took no interest in anything that was going on. His mind was on other things as he sat so still you'd think he was carved from ice.

I steamrollered on. "How does it feel," I added defiantly through gritted teeth as Felix held me there, waiting for orders, "to know that the only reason you are here, the only reason you care for the Volturi is because someone formed the bond for you. It's practically against your will and you don't even know it," I laughed humorlessly. A whole new vista of thoughts opened up at my words. Felix, hair disheveled and face contorted with rage, squeezed my windpipe enough that I couldn't speak anymore and my next retort was quickly lost. That didn't matter; Jane was on her way to finish the job without waiting for commands. She loved her master dearly; I could have picked it straight out of her convoluted mind.

Clever, but I see through it, Edward. "That's enough," roared Aro, his voice might have rivaled a freezer. Jane was about to break into a storm of protests but Aro cut her off. "He's playing us, don't you see? He wants us to kill him. I thought it might be that way," his lips turned down. All facades and pretenses disappeared. "But I know what you are thinking, Edward. I know what you have planned. I implore you to see reason – please – join us and forget this nonsense." See sense, Edward.

I got to my feet as my eyes roamed around the room, to all the vampires who could easily tear me apart but refused because of stupid orders. Each thought that I plucked from their minds only held contempt for me. They were upset that I was asked to join or staring at me in disbelief that I refused – even worse – that I was antagonistic toward the Volturi. The proudest ones showed the expression of loathing on their face, unable to hide their disgust. The wives of the Volturi stayed silently behind the guard. There was a hum in the air of the recent shock at my words.

Jane continued to glare at me venomously. "We should kill him now for being disrespectful," she said with a sense of jittery anticipation. She moved toward me, about to burn me under her torturous gaze. There was a murmur of general agreement.

"Not yet, my dear. To kill him would be wasteful. He still might see reason," Aro grabbed her shoulder. "If he goes through with his plans you will have your fun." It was a promise, though his thoughts were doubtful. He didn't believe I would do anything that would merit them killing me. He knew my beliefs.

In that moment, I knew that I would have to do something outlandish where they would have to kill me immediately to prevent the onlookers from seeing what the Volturi desperately wanted to keep secret. Today would be perfect with the massive crowds. Ideas soared in my head and I gave the Volturi nothing but a blank stare. "May I go now?" I raised an eyebrow. I was at the end of my emotional endurance.

"Of course."

I turned on my heel and marched out of the room, absolutely livid. All I wanted was death, it shouldn't be so complicated! I hurtled down the stairs and shot through the front door like a rocket.

"Felix? Demetri? Keep an eye on him while he's in the city," Aro commanded once I was outside.

The streets began filling with pedestrians, innocents. Many of them were draped with red and sporting costumes of the vampire persuasion. Normally this would have made me laugh; instead I only felt my deep sadness. It was time to make plans. I desperately hoped my family had stayed away. They would fight against me and against the Volturi. Only one life should be lost today and that should be mine. Really – what kind of life was it, anyway?

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Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Lolafalana is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of New Moon. No copyright infringement is intended.