Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
July...
Addison sat on the bench at school holding Lily to her. Lily was crying and tears were starting to fall down Addison's cheeks.
"Daddy doesn't come home."
"I know."
"I don't want Uncle Derek."
"You don't have much of a choice unless daddy comes home." Counselors and kids walked up. "Look everyone's coming are you ready for camp yet?" Lily was still crying.
"NO." Addison laughed and wiped her own tears away. She didn't like hearing lily cry. Plus she was extra emotional these days.
"Okay." Allison, a counselor, sat down next to them. "Sweetheart, you need to stop crying because I'm really emotional right now so it's making me cry."
"What's wrong Lily?"
"I don't want Addie to leave?"
"I've been home with you for three days. I have to work."
"She's going to go to work and you're going to have fun at camp and then you'll see her after camp." Addison shook her head.
"No, no. Uncle Derek is going to pick you up, and feed you lots of sugar so that I have to put you to bed really late." Allison tried to help.
"That's fun." Addison stood up and Lily held onto her. Another counselor Carrie, tried to get Lily off of Addison.
"Come on Lily. Aunt Addie needs to leave now." Carrie tried to pick her up and pull her away.
"Please don't pull her off of me. It makes it harder to leave her everyday because she doesn't learn to go willingly." Addison bent down. "One last kiss and big hug and then we let go." Lily smiled. It was like a game.
"Okay!" Addison gave her a hug and a kiss.
"One, two, three." Lily let go.
"The baby kicked."
"I know." Lily stepped closer to Addison. "What are you doing?"
"I didn't say goodbye to the baby." Lily patted Addison's belly. "Bye baby." She kissed her belly.
"You're such a good big sister."
"I know." They laughed.
"Be good. I'll see you tonight."
"Bye."
That night..
Addison came home to a quiet house. It's what she expected. It was after eleven. She hadn't expected to stay at the hospital that long, but when you're a surgeon a lot of unexpected things happened. She thought there would at least be a little more noise coming from the tv. She locked the door behind her and dropped her keys and purse on the table in the foyer. She walked into the living room and paused, surprised at what she saw. The room was a mess. There were plates, cups, ice cream bowls, stuff everywhere. But then she looked at the couch. Derek was sound asleep with Lily on his chest. His arms were wrapped protectively around her. Addison smiled at the sweet sight. A tear fell down her cheek. This is what she had wanted with Derek before. This is who she wanted to see in Derek. This was the man she loved and the man she wanted Mark to be. She covered them with a blanket, and then turned off the tv. She carried the dishes to the sink, but decided to tackle them in the morning. She walked back out to the living room to turn the light off and go upstairs. As she turned the light off, Derek woke up.
"Add?"
"Shh. Go back to sleep." She kissed both of their foreheads before heading to bed herself.
In the morning…Derek went into Addison's room after putting Lily in her bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently rubbed Addison's back until she woke up. She looked at him sitting there.
"Sorry to wake you. I have to get to work. Lily's in bed."
"Thanks for babysitting. You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you."
"Sorry we left a mess."
"Don't worry about it. You did plenty." He kissed her cheek.
"See you later. You should sleep more."
"Bye."
At work that afternoon…Addison walked up next to Derek.
"Someone was sad this morning when she found out uncle Derek left without saying goodbye."
"Aww. Did you want me to wake her at that hour to tell her I was leaving?"
"Oh no."
"I can't believe she slept like that on me all night."
"Oh she loves that. She doesn't get to do it as much anymore because of this belly. It's only when Mark is home."
"I'd fall asleep like that more often."
"Well forget the babysitter, you are more than welcome to do that whenever I need someone to watch them."
"I would love to."
"Good. You're now first on the list."
"So, why were you crying last night?"
"I wasn't crying."
"Don't lie. I saw you."
"You were asleep."
"I heard you pick up the dishes. I saw you when you turned out the light and then kissed me." She stood there. Not sure of what to say. "Just tell me."
"You, who you are right now, is what I wanted. Last night when I walked in, I was mad at you for the mess you guys left, but then I looked over at the couch and I saw you sound asleep with Lily on your chest, and I just…I don't know…it's what I always wanted to have with you. I kind of wished it was still New York before, only it was our child. I wanted there to be late nights where I would come home and my husband and child were sound asleep on the couch waiting up for me. When I saw you two, my heart melted. I could feel the immense amount of love that was in the room. It was perfect. I know I'm not going to have that."
"Don't say that. You can have anything you want."
"You try to get that out of Mark."
"Maybe Mark isn't the person who you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with."
"Well, we made a mistake that may force us to."
"Mark can still be the baby's father without the two of you living together. He already is doing that with the other kids."
"Let's change the subject before I start crying for real."
"So last night was fake tears?"
"No, it was bittersweet tears. These would be plan sad." Derek laughed.
"Oh I didn't know there was a difference."
"Men." She grinned.
"I like that we can talk like this now. Being friends was my favorite part of our relationship."
"Me too."
Few days later….
Addison went in Derek's office. It was the afternoon. He didn't even look up when she came in. She leaned against the door way.
"Oh Uncle Derek." Derek looked up and smiled.
"Yes?"
"I need a huge favor."
"Anything."
"Will you babysit tonight?"
"Of course."
"Bring Meredith with you. I don't want her mad because I need a babysitter."
"Okay. What time?"
"I have surgery at 5 so no later than 4. Actually Kaitlyn could start. They'll be okay at home for a little while."
"I can do 4 I think. Whose taking them home?"
"Me."
"Do you want to do all that running around?"
"Not really, but it's not far and I haven't seen the girls today and I'll be home after Lily's in bed so I should."
"Okay. Don't overdo it because you are afraid to ask for help."
"What am I doing right now?"
"Okay, okay."
After nine…Addison walked in the house. It was kind of quiet. Derek was sitting on the couch doing some work. He looked up when he heard the door open.
"How was the surgery?"
"Long and hard. All I want to do is put my feet up."
"Feet hurt?"
"Feet, back, you name it, it aches." He stood up.
"Sit down."
"Pregnancy wasn't made for surgeons." She sat on the couch. Derek sat across from her on the coffee table.
"Give me your feet."
"Why?"
"Trust me."
"Where's Meredith?"
"She went home about half an hour ago."
"At least you saw her this evening." She put her feet in Derek's lap.
"Part of your problem is your high heels, miss obstetrician."
"They look so good." He took her shoes off and started massaging her feet. She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes with her hands resting on her belly. "That feels so good."
"Good." Derek kept massaging her feet.
"Is Lily in bed?"
"She's sound asleep."
"Kaitlyn?"
"Watching a movie in the basement."
"You are an excellent babysitter."
"I try." He kept massaging. "How are your feet feeling?"
"Great."
"Lay down." She looked at him funny but obeyed. "On your side. Away from me." She rolled on her side. He started massaging her back.
"What did I do to deserve a great babysitter, a masseuse, and a friend?"
"You deserve it all right now." He kept massaging her back. He stopped after five minutes. "Feel better?" She rolled onto her back.
"Much better." He put a hand on her belly.
"How's the baby?" Addison smiled.
"Good." He ran his hand from one end of her belly to the other.
"I can't believe how big your belly has gotten."
"Hey."
"I mean it in only the best of ways."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
"I do."
"Derek."
"Yeah."
"Not that I don't appreciate it because I do, but should you be here giving me a massage and rubbing my belly?" He moved his hand off.
"I'm just helping you."
"I think Meredith might see it as helping me awful close."
"You're not getting it from the person who you should be getting it from. I'm just filling in a little." She tried to sit up and he helped her.
"I love it. I love that we are in a place in our relationship that we can do that, but you can't forget about your girlfriend, fiancée, and her feelings."
"I should probably go."
"You should probably go for Meredith's sake. If it weren't for her, I'd say stay."
"Thanks."
"No, thank you. They love it when you babysit. And thank you for the massage."
"And you should be conscious of what shoes you are wearing when you are on your feet all day."
"Go home." She grinned.
"See you tomorrow."
Derek went into Meredith's room and laid on the bed next to her.
"Are you just getting home?"
"Addison's surgery ran later than she expected."
"Oh. That happens."
"Yup, quite frequently."
"Yeah."
"Do you want kids?" Meredith was surprised.
"I don't know."
"Spending the evening with them makes me really want kids."
"I guess one day, but I would like to finish my residency first."
"Yeah."
"I don't want to be my mother and I don't want my kids to be me."
"You'll be different because you want to be different."
"But it's not much different. I'm a surgeon. We're surgeons. That's the different. Both of our kids' parents will live in the hospital."
"We would make great parents."
"You will."
"You will too."
"Is this about Addison?"
"No. I've just always wanted kids."
"This is. She's pregnant and you want that."
"Meredith, that's not it."
"Whatever. Can we just go to sleep?"
End of July….
Derek opened the door, surprised to find Addison standing there at that time of night.
"Hey." He let her in. "You look upset."
"I am. If I spill to you, I need you to take me seriously."
"I will. I'm here for you."
"Where's Meredith?"
"She had to work late. Where's Mark?"
"I don't know."
"Where are Kaitlyn and Lily?"
"New York."
"Do you not know where he is or do you not care?"
"I don't care." They sat on the couch. "He hasn't been home a lot lately. He missed every doctor's appointment."
"Doctor's appointments aren't critical."
"I want him to be involved in his child's life. I want him to want to be there. He hasn't even touched my belly yet. You touch it almost every time you see me."
"Tell him you want him to be involved."
"I did. More than once. Pretty much every night that we're all home, the four of us sit on the couch. Lily talks our ears off. Kaitlyn sits in the middle and rubs my belly and talks to the baby while we watch tv. She tried to get Mark to feel a few times, but he always had an excuse."
"What did he say when you told him to be more involved?"
"Geez Addison, lay off me or Not now Addison or You're getting the girls after work right? He hasn't spent time with them alone, or done anything for them since I moved in. If you didn't know better, you would think that they were my daughters and he was the stepfather moving in."
"Give him an ultimatum and then leave. Show him what he's missing out on."
"I would, but I'd feel bad for Kaity and Lily."
"Take them with you. You and the girls and (putting his hand on her belly) the baby deserve the best." The baby moved and he smiled. Addison smiled back.
"See, that's the kind of thing he should be happy about."
"I don't know what's up with Mark. I'll talk to him. The baby's moving like crazy."
"It has been since I got here." He started gently stroking her belly and the baby seemed to calm down. Addison leaned back and closed her eyes.
"I'm so tired."
"I can tell." Derek took his hand off her belly.
"Don't stop." He started again. "Some days when we're just talking and sitting here like this I feel like nothing changed, like we're still married and things were the way they were towards the beginning." Derek didn't know what to say. He looked at her and her belly. She looked so beautiful and he was falling in love with her all over again. They were the people who they married, not the Addison and Derek they had become. They sat in silence for a little while.
"It should be us."
"What?"
"We should be the ones having the baby. Not you and Mark, not Mark and Elizabeth and not Mark and Kathleen. Us." Addison laid her head on her should
"I know."
"You look more beautiful now than ever."
"Derek, don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't confess your undying love for me."
"But."
"I won't be able to control myself."
"I do love you."
"I love you too. That's what scares me."
"I don't think our relationship will ever end."
"Derek."
"I can control myself."
"No you can't. I know you too well."
"If it's requited."
"You make me melt." Derek looked dreamy.
"I know. Part of what is fun about you." He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. When she didn't pull back, he kissed more passionately. She broke it off, but there were only a few inches between them.
"We shouldn't."
"We can."
"What about Meredith? And Mark?"
"Mark doesn't deserve to be considered."
"Meredith."
"I'm not sure I made the right choice." They sat up, leaving space between them.
"I'm not sure you can reverse it. Derek, she's going to be very hurt if she finds out about that kiss. She's going to hate me more than she does." Derek started laughing. She smiled. "What?"
"You two. You're afraid that she hates you and she's afraid that you hate her. Obviously neither of you hates the other if you're worried about what the other thinks. It's just funny."
"She's really going to hate me if you break it off with her for me." Addison gasped. "I didn't mean."
"Addie. It's okay. You just said what I was thinking."
"I really don't want to be caught kissing my ex-husband by my ex-husband's fiancé. Awkward." Derek laughed. She closed her eyes again. "I have so much to do this week."
"Like?"
"The papers for the girls' school are due in two weeks. They need physicals. I have laundry and I'm going to have a lot more tomorrow. Just taking care of the girls can be exhausting."
"I can do some. I can take them to the doctor."
"I have to find a pediatrician first."
"Kaitlyn's been here for over a year and Lily for a while. Who's been taking care of them?"
"I have, but I can't sign school papers as a doctor once I'm their legal guardian."
"Just tell me if you need help. You need to take care of yourself and your baby too." He heard the door open and took his hand off her belly and turned around as Meredith came in.
"Hi hun."
"Hello." Addison sat up. "Addison."
"Hey. I was just borrowing your husband for a little heart to heart." Meredith smiled, fakely. "I have to go. I should be home in case they need to get in touch with me about the girls."
"Did you ever get the paper signed making you a guardian of them?"
"Not yet. We've been very slow about doing things since we found out about the baby."
"I'm sure. See you later." They kissed each other's cheeks.
"Bye. Oh, will you do something for me at the last minute tomorrow if I need you?"
"Of course. What?"
"I have to get the girls from the airport, but I don't want to get them alone and right now it looks like Mark won't be there."
"Just call me and I'll be there."
"Thanks."
"Come again. Our door's always open."
"Bye." Addison left.
"What was that?"
"I was just helping a friend. My best friend."
"I don't even know what to say."
"You shouldn't be jealous of her. She's my pregnant friend who's having problems with her relationship and family life right now. She just needed someone to talk to."
"She's also your ex-wife."
"Meredith, I'm not doing this now. You know her pretty well now. You were at one point becoming friends with her. Can we leave it alone?"
"You stop everything at the drop of a hat for her."
"She's pregnant. She's taking care of someone else's kids. She just needs some help. She can't do it all."
"What about Mark?"
"He hasn't been around lately."
"I see him at work everyday."
"He hasn't been home with Addison lately."
"Where does he go?"
"I don't know, but I don't think this is good so can you just forget about your issues with Addison and let me help her with Mark's kids so she doesn't have to do it all?"
"It's fine. I really don't care about that. I just care when you spend more time with them than me."
"I'm just helping a friend, like you run off to help Cristina."
"I understand."
"What's the problem then?"
"I'm just afraid that you…you don't think of her as just a friend."
"For the record, Addison and I have a past. A long past. As long as we have a good relationship, we will never be just friends. I'm not saying that we're lovers, I just mean that there is a lot between us and lot that keeps us together."
"Okay. I just need to know that you're committed before we get married."
"I am."
Next day…
Addison and Derek went to the airport to get Kaitlyn and Lily. Addison and Derek walked over to them. Lily immediately put her arms out for Addison. Addison took her and Lily laid her head on Addison's shoulder.
"I missed you."
"I missed you girls so much. The house was way too quiet."
"I think your belly got bigger."
"Don't I know."
"Let me take her." He took Lily from Addison and held her. Addison hugged and kissed Kaitlyn.
"Did you have fun?"
"It was so much fun. I got to see a lot of my friends." Addison rubbed Lily's back.
"Are you okay?"
"My ears hurt."
"She cried most of the six hours." They started walking to baggage claim.
"It was that bad?"
"Yeah. Luckily the third person in our row was a very nice woman with three kids who helped a lot."
"We'll have to look at her ears when we get home."
"Do we need to stop at the hospital first?"
"No. We now have an otoscope at home because she's been getting so many ear infections."
"Why are you two here? Where's dad?"
"Uncle Derek came to help me with you guys and your stuff because your father couldn't make it."
"Oh. You guys seem to be on very good terms again."
"Let's not talk about all of that right now." She made eye contact with Derek.