Roy drove to the hospital with an air of purpose. He gripped the steering wheel with more force than needed. He was in an emotional whirlpool, annoyed with his wife, scared that he had lost a valued friendship, relieved that he was finally going to see Johnny, angry with himself for not sticking by his best friend and worried that Johnny may reject him. No matter what was about to happen he was prepared to accept the outcome of his visit, so he thought.
"Come on Johnny, one more step" Kirk called enthusiastically.
"You're taking one more step towards your squad" Tom Wheeler added with encouragement.
Johnny was grimacing, sweat beaded on his forehead and he was breathing like he had just run a marathon. His face was a mask of determination as he took small steps between the parallel bars, but unlike the previous day he was not holding onto the bars.
"You're doing it Johnny you're doing it" yelled Kirk smiling with pride for his friend's achievement.
Roy watched unnoticed from the doorway. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched Johnny take each step. Tom Wheeler and Kirk stood either side of Johnny mimicking his steps. They were in uniform and Kirk had his HT swinging around his wrist. Guilt tore at Roy's heart seeing these two young men find time, even while they worked, for Johnny. He flushed with embarrassment.
He turned away from the room and slowly walked down the hallway with his head bowed. Johnny didn't need to be reminded that Roy had failed him; he needed strength and encouragement from his friends. He had missed his opportunity to be a part of Johnny's triumph and it hurt deep in his heart. He only had himself to blame and now he would have to live with it. He knew even if he did repair the friendship it would never be the same having missed such an important part of Johnny's life.
Dixie watched Roy walk away, part of her wanting to take Roy by the shoulders and shake him and tell him to get in that room and help Johnny but she stopped herself. She had Johnny to think about and his state of mind, he needed positive reinforcement only. Roy would have to wait until Johnny was at a point in his recovery that he would be able to cope with the conflicting emotions that would come with their reunion as friends.
Roy sat in his car running the scene of Johnny walking and Tom and Kirk encouraging him, over in his mind. That should have been him and he so wanted it to be him but he had lost that right and for the first time he saw what he had thrown away to keep his wife happy. He thought about Joanne's words from last night and then ran other comments from the past few months over in his mind. He had allowed himself to be manipulated into thinking that his family life would suffer if he gave his partner his time. He didn't know how he was ever going to face Johnny again and the tears that had threatened to fall as he watched his friend's achievements finally fell.
Johnny made his way back to his room. He was so tired he could hardly lift his hand to wipe away the sweat from his stinging eyes, but it was a good kind of tiredness. Dixie pushed his chair into his room "I'll help you shower" she told him as she grabbed his clothes to change into.
"That's ok Dix Mike will be here soon and he can help me" he said as he let her help him into one of the chairs in his room.
"You sure? "she said suspiciously, knowing it embarrassed him when Dixie saw him naked.
"Yes I'm sure. He should be here soon. He's bringing lunch" Johnny tried to reassure her that he would not be trying to shower alone.
"Good." She bent down and patted his face "You did so well today. I'm so proud of you" she kissed his cheek. Johnny smiled up at this beautiful woman he loved and owed so much to.
He choked out "Thanks Dix".
"Will you be alright till Mike gets here?"
"Yeah I'm just going to rest. I'm pretty tired."
"Ok then...drink some water" she pointed to his jug of water, the ice had melted but it still looked cold. Johnny nodded and Dixie left the room still pondering over Roy's appearance.
Mike arrived shortly after Dixie left and helped Johnny shower and change before eating lunch. He was concerned by how tired Johnny was til Johnny told him what he had achieved this morning.
"Oh Johnny that's so good" he said admiring the courage of his young friend. "So Tom Wheeler helped this morning" Mike said a little surprised.
"Yeah he and Kirk were on duty so they came and helped me. They stayed available from Rampart" explained Johnny. He and Tom had come to an understanding with Kirk's help. Kirk had the ability to make the worst of enemies negotiate. Tom said that Kirk had missed his calling that he should have been a politician.
"Each day it will get easier" he told Mike, and along with that came a growl from within Johnny's stomach. "It's been doing that a lot lately" he said as he patted his stomach.
"Well it needs to make up for all those missed meals" Mike joked as he unpacked lunch. They sat in silence eating. Johnny liked Mike; he never had to put on an act in front of Mike because he never passed judgement. The table was cleared and Mike laid out all the paperwork to be used for the report. It took them a couple of hours but the report was completed and both men sat back and sighed with satisfaction.
"I brought some books I bought in New York. Thought you might like to read them" Mike said as he handed the books to Johnny.
Johnny read the titles "South Of No North, The Onion Fields" thanks Mike. "I love reading. Cap says it broadens my horizons" Johnny said chuckling.
Mike smiled, knowing how true it was in Johnny's case. He had noticed little things around the station. How Johnny experienced some things for the first time, even though he tried to hide his naivety, which he and his shift mates had grown up with and took for granted.
They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and Mike helping Johnny with his various exercises. Cap arrived so Mike made his exit knowing Johnny wasn't alone. He couldn't help but feel for his young friend spending day after day in the small room. He also couldn't help but smile as he was leaving listening to Johnny enthusiastically tell Cap about walking without holding onto the bars. As Mike walked down the hallways of the hospital he thought about Roy and what he was missing. How could he not want to spend time with Johnny? Johnny's spirit always energised his soul. He couldn't help but think that Roy was not the man he thought he was and it troubled him to think that life around the station was never going to be the same.
"How would you like to go see a movie?" Cap asked Johnny.
"For real?" exclaimed Johnny.
"Yep, Dr Brackett said there's no reason why you can't go out for short periods as long as you don't try to do anything" he explained and couldn't help but smile at Johnny. Such a simple outing made him excited. "So, what would you like to see?" he asked.
"I'd like to see American Graffiti" he answered hoping it was the kind of film Cap liked.
"Sounds good, let's get you organised" Cap stood up and started gathering Johnny's jacket and opened the wheelchair.
"It will be good when I don't have to use that" Johnny said sombrely.
"Soon Johnny, soon" Cap patted Johnny on the shoulder as he started to push him out of the room. "That light is getting closer Johnny."
Johnny nodded in agreement and left all his emotions associated with his recovery in his room. He was going to enjoy the movie and savour the taste of normal life.