AN: thanks for the reviews! This is a longer chapter so rejoice! Also I can't remember if Gideon's age was ever stated in the books (if it was please tell me!) so for the purposes of this story Gideon is three years older than Gabriel and Tatiana (who I keep forgetting about) is two years younger. Enjoy and please keep reviewing!

Lyrics & title from Hand Me Down by the Wallflowers.

You've been used by an army of kings
You've been touched by the lips of a queen
Now we've all made good use of you
But you won't be needed again

Tessa lay down on her bed but knew it was no good. Too much had happened today and though her body ached for sleep she knew it wouldn't come. She thought about sneaking back down to the healing room but Will had warned her never to interrupt a warlock while he was working. She tried several times to leave but every time she did Gabriel, bloodied and pale, or Gideon, red faced with anger, strode into her thoughts and chased all hopes of distraction away. Also once or twice her thoughts were interrupted by a faceless boy she knew was Christopher Morgenstern.

She was about to give up and resign herself to a night of gazing hopelessly at the ceiling when there was a knock at the door. She sat up, "Jem?" she called.

The door opened and Will raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, I see how it is; you two get engaged and suddenly forget about me. I suppose I'll have to form a new friendship with Cyril. Or perhaps Six Fingered Nigel will have me back..." he said sullenly.

Tessa snorted, "Don't be so childish, Will. We wouldn't forget you." She wasn't entirely sure what made her say that, perhaps it was just that she was tired and couldn't be bothered to deal with Will's sarcasm. But perhaps it was the fact that she saw a hint of truth in Will's deep blue eyes.

He beamed, leaning on the door frame. "Oh I know. After all who could?"

"You may as well come in then," Tessa said. Will nodded and shut the door quietly before making his way across the room and throwing himself dramatically onto the bed beside her.

"I can't sleep." He stated matter-a-factly.

"Evidently," Tessa muttered wryly. For a few moments Will stared at her then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Why are you here, Will?" Tessa asked curiously.

He shrugged, "I can't sleep and you can't sleep. I thought we could not sleep together." He smiled and she smiled back and they lapsed into silence.

Then Tessa asked something, something that had been bothering her. "Will? This might sound a little rude but when Gabriel was brought in you seemed so desperate to help. I've only ever seen you that worried about Jem. Or maybe me." Tessa immediately regretted asking.

Will sat up and looked at her, his eyes wide. He looked heartbroken and for a few moments he seemed to be struggling to think of a reply and Tessa opened her mouth to say something, anything to end Will's torment. But then he swallowed and asked, shakily. "Is that truly how you think of me, Tess?"

Tessa shook her head hurriedly, "No! Will I-"

But he stopped her from continuing by raising a hand. "No, don't apologise Tessa. It would seem wrong." He sighed again and looked away, out of the window at the night sky. "I've realised how much I've lost because of that silly curse. And Gabriel may be a pompous spoilt brat but with a father like that...I suppose I feel a little sorry for him. And it would be a shame for him to die without realising what a complete evil sod his father is." Will added with a grin.

Tessa nodded and shook her head. "For a minute there I thought you had finally decided to take life seriously, Will."

Will snorted, "I can assure you, Tessa that I take everything with the utmost seriousness."

Tessa laughed and the two lapsed into silence again until she asked, "Will, who was Christopher Morgenstern?"

Will blinked at her in surprise. "Christopher...Why?" he asked, baffled.

"It was something Gabriel said," Tessa said hurriedly, feeling as though she were sharing a particularly private secret. "He asked his brother where Christopher was. Benedict got awfully angry about it as well."

Will shook his head, "Christopher Morgenstern was a Shadow Hunter, couple of years older than Gabriel. Gideon's age I think. He died about a year ago, rogue werewolves apparently. I didn't know they were close, though, suppose I should have. The Morgensterns and the Lightwoods have always been close. They share similar thoughts on Downworlders."

He smiled. "I bet Dieter Morgenstern would have a thing or two to say about Benedict's frolicking with demons." Tessa hummed and Will added, "I didn't really know Christopher that well. Jem knew him better. You could ask him if you really want to know."

Tessa was about to reply that it didn't really matter, it was just her curiosity getting the better of her but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. She and Will both looked up at the same time and this time it was Will who called, "Jem?"

But the door didn't swing open to reveal Jem. Instead Magnus Bane stood there with Gideon Lightwood hovering nervously behind him. "Tessa," Magnus said calmly. "I need your help."

Gabriel Lightwood was eight years old when he met Christopher Morgenstern and up to that point he'd thought his Mother was the most beautiful person he'd ever met.

Barbara Lightwood was beautiful, she had long, impossibly shiny dark hair that he'd heard women say they'd die for and her eyes were wide and clear and emerald green. Her skin was porcelain and her teeth were pearly white. Her voice had been musical, her laugh even more so and she moved with the elegant grace of a big cat. Beautiful and dangerous.

Gabriel preferred not to look too closely at his memories of his mother. He remembered the days when she had spent all her time with him and Tatiana (Gideon was always off with Father) and she had told them stories of her youth or dressed them up and played games with them. He tried to forget about the times she'd blindly follow his father's orders, like the time he'd screamed at her for treating Gabriel 'like a doll'. After that she hadn't spent a lot of time with him. (Gabriel was used to it though, for his mother their father was number one, or occasionally, Tatiana. For his father Gideon was number one. He was the back up. He'd always known that. He was okay with it.) Gabriel had tried over and over again to forget the day she'd died. Gideon and Father thought he was too young to remember but Gabriel knew that he remembered that day better than they did.

After that day Gabriel only thought about the good side of his mother, Gideon had taught him to never speak ill of the dead after all. So he'd always thought of his mother as the most beautiful person he'd ever met or ever would meet, until that summer's day in June.

He and Gideon had been in the library at their London house, Tatiana was being fostered by the Truebloods in Idris, they hadn't seen her for almost a year. Gideon was teaching Gabriel about Shadow Hunter runes when their father marched through the door followed by Dieter Morgenstern.

"Gideon, Gabriel," Father greeted icily. "Dieter will be staying her for a few weeks."

"Hello boys," Dieter smiled warmly at them. Gabriel liked Dieter whenever he was around their father behaved better. He didn't bring demons or warlocks or vampires back to the house, he didn't leave for days on end and (best of all) he didn't throw any of his parties. Gabriel hated his parties.

"Today I haven't come alone," Dieter said, beckoning for someone waiting in the corridor to come through. "This is Christopher, my son." He said.

Christopher stepped forwards, smiling coyly. He was taller than Gabriel, probably around Gideon's age. He had light blonde hair and shiny blue eyes, the colour of forget-me-nots or the midday sky in summer and for a few moments Gabriel was sure he was an angel.

But that was wrong, Gabriel knew it. Boys weren't beautiful. Boys were handsome. Girls were beautiful.

"He'll be staying here too. He's nine, a little older then you, Gabriel and a little younger then Gideon, but I'm sure you'll get along fine. You'll be great friends." Dieter said as Christopher waved at Gabriel shyly.

Gabriel's heart leapt, he'd never had a proper friend. He had Gideon, sure. And he had a few friends in Idris...but they were in Idris.

Father was getting impatient. "Dieter, come along. We do have business to attend to, you know."

Dieter rolled his eyes and waved Benedict's annoyance away. "Yes, yes, Benedict. I know." Then he turned back to Gabriel and Gideon. "Christopher's never been out of Idris before. It'd be good if you two could show him around London a little."

"I will!" Gabriel cried excitedly but he knew from his Father's expression that that was obviously the wrong thing to say. Gideon, copying their father, eyed Gabriel with an air of contempt before turning back to his book.

Dieter smiled and then turned and walked back to the doorway pausing to say, "I'm sure you'll do brilliantly, Gabriel. Have fun, Christopher. We'll see you boys later."

Benedict made to follow him but stopped and turned back. "Oh and Gideon, don't forget that Oliver Graymark will be coming here later to continue your training. Don't be late."

Gideon nodded, "Yes sir." And Gabriel's stomach twisted. He was supposed to be training with Oliver too. He wasn't doing the same thing Gideon was but still. Father was obviously very annoyed. He wanted to ask Gideon what he had done wrong but Gideon looked too engrossed in his book too care.

Gabriel hated the way Gideon pretended to be their father.

"Your father seemed a little angry," Christopher said awkwardly.

Gabriel shook himself, he'd almost forgotten about the other boy. He turned to him and smiled warmly, "He's always like that. He has a lot of work to do." He said.

Christopher smiled back and held out his hand, "You're Gabriel, right?"

Gabriel took it and shook. "Yes." He said, happily.

Gabriel and Christopher spent that whole month together. It was a boiling summer that year so they spent almost all day out in the city, running through the maze of streets and people in their own little world. And on the few days that it did rain the house became their palace. They played hide and seek or made up treasure hunts for themselves and sometimes Christopher, who loved to read, would make up stories about how they'd fight demons together when they were older. And all the while Gabriel watched his father grow angrier and angrier at him. He was missing practise sessions, he was missing lessons. All to play with Christopher.

Gabriel didn't want it to end but of course, it had to.

On Christopher's last day it stormed. Even London is going to miss Christopher, Gabriel thought as they lay together in the fort they'd built in the attic.

"I don't want to leave," Christopher whispered.

Gabriel sniffed. "I don't want you to leave either." He said softly. What he had wanted to say was: don't leave because you're my only friend and I don't know what my father will do to me.

Christopher was silent for a few moments and then he sat up and took Gabriel's hand in his own. "Gabriel, when we're older we'll still be best friends right?"

Gabriel blinked and then nodded. "Of course we will be!"

Christopher smiled, "Then I know how we can stay together, when we're older I mean." He added much to Gabriel's disappointment. "We can be parabatai."

Gabriel laughed because that was the best idea he'd ever heard in his life. "Yes! Yes! That'd be perfect!"

"Excellent!" Christopher giggled, pulling the quill and inkwell they had stashed in the fort towards them. "I know the runes, we can practise them now."

Gabriel nodded excitedly and smiled but then Christopher's expression turned serious. "But there's one thing. To be parabatai you have to trust each other, fully. Do you trust me, Gabe?"

Gabriel searched Christopher's face for any hint of a joke but he found none, so he frowned. "Of course I do, Kit."

Christopher's blue eyes were wide and sorrowful. "Then why won't you tell me why you're so afraid of your father?"

Gabriel didn't know how to answer that so he lied. "I'm not."

Christopher sighed. "Gabriel, why do you pretend everything's okay when it isn't?"

And then he got up and left.

Tessa stood over Gabriel's pale body, "What do you need me to do?" she asked.

Magnus had led her and Will down to the healing rooms while he'd explained that while he'd been able to stabilise Gabriel's condition he couldn't heal him without knowing what the runes carved into his skin were. So at best all Magnus could do was put off death. All the while Gideon had followed, pale and silent as a ghost.

"I need you to use your gift," Magnus replied. "You could change into him and see if you could see the memory of the attack."

Tessa felt slightly sick, seeing Gabriel's injuries was bad enough but having to live through them... Her mouth had suddenly gone very dry. "How would I even know what to look for?" she asked, trying to steady her voice. "I don't know the different types of demons or anything..."

Magnus smiled slightly, "You wouldn't need to because I would be with you." Tessa's confusion must have shown because Magnus sighed. "Someone really needs to teach you about warlocks. Warlocks can enter other people's minds usually if we have their permission but I can't enter Gabriel's mind because I don't have his permission. That and the fact that he's had several memory blocks put up."

Tessa was about to ask but Gideon stepped forwards explaining quickly, "They're exactly what they sound like. You can have a memory blocked off if you don't want to remember it. But why would Gabriel have any?" he asked, frowning.

"Have you met your father?" Will asked wryly. Everyone ignored him.

Magnus glanced at Gideon, "I have no idea. Ragnor Fell put them up, if that's any help." He turned back to Tessa, "Will you do it, Tessa?"

She looked at Gabriel, lying bloody and pale on the bed and his brother bent over him, hands balled in fists at his sides, he looked so angry and worried and helpless. Gabriel was young and he didn't deserve to die for his Father's sins. Then, for some reason, she looked at Will.

"I'll do it." She said firmly. "What do you want me to do?"

Gideon made sure to be hidden safely in his room when the Morgensterns left leaving his little brother to face his father's anger alone. Their father didn't like them playing, they were Shadow Hunters. They weren't meant to play. Gideon understood that their father was stricter than others and that it was far easier to just do as he said. But Gabriel didn't seem to understand that.

Gideon clamped his hands over his ears when he heard the front door slam and wished Gabriel could just be more like him.

"You'll never be a Shadow Hunter or anything if you act like that! You will never be good enough!"

You're a hand me down
It's better when you're not around
You feel good and look like you should
But you won't ever make us proud